Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2011, 07:12:58 PM

Title: A few notes on the whole "broken-hearted" thing.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2011, 07:12:58 PM
Driving 90 MPH, right at that bridge, cause that bridge has been singing to you all week, yeah, that's the ticket, swerve at the last minute, while your FBF throws your ex's shit out the back window, and watching his shirts spiral over the side in the rear view mirror...

Or maybe you're stinking drunk and reeking of cigarettes, while you blast
Bad Romance into your ear buds, while you fire up the cutting torch and lay waste to the legs of the municipal water tower, shouting "FUCK YOU, KAI!"...

Laying on the couch, fixin' to die, because those blues, those blues never fade away...

Maybe out at the club, looking HOT AS HELL, hoping he'll come by and see you in that dress, just to watch him suck his jeans up his ass, while you toy with some pleasant-faced young lad who
thinks he knows the deal...

Brawling in the gutter with some skinnybitch who decided that tonight was the correct night to fuck with you, and she just got a pile of broken heart right through her broken face...

Shamelessly flirting with the cop who pulled you over for hanging your bare ass out the car window screaming "I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!"...

Fat 50-something OKCupid men smoking stale cigars, grinning over the table, asking if you'd mind letting them jam their finger in your ear because, you know, that's hot, or cracking jokes about the "fags" in the bar, maybe with a last lingering particles of cocaine still lodged in their ridiculous mustaches (Who the hell do you think you are?  LMNO?), yes, fucker, you're gonna PAY...


Why the hell not?  Why not lose your shit, scream your anger and pain out at the world?  11/12ths of them deserve it, and all ex-SOs should be dumped in the landfill with all the other trash, anyway.  Beats sitting around feeling sorry for yourself, or letting the hatred (or just plain old pain) seethe with no outlet.

Remember what Connie Dobbs said, "Behind every great man, there's a woman with an enormous strap-on."  Well, we in The Church™ have to ask, "Why limit it to great men?".  Indeed, for the duration of your heartbreak, every man in your zip code should live in fear, and caulk their asses shut with high-temp RTV every morning.  Let your Yeti howl, and let the humans beware.

Or Kill Me.
Title: Re: A few notes on the whole "broken-hearted" thing.
Post by: Luna on April 06, 2011, 07:20:32 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2011, 07:12:58 PM
Laying on the couch, fixin' to die, because those blues, those blues never fade away...

Fuck that shit, Rev.  They do fade, you just have to drown 'em out with good jazz.

QuoteWhy the hell not?  Why not lose your shit, scream your anger and pain out at the world?  11/12ths of them deserve it, and all ex-SOs should be dumped in the landfill with all the other trash, anyway.  Beats sitting around feeling sorry for yourself, or letting the hatred (or just plain old pain) seethe with no outlet.

Why not?  Because he doesn't deserve it.

He never deserved my love.  He never deserved my faith.  He never deserved my trust.  And now, he doesn't deserve my hate, or my rage.

He's nothing. 
Title: Re: A few notes on the whole "broken-hearted" thing.
Post by: Freeky on April 06, 2011, 07:21:10 PM
:mittens:  This is so full of win.
Title: Re: A few notes on the whole "broken-hearted" thing.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2011, 07:21:46 PM
Quote from: Luna on April 06, 2011, 07:20:32 PM
good jazz.

Oxymoron.
Title: Re: A few notes on the whole "broken-hearted" thing.
Post by: Luna on April 06, 2011, 07:24:51 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2011, 07:21:46 PM
Quote from: Luna on April 06, 2011, 07:20:32 PM
good jazz.

Oxymoron.

Matter of taste.  Jazz isn't my favorite music style, either, but it fit my mood as I was typing.
Title: Re: A few notes on the whole "broken-hearted" thing.
Post by: Richter on April 06, 2011, 07:30:58 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2011, 07:12:58 PM
Driving 90 MPH, right at that bridge, cause that bridge has been singing to you all week, yeah, that's the ticket, swerve at the last minute, while your FBF throws your ex's shit out the back window, and watching his shirts spiral over the side in the rear view mirror...

