...wanted to know about me right here... IN THIS THREAD....
Seems I have been slipping up with my alt account. I forgot who I was. So as it is easier to be me than someone else and since my lawyer has said ok... here you go on the trials and insanity of why I haven't been around, that you knew...... :wink:
Well, it sucks to be you guys today. I'm fixing to give you more information than you have ever wanted to know about me. Might explain a whole lot of why I am the bitch I am today.....
First off, just a touch of background.
http://www.naplesnews.com/news/2003/may/31/suspected-serial-killers-trial-begins-today-collie/ (http://www.naplesnews.com/news/2003/may/31/suspected-serial-killers-trial-begins-today-collie/)
Yeah, it wasn't a pretty time in my life. This is, thank god, one of only two articles still floating around out there that has my name in it. The articles with the kid's names are finally lost in cyberspace.
So life was crazy. I was paying off the husband's debts trying to keep the crack dealing mother fuckers from hurting my kids. I had finally gotten my shit into something resembling a life and then.....
BAM
http://www.floridasupremecourt.org/decisions/2006/sc03-1012.pdf (http://www.floridasupremecourt.org/decisions/2006/sc03-1012.pdf)
They let the fucker go. Yeah, the decision came over one day and he walked out of prison a free man the next.
Victim's Assistance put us (me and the kids) in the local shelter. When my sister-in-law tried to get my kids out of school a couple of days after their dad's release, we had to pull them out.
That was when we were moved up north. We went into the system. Lived in this shelter and that shelter. I basically homeschooled the kids for the rest of that year while we bounced around finally landing here in St. Louis and a "transitional" program.
For the first two years up here, we were terrified to say anything to anyone. I had been told the next step if their dad found us was identity change and I would lose all contact with my family. So I made no friends, the kids tried but it was difficult since the wrong slip and someone would Google one of the kids or me and I'd end up putting them in yet another school.
The program we were put into was a very badly run program. The damage to the kids and I both mentally and emotionally is something we are still working on.
Then their dad started trying to contact us. He was sending letters to my dad who would in turn send everything to us here in St. Louis. This worked really well until Dad died. A letter sent, not forwarded, then returned and we were found. Our only option with Victim's Assistance was to be moved to another state and put into another program. Or I could stand my ground.
So I stood. (Thanks Roger!!!) I filed for divorce. It has gotten really really ugly. A stupid reference on my fucking facebook page gave him this place. Then he started harassing me about everything I said or did here at PD, facebook. Tried the she's a witch I deserve custody trick, oh she admits to smoking weed online and so on.
Then came the day. I had a court appearance for a restraining order. While I was in court, he was in St. Louis trying to get my kids from their school. That same day the PI we had out in California said he hadn't left the house since the Friday before. But he wasn't in his house in California, he was in fucking St. Louis trying to get my fucking kids out of their school. The judge denied the restraining order because he was no danger to me in California (fucking PI). He didn't get the kids but he managed to piss me off royally. It was a couple of days after that when the shit completely hit the fan and I had to start an account here at PD their dad wouldn't know was me.
Now in the course of all of this shit 2006 to current, both of my parents have died, and I had the summer from hell. I'm not going to drag anyone into the whole insanity. My blog http://kharaschaos.blogdrive.com/ (http://kharaschaos.blogdrive.com/) is open to the public now.
So why, you ask, am I just now posting all of this? Could it be my divorce is final after all this time? No it isn't. But the lawyers met yesterday over the separation, custody, child support and legal fee agreement and as long as I don't tell any lies about the kid's dad, there is nothing I post here he can use against me. I go to court Monday to finalize this so the divorce can progress. There are too many people along with the court system who know where I am now that he can't kill me. So I've gotten another piece of my life back.
The funny part is, I've been here all along. Posting, trying to play, being the same person I've always been, just new. I've had my ass handed to me more than once and I've realized a lot about people I thought I knew better.
Be that as it may, I'm fucking back. Like me, hate me, or just don't give a flying fuck, it's all good. I'm back and I'm me again.
Once this is all over I still think you should disappear. Always have.
Quote from: Charley Brown on February 03, 2011, 07:30:01 PM
Once this is all over I still think you should disappear. Always have.
wat
Stay safe, Khara--I think I know who you were, because like you said, your blending got a little thin. I almost pm'd you. :D But then I remembered you had PD.com posting problems and needed to stay icognito. I'm hoping I treated you well as your alt--I get bitchy with everyone now and again. But I did miss you awfully while you were not able to post as often--I think the brutality of what you've endured is unimaginable to those of us who have never lived in fear for their lives or their children's lives.
I really do hope it all turns out in the end and he's put away for good or cannot come after you any longer. Stay strong, and huzzah for Roger helping you to do that!
I'm glad you can come out of your shell Khara, I've been checking that script to see who checks your accounts post history every so often and I didn't find anything unusual so I'd say he's moved on from here anyway, but the lawyers stuff sounds reassuring anyway.
Oh my God...I remember when that arrest was made. Fucking Collier County, they're another part of the damn state that should be cut loose into the fucking Gulf.
What are you going to do next?
Thanks y'all!! I missed being me and hanging with ya.
Faust, I think his lawyer opened his eyes to reality after he realized that he (kid's dad) wasn't the fine upstanding citizen being done wrong he claimed to be.
Quote from: Suu on February 03, 2011, 08:03:09 PM
Oh my God...I remember when that arrest was made. Fucking Collier County, they're another part of the damn state that should be cut loose into the fucking Gulf.
What are you going to do next?
Get the divorce finalized. Find a man. Have lots of sex.
Not necessarily in that order :lulz:
Quote from: Khara on February 03, 2011, 08:06:12 PM
Quote from: Suu on February 03, 2011, 08:03:09 PM
Oh my God...I remember when that arrest was made. Fucking Collier County, they're another part of the damn state that should be cut loose into the fucking Gulf.
What are you going to do next?
Get the divorce finalized. Find a man. Have lots of sex.
Not necessarily in that order :lulz:
:fap: :fap: :fap:
:eek:
that is one hell of a story
Quote from: Khara on February 03, 2011, 08:06:12 PM
Quote from: Suu on February 03, 2011, 08:03:09 PM
Oh my God...I remember when that arrest was made. Fucking Collier County, they're another part of the damn state that should be cut loose into the fucking Gulf.
What are you going to do next?
Get the divorce finalized. Find a man. Have lots of sex.
Not necessarily in that order :lulz:
:mittens:
First, HOLY FUCKING NUT MONKEYS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Glad this shit is coming to a wind down.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 03, 2011, 07:42:46 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on February 03, 2011, 07:34:01 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 03, 2011, 07:32:42 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on February 03, 2011, 07:30:01 PM
Once this is all over I still think you should disappear. Always have.
wat
Fresh start, new place. Unknown to the nut.
Fuck him.
In the ass with a big bore shotgun. Men like just fucking piss me the fuck off.
Wow, that's a rough several years. It seems like the worst part is behind you. I hope everything works out.
TOUGH AS NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTS!
just wanted to put that there.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 03, 2011, 07:42:46 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on February 03, 2011, 07:34:01 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 03, 2011, 07:32:42 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on February 03, 2011, 07:30:01 PM
Once this is all over I still think you should disappear. Always have.
wat
Fresh start, new place. Unknown to the nut.
Fuck him.
This. Fuck his hole with a spiky pole! After all that fighting for what you have today, to disappear now would be like taking a fall. And for what? If he wants to find you, he will anyway. And now, if he so much as looks sideways at you again, or turns up and starts kicking off, I'm sure no D.A would even think it was anything other than self defence if you shot the fucker dead. In his sleep even. He must know that. So yeah, fuck him.
ETA, Oh, and welcome back. :kiss:
I appreciate all of the sentiments :lulz: I love you guys!!!
***For the record I have no intention of causing any physical, mental or emotional harm to the father of my children.***
In other news we have court on Monday to finalize the seperation agreement which includes *G*A*S*P* child support, legal fee responsibility and custody. I know it's hard to realize, probably just Roger, Jenne and Charley know the stress of me and actually going thru with this, but this is a HUGE thing for me!!
Quote from: Khara on February 04, 2011, 02:20:58 PM
I appreciate all of the sentiments :lulz: I love you guys!!!
***For the record I have no intention of causing any physical, mental or emotional harm to the father of my children.***
In other news we have court on Monday to finalize the seperation agreement which includes *G*A*S*P* child support, legal fee responsibility and custody. I know it's hard to realize, probably just Roger, Jenne and Charley know the stress of me and actually going thru with this, but this is a HUGE thing for me!!
Stand tall kid.
Dang.
Thanks for sharing. If you can get through that pile o' crap, I can get through mine, which isn't nearly so bad.
Quote from: Luna on February 04, 2011, 03:21:20 PM
Dang.
Thanks for sharing. If you can get through that pile o' crap, I can get through mine, which isn't nearly so bad.
Everyone's tall building is a different size...... Just don't let it make you hide instead of leaping!!!
Quote from: Khara on February 04, 2011, 04:45:25 PM
Quote from: Luna on February 04, 2011, 03:21:20 PM
Dang.
Thanks for sharing. If you can get through that pile o' crap, I can get through mine, which isn't nearly so bad.
Everyone's tall building is a different size...... Just don't let it make you hide instead of leaping!!!
The samaritans must love you. Learn to metaphor noob! :lulz:
Seriously, tho, sounds like you're almost at the end of the tunnel. Just wait'll you see how strong you are, now when you step out the other side.
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on February 04, 2011, 04:50:02 PM
Quote from: Khara on February 04, 2011, 04:45:25 PM
Quote from: Luna on February 04, 2011, 03:21:20 PM
Dang.
Thanks for sharing. If you can get through that pile o' crap, I can get through mine, which isn't nearly so bad.
Everyone's tall building is a different size...... Just don't let it make you hide instead of leaping!!!
The samaritans must love you. Learn to metaphor noob! :lulz:
Seriously, tho, sounds like you're almost at the end of the tunnel. Just wait'll you see how strong you are, now when you step out the other side.
Heh. I got what she meant.
Every day, a little stronger.
Quote from: Luna on February 04, 2011, 04:53:44 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on February 04, 2011, 04:50:02 PM
Quote from: Khara on February 04, 2011, 04:45:25 PM
Quote from: Luna on February 04, 2011, 03:21:20 PM
Dang.
Thanks for sharing. If you can get through that pile o' crap, I can get through mine, which isn't nearly so bad.
Everyone's tall building is a different size...... Just don't let it make you hide instead of leaping!!!
The samaritans must love you. Learn to metaphor noob! :lulz:
Seriously, tho, sounds like you're almost at the end of the tunnel. Just wait'll you see how strong you are, now when you step out the other side.
Heh. I got what she meant.
Every day, a little stronger.
Hell yeah! It's trite and shite and cliche to death but that old saying "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger"? That's the nearest thing to a mantra I have in this life.
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on February 04, 2011, 04:58:20 PM
Quote from: Luna on February 04, 2011, 04:53:44 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on February 04, 2011, 04:50:02 PM
Quote from: Khara on February 04, 2011, 04:45:25 PM
Quote from: Luna on February 04, 2011, 03:21:20 PM
Dang.
Thanks for sharing. If you can get through that pile o' crap, I can get through mine, which isn't nearly so bad.
Everyone's tall building is a different size...... Just don't let it make you hide instead of leaping!!!
The samaritans must love you. Learn to metaphor noob! :lulz:
Seriously, tho, sounds like you're almost at the end of the tunnel. Just wait'll you see how strong you are, now when you step out the other side.
Heh. I got what she meant.
Every day, a little stronger.
Hell yeah! It's trite and shite and cliche to death but that old saying "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger"? That's the nearest thing to a mantra I have in this life.
Cliches didn't get to be cliches for being wrong.
I know I'm going to come out of this okay. Got good friends who've got my back... I just have to wade through the inevitable crap.
Glad to hear this is almost done with, Khara. :)
Quote from: Hover Cat on February 05, 2011, 01:26:03 AM
Glad to hear this is almost done with, Khara. :)
Thees. :)
I hope this bullshit resolves itself quickly and neatly. I hope you and your kids get all the help you need. I hope the father of your kids dies in a fucking fire.
Or at least scorches his eyebrows.
Or maybe singes his favorite shirt. Hah! That would show him what for.
The one with the little Arrows on it?
:argh!:
The ^&*^#(^$@^%*%^&%^^& (please remember I curse like a sailor so fill in the blank as nasty as you can) was conveniently terminated Friday from his job.
Convenient because we have court today to determine child support and legal fees.
So to my children's sperm donor......
Hey there you, because I know you are reading this......
I'm going to share with you some advice a good friend gave me.
Stop telling lies about me and I will stop telling the truth about you!
Also, get a fucking job!!
deadbeat
He still has to pay child support. They can garnish unemployment.
If he sees this I hope he knows I'm laughing at him IRL right now.
Quote from: Faust on February 17, 2011, 05:46:01 PM
If he sees this I hope he knows I'm laughing at him IRL right now.
You are not alone.
Make sure the judge is aware that he chose the day before court to get his ass fired. (If your lawyer can move fast and get a statement from his HR department, bonus.) If you get the right judge, that sort of stunt is NOT going to have the judge laughing at him.
No, but we sure as hell are.
Well he hasn't shown up at court this time. Not like he had anything to do like go to a job.
The waiting is the worst!!
The more he doesn't show up, the more he looks like a twat.
Quote from: Princess Suu the Apostate on February 17, 2011, 07:46:26 PM
The more he doesn't show up, the more he looks like a twat.
You have the prettiest eyes.
Quote from: Charley Brown on February 17, 2011, 09:40:34 PM
Quote from: Princess Suu the Apostate on February 17, 2011, 07:46:26 PM
The more he doesn't show up, the more he looks like a twat.
You have the prettiest eyes.
She does. When her head finally explodes, I intend to catch them and use 'em, myself.
Ok, here's how it went down...
Until the divorce trial....
I have...
Primary physical and legal custody of the kids.
A court order for $340.00 per month child support.
Supervised visitations with the kids only in St. Louis lasting no more than 3 hours per day for each day he is here. He has to give me 2 weeks notice that he is coming here.
Contact with me is only thru email and he may call the kids during reasonable hours until 9:00 pm CST.
So I'm cool with all of that.
Neither of us can discuss the divorce with the kids or make disparaging remarks abput the other to the kids. Not like I've bad mouthed him to the kids anyway. His broken promises and lies are why they want nothing to do with him.
So still in the process but by god I'm still standing and at least I feel I took steps forward today!!
:lulz:
Not showing up is the worst possible move. Way to go you!
Quote from: Luna on February 17, 2011, 09:48:03 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on February 17, 2011, 09:40:34 PM
Quote from: Princess Suu the Apostate on February 17, 2011, 07:46:26 PM
The more he doesn't show up, the more he looks like a twat.
You have the prettiest eyes.
She does. When her head finally explodes, I intend to catch them and use 'em, myself.
No. They're to be throw in the water off an aircraft carrier. Like in Hot Shots.
(http://i748.photobucket.com/albums/xx128/ChuckFukmuk/tumblr_lfv1wtv21p1qcbo9lo1_400.jpg)
Quote from: Khara on February 17, 2011, 10:05:58 PM
Ok, here's how it went down...
Until the divorce trial....
I have...
Primary physical and legal custody of the kids.
A court order for $340.00 per month child support.
Supervised visitations with the kids only in St. Louis lasting no more than 3 hours per day for each day he is here. He has to give me 2 weeks notice that he is coming here.
Contact with me is only thru email and he may call the kids during reasonable hours until 9:00 pm CST.
So I'm cool with all of that.
Neither of us can discuss the divorce with the kids or make disparaging remarks abput the other to the kids. Not like I've bad mouthed him to the kids anyway. His broken promises and lies are why they want nothing to do with him.
So still in the process but by god I'm still standing and at least I feel I took steps forward today!!
Sounds like PROGRESS TOWARDS VICTORY.
Dedicate a notebook. Write down every single time he breaks any of that shit. 13 days notice instead of 14? Write it down. Late a day with the support? Write it down. Tries to talk to you on the phone when he calls the kids? Write it down, along with what he tried to say. Document EVERYTHING.
Congrats on progress, it's a good thing.
Quote from: Luna on February 18, 2011, 01:17:30 PM
Dedicate a notebook. Write down every single time he breaks any of that shit. 13 days notice instead of 14? Write it down. Late a day with the support? Write it down. Tries to talk to you on the phone when he calls the kids? Write it down, along with what he tried to say. Document EVERYTHING.
Congrats on progress, it's a good thing.
^this.
I'm being so damned anal about this it is making me feel dirty.....
Better that than that fuckwad having your kids, right?
Quote from: Hover Cat on February 18, 2011, 08:09:46 PM
Better that than that fuckwad having your kids, right?
Exactly!!!
Thirding the documentation suggestion. Time stamps, pictures, receipts; whatever you have or can scrounge, get it all down and neat. If he cusses you out on the phone - be prepared to record it and then transcribe the conversation. :P Get letters from your kids' school(s) stating the dates he tried/tries to take them out of class or shows up or whatever else.
Congrats on the progress. :D :D :D Good luck with the next part.
Quote from: Khara on February 17, 2011, 10:05:58 PM
Ok, here's how it went down...
Until the divorce trial....
Contact with me is only thru email and he may call the kids during reasonable hours until 9:00 pm CST.
I guess he missed this point with his lawyer. I have complied with the order. I emailed the kid's phone numbers to him (still hasn't called once BTW).
Than Saturday out of nowhere he fucking texts me. So I'm looking at this text thinking.... a judge orders contact only via email and so what happens HE TEXTS ME :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
I replied to his text via email and forwarded the text to my lawyer.
I am enjoying this already..... :evil:
Write it down in your notebook. Copy the text, time/date, note that you responded via e-mail (print it out, staple it in) and forwarded to your lawyer.
Track it ALL.
Oh I am!! :lulz:
if it's an iphone you can take a screenshot of it by pushing the big button and the top button at the same time.
saves it to your camera roll
Quote from: Sir Squid Diddimus on February 22, 2011, 04:09:05 PM
if it's an iphone you can take a screenshot of it by pushing the big button and the top button at the same time.
saves it to your camera roll
I wish... :lulz:
I forwarded the text to my lawyer's email and my oldest took a pic of it and we printed it out for the folder!!
Quote from: Khara on February 22, 2011, 04:43:41 PM
Quote from: Sir Squid Diddimus on February 22, 2011, 04:09:05 PM
if it's an iphone you can take a screenshot of it by pushing the big button and the top button at the same time.
saves it to your camera roll
I wish... :lulz:
I forwarded the text to my lawyer's email and my oldest took a pic of it and we printed it out for the folder!!
That should do. Just document the time and date. (I'd recommend pulling up your cell phone records, printing them out, and highlighting his incoming text.)
UGH... Just got this in my email....
Quoteill be coming on the 18th leaving on the 22nd.i would like to see the kids on the 19th trhu the 21st.e-mail back and let me know what time is good for the kids on those days
So the middle son has these art classes every Saturday at Washington University. He's not done until 3:00 or so, and they have school on Monday. Their spring break is the week of the 14th which he never asked about.
SIGH.....
Quote from: Khara on March 04, 2011, 05:50:56 PM
UGH... Just got this in my email....
Quoteill be coming on the 18th leaving on the 22nd.i would like to see the kids on the 19th trhu the 21st.e-mail back and let me know what time is good for the kids on those days
So the middle son has these art classes every Saturday at Washington University. He's not done until 3:00 or so, and they have school on Monday. Their spring break is the week of the 14th which he never asked about.
SIGH.....
Then that's what you tell him. On the 19th, Johnny is in art class until 3, he'll be available after 4. And the 20th and the 21st, they are all in school and are not home until 5:00 (or whatever). Do you have to deal with him for pickups and dropoffs?
The visits are supervised, I will meet him at a mutually agreed upon location..... :|
Quote from: Khara on March 04, 2011, 07:33:15 PM
The visits are supervised, I will meet him at a mutually agreed upon location..... :|
Well, then. Toss in a throwoff comment about how you'd had plans for Saturday night, but will reschedule, but the weeknights are just impossible due to (whatever). Look reasonable, make him look like the douche for picking a shitty time to visit, and let HIM work around YOUR schedules.
Quote from: Luna on March 04, 2011, 07:35:28 PM
Quote from: Khara on March 04, 2011, 07:33:15 PM
The visits are supervised, I will meet him at a mutually agreed upon location..... :|
Well, then. Toss in a throwoff comment about how you'd had plans for Saturday night, but will reschedule, but the weeknights are just impossible due to (whatever). Look reasonable, make him look like the douche for picking a shitty time to visit, and let HIM work around YOUR schedules.
:lulz:
I just really don't want the drama.
It's not causing drama, if your kids got shit that they normally do, is important AND school is still in session, then you are looking out for their best interests.
What Coyote said. He does NOT get to disrupt your lives.
No drama, just inform him, AS HE ASKED, "this is what the kids have for schedules, this is when they're free." Adding in, "I can adjust MY schedule" makes you look good, but isn't required. Adding in a comment along the lines of "had you asked, THESE days would work better, maybe you can plan around them in the future" would work, too.
Be reasonable, look MORE reasonable, but don't give the bastard an inch.
Oh I explained that my son had art and he couldn't see him until afterwards and that the kids had school on that Monday so he would have to wait until I was home from work. He's not being unreasonable, he has given me the two weeks notice.
I just don't want to see him.
I am better control of my temper and my tongue from a distance.... :|
I understand completely, I assure you.
I found this picture today and was like OMG is that REALLY me?
So when I tell ya I've lost a shit ton of weight....
Also this is not for WOMP, this is actually quite an embarassing picture. :oops:
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v487/Siochain/fatmichelle.jpg)
You look far better now. Much healthier and happier.
Quote from: Suu the Infallible on April 15, 2011, 04:22:17 PM
You look far better now. Much healthier and happier.
:lulz: yeah 200 pounds will do that!!
:mittens: All is transitory.
DAMN GIRL. :mittens: I'm so impressed and proud--you need to get out and shake that skinny thing you call an ass now!