So, I've been bored and lazy at work, and I had a little time to think...And it occurs to me that I'm on the wrong Earth. I am through the looking glass, so to speak, and I am surrounded by ridiculous shit that would make Lewis Carroll move to the other side of the bus.
First, the Goddamn furries. They're all over this town, and nothing I can say can adequately describe having a pack of people walk past you in fursuits in Tucson. It's already in the mid-90s, here, for fuck's sake. The smell is unimaginable.
I don't understand what's up with these freaks, anyway. If you aren't happy as a dumpy geek with no personal hygiene habits and no social skills, you sure as fuck aren't going to be happy as a "wunk"1. Yeah, I know they're harmless, but seeing a guy in his 30s with a tail sticking out of his pants still drives me into a fucking rage.
Second, a 40 year old man has no business in a club. Period. There's no fucking excuse. You look Goddamn ridiculous.
Third, in any sane world, I would not drive past WalMart, and see teabagger stickers on beat up cars. Sorry, I can no longer abide the notion of people making $12 an hour crying about how unfairly the rich are treated. I see no further reason to be polite to - or even acknowledge the existence of - these "people".
And there's no end to the bastards, no matter how many condoms you sell. They're fucking everywhere...I had one fucker at the gameshop babbling about how "nothing intelligent ever came out of 'that continent'" (Meaning Africa).
Please note that I am no longer the patient, caring humanitarian you have all come to know and love.
No, I mentioned that at least Egyptians can spell their protest signs correctly, and then I told him that if he said another word, I'd stomp on him until he was faxable. Unfortunately, he shut up, which was just the latest in a long string of disappointments for this year.
Fourth, in no proper universe would anime be considered "art". This may offend some of you, but the tragedy is that I can't see your your mouth get REALLY big and your eyes get REALLY small, so the effect is lost.
Fifth, the bad guys here are BORING. They all wear suits and go home at night to their wife and 1.75 children. REAL bad guys live in mountain top fortresses or underwater bases, and wear lab coats.
The last one I want to bring up right now is space flight. In what fucking dimension do we get to the moon, and then just go home? The LAST shuttle launch was this morning, and after that, there's fuck all. Plenty of robots and shit, but no spacemen. There is NO FUCKING EXCUSE for a high-tech civilization to NOT include cool shit like spacemen zipping around in those kickass rocket seats. It's a matter of style, people. Class.
The future on this world SUCKS. We got all of the rock, and none of the roll. Yeah, great, I have a fucking Ipod and two cell phones and a laptop and enough to eat...But I expect more than that. I expect space cities and flying cars and biomed applications that will give me the stamina of an ox and the brains of a rabid shrew. Hell, the furries should be able to turn into real animals with the help of biotech, so that I can call animal control on their arses, and call it a day.
Or Kill Me.
1 I am given to understand that a "wunk" is "half wolf, half skunk". This is the kind of shit I have to put up with, and apparently, that's not a legal excuse for aggravated battery. This country has no balance.
and then I told him that if he said another word, I'd stomp on him until he was faxable
:spittake:
:mittens:
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Quote from: Charley Brown on April 29, 2011, 09:04:07 PM
and then I told him that if he said another word, I'd stomp on him until he was faxable
:spittake:
:mittens:
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Oh, I am GOING to use that.
:mittens:
FUCKING RAH!!!
QuotePlease note that I am no longer the patient, caring humanitarian you have all come to know and love.
Does this mean your no longer a fairy princess?
Quote from: Thurnez Isa on April 29, 2011, 09:13:55 PM
QuotePlease note that I am no longer the patient, caring humanitarian you have all come to know and love.
Does this mean your no longer a fairy princess?
I fail to see what one has to do with the other.
Quote from: Thurnez Isa on April 29, 2011, 09:13:55 PM
QuotePlease note that I am no longer the patient, caring humanitarian you have all come to know and love.
Does this mean your no longer a fairy princess?
Apparently, you've never read the ORIGINAL fairy tales...
I fucking love you, Rog.
Quote from: Luna on April 29, 2011, 09:16:28 PM
Quote from: Thurnez Isa on April 29, 2011, 09:13:55 PM
QuotePlease note that I am no longer the patient, caring humanitarian you have all come to know and love.
Does this mean your no longer a fairy princess?
Apparently, you've never read the ORIGINAL fairy tales...
This. Faeries = evil mother fuckers.
Quote from: Khara on April 29, 2011, 09:07:51 PM
:mittens:
FUCKING RAH!!!
Yeah, I liked the entire piece, that one part just made me horse laugh.
I fear I may need to call the kind people at the Happy Tucson Center For Advanced Well Being to administer the shots to Roger again. His mask is slipping.
Quote from: Payne on April 29, 2011, 09:33:38 PM
I fear I may need to call the kind people at the Happy Tucson Center For Advanced Well Being to administer the shots to Roger again. His mask is slipping.
NO, SOMEONE HAS TO SMITE THESE RETARDS!
Quote from: Payne on April 29, 2011, 09:33:38 PM
I fear I may need to call the kind people at the Happy Tucson Center For Advanced Well Being to administer the shots to Roger again. His mask is slipping.
Can we wait until he takes down a couple of furries? I don't have any carpets in the new place, and... well...
If they are in animal suits and it's hunting season for that animal.....
.....plausible deniability????
You've just made my day, Roger.
:mittens:
This wasn't the future you guys were promised, or the one I hoped to see. Not by a fucking long shot.
"Wunk" made it for me. This creature must be Scienceable. They need to be created. Big stinky predators, trainable, and with a pre-programmed genetic hatred for Furries. If you must have mythical creatures running around in Tuscon, make sure none of them are just Human sadsacks, in Fursuits. Hunt those fuckers down with real mutants.
And just because NASA have given up on the moon, doesn't mean I'm going to stop building my "Moonladder". So don't give up, peeps. Oh no.
Furry!
(http://www.theluxuryspot.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/Hairy-Man-thumb-400x366.jpg)
O you meant..
(http://stilgherrian.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/furry_townhall_20091031_350w.jpg)
seems like you got disappointed there
Our furries, creepily, spend their time at the zoo.
:mittens:, Roger
Quote from: Hover Cat on April 30, 2011, 01:33:46 AM
Our furries, creepily, spend their time at the zoo.
:mittens:, Roger
That made my brain hurt.
The OP was AWESOME.
Quote from: BadBeast on April 30, 2011, 12:46:55 AM
"Wunk" made it for me. This creature must be Scienceable. They need to be created. Big stinky predators, trainable, and with a pre-programmed genetic hatred for Furries. If you must have mythical creatures running around in Tuscon, make sure none of them are just Human sadsacks, in Fursuits. Hunt those fuckers down with real mutants.
Why wait? Dogs go psycho when they see a person in a Halloween mask.
Just repeal the leash laws.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 29, 2011, 09:00:50 PM
The last one I want to bring up right now is space flight. In what fucking dimension do we get to the moon, and then just go home?
This. A million times, this.
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 30, 2011, 02:37:47 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on April 30, 2011, 12:46:55 AM
"Wunk" made it for me. This creature must be Scienceable. They need to be created. Big stinky predators, trainable, and with a pre-programmed genetic hatred for Furries. If you must have mythical creatures running around in Tuscon, make sure none of them are just Human sadsacks, in Fursuits. Hunt those fuckers down with real mutants.
Why wait? Dogs go psycho when they se a person in a Halloween mask.
Just repeal the leash laws.
That would be too easy. And less poetic. Furrys don't often pick Dogs to play as. They're always Wolfys, or Foxes. A Skunk /Wolf Hybrid is just the creature for the job, and it would become one more crypto for people to get all skeered about, like Choopies, Sasquatch, or Mothmen. Also, Coonverines. Awesome. (Reversible thumbs) And Grizzle Cats.
Get P.E.T.A onside, (for funding) by pledging them a Hunter/killer Mutie of their choice to hunt down Fur Coat wearing Bling Pimps.
Operation "Urban Furby Disturbia"?
Quote from: Cuddlefish on April 30, 2011, 07:16:28 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 29, 2011, 09:00:50 PM
The last one I want to bring up right now is space flight. In what fucking dimension do we get to the moon, and then just go home?
They scrapped the Moon thing because it proves the Young Earth Creationists right.
If the moon had been around a few billion years, it would be covered with a layer of cosmic dust several miles thick. That's why NASA first sent an unmanned lander that found only two or three inches of dust. And we are all familiar with pictures of Armstrong's footprints in the shallow lunar dirt.
Space dust accumulates on the surface of the moon at the rate of about one inch for every ten thousand years. Astronauts found an average of one-half inch, just about what you would expect in Six Thousand Years.
Also, the Moon is very slowly moving away from the Earth. If it were millions of years old, it would have had to start very close to the Earth, causing Ocean tides so severe it would have drowned every thing on land. Twice a day.
Mars is a viable option though, I wouldn't be surprised if N.A.S.A. were already there, preparing a bolt-hole for when it all goes tits up down here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGyeULvpQdY&feature=related
Quote from: BadBeast on April 30, 2011, 08:32:11 PM
Quote from: Cuddlefish on April 30, 2011, 07:16:28 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 29, 2011, 09:00:50 PM
The last one I want to bring up right now is space flight. In what fucking dimension do we get to the moon, and then just go home?
They scrapped the Moon thing because it proves the Young Earth Creationists right.
If the moon had been around a few billion years, it would be covered with a layer of cosmic dust several miles thick. That's why NASA first sent an unmanned lander that found only two or three inches of dust. And we are all familiar with pictures of Armstrong's footprints in the shallow lunar dirt.
Space dust accumulates on the surface of the moon at the rate of about one inch for every ten thousand years. Astronauts found an average of one-half inch, just about what you would expect in Six Thousand Years.
Also, the Moon is very slowly moving away from the Earth. If it were millions of years old, it would have had to start very close to the Earth, causing Ocean tides so severe it would have drowned every thing on land. Twice a day.
Mars is a viable option though, I wouldn't be surprised if N.A.S.A. were already there, preparing a bolt-hole for when it all goes tits up down here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGyeULvpQdY&feature=related
From the technical papers of a young earth creationist. (http://www.talkorigins.org/faqs/moon-dust.html)
QuoteThere is a recent creationist technical paper on this topic which admits that the depth of dust on the moon is concordant with the mainstream age and history of the solar system (Snelling and Rush 1993). Their abstract concludes with:
"It thus appears that the amount of meteoritic dust and meteorite debris in the lunar regolith and surface dust layer, even taking into account the postulated early intense bombardment, does not contradict the evolutionists' multi-billion year timescale (while not proving it). Unfortunately, attempted counter-responses by creationists have so far failed because of spurious arguments or faulty calculations. Thus, until new evidence is forthcoming, creationists should not continue to use the dust on the moon as evidence against an old age for the moon and the solar system."
Now quit trolling :D
Bwaaah! :x
Fursuits...
In Arizona...
In the outdoors...
:horrormirth:
You might as well just buy a walk-in microwave.
Quote from: CorbeauEtRenard on May 02, 2011, 08:38:08 PM
Fursuits...
In Arizona...
In the outdoors...
:horrormirth:
You might as well just buy a walk-in microwave.
Ugh..
Would have to peel that shit off.
Not to mention the smelllllllllll :x
Quote from: CorbeauEtRenard on May 02, 2011, 08:38:08 PM
Fursuits...
In Arizona...
In the outdoors...
:horrormirth:
You might as well just buy a walk-in microwave.
Doesn't the government already have those?
Quote from: *GrumpButt* on May 02, 2011, 08:41:21 PM
Quote from: CorbeauEtRenard on May 02, 2011, 08:38:08 PM
Fursuits...
In Arizona...
In the outdoors...
:horrormirth:
You might as well just buy a walk-in microwave.
Ugh..
Would have to peel that shit off.
Not to mention the smelllllllllll :x
Well, that particular mental image will do nicely to kill my libido for the next couple of months. :vom:
Quote from: CorbeauEtRenard on May 02, 2011, 08:38:08 PM
Fursuits...
In Arizona...
In the outdoors...
:horrormirth:
You might as well just buy a walk-in microwave.
I used to live with one of the better furries, mentioned on here once or twice as Swamp Jesus. She was really nice and smart, btw. but yeah, she wore her fursuit last halloween, and she came home all :x :x :x from heatstroke. :lol:
This is awesome. :mittens:
I've soooo been there, Rog. SO BEEN THERE! OP is spot on.
I've heard first-hand accounts about suiters nearly passing out while in an air conditioned building just from not having a constant supply of hydration.
I can't imagine the thought process that would make you want to wear one outside for more than a few minutes in the kind of weather that makes me want to stay inside all day while dressed normally.
Quote from: CorbeauEtRenard on May 02, 2011, 09:23:43 PM
I've heard first-hand accounts about suiters nearly passing out while in an air conditioned building just from not having a constant supply of hydration.
I can't imagine the thought process that would make you want to wear one outside for more than a few minutes in the kind of weather that makes me want to stay inside all day while dressed normally.
You'd think they'd have the brains to build in a water supply.
Quote from: Luna on May 02, 2011, 09:28:37 PM
Quote from: CorbeauEtRenard on May 02, 2011, 09:23:43 PM
I've heard first-hand accounts about suiters nearly passing out while in an air conditioned building just from not having a constant supply of hydration.
I can't imagine the thought process that would make you want to wear one outside for more than a few minutes in the kind of weather that makes me want to stay inside all day while dressed normally.
You'd think they'd have the brains to build in a water supply.
I think it's called natural selection.
Those animal head masks must interfere with their vision, too.
I propose they start a furry motorcycle club.
:lulz:
Wunk sounds like some furry trying to explain why he smells the way he does in a wolf fursuit in Tucson.
Wunk...
Something of a clash of symbols. The mysterious, wild, fiercely independent wolf crossed with the mammal with the most heinous cinnamon twist in the animal kingdom?
Quote from: Khara on April 29, 2011, 10:00:53 PM
If they are in animal suits and it's hunting season for that animal.....
.....plausible deniability????
One of my exes went to a hippie college in Vermont, where they advised students not to dress up as deer and go into the woods during deer season.
Which of course means some stupid kid did exactly that and got shot at some point or another. You don't make a rule unless it's already been broken.
Quote from: Doktor Blight on May 03, 2011, 02:28:29 PM
Quote from: Khara on April 29, 2011, 10:00:53 PM
If they are in animal suits and it's hunting season for that animal.....
.....plausible deniability????
One of my exes went to a hippie college in Vermont, where they advised students not to dress up as deer and go into the woods during deer season.
Which of course means some stupid kid did exactly that and got shot at some point or another. You don't make a rule unless it's already been broken.
AND..... a precedent is already set.....
Who wants to go furry hunting???
Quote from: Khara on May 03, 2011, 04:42:28 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on May 03, 2011, 02:28:29 PM
Quote from: Khara on April 29, 2011, 10:00:53 PM
If they are in animal suits and it's hunting season for that animal.....
.....plausible deniability????
One of my exes went to a hippie college in Vermont, where they advised students not to dress up as deer and go into the woods during deer season.
Which of course means some stupid kid did exactly that and got shot at some point or another. You don't make a rule unless it's already been broken.
AND..... a precedent is already set.....
Who wants to go furry hunting???
They'd be easy to skin...
Quote from: Luna on May 03, 2011, 04:44:34 PM
Quote from: Khara on May 03, 2011, 04:42:28 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on May 03, 2011, 02:28:29 PM
Quote from: Khara on April 29, 2011, 10:00:53 PM
If they are in animal suits and it's hunting season for that animal.....
.....plausible deniability????
One of my exes went to a hippie college in Vermont, where they advised students not to dress up as deer and go into the woods during deer season.
Which of course means some stupid kid did exactly that and got shot at some point or another. You don't make a rule unless it's already been broken.
AND..... a precedent is already set.....
Who wants to go furry hunting???
They'd be easy to skin...
But impossible to clean.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 03, 2011, 04:51:50 PM
Quote from: Luna on May 03, 2011, 04:44:34 PM
Quote from: Khara on May 03, 2011, 04:42:28 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on May 03, 2011, 02:28:29 PM
Quote from: Khara on April 29, 2011, 10:00:53 PM
If they are in animal suits and it's hunting season for that animal.....
.....plausible deniability????
One of my exes went to a hippie college in Vermont, where they advised students not to dress up as deer and go into the woods during deer season.
Which of course means some stupid kid did exactly that and got shot at some point or another. You don't make a rule unless it's already been broken.
AND..... a precedent is already set.....
Who wants to go furry hunting???
They'd be easy to skin...
But impossible to clean.
