Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: *GrumpButt* on May 06, 2011, 03:27:45 AM

Title: Anyone have an easy biscuit recipe?
Post by: *GrumpButt* on May 06, 2011, 03:27:45 AM
Needs to be simple yet good.

I am prone to fuck up anything with more than 5 ingredients.

You guys always seem to have a shit-ton of good recipes. :D
Title: Re: Anyone have an easy biscuit recipe?
Post by: Luna on May 06, 2011, 03:42:49 AM
Quote from: *GrumpButt* on May 06, 2011, 03:27:45 AM
Needs to be simple yet good.

I am prone to fuck up anything with more than 5 ingredients.

You guys always seem to have a shit-ton of good recipes. :D

Don't look at me, I get the ones in the cans that go "bang" and untwist when you open 'em.  (I'm a particular fan of the honey butter ones.)
Title: Re: Anyone have an easy biscuit recipe?
Post by: *GrumpButt* on May 06, 2011, 03:45:41 AM
Quote from: Luna on May 06, 2011, 03:42:49 AM
Quote from: *GrumpButt* on May 06, 2011, 03:27:45 AM
Needs to be simple yet good.

I am prone to fuck up anything with more than 5 ingredients.

You guys always seem to have a shit-ton of good recipes. :D

Don't look at me, I get the ones in the cans that go "bang" and untwist when you open 'em.  (I'm a particular fan of the honey butter ones.)

Yeah I have a can of those too. I hate opening them though. Going to blow off a god damn finger some day.

They usually don't go off when I un wrap em, I throw the roll at the edge of my counter to do the job.

But yeah, I need home made...

I woke up at 6am just to drive down to my local little grocery/eatery for some this morning..

They only had 3 left. I bought them, then my son to find the bag and eat them all b/f I knew it. :x
Title: Re: Anyone have an easy biscuit recipe?
Post by: Luna on May 06, 2011, 03:55:25 AM
Quote from: *GrumpButt* on May 06, 2011, 03:45:41 AM
Quote from: Luna on May 06, 2011, 03:42:49 AM
Quote from: *GrumpButt* on May 06, 2011, 03:27:45 AM
Needs to be simple yet good.

I am prone to fuck up anything with more than 5 ingredients.

You guys always seem to have a shit-ton of good recipes. :D

Don't look at me, I get the ones in the cans that go "bang" and untwist when you open 'em.  (I'm a particular fan of the honey butter ones.)

Yeah I have a can of those too. I hate opening them though. Going to blow off a god damn finger some day.

They usually don't go off when I un wrap em, I throw the roll at the edge of my counter to do the job.

But yeah, I need home made...

I woke up at 6am just to drive down to my local little grocery/eatery for some this morning..

They only had 3 left. I bought them, then my son to find the bag and eat them all b/f I knew it. :x

Poke 'em with a spoon, that works, too.

Home made...  If I HAD to do home made, I'd grab a box of Bisquick and do what it said on the side.  But I'm sure somebody here has a better recipe than that.
Title: Re: Anyone have an easy biscuit recipe?
Post by: Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on May 06, 2011, 03:58:26 AM
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/southern-biscuits-recipe/index.html

I TRUST ALTON BROWN!

*note, i dont actually cook (yet)
Title: Re: Anyone have an easy biscuit recipe?
Post by: *GrumpButt* on May 06, 2011, 03:59:27 AM
Quote from: The Fred ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on May 06, 2011, 03:58:26 AM
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/southern-biscuits-recipe/index.html

I TRUST ALTON BROWN!

*note, i dont actually cook (yet)

Mmmm omg.....
Title: Re: Anyone have an easy biscuit recipe?
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on May 06, 2011, 04:00:48 AM
This is the way we always did it, except people used to use Crisco *shudders*

2 cups flour

1 tablespoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 stick butter

1 cup buttermilk, cold

(ok, that's six...sorry.)

Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Mix the dry stuff, then put the butter in and mash it into the flour with a fork until you've got something kind of like soft gravel. Add the buttermilk, mix it up, put it on a floured board and roll it out, then cut it. Bake in a greased pan, usually about 10 minutes but you have to kind of watch them.
Title: Re: Anyone have an easy biscuit recipe?
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on May 06, 2011, 04:05:36 AM
Don't go running around town looking for a cutter. Use a can to cut them, or just cut them square, or make drop biscuits if you don't feel like doig a big cleanup.
Title: Re: Anyone have an easy biscuit recipe?
Post by: maphdet on May 06, 2011, 04:25:20 AM
Quote from: The Fred ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on May 06, 2011, 03:58:26 AM
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/southern-biscuits-recipe/index.html

I TRUST ALTON BROWN!

*note, i dont actually cook (yet)

I like Alton Brown. He makes cooking fun and reasonable for me.
YAy!
Title: Re: Anyone have an easy biscuit recipe?
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on May 06, 2011, 04:34:30 AM
I didn't see teh Alton Brown link until after I posted. Redundancy is redundant, but biscuits are pretty standard.
Title: Re: Anyone have an easy biscuit recipe?
Post by: Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on May 06, 2011, 04:39:02 AM
AND DELICIOUS
Title: Re: Anyone have an easy biscuit recipe?
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on May 06, 2011, 05:25:27 AM
I mix self rising flour and heavy whipping cream, roll them on a floured board. cut the with a can and bake.  They soak up butter and mmmmm
Title: Re: Anyone have an easy biscuit recipe?
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 06, 2011, 06:19:44 AM
Use lard.

