Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: Iason Ouabache on April 07, 2011, 07:06:29 AM

Title: RWHN: Explain Your Fucked Up State!
Post by: Iason Ouabache on April 07, 2011, 07:06:29 AM
http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/04/06/us-maine-switchblades-idUSTRE7356EP20110406

QuoteMaine lawmakers on Wednesday approved legalizing switchblades for people with one arm, moving close to becoming the first state to make such an exception to laws that ban use of the spring-action knives.

Backers of the measure say legalizing switchblades would eliminate a need for one-armed people to be forced to open folding knives with their teeth in emergencies.

The bill to allow amputees and other one-armed people to carry the quick-opening knives cleared Maine's Senate on Wednesday after passing the House on Tuesday, Senate officials said.

Until now, Maine banned the use of switchblades by anyone.

In most states, carrying switchblades is illegal in most circumstances, though owning the knives may be allowed in some states.

Federal law allows their use by a person with one arm only on federal property if the blade is shorter than three inches.

The Maine bill requires that the knives have a blade that is three inches or shorter.

Governor Paul LePage is expected to sign the measure into law in the next couple of days, said spokeswoman Adrienne Bennett.

Is there an epidemic of one-armed people who need knives in Maine? Have people been cutting their own arms off to use as lobstah bait? Are these people in emergency situations so often that the government of Maine had to drop everything at once and change the law? WTF, RWHN? WTF?
Title: Re: RWHN: Explain Your Fucked Up State!
Post by: Don Coyote on April 07, 2011, 07:09:33 AM
Now, while I disapprove of the bans against switchblades and other spring assist knives....that reasoning is stupid. There are plenty of non-assisted knives that can be open with one hand.
Title: Re: RWHN: Explain Your Fucked Up State!
Post by: Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on April 07, 2011, 07:16:10 AM
i have a knife that is very easily opened with one hand, but closing it is another issue :\
Title: Re: RWHN: Explain Your Fucked Up State!
Post by: Iason Ouabache on April 07, 2011, 07:16:17 AM
Also, do we need to start a charity to send switchblades to one-armed people and hobos?
Title: Re: RWHN: Explain Your Fucked Up State!
Post by: Don Coyote on April 07, 2011, 07:18:14 AM
Quote from: The Fred ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on April 07, 2011, 07:16:10 AM
i have a knife that is very easily opened with one hand, but closing it is another issue :\

I scare people at work with my non-assisted knife. Almost everyone in my unit that carries a knife has some kind of large spring assist. Closing with one hand take practice. And bandaids.


Quote from: Iason Ouabache on April 07, 2011, 07:16:17 AM
Also, do we need to start a charity to send switchblades to one-armed people and hobos?

YES!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: RWHN: Explain Your Fucked Up State!
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 07, 2011, 07:21:57 AM
I kind of love this.
Title: Re: RWHN: Explain Your Fucked Up State!
Post by: Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on April 07, 2011, 07:22:57 AM
Quote from: Donald Coyote on April 07, 2011, 07:18:14 AM
Quote from: The Fred ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on April 07, 2011, 07:16:10 AM
i have a knife that is very easily opened with one hand, but closing it is another issue :\

I scare people at work with my non-assisted knife. Almost everyone in my unit that carries a knife has some kind of large spring assist. Closing with one hand take practice. And bandaids.


mine locks in place and i have to hold down this one thing and move this other thing sideways while i close it
Title: Re: RWHN: Explain Your Fucked Up State!
Post by: Don Coyote on April 07, 2011, 07:25:06 AM
Quote from: The Fred ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on April 07, 2011, 07:22:57 AM
Quote from: Donald Coyote on April 07, 2011, 07:18:14 AM
Quote from: The Fred ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on April 07, 2011, 07:16:10 AM
i have a knife that is very easily opened with one hand, but closing it is another issue :\

I scare people at work with my non-assisted knife. Almost everyone in my unit that carries a knife has some kind of large spring assist. Closing with one hand take practice. And bandaids.


mine locks in place and i have to hold down this one thing and move this other thing sideways while i close it

