Who will save you, when the deal goes down and shit goes all sideways, and there's too much month left at the end of the sanity? Who, I ask, will help you when the wagons are circled and the water's running out, and the cavalry is all off saving some other country, leaving you to the tender mercies of the Yaqui?
Big Gay Cowboys, that's who.
Yep. We've tried the Conspiracy™ brand remedies, we've given them every chance to fix things...Oh, and they've fixed them, all right. Things are SO fixed that there's no hope at all anymore of repairing things using The System.
So it's up to the freaks, the perverts, the square pegs, and LMNO's posse of Fabulous Gunslingers. If YOU were the Fightin' Jesus, who would YOU work with? Obama? Boehner? The teabaggers?
No, if he's coming back, he's wielding a sword, so sayeth the book of Luke. So he won't be wearing an Armani suit and explaining the merits of the so-called Free Market™. He'll be doing what he did best, hanging out with sinners...Because then, as now, those filthy sinners were the only people that COULD be saved. You'll notice he didn't spend much time with the Pharisees.
And didn't He preach Slack™? Something about birds and not stressing out about tomorrow, as I recall. Well, there's not a lot of Slack™ around, these days, so it's my opinion that he's gonna be a little bent out of shape when he sees the shape we're in.
So saddle up, LMNO, and bring all your freaks and hard-core trannies and weirdos, because Ragnarok is upon is, and it's time to set loose the Four Magickal Hosries of the Lolerclypse.
Yes, we shall rant and roar, stomp ass and spit blood, and none shall stand before us, primarily because we won't let them know where we're doing it. Oh, they'll know what we're doing, of course...They already do, and it scares them shitless.
That's the part you have to remember, brothers and sisters...They are scared of us. How could they not be? They have their picket fences and their Lexuses (Lexii?), they have their IRAs and their 401Ks, they have two and a half kids they've never met, and their deep concern for what everyone else's kids are up to.
What they don't have is guts. They don't have the courage to have a good time, and it scares the fuck out of them when we do...Hardly a surprise, because the Con has told them what to like, and since they've gone into debt up to their assholes getting those things, they're paranoid that YOUR good time will fuck up THEIR stuff.
It's time to take America™ back, because when it's just plain old America, it's something worth having. It's Saturday Night, it's cruising in your car with the windows down and the music playing, it's BIG, RED STRAPS in broad daylight, it's fropping yourself to the gills and getting your monkey on with the Yeti of your choice, licking your lips, and demanding MOAR! More fun, more pills, more booze, more of the kind of sex that leads to counseling and corrective surgery! MORE!
They won't like it, but it will be GOOD for them. We will haul them into LMNO's Big Gay Rodeo, and we shall not heed their screams, mostly because we'll be too busy...Because having a good time takes EFFORT. It takes laughing until your GUTS BLEED, it takes HORRORSEX and SLACK™, and there's really just no substitute for it.
Now get out there and shove your great nation down the tubes, just like the Pinks are always going on about.
Or Kill Me.
I NEED A BIG GAY COWBOY SAVIOR!
Quote from: Nigel on April 04, 2011, 04:50:30 PM
I NEED A BIG GAY COWBOY SAVIOR!
We ALL do. That's why we have LMNO and his fabulous posse.
Ah those velvet saddles....
I approve of this message.
/
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v711/Marburger/cowboyjesus.jpg)
So do we!
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(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v711/Marburger/ThreeRivers.jpg)
QuoteNo, if he's coming back, he's wielding a sword, so sayeth the book of Luke. So he won't be wearing an Armani suit and explaining the merits of the so-called Free Market™. He'll be doing what he did best, hanging out with sinners...Because then, as now, those filthy sinners were the only people that COULD be saved. You'll notice he didn't spend much time with the Pharisees.
:mittens: Hell yes!
RAH!
The people cried out for saving, for protection, for heroes.
Apparently they couldn't be arsed to save their own arse, and got lectures about "sensitivity" and "tolerance" instead.
The going was tough, and nobody was tough enough to be weird.
Except for those buckskin boys who'd ride out of the sunset! All buckskin and fringe with spurs a jangling. Freshly waxed and lubed from the gym. John Wayne Bear in a bomber hat and a box harness, Yul Bryner bald and beautiful.
The Good, the Bad, and the Fabulous.
Ready to take back the west for a few dongs more!
Quote from: Richter on April 04, 2011, 05:36:25 PM
The going was tough, and nobody was tough enough to be weird.
:potd:
:mittens:
Phox,
Wants to apply to be a Small Gay Cowboy. :)
Quote from: Doktor Phox on April 04, 2011, 07:30:59 PM
:mittens:
Phox,
Wants to apply to be a Small Gay Cowboy. :)
Contradiction in terms. When you become a Gay Cowboy, you automatically become 10 feet tall.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 04, 2011, 07:31:47 PM
Quote from: Doktor Phox on April 04, 2011, 07:30:59 PM
:mittens:
Phox,
Wants to apply to be a Small Gay Cowboy. :)
Contradiction in terms. When you become a Gay Cowboy, you automatically become 10 feet tall.
Oh well, then, Big Gay Cowboy it is. Should I apply directly to LMNO, or is there some other process I need to go through first?
Quote from: Doktor Phox on April 04, 2011, 07:34:01 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 04, 2011, 07:31:47 PM
Quote from: Doktor Phox on April 04, 2011, 07:30:59 PM
:mittens:
Phox,
Wants to apply to be a Small Gay Cowboy. :)
Contradiction in terms. When you become a Gay Cowboy, you automatically become 10 feet tall.
Oh well, then, Big Gay Cowboy it is. Should I apply directly to LMNO, or is there some other process I need to go through first?
There's no application process. Simply by wanting it, you BE it. Tips on STYLE, though, should definitely come from LMNO, should you need them.
Fuck yeah, that makes it easy.
Phox,
Big Gay Cowboy.
:lulz:
:mittens:
This is great!!
Bump for use elsewhere.