Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on May 15, 2011, 08:48:05 AM

Title: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on May 15, 2011, 08:48:05 AM
This site makes all the stupid crazy at my jobs seem like nothing.

http://notalwaysright.com/

http://notalwaysright.com/it-must-have-been-a-new-moon/11480

QuoteIt Must Have Been A New Moon
BOOKSTORE | MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA
(This particular customer is a semi-regular who tends to loiter around the new age and paranormal sections. She has knee-length flowing blonde hair and is fond of hippyish clothing. Tonight, I notice her staring at me from a distance for a few minutes with a subtle, knowing smile.)

Me: "Hello, how are you today? Would you like any help?"

Customer: "Good, quite good. I don't need any help, but can I just talk to you for a minute?"

Me: "Sure. What would you like to talk about?"

Customer: "You. I just have some questions about you. You work here quite a lot, don't you? At night. I see you every night I come in."

Me: "Yes, I do tend to work here Thursday and Friday nights."

Customer: "I notice cause you're so pretty. Such long dark hair and pale skin."

Me: "Umm, thanks."

Customer: "What's your name?"

Me: "It's [my name]."

Customer: "That's a lovely name. A very old fashioned name. You don't really hear it anymore."

(By this point, I'm getting confused as I didn't think my name was that uncommon. I'm not sure what point she's trying to make.)

Customer: "What else do you do, other than working here?"

Me: "I'm in my fourth year of uni. My major is Science, but I do some electives in Literature and History."

Customer: *smiles* "Ahhh. So you're quite educated, as well."

Me: "I guess you could say that."

Customer: "Well, I had better not waste any more of your time. But I just want to tell you that I understand now, and I won't tell anyone."

Me: "Ah, ok. About what?"

Customer: "Your secret. That you are one of them. A vampire."

(The customer leaves while I just stand there confused.)

Coworker: "What's up?"

Me: "I ****ing hate Twilight..."

Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Juana on May 15, 2011, 09:03:00 AM
:lulz: I LOVE THIS
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Lies on May 15, 2011, 09:33:18 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on May 15, 2011, 08:48:05 AM
This site makes all the stupid crazy at my jobs seem like nothing.

http://notalwaysright.com/

http://notalwaysright.com/it-must-have-been-a-new-moon/11480

QuoteIt Must Have Been A New Moon
BOOKSTORE | MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA
(This particular customer is a semi-regular who tends to loiter around the new age and paranormal sections. She has knee-length flowing blonde hair and is fond of hippyish clothing. Tonight, I notice her staring at me from a distance for a few minutes with a subtle, knowing smile.)

Me: "Hello, how are you today? Would you like any help?"

Customer: "Good, quite good. I don't need any help, but can I just talk to you for a minute?"

Me: "Sure. What would you like to talk about?"

Customer: "You. I just have some questions about you. You work here quite a lot, don't you? At night. I see you every night I come in."

Me: "Yes, I do tend to work here Thursday and Friday nights."

Customer: "I notice cause you're so pretty. Such long dark hair and pale skin."

Me: "Umm, thanks."

Customer: "What's your name?"

Me: "It's [my name]."

Customer: "That's a lovely name. A very old fashioned name. You don't really hear it anymore."

(By this point, I'm getting confused as I didn't think my name was that uncommon. I'm not sure what point she's trying to make.)

Customer: "What else do you do, other than working here?"

Me: "I'm in my fourth year of uni. My major is Science, but I do some electives in Literature and History."

Customer: *smiles* "Ahhh. So you're quite educated, as well."

Me: "I guess you could say that."

Customer: "Well, I had better not waste any more of your time. But I just want to tell you that I understand now, and I won't tell anyone."

Me: "Ah, ok. About what?"

Customer: "Your secret. That you are one of them. A vampire."

(The customer leaves while I just stand there confused.)

Coworker: "What's up?"

Me: "I ****ing hate Twilight..."



:troll:
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on May 16, 2011, 04:05:50 AM
QuoteCredit Car
RETAIL | USA
(I am finishing ringing up a customer's purchases.)

Me: "That'll be $14.00."

Customer: "So, I want to pay with my credit card, but it's out in the car. Is that okay?"