Is it a springy piece of metal in the front of the handle or a bar on the back of the handle?
Title: Re: RWHN: Explain Your Fucked Up State!
Post by: Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on April 07, 2011, 07:26:33 AM
HA i did it one handed!

no its a lever on one side and a big piece of metal under the blade to lock it in place that needs shoved sideways
Title: Re: RWHN: Explain Your Fucked Up State!
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 07, 2011, 07:29:10 AM
I have the most beautiful knife that's a Ken Onion/Benchmade collab, that snaps open with a flick like a lovely monster.
Title: Re: RWHN: Explain Your Fucked Up State!
Post by: Don Coyote on April 07, 2011, 07:33:06 AM
Quote from: The Fred ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on April 07, 2011, 07:26:33 AM
HA i did it one handed!

no its a lever on one side and a big piece of metal under the blade to lock it in place that needs shoved sideways
:lulz:

YAY

Quote from: Nigel on April 07, 2011, 07:29:10 AM
I have the most beautiful knife that's a Ken Onion/Benchmade collab, that snaps open with a flick like a lovely monster.

Benchmade is my favorite kinfe company. My longest lasting everyday knife is a Benchmade mini-griptillian , and my current is a Benchmade min-griptillian . Worth every penny.
Title: Re: RWHN: Explain Your Fucked Up State!
Post by: AFK on April 07, 2011, 01:28:52 PM
Dear Iason,

Maine has gone mental.  I don't know when it happened, but someone must of switched on some crazy Mad Scientist brain ray that fucked everyone up.  People have seemingly gone bonkers.  And then they elected LePage.  A guy who's biggest accomplishment was running a chain of stores that sold junk.  No really, salvage, chapter 11, and expired breakfast cereals.  They're basically glorified, high-priced yard sales.  Oh, yeah, and he was the Mayor of Waterville, another check in the "con" column. 

The guy was swept in under the same guise that all of these other GOP nutjobs were voted in.  To fix the economy and bring jobs to the state.  So, what has he done?  What has he and his GOPers spent their time on?  Lifting the ban on BPA, rolling back safety standards, rolling back seat belt laws, fighting with Pennsylvania over who gets to have the goddamn whoopie pie as the official state treat, and now legalizing switchblade for one-armed people. 

Oh, and then there is the big controversy right now concerning a mural that was in the Maine Dept. of Labor.  It depicted the history of the labor movement in Maine over the past decades.  LePage would ultimately like to do a Scott Walker in Maine, but knows he could never get that passed.  So, instead, he does this passive aggressive bullshit and pulls the mural in the dark of night.  No, seriously, he put out a proposal to pull the mural.  And while it was still being debated, he actually had it yanked overnight and put into some undisclosed location in Augusta. 

None of this shit has created any jobs, and instead, is probably scaring away tourists.  It's gotten so bad, that 8 GOP State Senators took out an op-ed over the weekend and took him to the woodshed. 

Anyway, if anyone is smart, they'll stay the fuck away from this State for the next two years.  Hopefully, the 2012 elections bring back a little sanity. 
Title: Re: RWHN: Explain Your Fucked Up State!
Post by: Eater of Clowns on April 07, 2011, 02:09:31 PM
Quote from: Donald Coyote on April 07, 2011, 07:33:06 AM
Quote from: The Fred ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on April 07, 2011, 07:26:33 AM
HA i did it one handed!

no its a lever on one side and a big piece of metal under the blade to lock it in place that needs shoved sideways
:lulz:

YAY

Quote from: Nigel on April 07, 2011, 07:29:10 AM
I have the most beautiful knife that's a Ken Onion/Benchmade collab, that snaps open with a flick like a lovely monster.

Benchmade is my favorite kinfe company. My longest lasting everyday knife is a Benchmade mini-griptillian , and my current is a Benchmade min-griptillian . Worth every penny.

Definitely.  I bought the 910 Stryker on my 17th birthday.  I've carried it just about daily since then, and it's still in phenomenal shape.
Title: Re: RWHN: Explain Your Fucked Up State!
Post by: Suu on April 07, 2011, 02:21:09 PM
This is quite possibly the most amazing law ever passed.
Title: Re: RWHN: Explain Your Fucked Up State!
Post by: LMNO on April 07, 2011, 02:26:37 PM
Maine: The way life should be.  Or I'll slice your face.
Title: Re: RWHN: Explain Your Fucked Up State!
Post by: AFK on April 07, 2011, 02:34:55 PM
I can see the bulletins now when one of these guys goes nuts:

"Be on the lookout for this man.  He is un-armed and dangerous!"

