Causing chaos, discord, and strife is both an overt and a subtle art. Anyone can yell "FIRE", publically soil themselves, or start beef. It's not hard to make a scene. A few fine touches though can take even a quiet day and turn it into a clusterfuck, if done artfully. When it's pulled off well, it doesn't look like anyone caused or provoked ANYTHING. It looks like the victims were gaping mouthed fish from the ocean of herp and derp, who just happened to jump into barrels and shoot themselves.
Of course Eris was a 5th degree black belt in this sort of mayhem – fu.
She showed up for a wedding once, in her dirty bathrobe chomping the cheapest Quik-E-Mart stogie she could find, and greeted the assembled pantheon in a very formal and respectful way.
"Sup Fuckers?"
One look, and everyone decided she was NOT wanted at this party.
For one, she wasn't invited. Still, if she had showed up looking nice, or even in some state of CLEAN, acting nice, she'd have been welcomed. Protip, you can crash ANY party if you're dressed right, act right, and can get past security. Try it. Most hosts will rather welcome a charming person than break the pleasant tone of the party to kick them out.
Second, she was gross. Less detail there the better. She had completed her ensemble with the gaudiest dollar store flip flops she could fine, and a plastic hair clip that barely kept her mussed mane out of her way. She hadn't shaved either, and the sounds of the stubble crackling off her legs and armpits against the pizza and beer crusted bathrobe was like a rainforest dying a slow, emo death to the saws of the Acme Logging Co.
They told her to fuck off, and in retaliation she tossed out the infamous apple. Everyone was so fixated on the apple, and the scene it produced that they missed her "loosing" a flip flop to the dog (It was Cerberus, and he had indigestion for a week.), and stubbing out her stogie down one of the marble columns, leaving a blacks streak that never –quite- came out. She also lost the hairclip on the rug. Someone stepped on it, and Hestia went NUTS trying to get all the little plastic bits out.
She went home to have a good gloat and watch the fallout. The Trojan War was the obvious highlight, and dominated CNN for months.
The part that nobody quite caught was the apple itself. After Paris awarded it to Aphrodite, she took it home and put it on display in the middle of the foyer, all proud and shinny. After a week though, the wording changed subtly. Instead of "For the Fairest", it now said, "The Fairest had this up her Ass last night."
Quote from: Richter on February 17, 2011, 04:43:02 PM
She hadn't shaved either, and the sounds of the stubble crackling off her legs and armpits against the pizza and beer crusted bathrobe was like a rainforest dying a slow, emo death to the saws of the Acme Logging Co.
:spittake:
Well done. :lulz:
Quote from: Richter on February 17, 2011, 04:43:02 PM
Causing chaos, discord, and strife is both an overt and a subtle art. Anyone can yell "FIRE", publically soil themselves, or start beef. It's not hard to make a scene. A few fine touches though can take even a quiet day and turn it into a clusterfuck, if done artfully. When it's pulled off well, it doesn't look like anyone caused or provoked ANYTHING. It looks like the victims were gaping mouthed fish from the ocean of herp and derp, who just happened to jump into barrels and shoot themselves.
Of course Eris was a 5th degree black belt in this sort of mayhem – fu.
She showed up for a wedding once, in her dirty bathrobe chomping the cheapest Quik-E-Mart stogie she could find, and greeted the assembled pantheon in a very formal and respectful way.
"Sup Fuckers?"
One look, and everyone decided she was NOT wanted at this party.
For one, she wasn't invited. Still, if she had showed up looking nice, or even in some state of CLEAN, acting nice, she'd have been welcomed. Protip, you can crash ANY party if you're dressed right, act right, and can get past security. Try it. Most hosts will rather welcome a charming person than break the pleasant tone of the party to kick them out.
Second, she was gross. Less detail there the better. She had completed her ensemble with the gaudiest dollar store flip flops she could fine, and a plastic hair clip that barely kept her mussed mane out of her way. She hadn't shaved either, and the sounds of the stubble crackling off her legs and armpits against the pizza and beer crusted bathrobe was like a rainforest dying a slow, emo death to the saws of the Acme Logging Co.
They told her to fuck off, and in retaliation she tossed out the infamous apple. Everyone was so fixated on the apple, and the scene it produced that they missed her "loosing" a flip flop to the dog (It was Cerberus, and he had indigestion for a week.), and stubbing out her stogie down one of the marble columns, leaving a blacks streak that never –quite- came out. She also lost the hairclip on the rug. Someone stepped on it, and Hestia went NUTS trying to get all the little plastic bits out.
She went home to have a good gloat and watch the fallout. The Trojan War was the obvious highlight, and dominated CNN for months.
The part that nobody quite caught was the apple itself. After Paris awarded it to Aphrodite, she took it home and put it on display in the middle of the foyer, all proud and shinny. After a week though, the wording changed subtly. Instead of "For the Fairest", it now said, "The Fairest had this up her Ass last night."
:lulz:
You, sir, have a PM incoming.