Me: "Sure, that's fine."

(There's an uncomfortable pause as the customer stands there, as if waiting for something else to happen. Finally, the lightbulb goes on.)

Customer: "Oh, do I have to actually go get it?"

:facepalm:

This has happened to me at Jo-Ann's.
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 16, 2011, 04:11:07 AM
Fuck. I love that site... after 13 years of retail, it never stops feeling familiar.
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Suu on May 16, 2011, 04:14:11 AM
That site is a testament to a 12 year chunk of my existence.
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Freeky on May 16, 2011, 04:47:53 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on May 15, 2011, 08:48:05 AM
This site makes all the stupid crazy at my jobs seem like nothing.

http://notalwaysright.com/

http://notalwaysright.com/it-must-have-been-a-new-moon/11480

QuoteIt Must Have Been A New Moon
BOOKSTORE | MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA
(This particular customer is a semi-regular who tends to loiter around the new age and paranormal sections. She has knee-length flowing blonde hair and is fond of hippyish clothing. Tonight, I notice her staring at me from a distance for a few minutes with a subtle, knowing smile.)

Me: "Hello, how are you today? Would you like any help?"

Customer: "Good, quite good. I don't need any help, but can I just talk to you for a minute?"

Me: "Sure. What would you like to talk about?"

Customer: "You. I just have some questions about you. You work here quite a lot, don't you? At night. I see you every night I come in."

Me: "Yes, I do tend to work here Thursday and Friday nights."

Customer: "I notice cause you're so pretty. Such long dark hair and pale skin."

Me: "Umm, thanks."

Customer: "What's your name?"

Me: "It's [my name]."

Customer: "That's a lovely name. A very old fashioned name. You don't really hear it anymore."

(By this point, I'm getting confused as I didn't think my name was that uncommon. I'm not sure what point she's trying to make.)

Customer: "What else do you do, other than working here?"

Me: "I'm in my fourth year of uni. My major is Science, but I do some electives in Literature and History."

Customer: *smiles* "Ahhh. So you're quite educated, as well."

Me: "I guess you could say that."

Customer: "Well, I had better not waste any more of your time. But I just want to tell you that I understand now, and I won't tell anyone."

Me: "Ah, ok. About what?"

Customer: "Your secret. That you are one of them. A vampire."

(The customer leaves while I just stand there confused.)

Coworker: "What's up?"

Me: "I ****ing hate Twilight..."



I :lulz: and :crankey:
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Lies on May 16, 2011, 05:06:29 AM
I just noticed that story comes from Melbourne... I need to hunt this person down and marry her.
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on May 16, 2011, 05:11:30 AM
Quote from: Lies on May 16, 2011, 05:06:29 AM
I just noticed that story comes from Melbourne... I need to hunt this person down and marry her.

Quick, before someone glitterbombs (http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_kROXh3-ZMPE/Sq6UhxAbjdI/AAAAAAAAAlc/vUDTJ4qDd5A/s1600-h/sparkle.jpg) her!

Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on May 17, 2011, 05:09:19 AM
http://notalwaysright.com/has-faith-but-lost-all-pope-part-2/11585

QuoteHas Faith But Lost All Pope, Part 2
COMIC BOOK STORE | MD, USA
Customer: "Do you have any books on drawing people? My son loves to draw. I want to encourage him."

Me: "This one is really good for understanding anatomy. It uses examples from classical art."

Customer: *very snidely* "I could do without all the nudity. It's not very Christian."

Me: "That's the Sistine Chapel ceiling, ma'am. It's where the Pope preaches."


http://notalwaysright.com/getting-to-the-root-of-the-problem-part-2/11588

QuoteGetting To The Root Of The Problem, Part 2
HAIR SALON | UK
Customer: "Hello, I'd like to make a complaint."

Me: "Okay, how can I help you?"

Customer: "I had my hair done with you, and I'm not happy."

Me: "I'm terribly sorry about that. What appears to be the problem? I'd love to help you."

Customer: "Well, I had blonde highlights, but it's just gone very dark at the roots."

(I take the customer's name and have a look at her record.)

Me: "It says your last visit was four months ago."

Customer: "Yeah, so?"


Man, I feel for these people.
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 17, 2011, 05:18:48 AM
Oh, it's called "retail hell" for a reason.  :lulz:
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: BadBeast on May 17, 2011, 05:23:09 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on May 16, 2011, 05:11:30 AM
Quote from: Lies on May 16, 2011, 05:06:29 AM
I just noticed that story comes from Melbourne... I need to hunt this person down and marry her.

Quick, before someone glitterbombs (http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_kROXh3-ZMPE/Sq6UhxAbjdI/AAAAAAAAAlc/vUDTJ4qDd5A/s1600-h/sparkle.jpg) her!


Too late.
(http://i748.photobucket.com/albums/xx128/ChuckFukmuk/ASSORTED/emo-scene-hipster-onehorned-threesome.jpg)
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 17, 2011, 05:29:12 AM
Quote from: BadBeast on May 17, 2011, 05:23:09 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on May 16, 2011, 05:11:30 AM
Quote from: Lies on May 16, 2011, 05:06:29 AM
I just noticed that story comes from Melbourne... I need to hunt this person down and marry her.

Quick, before someone glitterbombs (http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_kROXh3-ZMPE/Sq6UhxAbjdI/AAAAAAAAAlc/vUDTJ4qDd5A/s1600-h/sparkle.jpg) her!


Too late.
(http://i748.photobucket.com/albums/xx128/ChuckFukmuk/ASSORTED/emo-scene-hipster-onehorned-threesome.jpg)

:lulz:
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on May 17, 2011, 05:34:18 AM
LOL. Damn, BadBeast. I almost spilled my Pepsi.
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Cain on May 17, 2011, 12:11:08 PM
Quote from: Nigel on May 17, 2011, 05:18:48 AM
Oh, it's called "retail hell" for a reason.  :lulz:

Only when your job wont let you answer back how you really feel.  If it does, then it becomes hilarious.

Idiot customer #39: "I'll have a chicken and chips.  I'm not a fan of this foreign muck."
Me:  "Uh, then maybe you should try and get your food from somewhere that isn't a Chinese takeaway?"
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Slyph on May 17, 2011, 12:54:38 PM
Receptionist: "Hello, [hotel]. How can I help you?"

Caller: "I need to know if I'm still barred."

Receptionist: "I can check that for you. Can I take your name, please?"

Caller: *gives name*

Receptionist: "Okay, I'll just check for you. Out of interest, can I ask why you were barred?"

Caller: "Aye. I took a sh** in a pint glass."

Receptionist: "Yeah, I'd say you're still barred."
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Luna on May 17, 2011, 01:02:02 PM
I tell ya, I MISS working at the comic book store.

You were almost EXPECTED to snark at the customers when they were stupid.
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Suu on May 17, 2011, 01:04:13 PM
Quote from: Slyph on May 17, 2011, 12:54:38 PM
Receptionist: "Hello, [hotel]. How can I help you?"

Caller: "I need to know if I'm still barred."

Receptionist: "I can check that for you. Can I take your name, please?"

Caller: *gives name*

Receptionist: "Okay, I'll just check for you. Out of interest, can I ask why you were barred?"

Caller: "Aye. I took a sh** in a pint glass."

Receptionist: "Yeah, I'd say you're still barred."

That screams Scotland.
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Cain on May 17, 2011, 01:08:20 PM
I know a club in Southampton which has that as an express penalty up on the wall behind the bar, with accompanying fine.

Along with several other offences.
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Slyph on May 17, 2011, 01:11:33 PM
Quote from: Cain on May 17, 2011, 01:08:20 PM
I know a club in Southampton which has that as an express penalty up on the wall behind the bar, with accompanying fine.

Along with several other offences.

Oh man... What other offences?
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Luna on May 17, 2011, 01:12:14 PM
Quote from: Slyph on May 17, 2011, 01:11:33 PM
Quote from: Cain on May 17, 2011, 01:08:20 PM
I know a club in Southampton which has that as an express penalty up on the wall behind the bar, with accompanying fine.

Along with several other offences.

Oh man... What other offences?

And what does it cost to dump in a pint glass?
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Pope Pixie Pickle on May 17, 2011, 02:38:35 PM
Quote from: Cain on May 17, 2011, 01:08:20 PM
I know a club in Southampton which has that as an express penalty up on the wall behind the bar, with accompanying fine.

Along with several other offences.

Ive never heard of this place, and it is in my hometown... exactly where is this place?
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Cain on May 17, 2011, 03:03:53 PM
Its a notorious Soton Uni hangout.  I suspect people who aren't students, or terminally stupid (or, as is usually the case, both), have no need to even know of the place.
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on May 18, 2011, 05:12:51 AM
http://notalwaysright.com/actually-fido-is-a-weapon-of-mass-destruction/16

QuoteActually, Fido Is A Weapon of Mass Destruction
PET STORE | KENTUCKY

Dog Owner: "When my dog pees, he leaves brown patches all over the lawn. Is he peeing fire?"
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Wyldkat on May 18, 2011, 06:15:50 AM
This thread is amazing!  Anything that can make me laugh like that today wins.
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on May 18, 2011, 06:43:57 AM
You should hit up the NAR website. LULZ galore.
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on May 23, 2011, 07:14:24 AM
http://notalwaysright.com/a-mothers-love-is-priceless-for-everything-else-theres-credit-cards/11640

QuoteA Mother's Love Is Priceless, For Everything Else There's Credit Cards
RETAIL | DAYTON, OH, USA
(A little girl walks up to me and my coworker. She is crying.)

Me: "Oh, honey. What's wrong?"

Girl: "I can't find my mom."

Me: "Well, I can page over the speaker for her. What's her name?"

(She gives me the name. My coworker gets a description of her mother as I page. When it's a lost child, all we say is 'We have something of yours' for safety reasons. This is to make sure the child does go with their actual parent.)

Girl: "I think she left."

Coworker: "No, she didn't. She's probably looking for you."

Girl: "She said she was going to leave me if I didn't keep up."

Me: "She didn't mean it. Don't worry, she'll be here."

(We get the girl to talk about her school and dog to keep her mind off how scared she is. It is the longest we have waited for a parent to come. Her mother finally gets there, and stops as soon as she sees her daughter.)

Mother: "Oh, you! I thought I lost my credit card. Well, come on already! You've slowed me down enough."

(The girl quietly walks over to her mother.)

Mother, to me: "Next time, just say it's my daughter so I know not to rush!"

:argh!:
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Wyldkat on May 24, 2011, 06:21:25 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on May 23, 2011, 07:14:24 AM
http://notalwaysright.com/a-mothers-love-is-priceless-for-everything-else-theres-credit-cards/11640

QuoteA Mother's Love Is Priceless, For Everything Else There's Credit Cards
RETAIL | DAYTON, OH, USA
(A little girl walks up to me and my coworker. She is crying.)

Me: "Oh, honey. What's wrong?"

Girl: "I can't find my mom."

Me: "Well, I can page over the speaker for her. What's her name?"

(She gives me the name. My coworker gets a description of her mother as I page. When it's a lost child, all we say is 'We have something of yours' for safety reasons. This is to make sure the child does go with their actual parent.)

Girl: "I think she left."

Coworker: "No, she didn't. She's probably looking for you."

Girl: "She said she was going to leave me if I didn't keep up."

Me: "She didn't mean it. Don't worry, she'll be here."

(We get the girl to talk about her school and dog to keep her mind off how scared she is. It is the longest we have waited for a parent to come. Her mother finally gets there, and stops as soon as she sees her daughter.)

Mother: "Oh, you! I thought I lost my credit card. Well, come on already! You've slowed me down enough."

(The girl quietly walks over to her mother.)

Mother, to me: "Next time, just say it's my daughter so I know not to rush!"

:argh!:

:argh!: :argh!: :argh!:

It's mothers like that that make me sort of wish people needed to take a test or get a license or something to have a kid.  I feel SO bad for that poor little girl.  My boys get out of sight for a second in a public place and I call for them.  They know to respond so we will all know everyone is safe.  It would be different if they were older (4 and 6 right now), but she sounds like about that age...
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Don Coyote on May 24, 2011, 06:22:10 AM
Quote from: Wyldkat on May 24, 2011, 06:21:25 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on May 23, 2011, 07:14:24 AM
http://notalwaysright.com/a-mothers-love-is-priceless-for-everything-else-theres-credit-cards/11640

QuoteA Mother's Love Is Priceless, For Everything Else There's Credit Cards
RETAIL | DAYTON, OH, USA
(A little girl walks up to me and my coworker. She is crying.)

Me: "Oh, honey. What's wrong?"

Girl: "I can't find my mom."

Me: "Well, I can page over the speaker for her. What's her name?"

(She gives me the name. My coworker gets a description of her mother as I page. When it's a lost child, all we say is 'We have something of yours' for safety reasons. This is to make sure the child does go with their actual parent.)

Girl: "I think she left."

Coworker: "No, she didn't. She's probably looking for you."

Girl: "She said she was going to leave me if I didn't keep up."

Me: "She didn't mean it. Don't worry, she'll be here."

(We get the girl to talk about her school and dog to keep her mind off how scared she is. It is the longest we have waited for a parent to come. Her mother finally gets there, and stops as soon as she sees her daughter.)

Mother: "Oh, you! I thought I lost my credit card. Well, come on already! You've slowed me down enough."

(The girl quietly walks over to her mother.)

Mother, to me: "Next time, just say it's my daughter so I know not to rush!"

:argh!:

:argh!: :argh!: :argh!:

It's mothers like that that make me sort of wish people needed to take a test or get a license or something to have a kid.  I feel SO bad for that poor little girl.  My boys get out of sight for a second in a public place and I call for them.  They know to respond so we will all know everyone is safe.  It would be different if they were older (4 and 6 right now), but she sounds like about that age...

And people like you make me wish we had a higher infant mortality rate.
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Slyph on May 24, 2011, 12:10:34 PM
Harsh dude.
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Don Coyote on May 24, 2011, 02:02:56 PM
Quote from: Slyph on May 24, 2011, 12:10:34 PM
Harsh dude.

Wyldkat equates moderating an internet forum with caring for children. She also has children. I sincerely believe she should never had made it past infancy.
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: maphdet on May 24, 2011, 03:15:25 PM
  :horrormirth:


These can't be real, can they???
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Luna on May 24, 2011, 03:19:25 PM
Quote from: maphdet on May 24, 2011, 03:15:25 PM
  :horrormirth:


These can't be real, can they???

Having worked retail, I assure you, they most likley are.
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Suu on May 24, 2011, 03:21:43 PM
Quote from: maphdet on May 24, 2011, 03:15:25 PM
  :horrormirth:


These can't be real, can they???

Absofuckinglutely.
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Suu on May 24, 2011, 03:24:24 PM
QuoteCustomer: "I'd like a cinnamon crunch bagel with honey walnut cream cheese, and a cup of coffee."

Customer's sister: "What?!"

Customer: "I can handle it."

Customer's sister, to me: "She's allergic to walnuts."

Customer: "Yeah, but I'm not too allergic."

Me: "Uhm.."

Customer: "I'll just break out into a rash. I won't die or anything. You don't have to worry about that."

Me: "I'm not so sure I—"

Customer: "It's just so good. I can't help it!"

This is totally me and Iggy's clam chowder. Ask Roger, he had to pry it out of my hands.

'I'LL JUST TAKE A BENEDRYL!'
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: maphdet on May 24, 2011, 03:30:58 PM
Quote from: Suu on May 24, 2011, 03:21:43 PM
Quote from: maphdet on May 24, 2011, 03:15:25 PM
  :horrormirth:


These can't be real, can they???

Absofuckinglutely.

Fucking hell. I suppose I should have guessed as much.
:|
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Luna on May 24, 2011, 03:59:58 PM
Quote(I work for an online traffic school and for some of the counties, we need them to put answers to security questions.

Me: "Hi, this is ***, how can I help you?"

Caller: "Hey, it says that I missed a security question and that I need to call this number to continue."

Me: "Okay, what question did you miss?"

Caller: "I missed what is my favorite animal."

(I get his personal information and look up his answer.)

Me: "Sir, the answer we have here says 'Pussy'. You are aware that this is also the same answer you have for... your favorite food?"

Caller: *click*

:lulz:
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 24, 2011, 06:18:12 PM
Quote(A elderly customer buys an incredible amount of food, most of which is dried pasta and tinned fruit. The total comes to £500.)

Me: "I'm sorry, but your card has been declined due to insufficient funds."

Customer: "Why is that?"

Me: "You don't have enough money in your account."

Customer: "Yes, I do."

Me: "I'm sorry, but it seems you don't."

Customer: "No, I do. I let Prime Minister David Cameron borrow some. He'll put it back in soon."

Me: "I'm sorry, what?"

Customer: "Oh, yes. But you mustn't tell anyone. I need this food now, so can you just put it through, please?"

Me: "I'm sorry, but without the money, I cannot complete your transaction."

Customer: "When I go into hibernation for the summer, I'll need to have plenty of food in my house."

(I am shocked into silence.)

Customer: "You're beautiful. How about we hibernate together this summer, sweetie?"

Me: "Excuse me?"

Customer: "Here's my address. Look me up as soon as July hits!"

(She hands me a piece of paper and hurries out of the shop. I look at the piece of paper. It is actually just a drawing of the sun, with the words 'TRUST NO ONE' written below.)


:lulz:
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Suu on May 24, 2011, 06:18:53 PM
BRILLIANT.  :lulz:
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on May 25, 2011, 12:39:55 AM
That one sounds like something my great-grandma would have done in between going to bowling alleys to pick up men and robbing a liquor store.
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on May 28, 2011, 01:19:22 AM
http://notalwaysright.com/application-confrontation-part-2/11757 (http://notalwaysright.com/application-confrontation-part-2/11757)

QuoteApplication Confrontation, Part 2
VIDEO GAME STORE | SEATTLE, WA, USA
(The store is relatively empty, save for me, a mother with her son, and a guy sitting on the floor next to one of our display models who is hastily filling out a job application. The boy goes and starts playing on the display model, at which point the man reaches over and unplugs it from the wall.)

Me: "Excuse me, sir. That boy was playing on that."

Man: "I need to get this finished! I can't concentrate with all the noise!"

Me: "Sir, please plug that back in."

Man: "I said I need to get this done! Just give me one minute here, okay?"

(I go over and plug the display back in myself. The man glares at me and yanks the cord out again.)

Man: "One minute! Seriously, I just want to get this done. Is that too much to ask?"

(The boy's mother comes over.)

Mother: "Sir, as the associate said, my son would like to play the game. If it's bothering you, then surely you can move somewhere else to finish your paperwork."

Man: "Come on, please!"

Me: "Sir, she's right. If you want, I can get you a chair so you can sit at the counter and finish your forms."

(The man grumbles, but nevertheless gets up off the floor. I go grab a chair for him from the back and presently the mother and son approach the counter with a pile of games. I ring them up and see them on their way out. The man approaches me.)

Man: "Look, I understand you have to suck up to the people who spend their money in here. Just admit it to me: you agree that game is s***, and the kid's tastes in games are s*** for wanting to play it."

(I am in shocked silence.)

Man: "Where's the manager, so I can give this to him and set up an interview?"

Me: "You're talking to her, sir."
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on May 28, 2011, 01:23:19 AM
http://notalwaysright.com/they-grow-up-and-get-incarcerated-so-fast-part-2/11730 (http://notalwaysright.com/they-grow-up-and-get-incarcerated-so-fast-part-2/11730)

QuoteThey Grow Up (And Get Incarcerated) So Fast, Part 2
RETAIL | TX, USA
(I am approached by an 8-year-old customer.)

Child: "Miss, can I buy this game?"

(He holds up a copy of an adult-rated game.)

Me: "I'm sorry, I can't. You'll need your parent or guardian to buy that for you."

Child: "Okay. I just called my mom. She'll be here soon.

(The mother and other children arrive at the store.)

Mother: "Okay, what is it?"