Or maybe you're stinking drunk and reeking of cigarettes, while you blast
Bad Romance into your ear buds, while you fire up the cutting torch and lay waste to the legs of the municipal water tower, shouting "FUCK YOU, KAI!"...

Laying on the couch, fixin' to die, because those blues, those blues never fade away...

Maybe out at the club, looking HOT AS HELL, hoping he'll come by and see you in that dress, just to watch him suck his jeans up his ass, while you toy with some pleasant-faced young lad who
thinks he knows the deal...

Brawling in the gutter with some skinnybitch who decided that tonight was the correct night to fuck with you, and she just got a pile of broken heart right through her broken face...

Shamelessly flirting with the cop who pulled you over for hanging your bare ass out the car window screaming "I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!"...

Fat 50-something OKCupid men smoking stale cigars, grinning over the table, asking if you'd mind letting them jam their finger in your ear because, you know, that's hot, or cracking jokes about the "fags" in the bar, maybe with a last lingering particles of cocaine still lodged in their ridiculous mustaches (Who the hell do you think you are?  LMNO?), yes, fucker, you're gonna PAY...


Why the hell not?  Why not lose your shit, scream your anger and pain out at the world?  11/12ths of them deserve it, and all ex-SOs should be dumped in the landfill with all the other trash, anyway.  Beats sitting around feeling sorry for yourself, or letting the hatred (or just plain old pain) seethe with no outlet.

Remember what Connie Dobbs said, "Behind every great man, there's a woman with an enormous strap-on."  Well, we in The Church™ have to ask, "Why limit it to great men?".  Indeed, for the duration of your heartbreak, every man in your zip code should live in fear, and caulk their asses shut with high-temp RTV every morning.  Let your Yeti howl, and let the humans beware.

Or Kill Me.



RAAAAHHH!(BARRGLEASSCRAPFUCKCOUGHTCHEWSHITHELLDAMN)
Title: Re: A few notes on the whole "broken-hearted" thing.
Post by: LMNO on April 06, 2011, 07:33:06 PM
2% of my brain wants to break up with Mrs LMNO so I can do some of that.


Luckily, the other 98% beats the crap out of that part.
Title: Re: A few notes on the whole "broken-hearted" thing.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 06, 2011, 07:35:58 PM
:mittens:

This was so beautiful! And touching. Thank you Roger!
Title: Re: A few notes on the whole "broken-hearted" thing.
Post by: Luna on April 06, 2011, 07:36:59 PM
Quote from: Nigel on April 06, 2011, 07:35:58 PM
:mittens:

This was so beautiful! And touching. Thank you Roger!

It was.

I'm just done with that part, I think.

Mostly.

When I don't think about it too hard, anyway.
Title: Re: A few notes on the whole "broken-hearted" thing.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2011, 07:38:56 PM
Quote from: Nigel on April 06, 2011, 07:35:58 PM
:mittens:

This was so beautiful! And touching. Thank you Roger!

I was channeling Talufa.   :)
Title: Re: A few notes on the whole "broken-hearted" thing.
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on April 06, 2011, 07:42:54 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2011, 07:38:56 PM
Quote from: Nigel on April 06, 2011, 07:35:58 PM
:mittens:

This was so beautiful! And touching. Thank you Roger!

I was channeling Talufa.   :)

:)
Title: Re: A few notes on the whole "broken-hearted" thing.
Post by: Suu on April 06, 2011, 07:45:55 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2011, 07:21:46 PM
Quote from: Luna on April 06, 2011, 07:20:32 PM
good jazz.

Oxymoron.

Bullshit.
Title: Re: A few notes on the whole "broken-hearted" thing.
Post by: Phox on April 06, 2011, 07:47:22 PM
Roger wins yet another internetz. He should donate them to a third-world hell-hole. Like Detroit.  :lulz:
Title: Re: A few notes on the whole "broken-hearted" thing.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2011, 07:47:47 PM
Quote from: Suu the Infallible on April 06, 2011, 07:45:55 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2011, 07:21:46 PM
Quote from: Luna on April 06, 2011, 07:20:32 PM
good jazz.

Oxymoron.

