Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Aneristic Illusions => Topic started by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on April 13, 2011, 03:59:57 AM

Title: BREAKING NEWS: OSAMA BIN LADEN DIED!
Post by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on April 13, 2011, 03:59:57 AM
...like 10 years ago.

Of high velocity lead poisoning.

Discuss.
Title: Re: BREAKING NEWS: OSAMA BIN LADEN DIED!
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on April 13, 2011, 04:08:58 AM
Quote from: SHIBBOLEET THE ANNIHILATOR on April 13, 2011, 03:59:57 AM
...like 10 years ago.

Nah he's living in the Hamptons doing lines and fucking virgin hookers... :lulz:
Title: Re: BREAKING NEWS: OSAMA BIN LADEN DIED!
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 13, 2011, 04:13:43 AM
Quote from: Khara on April 13, 2011, 04:08:58 AM
Quote from: SHIBBOLEET THE ANNIHILATOR on April 13, 2011, 03:59:57 AM
...like 10 years ago.

Nah he's living in the Hamptons doing lines and fucking virgin hookers... :lulz:

I coulda SWORN I saw that fucker while I was out there!
Title: Re: BREAKING NEWS: OSAMA BIN LADEN DIED!
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 13, 2011, 04:22:24 AM
Quote from: Cainad on April 13, 2011, 04:13:43 AM
Quote from: Khara on April 13, 2011, 04:08:58 AM
Quote from: SHIBBOLEET THE ANNIHILATOR on April 13, 2011, 03:59:57 AM
...like 10 years ago.

Nah he's living in the Hamptons doing lines and fucking virgin hookers... :lulz:

I coulda SWORN I saw that fucker while I was out there!

No, that was Mel Gibson.  Natural mistake, though.
Title: Re: BREAKING NEWS: OSAMA BIN LADEN DIED!
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 13, 2011, 04:59:41 AM
I thought he was living in the Bush spread in Texas getting drunk and high while floating around their pool on an alligator-shaped floatie.
Title: Re: BREAKING NEWS: OSAMA BIN LADEN DIED!
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on April 13, 2011, 05:34:32 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 13, 2011, 04:22:24 AM
Quote from: Cainad on April 13, 2011, 04:13:43 AM
Quote from: Khara on April 13, 2011, 04:08:58 AM
Quote from: SHIBBOLEET THE ANNIHILATOR on April 13, 2011, 03:59:57 AM
...like 10 years ago.

Nah he's living in the Hamptons doing lines and fucking virgin hookers... :lulz:

I coulda SWORN I saw that fucker while I was out there!

No, that was Mel Gibson.  Natural mistake, though.

:argh!: Tea out the nose!

Fuck that cracked me up the kids thought I was insane.
:lulz:
Title: Re: BREAKING NEWS: OSAMA BIN LADEN DIED!
Post by: Laughin Jude on April 13, 2011, 06:18:20 AM
That's been my working hypothesis for a long time. Dude was on dialysis how many years ago?

Al-Qaeda is now run by a dude called Ahmahtotahl Wahkjhab and has been for some time.
Title: Re: BREAKING NEWS: OSAMA BIN LADEN DIED!
Post by: AFK on April 13, 2011, 10:57:26 AM
No, no, he's just a lieutenant, the operation is really run by Ayatollah Nottodothat.
Title: Re: BREAKING NEWS: OSAMA BIN LADEN DIED!
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on April 13, 2011, 02:09:02 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on April 13, 2011, 10:57:26 AM
No, no, he's just a lieutenant, the operation is really run by Ayatollah Nottodothat.

Oh Joe's brother?  Yeah that makes sense!  :lulz:
Title: Re: BREAKING NEWS: OSAMA BIN LADEN DIED!
Post by: Cain on April 13, 2011, 05:44:17 PM
Quote from: Laughin Jude on April 13, 2011, 06:18:20 AM
That's been my working hypothesis for a long time. Dude was on dialysis how many years ago?

Yeah, according to Pervez Musharraf.

Who strikes me as a totally trustworthy and neutral source who would never claim someone is dead so that he wouldn't have to make any attempt to catch him, while his own intelligence officers set him up in safe houses in the Federally Administered Tribal Region of Pakistan, along with almost all of the Al-Qaeda high command, who were flown out of Kunduz barely a day before US strikes began in earnest.