That is all I have to say. Best biscuits you will ever fucking taste ever in your life.
Title: Re: Anyone have an easy biscuit recipe?
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 06, 2011, 06:20:16 AM
Unless you're Muslim or Jewish, in which case SORRY YOUR RELIGION FORCES YOU TO MISS OUT.
Title: Re: Anyone have an easy biscuit recipe?
Post by: maphdet on May 06, 2011, 06:25:05 AM
And Catchup-cant leave out the catchup-(ok ketchup)

I think they call 'em southern biscuits and gravy-Fucking num.
Title: Re: Anyone have an easy biscuit recipe?
Post by: Triple Zero on May 06, 2011, 11:12:14 AM
Quote from: Nigel on May 06, 2011, 06:20:16 AM
Unless you're Muslim or Jewish, in which case SORRY YOUR RELIGION FORCES YOU TO MISS OUT.

OR VEGETARIAN BHWAAAHAHAHAHAHAA




:(





BTW yes, I think Alton Brown is a good resource for learning how to do it right, because he always explains the reasoning behind the steps. That way it's easier to remember (at least, for me) the important bits, because you know which parts of the recipe are really important and which parts are "just traditional" or "because grandma always did it like that", so you can prevent yourself from ehhrm cargo-cult-cooking :lol:

A lot of Alton Brown's episodes are on youtube, this is the one about the biscuits (in two parts, 20 minutes total):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d3QuQSdjMVE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qcz4JQUwY9Q
(same recipe as the foodnetwork link, except in video)
Title: Re: Anyone have an easy biscuit recipe?
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on May 06, 2011, 04:14:52 PM
Quote from: Nigel on May 06, 2011, 06:19:44 AM
Use lard.

That is all I have to say. Best biscuits you will ever fucking taste ever in your life.
I made french fries in lard once. They were FRENCH FRIES FROM TEH GODS...but my house smelled funky.  :x
Title: Re: Anyone have an easy biscuit recipe?
Post by: *GrumpButt* on May 06, 2011, 04:34:31 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on May 06, 2011, 11:12:14 AM
Quote from: Nigel on May 06, 2011, 06:20:16 AM
Unless you're Muslim or Jewish, in which case SORRY YOUR RELIGION FORCES YOU TO MISS OUT.

OR VEGETARIAN BHWAAAHAHAHAHAHAA




:(





BTW yes, I think Alton Brown is a good resource for learning how to do it right, because he always explains the reasoning behind the steps. That way it's easier to remember (at least, for me) the important bits, because you know which parts of the recipe are really important and which parts are "just traditional" or "because grandma always did it like that", so you can prevent yourself from ehhrm cargo-cult-cooking :lol:

A lot of Alton Brown's episodes are on youtube, this is the one about the biscuits (in two parts, 20 minutes total):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d3QuQSdjMVE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qcz4JQUwY9Q
(same recipe as the foodnetwork link, except in video)

I am a vegetarian lols
  :lulz:

Title: Re: Anyone have an easy biscuit recipe?
Post by: hooplala on May 06, 2011, 04:59:56 PM
Not to piss in anyone's corn flakes, and I realize this is Apple Talk where almost anything goes.... but don't we have an entire food subforum for stuff like this?
Title: Re: Anyone have an easy biscuit recipe?
Post by: LMNO on May 06, 2011, 06:20:35 PM
Yup.  But more people look at AT, I'm guessing.
Title: Re: Anyone have an easy biscuit recipe?
Post by: hooplala on May 06, 2011, 06:21:54 PM
Very true.
Title: Re: Anyone have an easy biscuit recipe?
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on May 06, 2011, 08:07:51 PM
Quote from: *GrumpButt* on May 06, 2011, 04:34:31 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on May 06, 2011, 11:12:14 AM
Quote from: Nigel on May 06, 2011, 06:20:16 AM
Unless you're Muslim or Jewish, in which case SORRY YOUR RELIGION FORCES YOU TO MISS OUT.

OR VEGETARIAN BHWAAAHAHAHAHAHAA




:(





BTW yes, I think Alton Brown is a good resource for learning how to do it right, because he always explains the reasoning behind the steps. That way it's easier to remember (at least, for me) the important bits, because you know which parts of the recipe are really important and which parts are "just traditional" or "because grandma always did it like that", so you can prevent yourself from ehhrm cargo-cult-cooking :lol:

A lot of Alton Brown's episodes are on youtube, this is the one about the biscuits (in two parts, 20 minutes total):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d3QuQSdjMVE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qcz4JQUwY9Q
(same recipe as the foodnetwork link, except in video)

I am a vegetarian lols
  :lulz:


So am I...maybe the stinky lard house contributed to that. :P
Title: Re: Anyone have an easy biscuit recipe?
Post by: *GrumpButt* on May 07, 2011, 01:04:10 AM
Might have been lol.

Oh damn didn't think about the food section as I posted this ><