Bullshit.

Jazz is four different people playing four different songs in the same room at the same time.  It is absolute garbage, with the only exceptions being Ella Fitzgerald and Scatman John, and neither one of them really qualifies as "jazz" anymore.
Title: Re: A few notes on the whole "broken-hearted" thing.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2011, 07:48:10 PM
Quote from: Doktor Phox on April 06, 2011, 07:47:22 PM
Roger wins yet another internetz. He should donate them to a third-world hell-hole. Like Detroit.  :lulz:

Or Phoenix.
Title: Re: A few notes on the whole "broken-hearted" thing.
Post by: Freeky on April 06, 2011, 07:49:39 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2011, 07:48:10 PM
Quote from: Doktor Phox on April 06, 2011, 07:47:22 PM
Roger wins yet another internetz. He should donate them to a third-world hell-hole. Like Detroit.  :lulz:

Or Phoenix.

Phoenix isn't even a third world hell-hole.  It's just Hell.
Title: Re: A few notes on the whole "broken-hearted" thing.
Post by: Suu on April 06, 2011, 07:51:57 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2011, 07:47:47 PM
Quote from: Suu the Infallible on April 06, 2011, 07:45:55 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2011, 07:21:46 PM
Quote from: Luna on April 06, 2011, 07:20:32 PM
good jazz.

Oxymoron.

Bullshit.

Jazz is four different people playing four different songs in the same room at the same time.  It is absolute garbage, with the only exceptions being Ella Fitzgerald and Scatman John, and neither one of them really qualifies as "jazz" anymore.

I was going to use Ella Fitzgerald as my example. I meant THAT jazz, REAL jazz, not Kenny G.
Title: Re: A few notes on the whole "broken-hearted" thing.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2011, 07:53:20 PM
Quote from: Suu the Infallible on April 06, 2011, 07:51:57 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2011, 07:47:47 PM
Quote from: Suu the Infallible on April 06, 2011, 07:45:55 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2011, 07:21:46 PM
Quote from: Luna on April 06, 2011, 07:20:32 PM
good jazz.

Oxymoron.

Bullshit.

Jazz is four different people playing four different songs in the same room at the same time.  It is absolute garbage, with the only exceptions being Ella Fitzgerald and Scatman John, and neither one of them really qualifies as "jazz" anymore.

I was going to use Ella Fitzgerald as my example. I meant THAT jazz, REAL jazz, not Kenny G.

They shut down the factory that makes that shit in 1950.  Scatman John is still going, but it's only a matter of time til they run him down like a dog.
Title: Re: A few notes on the whole "broken-hearted" thing.
Post by: ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞ on April 06, 2011, 08:00:09 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2011, 07:47:47 PM
Quote from: Suu the Infallible on April 06, 2011, 07:45:55 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2011, 07:21:46 PM
Quote from: Luna on April 06, 2011, 07:20:32 PM
good jazz.

Oxymoron.

Bullshit.

Jazz is four different people playing four different songs in the same room at the same time.  It is absolute garbage, with the only exceptions being Ella Fitzgerald and Scatman John, and neither one of them really qualifies as "jazz" anymore.

That's what most people say who have never been able to teleport to Saturn.
Title: Re: A few notes on the whole "broken-hearted" thing.
Post by: LMNO on April 06, 2011, 08:00:43 PM
^^Nice reference^^
Title: Re: A few notes on the whole "broken-hearted" thing.
Post by: Suu on April 06, 2011, 08:02:11 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2011, 07:53:20 PM
Quote from: Suu the Infallible on April 06, 2011, 07:51:57 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2011, 07:47:47 PM
Quote from: Suu the Infallible on April 06, 2011, 07:45:55 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2011, 07:21:46 PM
Quote from: Luna on April 06, 2011, 07:20:32 PM
good jazz.

Oxymoron.

Bullshit.

Jazz is four different people playing four different songs in the same room at the same time.  It is absolute garbage, with the only exceptions being Ella Fitzgerald and Scatman John, and neither one of them really qualifies as "jazz" anymore.

I was going to use Ella Fitzgerald as my example. I meant THAT jazz, REAL jazz, not Kenny G.

They shut down the factory that makes that shit in 1950.  Scatman John is still going, but it's only a matter of time til they run him down like a dog.

Billie Holiday lived the jazz life. She started poor, got insanely rich, did a lot of drugs, drank too much hooch, and died poor of an overdose surrounded by cops indicted possession with 75 cents in the bank.

Now THAT'S jazz.
Title: Re: A few notes on the whole "broken-hearted" thing.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2011, 08:04:57 PM
Quote from: Suu the Infallible on April 06, 2011, 08:02:11 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2011, 07:53:20 PM
Quote from: Suu the Infallible on April 06, 2011, 07:51:57 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2011, 07:47:47 PM
Quote from: Suu the Infallible on April 06, 2011, 07:45:55 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2011, 07:21:46 PM
Quote from: Luna on April 06, 2011, 07:20:32 PM
good jazz.

Oxymoron.

Bullshit.

Jazz is four different people playing four different songs in the same room at the same time.  It is absolute garbage, with the only exceptions being Ella Fitzgerald and Scatman John, and neither one of them really qualifies as "jazz" anymore.

I was going to use Ella Fitzgerald as my example. I meant THAT jazz, REAL jazz, not Kenny G.

They shut down the factory that makes that shit in 1950.  Scatman John is still going, but it's only a matter of time til they run him down like a dog.

Billie Holiday lived the jazz life. She started poor, got insanely rich, did a lot of drugs, drank too much hooch, and died poor of an overdose surrounded by cops indicted possession with 75 cents in the bank.

Now THAT'S jazz.

No, that's rock n roll.  REAL rock n roll, mind you.

I'd say it was blues, but blues singers always live to be 300 years old.
Title: Re: A few notes on the whole "broken-hearted" thing.
Post by: Suu on April 06, 2011, 08:08:36 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2011, 08:04:57 PM
Quote from: Suu the Infallible on April 06, 2011, 08:02:11 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2011, 07:53:20 PM
Quote from: Suu the Infallible on April 06, 2011, 07:51:57 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2011, 07:47:47 PM
Quote from: Suu the Infallible on April 06, 2011, 07:45:55 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2011, 07:21:46 PM
Quote from: Luna on April 06, 2011, 07:20:32 PM
good jazz.

Oxymoron.

Bullshit.

Jazz is four different people playing four different songs in the same room at the same time.  It is absolute garbage, with the only exceptions being Ella Fitzgerald and Scatman John, and neither one of them really qualifies as "jazz" anymore.

I was going to use Ella Fitzgerald as my example. I meant THAT jazz, REAL jazz, not Kenny G.

They shut down the factory that makes that shit in 1950.  Scatman John is still going, but it's only a matter of time til they run him down like a dog.

Billie Holiday lived the jazz life. She started poor, got insanely rich, did a lot of drugs, drank too much hooch, and died poor of an overdose surrounded by cops indicted possession with 75 cents in the bank.

Now THAT'S jazz.

No, that's rock n roll.  REAL rock n roll, mind you.

I'd say it was blues, but blues singers always live to be 300 years old.

Yes, but jazz was what rock and roll was before there was actually rock and roll.

It's the same phenomenon for a different generation.
Title: Re: A few notes on the whole "broken-hearted" thing.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on April 07, 2011, 01:06:03 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2011, 07:47:47 PM
Quote from: Suu the Infallible on April 06, 2011, 07:45:55 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2011, 07:21:46 PM
Quote from: Luna on April 06, 2011, 07:20:32 PM
good jazz.

Oxymoron.

Bullshit.

Jazz is four different people playing four different songs in the same room at the same time.  It is absolute garbage, with the only exceptions being Ella Fitzgerald and Scatman John, and neither one of them really qualifies as "jazz" anymore.

Oh GAWD. SO MUCH THIS.

