Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 12, 2011, 10:29:19 PM

Title: Little ways to entertain yourself
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 12, 2011, 10:29:19 PM
Sometimes, annoying things happen. Cram was talking about his coworker just blowing up at little things, and I suggested that perhaps he could entertain himself by blowing up similarly about other little things... really, really little things. Like the color of a chair.

In Mr. Language's apartment, the paper-thin walls allowed us to enjoy the details of his neighbors' lives, late at night when we were trying to sleep. The lady to the north liked to have intense one-sided arguments for hours, and I used to imagine her having them with her cat.

The guys to the south would stay up into the wee hours, and we heard a low hum of conversation and the clinking of glasses and bottles, punctuated by outbursts of laughter. One night, Mr. Language rolled over and said "I like to imagine that they're sitting around a little table with a ping-pong ball on it, discussing the ping-pong ball." After that, every time they started us out of sleep with their laughter, we couldn't help giggling, too.
Title: Re: Little ways to entertain yourself
Post by: Suu on April 12, 2011, 10:42:43 PM
Whenever my neighbors are playing music at a wee hour of the night, or just annoyingly loud, I plan a counterattack.

Typically the song is this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A52p9jc-gOo


Edit: Okay, maybe not quite the same, but I get entertainment out of my own ways!
Title: Re: Little ways to entertain yourself
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 12, 2011, 10:50:45 PM
Quote from: Suu the Infallible on April 12, 2011, 10:42:43 PM
Whenever my neighbors are playing music at a wee hour of the night, or just annoyingly loud, I plan a counterattack.

Typically the song is this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A52p9jc-gOo


Edit: Okay, maybe not quite the same, but I get entertainment out of my own ways!

:lulz:

That reminds me of when a bunch of little shits were blasting bad rap from their car in front of my house for an hour, and I finally got fed up and put on Carmina Burana at top volume with my front windows open.
Title: Re: Little ways to entertain yourself
Post by: Suu on April 12, 2011, 10:58:28 PM
Yeah, today I got flipped off by my rude Indian next door neighbors when I asked them not to smoke outside of my backdoor because it's a fire hazard (They're ashing on a fucking SUITCASE THAT'S BLOCKING MY DOOR.)

So...on went Hooker with a Penis, hence why I'm still blaring Aenima.

Tool will continue until the back steps are clear, assholes.
Title: Re: Little ways to entertain yourself
Post by: Slyph on April 13, 2011, 12:48:45 AM
The problem with blasting tool and stuff. is that nobody knows you're being contemptuous.

http://www.youtube.com/user/Atticus70?blend=6&ob=5 (http://www.youtube.com/user/Atticus70?blend=6&ob=5)

You should play something that there's no fucking way anyone will believe you're just "rocking out" to. Anything in this channel really. Or Calliope.

Anyway, What I do, is I pit my endurance against Jehovah's Witnesses. They're not really supposed to disengage as long as you're willing to talk to them. So keep talking. Have a lot to say. Bore the shit out of them. Filibuster them to tears.

Also a good technique to use at the dole office, if you ever find yourself unemployed. "So how did this week go?" If you tell them enough trivialities they ask you less questions.
Title: Re: Little ways to entertain yourself
Post by: Luna on April 13, 2011, 04:25:09 AM
Bagpipes.   :evil:
Title: Re: Little ways to entertain yourself
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 13, 2011, 05:01:57 AM
Quote from: Luna on April 13, 2011, 04:25:09 AM
Bagpipes.   :evil:

Seconded. I love bagpipe music but it never fails to clear the room / house / neighborhood when I let 'er rip.
Title: Re: Little ways to entertain yourself
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on April 13, 2011, 05:30:29 AM
I make flour paste and cut it into little chunks and let it dry. Then put it in plastic baggies. When I take the trash out I let it drop on the ground. Then we take bets on how fast one of the crackheads will find it and spazz.