Incidentally, guessed who OK'd those flights?  None other than Dick Cheney.  Who isn't so much an evil mastermind as someone who is duped by the least credible intelligence agency in the history of the world, who claimed they wanted to "fly personnel out" before the US stomped everything.  Apparently Dick Cheney just forget the previous 7 years of the ISI courting every Islamist with a bank account and a handgun into fighting their wars.  Tommy Franks also takes some blame though, for refusing to place any troops on the Pakistani border and letting Northern Alliance troops (who totally would never take bribes, no way) to do the heavy lifting instead.  Which is exactly how Bin Laden slipped across, by throwing wads of money at anyone in the way.
Title: Re: BREAKING NEWS: OSAMA BIN LADEN DIED!
Post by: LMNO on April 13, 2011, 05:50:09 PM
Hey, Cain's back!


I can't for the life of me understand why anyone would ever lie to the US government...  :roll:
Title: Re: BREAKING NEWS: OSAMA BIN LADEN DIED!
Post by: Laughin Jude on April 13, 2011, 07:12:27 PM
AFAIK the whole "Osama's kidneys may be in bad shape" stuff comes from multiple sources. Snopes (http://www.snopes.com/rumors/kidney.asp) thinks so, though then you get into an argument of how reliable Snopes is.

Of course we all know that the Osama bin Laden from 9/11 was actually the fifth Osama bin Laden. Whenever an old Osama bin Laden has had enough of terroristing and wants to retire, he sends all of his old followers off on suicide missions except his chosen successor, then he recruits a bunch of new terrorists and starts calling his successor Osama bin Laden in front of them. Eventually the old Osama bin Laden leaves and the new Osama bin Laden sets up shop in his place with no one the wiser.
Title: Re: BREAKING NEWS: OSAMA BIN LADEN DIED!
Post by: LMNO on April 13, 2011, 07:42:42 PM
"Good night Achmed, good work, sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning."
Title: Re: BREAKING NEWS: OSAMA BIN LADEN DIED!
Post by: Cain on April 13, 2011, 08:05:54 PM
Quote from: Laughin Jude on April 13, 2011, 07:12:27 PM
AFAIK the whole "Osama's kidneys may be in bad shape" stuff comes from multiple sources. Snopes (http://www.snopes.com/rumors/kidney.asp) thinks so, though then you get into an argument of how reliable Snopes is.

Of course we all know that the Osama bin Laden from 9/11 was actually the fifth Osama bin Laden. Whenever an old Osama bin Laden has had enough of terroristing and wants to retire, he sends all of his old followers off on suicide missions except his chosen successor, then he recruits a bunch of new terrorists and starts calling his successor Osama bin Laden in front of them. Eventually the old Osama bin Laden leaves and the new Osama bin Laden sets up shop in his place with no one the wiser.

Oh wow.  "Unnamed intelligence officers".  Well, I am certainly willing to trust the word of anonymous professional liars and disinformation specialists.

Yeah, if you're just pulling speculation out of your arse.  Unfortunately, people who deal in things like facts and who are paid to pay attention to things like intonation, pronunciation, physical characteristics, vocabulary and so on totally disagree.

Sorry, I thought I'd raise the bar to something approaching rational conversation.  I didn't realize we were having a "bullshitting on hunches" contest.
Title: Re: BREAKING NEWS: OSAMA BIN LADEN DIED!
Post by: Laughin Jude on April 13, 2011, 08:16:54 PM
No, no, obviously it's more of an internet conspiracy theory dick-wagging contest.
Title: Re: BREAKING NEWS: OSAMA BIN LADEN DIED!
Post by: Bruno on April 13, 2011, 08:47:24 PM
Quote from: Laughin Jude on April 13, 2011, 08:16:54 PM
No, no, obviously it's more of an internet conspiracy theory dick-wagging contest.

Oh, really.... um.....

Well then.




Bin Laden...

is really...  ummmmm...

Jim Henson!
Title: Re: BREAKING NEWS: OSAMA BIN LADEN DIED!
Post by: Prince Glittersnatch III on April 13, 2011, 11:40:29 PM
Quote from: - on April 13, 2011, 08:05:54 PM
Quote from: Laughin Jude on April 13, 2011, 07:12:27 PM
AFAIK the whole "Osama's kidneys may be in bad shape" stuff comes from multiple sources. Snopes (http://www.snopes.com/rumors/kidney.asp) thinks so, though then you get into an argument of how reliable Snopes is.

Of course we all know that the Osama bin Laden from 9/11 was actually the fifth Osama bin Laden. Whenever an old Osama bin Laden has had enough of terroristing and wants to retire, he sends all of his old followers off on suicide missions except his chosen successor, then he recruits a bunch of new terrorists and starts calling his successor Osama bin Laden in front of them. Eventually the old Osama bin Laden leaves and the new Osama bin Laden sets up shop in his place with no one the wiser.

Oh wow.  "Unnamed intelligence officers".  Well, I am certainly willing to trust the word of anonymous professional liars and disinformation specialists.

Yeah, if you're just pulling speculation out of your arse.  Unfortunately, people who deal in things like facts and who are paid to pay attention to things like intonation, pronunciation, physical characteristics, vocabulary and so on totally disagree.

Sorry, I thought I'd raise the bar to something approaching rational conversation.  I didn't realize we were having a "bullshitting on hunches" contest.

Cains back and handing out burns like nobodys business.
Title: Re: BREAKING NEWS: OSAMA BIN LADEN DIED!
Post by: Requia ☣ on April 13, 2011, 11:50:53 PM
Quote from: - on April 13, 2011, 05:44:17 PM
Quote from: Laughin Jude on April 13, 2011, 06:18:20 AM
That's been my working hypothesis for a long time. Dude was on dialysis how many years ago?

Yeah, according to Pervez Musharraf.

Who strikes me as a totally trustworthy and neutral source who would never claim someone is dead so that he wouldn't have to make any attempt to catch him, while his own intelligence officers set him up in safe houses in the Federally Administered Tribal Region of Pakistan, along with almost all of the Al-Qaeda high command, who were flown out of Kunduz barely a day before US strikes began in earnest.

Incidentally, guessed who OK'd those flights?  None other than Dick Cheney.  Who isn't so much an evil mastermind as someone who is duped by the least credible intelligence agency in the history of the world, who claimed they wanted to "fly personnel out" before the US stomped everything.  Apparently Dick Cheney just forget the previous 7 years of the ISI courting every Islamist with a bank account and a handgun into fighting their wars.  Tommy Franks also takes some blame though, for refusing to place any troops on the Pakistani border and letting Northern Alliance troops (who totally would never take bribes, no way) to do the heavy lifting instead.  Which is exactly how Bin Laden slipped across, by throwing wads of money at anyone in the way.

Huh, that'll teach me to believe anything the news says.
Title: Re: BREAKING NEWS: OSAMA BIN LADEN DIED!
Post by: AFK on April 14, 2011, 12:50:52 AM
Quote from: Jerry_Frankster on April 13, 2011, 08:47:24 PM
Quote from: Laughin Jude on April 13, 2011, 08:16:54 PM
No, no, obviously it's more of an internet conspiracy theory dick-wagging contest.

Oh, really.... um.....

Well then.




Bin Laden...

is really...  ummmmm...

Jim Henson!

So Bin Laden really IS a puppet master.


















Mwa ha ha ha!!!!!! 
Title: Re: BREAKING NEWS: OSAMA BIN LADEN DIED!
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 14, 2011, 01:11:15 AM
Quote from: Laughin Jude on April 13, 2011, 08:16:54 PM
No, no, obviously it's more of an internet conspiracy theory dick-wagging contest.

Oh, this'll be funny.
Title: Re: BREAKING NEWS: OSAMA BIN LADEN DIED!
Post by: Phox on April 14, 2011, 01:31:00 AM
Quote from: Nigel on April 14, 2011, 01:11:15 AM
Quote from: Laughin Jude on April 13, 2011, 08:16:54 PM
No, no, obviously it's more of an internet conspiracy theory dick-wagging contest.

Oh, this'll be funny.
:popcorn:
Title: Re: BREAKING NEWS: OSAMA BIN LADEN DIED!
Post by: Prince Glittersnatch III on April 14, 2011, 05:42:35 AM
Quote from: Laughin Jude on April 13, 2011, 08:16:54 PM
No, no, obviously it's more of an internet conspiracy theory dick-wagging contest.

Jews are responsible for: 9/11, the Holocaust, Fukashima, Chernobyl, the bank bailouts, the moon landing, MICHAEL BAY, gay marriage, defenders of marriage, every Bolshevik uprising and the fact that the line at the DMV is so damn long.

I win.
Title: Re: BREAKING NEWS: OSAMA BIN LADEN DIED!
Post by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on April 16, 2011, 10:51:42 PM
Quote from: Laughin Jude on April 13, 2011, 06:18:20 AM
That's been my working hypothesis for a long time. Dude was on dialysis how many years ago?

I heard the type of dialysis Bin Laden required was actually fairly simple and not the kind that requires the giant dialysis machine. No idea if it's bullshit or not, I never bothered to verify it.
Title: Re: BREAKING NEWS: OSAMA BIN LADEN DIED!
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on May 02, 2011, 04:55:27 PM
Quote from: Cain on April 13, 2011, 08:05:54 PM
Quote from: Laughin Jude on April 13, 2011, 07:12:27 PM
AFAIK the whole "Osama's kidneys may be in bad shape" stuff comes from multiple sources. Snopes (http://www.snopes.com/rumors/kidney.asp) thinks so, though then you get into an argument of how reliable Snopes is.

Of course we all know that the Osama bin Laden from 9/11 was actually the fifth Osama bin Laden. Whenever an old Osama bin Laden has had enough of terroristing and wants to retire, he sends all of his old followers off on suicide missions except his chosen successor, then he recruits a bunch of new terrorists and starts calling his successor Osama bin Laden in front of them. Eventually the old Osama bin Laden leaves and the new Osama bin Laden sets up shop in his place with no one the wiser.

Oh wow.  "Unnamed intelligence officers".  Well, I am certainly willing to trust the word of anonymous professional liars and disinformation specialists.

Yeah, if you're just pulling speculation out of your arse.  Unfortunately, people who deal in things like facts and who are paid to pay attention to things like intonation, pronunciation, physical characteristics, vocabulary and so on totally disagree.

Sorry, I thought I'd raise the bar to something approaching rational conversation.  I didn't realize we were having a "bullshitting on hunches" contest.

Cain, dunno if you got the reference or not, but the whole last paragraph is a play on a quote from the movie "The Princess Bride" (most quoted thing since Monty Python).  I think Laughin Jude was just trying to be funny.
Title: Re: BREAKING NEWS: OSAMA BIN LADEN DIED!
Post by: AFK on May 02, 2011, 09:13:01 PM
Quote from: R.W.H.N. on April 13, 2011, 10:57:26 AM
No, no, he's just a lieutenant, the operation is really run by Ayatollah Nottodothat.

This was a damn good joke if I do say so myself. 
Title: Re: BREAKING NEWS: OSAMA BIN LADEN DIED!
Post by: Freeky on May 02, 2011, 10:25:09 PM
 :lulz: Didn't catch that before.
Title: Re: BREAKING NEWS: OSAMA BIN LADEN DIED!
Post by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on May 03, 2011, 08:21:44 PM
Ok, so hilarious trolling aside - he's actually dead for real now, I'm told.
Title: Re: BREAKING NEWS: OSAMA BIN LADEN DIED!
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on May 03, 2011, 08:25:50 PM
I had the mansion part right......
Title: Re: BREAKING NEWS: OSAMA BIN LADEN DIED!
Post by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on May 03, 2011, 08:26:47 PM
No shit.
Title: Re: BREAKING NEWS: OSAMA BIN LADEN DIED!
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on May 03, 2011, 08:42:15 PM
Quote from: SHIBBOLEET THE ANNIHILATOR on May 03, 2011, 08:26:47 PM
No shit.

:?

I was just joking around.
Title: Re: BREAKING NEWS: OSAMA BIN LADEN DIED!
Post by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on May 03, 2011, 08:43:55 PM
Sure you were, agent Khara.
Title: Re: BREAKING NEWS: OSAMA BIN LADEN DIED!
Post by: LMNO on May 03, 2011, 08:45:13 PM
Quote from: SHIBBOLEET THE ANNIHILATOR on May 03, 2011, 08:43:55 PM
Sure you were, agent Khara.

:lol:

Khara, remember: This is SHIBBOLEET we're talking to, here.