Jazz is what the Grateful Dead would have played if they had done more meth.
Title: Re: A few notes on the whole "broken-hearted" thing.
Post by: Adios on April 07, 2011, 04:40:00 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2011, 08:04:57 PM
Quote from: Suu the Infallible on April 06, 2011, 08:02:11 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2011, 07:53:20 PM
Quote from: Suu the Infallible on April 06, 2011, 07:51:57 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2011, 07:47:47 PM
Quote from: Suu the Infallible on April 06, 2011, 07:45:55 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2011, 07:21:46 PM
Quote from: Luna on April 06, 2011, 07:20:32 PM
good jazz.

Oxymoron.

Bullshit.

Jazz is four different people playing four different songs in the same room at the same time.  It is absolute garbage, with the only exceptions being Ella Fitzgerald and Scatman John, and neither one of them really qualifies as "jazz" anymore.

I was going to use Ella Fitzgerald as my example. I meant THAT jazz, REAL jazz, not Kenny G.

They shut down the factory that makes that shit in 1950.  Scatman John is still going, but it's only a matter of time til they run him down like a dog.

Billie Holiday lived the jazz life. She started poor, got insanely rich, did a lot of drugs, drank too much hooch, and died poor of an overdose surrounded by cops indicted possession with 75 cents in the bank.

Now THAT'S jazz.

No, that's rock n roll.  REAL rock n roll, mind you.

I'd say it was blues, but blues singers always live to be 300 years old.

It's Dixieland or Memphis Blues.
Title: Re: A few notes on the whole "broken-hearted" thing.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 07, 2011, 05:28:26 PM
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on April 07, 2011, 01:06:03 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2011, 07:47:47 PM
Quote from: Suu the Infallible on April 06, 2011, 07:45:55 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2011, 07:21:46 PM
Quote from: Luna on April 06, 2011, 07:20:32 PM
good jazz.

Oxymoron.

Bullshit.

Jazz is four different people playing four different songs in the same room at the same time.  It is absolute garbage, with the only exceptions being Ella Fitzgerald and Scatman John, and neither one of them really qualifies as "jazz" anymore.

Oh GAWD. SO MUCH THIS.

Jazz is what the Grateful Dead would have played if they had done more meth.

:lulz:
Title: Re: A few notes on the whole "broken-hearted" thing.
Post by: LMNO on April 07, 2011, 06:31:22 PM
Oh, man.  You guys would be either amused or horrified at what I keep by my turntable...

Coleman Hawkins
John Coltrane
Miles Davis
Dexter Gordon
Duke Ellington
Roy Eldrige
Title: Re: A few notes on the whole "broken-hearted" thing.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 07, 2011, 06:33:04 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on April 07, 2011, 06:31:22 PM
Oh, man.  You guys would be either amused or horrified at what I keep by my turntable...

Coleman Hawkins
John Coltrane
Miles Davis
Dexter Gordon
Duke Ellington
Roy Eldrige


None of this is any good with respect to the OP.  This is why we have Roy Orbison, Hank Sr, and Keith Heatherly.  And bourbon.
Title: Re: A few notes on the whole "broken-hearted" thing.
Post by: LMNO on April 07, 2011, 06:36:01 PM
Yes, this is true.  Threadjack about jazz aside, I also have plenty of Willie, George, Johhny, Hank, and Nina around.
Title: Re: A few notes on the whole "broken-hearted" thing.
Post by: Adios on April 07, 2011, 06:36:49 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on April 07, 2011, 06:31:22 PM
Oh, man.  You guys would be either amused or horrified at what I keep by my turntable...

Coleman Hawkins
John Coltrane
Miles Davis
Dexter Gordon
Duke Ellington
Roy Eldrige


Add Ella Fitzgerald, Sachmo and Pete Fontaine and I'm there.
Title: Re: A few notes on the whole "broken-hearted" thing.
Post by: Adios on April 07, 2011, 06:39:05 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 07, 2011, 06:33:04 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on April 07, 2011, 06:31:22 PM
Oh, man.  You guys would be either amused or horrified at what I keep by my turntable...

Coleman Hawkins
John Coltrane
Miles Davis
Dexter Gordon
Duke Ellington
Roy Eldrige


None of this is any good with respect to the OP.  This is why we have Roy Orbison, Hank Sr, and Keith Heatherly.  And bourbon.

Marty Robbins belongs with this bunch.