What? It's boring in the ghetto and you can only call the number of gunshots in a night for so long before it gets old.
Title: Re: Little ways to entertain yourself
Post by: East Coast Hustle on April 13, 2011, 06:50:07 AM
Quote from: Khara on April 13, 2011, 05:30:29 AM
I make flour paste and cut it into little chunks and let it dry. Then put it in plastic baggies. When I take the trash out I let it drop on the ground. Then we take bets on how fast one of the crackheads will find it and spazz.

What? It's boring in the ghetto and you can only call the number of gunshots in a night for so long before it gets old.

Fucking awesome! :lulz:

When I lived in Belltown in Seattle (back when it was nasty before it got all yuppified), we used to hang a weighted $5 bill out the window from a fishing pole, and watch the crackheads freak out when we reeled it down the sidewalk and up into the air.
Title: Re: Little ways to entertain yourself
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on April 13, 2011, 02:10:31 PM
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on April 13, 2011, 06:50:07 AM
Quote from: Khara on April 13, 2011, 05:30:29 AM
I make flour paste and cut it into little chunks and let it dry. Then put it in plastic baggies. When I take the trash out I let it drop on the ground. Then we take bets on how fast one of the crackheads will find it and spazz.

What? It's boring in the ghetto and you can only call the number of gunshots in a night for so long before it gets old.

Fucking awesome! :lulz:

When I lived in Belltown in Seattle (back when it was nasty before it got all yuppified), we used to hang a weighted $5 bill out the window from a fishing pole, and watch the crackheads freak out when we reeled it down the sidewalk and up into the air.

Damn and I thought the dollar on a fishing line was fun, we'll have to try that in the big tree out back!!!   :lulz:
Title: Re: Little ways to entertain yourself
Post by: Richter on April 13, 2011, 02:45:23 PM
I like to say random bizzare shit to my roomie Nurse East.  She used to just get appauled, but now she's rollign with it and BS'ing right back at me.

Sometimes I pick up an odd object from my desks or shelves, and try to picture it as a spaceship.

Whenever people gripe about phallic imagery / fixation / penis envy, I challenge them to figure out the vaginal equivalent.  I have yet to receive a satisfactory answer.

I design weaponized multi purpose sewing  or weaving devices.  (The steel lucet with screwdriver and bottle opener is still one of my favorites)

I also stop looking at areas as part of a city, office, whatever, and imagine it completely empty of any people.  Like it was part of the first "Myst" game.
Title: Re: Little ways to entertain yourself
Post by: Luna on April 13, 2011, 02:46:59 PM
Quote from: Richter on April 13, 2011, 02:45:23 PM
(The steel lucet with screwdriver and bottle opener is still one of my favorites)

I need one of these!  :)  Gave my lucet away to a lady headed on deployment so she'd have something portable to work on.
Title: Re: Little ways to entertain yourself
Post by: AFK on April 13, 2011, 03:59:27 PM
I like to tell stupid jokes at staff meetings.  Of course puns are included. 
Title: Re: Little ways to entertain yourself
Post by: Telarus on April 13, 2011, 07:41:08 PM
Quote from: Khara on April 13, 2011, 02:10:31 PM
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on April 13, 2011, 06:50:07 AM
Quote from: Khara on April 13, 2011, 05:30:29 AM
I make flour paste and cut it into little chunks and let it dry. Then put it in plastic baggies. When I take the trash out I let it drop on the ground. Then we take bets on how fast one of the crackheads will find it and spazz.

What? It's boring in the ghetto and you can only call the number of gunshots in a night for so long before it gets old.

Fucking awesome! :lulz:

When I lived in Belltown in Seattle (back when it was nasty before it got all yuppified), we used to hang a weighted $5 bill out the window from a fishing pole, and watch the crackheads freak out when we reeled it down the sidewalk and up into the air.

