Can't you feel the elastic band tightening, Sister Gothique? Can't you feel the increased gravitation, as Tuscon calls you home? Oh, yes. Bums dance around the burn barrels, chanting your name. The Mayor is helpless in the face of fiscal disaster and rising crime. These are all signs.
We are preparing your place. We have rentboys, SG, Thai refugee rentboys with their underwear on backwards and boxing gloves stapled to their hands, so they cannot defile themselves before your arrival. We have selected teabaggers for their voices - each able to hit one perfect note - whose testicles we have wired to deep cycle batteries and a Yamaha keyboard, to play Ruffles and Flourishes when you get off the plane. We have funded all of this by confiscating panties from the nuns at the Alvernon convent, and selling them on Ebay.
All is ready.
And it's not so bad, once you think about it. Sure, it's hotter than hell, a million miles from anywhere, and you take in coyote shit every time you inhale...But on the other hand, we have The Truth. We understand, you see, that everyone else lies. We can tell just by looking at pictures of Lee Harvey Oswald, that he was a patsy and a schmuck (though the rumors of him being in 3 different places at once ARE true), and that while he may have THOUGHT he had something to do with Kennedy's death, he wasn't actually part of the conspiracy at all.
We know that "chemtrails" are just a smokescreen used to make the inquisitive into a laughing stock, while They get on with their real plans. We know this, alongside many other Horrible Truths™.
They've lied to you about everything since you left.
I will tell you the truth. I am Doktor Howl.
So get your bags packed, cram a fresh tampon into the cat, and get moving before it's too late. We will eat only the finest Indian food, and we shall DRIVE on that road of bones, into the dawn of a glorious new future...Which may or may not involve eating people from the foothills.
Okay for now,
TGRR
My thinking has led me to believe that all places are Tucson. Even here in mild Manhattan I suspect that if just enough of the pretty veneer was scraped off the reality would be exposed.
There is no safety nor security, only the ugly reality of many people in one place.
Quote from: Charley Brown on January 21, 2011, 04:29:51 PM
My thinking has led me to believe that all places are Tucson. Even here in mild Manhattan I suspect that if just enough of the pretty veneer was scraped off the reality would be exposed.
There is no safety nor security, only the ugly reality of many people in one place.
There is only one Tucson. Other cities may have their filth, and all cities are built on bones, but Tucson is nothing BUT filth and bones and The Truth.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 21, 2011, 04:30:58 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on January 21, 2011, 04:29:51 PM
My thinking has led me to believe that all places are Tucson. Even here in mild Manhattan I suspect that if just enough of the pretty veneer was scraped off the reality would be exposed.
There is no safety nor security, only the ugly reality of many people in one place.
There is only one Tucson. Other cities may have their filth, and all cities are built on bones, but Tucson is nothing BUT filth and bones and The Truth.
Tucson is but the Capitol. The example of how to truly embrace the ugly and then to laugh.
Quote from: Charley Brown on January 21, 2011, 04:32:23 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 21, 2011, 04:30:58 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on January 21, 2011, 04:29:51 PM
My thinking has led me to believe that all places are Tucson. Even here in mild Manhattan I suspect that if just enough of the pretty veneer was scraped off the reality would be exposed.
There is no safety nor security, only the ugly reality of many people in one place.
There is only one Tucson. Other cities may have their filth, and all cities are built on bones, but Tucson is nothing BUT filth and bones and The Truth.
Tucson is but the Capitol. The example of how to truly embrace the ugly and then to laugh.
"Embrace" is one word. :lol: Here we feed the ugly roofies, get busy, and then dump it off on its parents' doorstep. Johnny Cash and Elvis and Roy Orbison and Hank all haunt us, and we wouldn't have it any other way. We get filthy and like it, and even though we can't get a decent band to play here, we
know rock n roll, the same way Paris Hilton knows herpes.
This piece actually scares me. It makes me uncomfortable, like being at a funeral for an aunt who never liked me, and feeling like she wished I didn't show.
:elvis:
Tales of my return have been spoken, Rog...and I just can't resist me a prophet.
May be a tad longer than expected though if we keep hemorrhaging money. -.- Everything decided it needed to break NOW...
Quote from: Charley Brown on January 21, 2011, 04:29:51 PM
My thinking has led me to believe that all places are Tucson. Even here in mild Manhattan I suspect that if just enough of the pretty veneer was scraped off the reality would be exposed.
There is no safety nor security, only the ugly reality of many people in one place.
Oh, I understand that it might be "bad" there...but there can be only one Tucson. The world just couldn't handle more than one.
(http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr293/Feral_Banshee/Decorated%20images/highlander.jpg)
Quote from: Sister_Gothique on January 23, 2011, 10:47:44 PM
Tales of my return have been spoken, Rog...and I just can't resist me a prophet.
May be a tad longer than expected though if we keep hemorrhaging money. -.- Everything decided it needed to break NOW...
No excuses. The coming weird times will be too ticklish to properly appreciate in North Carolina. You have to go RIGHT TO THE SOURCE.
Lol, no, no excuses. We should be back within the year if all goes well. We only have a 6 month lease on this place.
Quote from: Sister_Gothique on January 24, 2011, 03:18:22 AM
Lol, no, no excuses. We should be back within the year if all goes well. We only have a 6 month lease on this place.
Well, if the happens and you're not here to see it, don't come crying to me.
Seriously. Drop all that shit, grab the kid and your boybot and get here quick. We must do something
grotesque before everything goes to hell. We owe society no less.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 21, 2011, 03:30:46 PM
Can't you feel the elastic band tightening, Sister Gothique? Can't you feel the increased gravitation, as Tuscon calls you home? Oh, yes. Bums dance around the burn barrels, chanting your name. The Mayor is helpless in the face of fiscal disaster and rising crime. These are all signs.
We are preparing your place. We have rentboys, SG, Thai refugee rentboys with their underwear on backwards and boxing gloves stapled to their hands, so they cannot defile themselves before your arrival. We have selected teabaggers for their voices - each able to hit one perfect note - whose testicles we have wired to deep cycle batteries and a Yamaha keyboard, to play Ruffles and Flourishes when you get off the plane. We have funded all of this by confiscating panties from the nuns at the Alvernon convent, and selling them on Ebay.
All is ready.
And it's not so bad, once you think about it. Sure, it's hotter than hell, a million miles from anywhere, and you take in coyote shit every time you inhale...But on the other hand, we have The Truth. We understand, you see, that everyone else lies. We can tell just by looking at pictures of Lee Harvey Oswald, that he was a patsy and a schmuck (though the rumors of him being in 3 different places at once ARE true), and that while he may have THOUGHT he had something to do with Kennedy's death, he wasn't actually part of the conspiracy at all.
We know that "chemtrails" are just a smokescreen used to make the inquisitive into a laughing stock, while They get on with their real plans. We know this, alongside many other Horrible Truths™.
They've lied to you about everything since you left.
I will tell you the truth. I am Doktor Howl.
So get your bags packed, cram a fresh tampon into the cat, and get moving before it's too late. We will eat only the finest Indian food, and we shall DRIVE on that road of bones, into the dawn of a glorious new future...Which may or may not involve eating people from the foothills.
Okay for now,
TGRR
Bump, cos it's only 6 more months til Sister Gothique impacts out by Vail! :banana:
For real?! :banana:
Riff Raff lives up the road in the Phoenix area, writing for Kingdom of Loathing. I wonder if he has been practicing his Karma Management skills in the Tucson area?
Quote from: The Commander on March 04, 2011, 04:33:23 AM
Riff Raff lives up the road in the Phoenix area, writing for Kingdom of Loathing. I wonder if he has been practicing his Karma Management skills in the Tucson area?
No. We have rules:
Rule #3: People from Phoenix are not permitted in Tucson, as they have no souls.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 04, 2011, 02:06:40 PM
Quote from: The Commander on March 04, 2011, 04:33:23 AM
Riff Raff lives up the road in the Phoenix area, writing for Kingdom of Loathing. I wonder if he has been practicing his Karma Management skills in the Tucson area?
No. We have rules:
Rule #3: People from Phoenix are not permitted in Tucson, as they have no souls.
Thank can't be true...I've got a receipt for Riffs soul right here.
Quote from: The Commander on March 11, 2011, 08:57:37 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 04, 2011, 02:06:40 PM
Quote from: The Commander on March 04, 2011, 04:33:23 AM
Riff Raff lives up the road in the Phoenix area, writing for Kingdom of Loathing. I wonder if he has been practicing his Karma Management skills in the Tucson area?
No. We have rules:
Rule #3: People from Phoenix are not permitted in Tucson, as they have no souls.
Thank can't be true...I've got a receipt for Riffs soul right here.
You got robbed.
Proof of the "no soul" thing: Google images of Jan Brewer.
Also google "Sheriff Joe Arpaio", read articles.
Toldja so.
I figured by time the second Good Humor man bit it, and the occurrence of the the-guy-who-got-shot-getting-shot-while-shooting-someone, it was a sign that it was time to come home. It's like hearing your mum call you in from outside.
You did, in fact, tell me so.....but I'm stubborn.
Hey, S_G, this spin is for you...
http://www.reverbnation.com/earfatigueproductions/song/11353462-goin-back-to-tucson
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 04, 2013, 04:57:59 AM
Hey, S_G, this spin is for you...
http://www.reverbnation.com/earfatigueproductions/song/11353462-goin-back-to-tucson
That's awesome, sir. :)