:lulz:
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 03, 2011, 04:51:50 PM
Quote from: Luna on May 03, 2011, 04:44:34 PM
Quote from: Khara on May 03, 2011, 04:42:28 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on May 03, 2011, 02:28:29 PM
Quote from: Khara on April 29, 2011, 10:00:53 PM
If they are in animal suits and it's hunting season for that animal.....
.....plausible deniability????
One of my exes went to a hippie college in Vermont, where they advised students not to dress up as deer and go into the woods during deer season.
Which of course means some stupid kid did exactly that and got shot at some point or another. You don't make a rule unless it's already been broken.
AND..... a precedent is already set.....
Who wants to go furry hunting???
They'd be easy to skin...
But impossible to clean.
:lulz:
Quote from: Nigel on May 03, 2011, 05:19:51 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 03, 2011, 04:51:50 PM
Quote from: Luna on May 03, 2011, 04:44:34 PM
Quote from: Khara on May 03, 2011, 04:42:28 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on May 03, 2011, 02:28:29 PM
Quote from: Khara on April 29, 2011, 10:00:53 PM
If they are in animal suits and it's hunting season for that animal.....
.....plausible deniability????
One of my exes went to a hippie college in Vermont, where they advised students not to dress up as deer and go into the woods during deer season.
Which of course means some stupid kid did exactly that and got shot at some point or another. You don't make a rule unless it's already been broken.
AND..... a precedent is already set.....
Who wants to go furry hunting???
They'd be easy to skin...
But impossible to clean.
:lulz:
It'd meet the USDA standards for pet food and hot dogs.
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on May 03, 2011, 05:40:57 PM
Quote from: Nigel on May 03, 2011, 05:19:51 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 03, 2011, 04:51:50 PM
Quote from: Luna on May 03, 2011, 04:44:34 PM
Quote from: Khara on May 03, 2011, 04:42:28 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on May 03, 2011, 02:28:29 PM
Quote from: Khara on April 29, 2011, 10:00:53 PM
If they are in animal suits and it's hunting season for that animal.....
.....plausible deniability????
One of my exes went to a hippie college in Vermont, where they advised students not to dress up as deer and go into the woods during deer season.
Which of course means some stupid kid did exactly that and got shot at some point or another. You don't make a rule unless it's already been broken.
AND..... a precedent is already set.....
Who wants to go furry hunting???
They'd be easy to skin...
But impossible to clean.
:lulz:
It'd meet the USDA standards for pet food and hot dogs.
You'd never get that smell offa your hands though. :horrormirth:
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on May 03, 2011, 05:40:57 PM
Quote from: Nigel on May 03, 2011, 05:19:51 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 03, 2011, 04:51:50 PM
Quote from: Luna on May 03, 2011, 04:44:34 PM
Quote from: Khara on May 03, 2011, 04:42:28 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on May 03, 2011, 02:28:29 PM
Quote from: Khara on April 29, 2011, 10:00:53 PM
If they are in animal suits and it's hunting season for that animal.....
.....plausible deniability????
One of my exes went to a hippie college in Vermont, where they advised students not to dress up as deer and go into the woods during deer season.
Which of course means some stupid kid did exactly that and got shot at some point or another. You don't make a rule unless it's already been broken.
AND..... a precedent is already set.....
Who wants to go furry hunting???
They'd be easy to skin...
But impossible to clean.
:lulz:
It'd meet the USDA standards for pet food and hot dogs.
Nope. They're 40% BO and 60% plastic rebel. Too much melamine.
Melamine is fire-retardant, isn't it?
DAMMIT. :argh!:
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on May 03, 2011, 06:10:40 PM
Melamine is fire-retardant, isn't it?
DAMMIT. :argh!:
It's
something retardant.
Anyone remember a fur board raid where one guy went in as an anglerfish I shooped into a tuxedo, and I went in as a 16 year old Hmong girl into taxidermy looking to sell cat-ear-cat-ears. I think someone called me a "Monster." Good times.
Quote from: Slyph on May 04, 2011, 12:23:42 PM
Anyone remember a fur board raid where one guy went in as an anglerfish I shooped into a tuxedo, and I went in as a 16 year old Hmong girl into taxidermy looking to sell cat-ear-cat-ears. I think someone called me a "Monster." Good times.
:spittake: