Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: Pæs on January 29, 2011, 11:17:02 AM

Title: How to become a senior intelligence officer in New Zealand
Post by: Pæs on January 29, 2011, 11:17:02 AM
Step 1: Lie to the government about having previously worked in intelligence overseas.
Step 2: Lie to the government about having designed the Polaris missile guidance system.
Step 3: Lie to the government about having competed in the Winter Olympics.
Step 4: ???
Step 5: PROFIT.

So you're saying that before we employ spies we should check their backgrounds? Sorry, we're not very good at this.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1351473/New-Zealand-government-embarrassed-employing-British-born-fantasist-senior-intelligence-officer.html?ito=feeds-newsxml
QuoteStephen Wilce's action-packed career appeared to rival the great heroes of thriller stories.

The British-born military scientist had worked as a spy, served with the Duke of York as a helicopter pilot, competed in the Winter Olympics, captained a Royal Navy swimming team and was a special forces soldier who ended up on an IRA death list.

He also boasted that he had designed the Polaris missile guidance system, that he was a member of the Welsh national rugby union team and, last but not least, that he was a guitarist on the British folk music circuit.

The only trouble was that Wilce's yarns were just that – total fiction

...

It has all proved very embarrassing for the New Zealand government, who employed the British expat as a senior intelligence officer.
...

The CV he tendered impressed a defence panel so much that he was given top level security clearance.
He oversaw 80 staff and had access to highly classified intelligence.

Title: Re: How to become a senior intelligence officer in New Zealand
Post by: Cain on January 29, 2011, 03:13:53 PM
On the other hand, being able to make a story like that seem convincing would be a necessary prerequisite for intelligence work.
Title: Re: How to become a senior intelligence officer in New Zealand
Post by: Juana on January 29, 2011, 08:16:10 PM
:lulz: That's pretty ballsy.
Title: Re: How to become a senior intelligence officer in New Zealand
Post by: Lies on January 31, 2011, 05:33:17 PM
This man should be given a medal.
Title: Re: How to become a senior intelligence officer in New Zealand
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 31, 2011, 05:50:35 PM
Promote him.
Title: Re: How to become a senior intelligence officer in New Zealand
Post by: Jasper on February 01, 2011, 12:48:36 AM
Unfortunately, he has to be let go. 




Overqualified.