:rimshot:

RWHN,
I gotta be me. 
Title: Re: RWHN: Explain Your Fucked Up State!
Post by: Richter on April 07, 2011, 03:05:24 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on April 07, 2011, 02:09:31 PM
Quote from: Donald Coyote on April 07, 2011, 07:33:06 AM
Quote from: The Fred ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on April 07, 2011, 07:26:33 AM
HA i did it one handed!

no its a lever on one side and a big piece of metal under the blade to lock it in place that needs shoved sideways
:lulz:

YAY

Quote from: Nigel on April 07, 2011, 07:29:10 AM
I have the most beautiful knife that's a Ken Onion/Benchmade collab, that snaps open with a flick like a lovely monster.

Benchmade is my favorite kinfe company. My longest lasting everyday knife is a Benchmade mini-griptillian , and my current is a Benchmade min-griptillian . Worth every penny.

Definitely.  I bought the 910 Stryker on my 17th birthday.  I've carried it just about daily since then, and it's still in phenomenal shape.

I've got a few of theirs too.  Also some folding knives built to snag and open on pocket corners or straps, made by spyderco and emerson. 

This same topic turned into a shitshow on Facebook, and I still don't see how banning any tool prevents crime. 
Title: Re: RWHN: Explain Your Fucked Up State!
Post by: Luna on April 07, 2011, 03:10:56 PM
Quote from: Richter on April 07, 2011, 03:05:24 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on April 07, 2011, 02:09:31 PM
Quote from: Donald Coyote on April 07, 2011, 07:33:06 AM
Quote from: The Fred ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on April 07, 2011, 07:26:33 AM
HA i did it one handed!

no its a lever on one side and a big piece of metal under the blade to lock it in place that needs shoved sideways
:lulz:

YAY

Quote from: Nigel on April 07, 2011, 07:29:10 AM
I have the most beautiful knife that's a Ken Onion/Benchmade collab, that snaps open with a flick like a lovely monster.

Benchmade is my favorite kinfe company. My longest lasting everyday knife is a Benchmade mini-griptillian , and my current is a Benchmade min-griptillian . Worth every penny.

Definitely.  I bought the 910 Stryker on my 17th birthday.  I've carried it just about daily since then, and it's still in phenomenal shape.

I've got a few of theirs too.  Also some folding knives built to snag and open on pocket corners or straps, made by spyderco and emerson. 

This same topic turned into a shitshow on Facebook, and I still don't see how banning any tool prevents crime. 

It doesn't.  It DOES, however, provide the illusion that the government actually gives a fuck.
Title: Re: RWHN: Explain Your Fucked Up State!
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 07, 2011, 03:47:06 PM
QuoteMaine has gone mental.  I don't know when it happened, but someone must of switched on some crazy Mad Scientist brain ray that fucked everyone up.  People have seemingly gone bonkers.  And then they elected LePage.  A guy who's biggest accomplishment was running a chain of stores that sold junk.  No really, salvage, chapter 11, and expired breakfast cereals.  They're basically glorified, high-priced yard sales.  Oh, yeah, and he was the Mayor of Waterville, another check in the "con" column. 

:crankey:

Clearly I fucked up by not becoming a warlord of that place when I had the chance. And by "chance" I mean I was born there and I don't think I was there for more than a year of my life, but still.
Title: Re: RWHN: Explain Your Fucked Up State!
Post by: AFK on April 07, 2011, 03:49:30 PM
IT'S NEVER TOO LATE!!!!
Title: Re: RWHN: Explain Your Fucked Up State!
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 07, 2011, 03:58:08 PM
Shit, I am NOT well prepared for a takeover of a Maine town. I can claim birthright, but from what I understand I will need to acquire a few things before I can command respect from the local variety of, uh, local.

Pickup truck, minimum one firearm, a bigger folding knife, fishing and hunting license... What else?
Title: Re: RWHN: Explain Your Fucked Up State!
Post by: LMNO on April 07, 2011, 04:02:54 PM
Meth lab in the back yard?
Title: Re: RWHN: Explain Your Fucked Up State!
Post by: Luna on April 07, 2011, 04:07:23 PM
We could knock out a couple teeth, that might help...
Title: Re: RWHN: Explain Your Fucked Up State!
Post by: AFK on April 07, 2011, 04:10:36 PM
Quote from: Cainad on April 07, 2011, 03:58:08 PM
Shit, I am NOT well prepared for a takeover of a Maine town. I can claim birthright, but from what I understand I will need to acquire a few things before I can command respect from the local variety of, uh, local.

Pickup truck, minimum one firearm, a bigger folding knife, fishing and hunting license... What else?

You have to have at least one busted vehicle somewhere on your property.  Bonus points if it is up on cinder blocks or overgrown with weeds. 
Title: Re: RWHN: Explain Your Fucked Up State!
Post by: Luna on April 07, 2011, 04:19:56 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on April 07, 2011, 04:10:36 PM
Quote from: Cainad on April 07, 2011, 03:58:08 PM
Shit, I am NOT well prepared for a takeover of a Maine town. I can claim birthright, but from what I understand I will need to acquire a few things before I can command respect from the local variety of, uh, local.

Pickup truck, minimum one firearm, a bigger folding knife, fishing and hunting license... What else?

You have to have at least one busted vehicle somewhere on your property.  Bonus points if it is up on cinder blocks or overgrown with weeds. 

Can you pull the tires off to use as planters?  With or without silver spray paint?
Title: Re: RWHN: Explain Your Fucked Up State!
Post by: AFK on April 07, 2011, 04:41:51 PM
Naw, you usually have them piled up next to the car, or in some corner of your back yard. 
Title: Re: RWHN: Explain Your Fucked Up State!
Post by: Juana on April 07, 2011, 05:03:03 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on April 07, 2011, 02:26:37 PM
Maine: The way life should be.  Or I'll slice your face.
:lulz:
Title: Re: RWHN: Explain Your Fucked Up State!
Post by: Luna on April 07, 2011, 05:13:57 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on April 07, 2011, 04:41:51 PM
Naw, you usually have them piled up next to the car, or in some corner of your back yard. 

Me?  Nah, I pile 'em up around a post and beat the shit out of them with wooden swords.  But that's not quite Maine.
Title: Re: RWHN: Explain Your Fucked Up State!
Post by: East Coast Hustle on April 07, 2011, 05:49:22 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on April 07, 2011, 04:02:54 PM
Meth lab in the back yard?

You're thinking of Missouri. There's no meth in Maine (or so little as to effectively be none), though god help us all if those freaks ever discover the stuff.
Title: Re: RWHN: Explain Your Fucked Up State!
Post by: AFK on April 07, 2011, 07:47:45 PM
Oh, meth is here.  It's not here like it is in most of the rest of the country, but it's here. 
Title: Re: RWHN: Explain Your Fucked Up State!
Post by: East Coast Hustle on April 07, 2011, 08:07:58 PM
I've seen what passes for a methlab in Penobscot County.

You'd get stabbed if you tried to sell that shit in the Tweeker Belt. :lulz:
Title: Re: RWHN: Explain Your Fucked Up State!
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on April 07, 2011, 08:24:26 PM
Yeah we have an over abundance of the shit here.  You have to have a prescription to buy fucking sudafed these days.  Well anything with Pseudoephedrine you have to have a scrip for...

Title: Re: RWHN: Explain Your Fucked Up State!
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 07, 2011, 08:36:58 PM
One word on meth:

Oregon.

:x
Title: Re: RWHN: Explain Your Fucked Up State!
Post by: Kurt Christ on April 07, 2011, 09:56:04 PM
I, for one, support this bill wholeheartedly. Even the disabled have a constitutional right to bear arm.
Title: Re: RWHN: Explain Your Fucked Up State!
Post by: Freeky on April 07, 2011, 11:48:12 PM
 :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: