First, TGRR:
1. Do not approach me about your new-found faith in Baby Jesus, or the Free Market™, or the fact that you just found out about the Pentabarf and want to share.
2. Do not leave that loud-ass motherfucking dog out past 9PM, or before 7AM.
3. Do not call me with a "head's up" for Monday at 6:30AM on Saturday. Prick.
4. Do not "doorstep" me because I made you mad on the internet. I invented this game.
5. Do not tell me what a prick the other admins are. Also do not tell me what I really think, or what I actually believe, or whimper about who's a real Discordian™ and who isn't.
6. Do not try to outweird me in my thread, unless you can actually pull it off. Going from POGS to syphilis, for example.
7. Do not attempt to tell the maintenance manager (me) how to fix something, unless you have more years on a wrench, or unless you designed the machine.
8. Do not hit my house with golf balls.
9. Do not drive 55MPH in the left lane, in a 65MPH zone. I will get in your trunk, crawl through my windshield and your back seat, and choke you until we smash into the median and burst into a ball of HOLY FIRE.
10. The proper place for complaints about my abusive tone or my lack of understanding about happy children dancing in the wildflowers is UP YOUR ARSE. It is NOT my PM box1. The return abuse you get is just a taste of what awaits you, should we ever get in the same zip code. Also, if you use my PM box as an advice column, expect the worst.
Next, Nigel:
You can't. She's going to kill you. Best get used to the idea, update your life insurance, and make your time.
1 More anonymized answers to PMs today.
Is death by TGRR and/or DEN considered assisted suicide on the idiot's part or justifiable homicide on yours?
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on March 31, 2011, 10:10:46 PM
Is death by TGRR and/or DEN considered assisted suicide on the idiot's part or justifiable homicide on yours?
It is considered an act of "Bob".
So long as my accidental death and dismemberment insurance covers the costs of the funeral . . .
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on March 31, 2011, 11:13:11 PM
So long as my accidental death and dismemberment insurance covers the costs of the funeral . . .
What makes you think there'll be enough identifiable pieces left for a funeral?
There's still the memorial service, even if they aren't really sure that the ashes they have are yours.
Quote from: Luna on March 31, 2011, 11:27:11 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on March 31, 2011, 11:13:11 PM
So long as my accidental death and dismemberment insurance covers the costs of the funeral . . .
What makes you think there'll be enough identifiable pieces left for a funeral?
Depends which one of us gets her. If it's Nigel, there will be crispy bits that could be molded into something resembling a person.
If it's me, her bits will be mixed in with mine and various passers-by. Just stick it all in a bucket and send it to the NRC.
:lulz:
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on March 31, 2011, 11:13:11 PM
So long as my accidental death and dismemberment insurance covers the costs of the funeral . . .
"Accidental"? :lulz:
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 31, 2011, 11:29:12 PM
Quote from: Luna on March 31, 2011, 11:27:11 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on March 31, 2011, 11:13:11 PM
So long as my accidental death and dismemberment insurance covers the costs of the funeral . . .
What makes you think there'll be enough identifiable pieces left for a funeral?
Depends which one of us gets her. If it's Nigel, there will be crispy bits that could be molded into something resembling a person.
If it's me, her bits will be mixed in with mine and various passers-by. Just stick it all in a bucket and send it to the NRC.
:crankey: This turned me on. WTF?
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 31, 2011, 04:24:24 PM
6. Do not try to outweird me in my thread, unless you can actually pull it off. Going from POGS to syphilis, for example.
Just for my own clarity... was the jump from POGS to syphilis a successful attempt at outweirding, or a failed attempt? Just trying to get a baseline here.
Quote from: Sexecutioner Chao Tight on April 01, 2011, 05:03:49 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 31, 2011, 04:24:24 PM
6. Do not try to outweird me in my thread, unless you can actually pull it off. Going from POGS to syphilis, for example.
Just for my own clarity... was the jump from POGS to syphilis a successful attempt at outweirding, or a failed attempt? Just trying to get a baseline here.
It was Weltburger. That's means automatic failure.
He never saw a successful thread
1 that he didn't want to wreck. Fortunately in that particular case, for once, everyone ignored his aspie ass and continued having fun.
1 Successful meaning "people were enjoying themselves".
This is all top-notch advice, and I wish it had been around when I was a larval spag. Never broke any of those exact guidelines, but even so. Better safe than sorry.
There was this guy, think his name was Steve, who used to frolic with me in the Dark Empress's Sovereign Apocalyptic Wasteland when we were but whelps.
One time, Steve started thinking that maybe vaccines aren't all they're cracked up to be; that maybe they're actually a harmful dogmatic practice without real medical value. He held onto this belief for well over 5 whole minutes (I tore ass as far away as I could as soon as he told me about it). Do you know what happened to Steve?
Me neither. I hope I never know.
Quote from: Cainad on April 01, 2011, 05:15:07 AM
This is all top-notch advice, and I wish it had been around when I was a larval spag. Never broke any of those exact guidelines, but even so. Better safe than sorry.
There was this guy, think his name was Steve, who used to frolic with me in the Dark Empress's Sovereign Apocalyptic Wasteland when we were but whelps.
One time, Steve started thinking that maybe vaccines aren't all they're cracked up to be; that maybe they're actually a harmful dogmatic practice without real medical value. He held onto this belief for well over 5 whole minutes (I tore ass as far away as I could as soon as he told me about it). Do you know what happened to Steve?
Me neither. I hope I never know.
:lulz:
:spittake:
Cainad is genius and awesome.