Damn and I thought the dollar on a fishing line was fun, we'll have to try that in the big tree out back!!!   :lulz:

Hahah. My cousin (south cal surf rat), when he was younger, would do that with peanuts and ground squirrels. I bed the crack-heads run just as fast.
Title: Re: Little ways to entertain yourself
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 14, 2011, 05:49:30 AM
I pick random words that occur often in the ordering process and ascribe a function to them. I sing a little jingle for "provalone", do a short dance if someone says "combo" . . . etc. My goal is to get them all doing something like the Macarena or Chicken Dance for a sammich.
Title: Re: Little ways to entertain yourself
Post by: Wyldkat on April 14, 2011, 07:09:06 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 14, 2011, 05:49:30 AM
I pick random words that occur often in the ordering process (at the deli) and ascribe a function to them. I sing a little jingle for "provalone", do a short dance if someone says "combo" . . . etc. It's to the point where my customers are doing it, too. My goal is to get them all doing something the Macarena or Chicken Dance for a sammich.

Training monkeys?
Title: Re: Little ways to entertain yourself
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 14, 2011, 08:39:12 AM
Quote from: Wyldkat on April 14, 2011, 07:09:06 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 14, 2011, 05:49:30 AM
I pick random words that occur often in the ordering process (at the deli) and ascribe a function to them. I sing a little jingle for "provalone", do a short dance if someone says "combo" . . . etc. It's to the point where my customers are doing it, too. My goal is to get them all doing something the Macarena or Chicken Dance for a sammich.

Training monkeys?

Monkey See, Monkey Do.  :lulz:
Title: Re: Little ways to entertain yourself
Post by: Wyldkat on April 14, 2011, 09:12:34 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 14, 2011, 08:39:12 AM
Quote from: Wyldkat on April 14, 2011, 07:09:06 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 14, 2011, 05:49:30 AM
I pick random words that occur often in the ordering process (at the deli) and ascribe a function to them. I sing a little jingle for "provalone", do a short dance if someone says "combo" . . . etc. It's to the point where my customers are doing it, too. My goal is to get them all doing something the Macarena or Chicken Dance for a sammich.

Training monkeys?

Monkey See, Monkey Do.  :lulz:

Hidden video taping to be commencing soon?  Please?  That is something I would LOVE to see...
Title: Re: Little ways to entertain yourself
Post by: LMNO on April 14, 2011, 12:56:18 PM
I entertain myself by thinking about naked people doing horrifically awesome things to each other.






Yeah, no surprise there.
Title: Re: Little ways to entertain yourself
Post by: Suu on April 14, 2011, 12:59:04 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on April 14, 2011, 12:56:18 PM
I entertain myself by thinking about naked people doing horrifically awesome things to each other.






Yeah, no surprise there.


You too?
Title: Re: Little ways to entertain yourself
Post by: Richter on April 14, 2011, 01:01:27 PM
Doesn't everybody?
Title: Re: Little ways to entertain yourself
Post by: LMNO on April 14, 2011, 01:02:54 PM
Probably.


Which power tools show up the most for you?
Title: Re: Little ways to entertain yourself
Post by: AFK on April 14, 2011, 01:07:41 PM
Does a sheet laminator count? 
Title: Re: Little ways to entertain yourself
Post by: Luna on April 14, 2011, 01:08:50 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on April 14, 2011, 01:02:54 PM
Probably.


Which power tools show up the most for you?

Disc sander.

Shut up, Luna...  (http://www.cool-smileys.com/images/2091.gif)
Title: Re: Little ways to entertain yourself
Post by: LMNO on April 14, 2011, 01:16:55 PM
Deisel-powered drill press.
Title: Re: Little ways to entertain yourself
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on April 14, 2011, 02:45:24 PM
Zip strips and a monkey wrench.


Oh wait power tools... ummm...  :oops:


I'm leaving this thread now!   :oops:
Title: Re: Little ways to entertain yourself
Post by: Richter on April 14, 2011, 02:53:52 PM
 :lulz: :lulz: :horrormirth: :fap:

1960's Milwaukee reciprocaing saw.
Title: Re: Little ways to entertain yourself
Post by: Luna on April 14, 2011, 02:58:09 PM
(Hey Roger!  Your study on thread drift...  "Entertaining yourself" to "power tools used for sex toys.")
Title: Re: Little ways to entertain yourself
Post by: LMNO on April 14, 2011, 04:29:20 PM
Quote from: Luna on April 14, 2011, 02:58:09 PM
(Hey Roger!  Your study on thread drift...  "Entertaining yourself" to "power tools used for sex toys.")

aka "The LMNO effect".
Title: Re: Little ways to entertain yourself
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 14, 2011, 09:00:12 PM
 :drama1: :lmnuendo: :ohnotache:


Bizerba SE 12LPRO slicers, predictably enough.
Title: Re: Little ways to entertain yourself
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 14, 2011, 09:01:46 PM
Quote from: Luna on April 14, 2011, 02:58:09 PM
(Hey Roger!  Your study on thread drift...  "Entertaining yourself" to "power tools used for sex toys.")

I see no thread drift.  This shit is RIGHT ON POINT.
Title: Re: Little ways to entertain yourself
Post by: E.O.T. on April 15, 2011, 12:57:59 AM
Quote from: Luna on April 13, 2011, 04:25:09 AM
Bagpipes.   :evil:

MERZBOW

          "pulse demon" at 11
Title: Re: Little ways to entertain yourself
Post by: oscilloscopter on April 15, 2011, 01:39:26 AM
Quote from: E.O.T. on April 15, 2011, 12:57:59 AM
Quote from: Luna on April 13, 2011, 04:25:09 AM
Bagpipes.   :evil:

MERZBOW

          "pulse demon" at 11

Might as well play the entire Merzbox for added irritation.

Several pummelling hours worth.
Title: Re: Little ways to entertain yourself
Post by: Slyph on April 15, 2011, 12:01:58 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwinehzJE0A (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwinehzJE0A)

If you can find a legitimate bedroom use for this fucker, you have my praise AND MY AXE
Title: Re: Little ways to entertain yourself
Post by: Slyph on April 15, 2011, 12:04:36 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_-NRhnWGZY&feature=related (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_-NRhnWGZY&feature=related)

Hmm I like the first one but with this one "no grease or oil is required"
Title: Re: Little ways to entertain yourself
Post by: oscilloscopter on April 15, 2011, 12:13:13 PM
Quote from: Slyph on April 15, 2011, 12:01:58 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwinehzJE0A (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwinehzJE0A)

If you can find a legitimate bedroom use for this fucker, you have my praise AND MY AXE

A brutally efficient abortion machine?
Title: Re: Little ways to entertain yourself
Post by: Slyph on April 15, 2011, 12:18:43 PM
Quote from: oscilloscopter on April 15, 2011, 12:13:13 PM
Quote from: Slyph on April 15, 2011, 12:01:58 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwinehzJE0A (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwinehzJE0A)

If you can find a legitimate bedroom use for this fucker, you have my praise AND MY AXE

A brutally efficient abortion machine?

Boring a gloryhole in drywall
Title: Re: Little ways to entertain yourself
Post by: oscilloscopter on April 15, 2011, 12:28:27 PM
Quote from: Slyph on April 15, 2011, 12:18:43 PM
Quote from: oscilloscopter on April 15, 2011, 12:13:13 PM
Quote from: Slyph on April 15, 2011, 12:01:58 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwinehzJE0A (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwinehzJE0A)

If you can find a legitimate bedroom use for this fucker, you have my praise AND MY AXE

A brutally efficient abortion machine?

Boring a gloryhole in drywall

My first thought was actually a cerebral bore version of a glory hole trap.
Title: Re: Little ways to entertain yourself
Post by: Succulent Plant on April 15, 2011, 05:04:44 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on April 14, 2011, 01:02:54 PM
Probably.


Which power tools show up the most for you?

Jackhammer.




About the OP, I find a cheap, easily concealed airhorn to be extremely valuable for entertainment and repelling stupid people.