The next maggot that Enrico sees whining in this board is going to be paper cutted deeply between thumb and forfinger, then Enrico will fuck the cut. It will not be as sexytime as it sound.
Ok, speak of sexytime, Enrico is curious... who is willing to speak of first time they had performed the jiggle-tango?
If you are all good faggots and entertain the Generalissimo, he might even grace you with the story of his first time. Might.
DO IT! TELL ENRICO A STORY!
your friend,
in good times and bad,
the Center Square on Hollywood Squares from February 1980-April 1980,
still waterproof after all these years,
Enrico Ritzibottom Salazar
Dear Uncle Enrico,
It appears that I am moving into a neighborhood of Salazorians. At first I thought they were ordinary Italians, and then I smelled the Codfish oil cologne emanating from next door, it's the same brand that you sent my ex-husband as a wedding gift.
What is a proper Salazorian greeting for these folks? And what do I do to get them off of my property?
Snuggles,
Suu
Dear Enrico,
I have missed your snuggly yet vicious humor and scathing yet tantalizing tongue round these parts.
I don't have any great stories, but I do wonder if you can tell me how you would dispose of the creep that is married to my best friend who's also my cousin. You see, this fool thought she slept around on him so he had her take a motherfucking lie detector test. Twice. Granted, he has epilepsy and brain damage from driving into a brick wall at 60 mph when he was 19 (while drug running and being chased by cops). However, he's a total fucknut and messes with my chi.
How to dispose of him such that 1) no one ever guesses where he is and 2) at least make him FEEL like he's disposed of if I lack the talents to do it properly.
Yours in gloriousnesshood,
Jenne
Enrico, as always, has the right of it.