Me: "I just need to know if you approve of this game. It contains blood, violence, use of drugs-"

Mother: "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Boobs, butts, drugs, whatever. I don't care. He's paying for it."
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Freeky on May 28, 2011, 05:59:38 AM
:facepalm:
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Jasper on May 28, 2011, 06:34:22 PM
Clearly the woman is of a laissez-faire persuasion.
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Slyph on May 29, 2011, 12:20:11 PM
I dunno man. Being the kid with the violent videogames is cruise control for cool. Probably a net gain in the long run.
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Jasper on May 29, 2011, 05:06:30 PM
I think most kids can handle a lot more than the MPAA gives them credit for, only the problem I have with that picture is the way the mother is showing determined apathy about her kid right in front of him.  He might be thinking 'score, I get the game!', but he's also going to internalize the 'mom don't give a shit 'bout me' belief.  I doubt that's altogether healthy. 
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 29, 2011, 05:43:56 PM
Kids can handle all kinds of things that aren't good for their development, and will impede their social health and happiness in adulthood. What they "can handle" is not a measure of what they should be exposed to.

It's really just an amusing anecdote from which no conclusions can be drawn. The clerk had no way of knowing the age of the kid, and 8-12 year olds vary tremendously. The mother's response could just as easily be a wisecrack, an in-joke, or just a wry response to frequent assumptions that her kid is younger than he is. (Let's look at a couple of facts. 1. The kid was in a game store by himself. 2. The kid had a cell phone. Yeah, probably not 8.)

And now a bunch of even-further-removed strangers on the internet are analyzing the scenario.  :lulz: She could be a shitty mother, she could be an awesome mother... but it doesn't really matter, it's just an amusing anecdote.
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on May 31, 2011, 10:42:09 AM
http://notalwaysright.com/this-is-why-were-in-a-recession-part-14/11804 (http://notalwaysright.com/this-is-why-were-in-a-recession-part-14/11804)

QuoteThis Is Why We're In A Recession, Part 14
RETAIL | CT, USA
Customer: "Hi, do you have financing options?"

(I explain the program, and the customer fills out the online form. The site gives an instant decision. She gets declined.)

Customer: "I got declined. I don't understand why."

Me: "Well, it has to do with your credit. You'll receive a packet in the mail within 10 business days explaining exactly why you were declined."

Customer: "This is ridiculous. Can you help me with this? I think I did something wrong."

Me: "Well, I wouldn't apply again. It's not likely to change and it means that it will run another credit check on you."

(The customer insists, and begins filling it out with me there overseeing. She gets to the section about annual income and planned purchase amount. She puts $100,000 as her annual salary. Keep in mind, she's no more than 25.)

Me: "Man, I'm in the wrong business. Can I ask what you do?"

Customer: "Oh. Well, I'm a student. But my dad works on Wall Street."

Me: "But you make $100,000 per year?"

Customer: "No, my dad does."

Me: "But, you're applying for the card in your name. They need your annual income."

Customer: "Can't I just use his?"

Me: "No, you can't. In fact, what you just did is illegal. That's why you got declined. You're trying to commit credit fraud."

Customer: "Oh, I can't do that?"

:wrong:
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Jasper on May 31, 2011, 07:26:24 PM
Quote from: Your Mom on May 29, 2011, 05:43:56 PM
Kids can handle all kinds of things that aren't good for their development, and will impede their social health and happiness in adulthood. What they "can handle" is not a measure of what they should be exposed to.

It's really just an amusing anecdote from which no conclusions can be drawn. The clerk had no way of knowing the age of the kid, and 8-12 year olds vary tremendously. The mother's response could just as easily be a wisecrack, an in-joke, or just a wry response to frequent assumptions that her kid is younger than he is. (Let's look at a couple of facts. 1. The kid was in a game store by himself. 2. The kid had a cell phone. Yeah, probably not 8.)

And now a bunch of even-further-removed strangers on the internet are analyzing the scenario.  :lulz: She could be a shitty mother, she could be an awesome mother... but it doesn't really matter, it's just an amusing anecdote.

Yeah.  I just don't like speculating beyond available data.  What you say is true though, it is just a funny story.
Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on August 18, 2011, 05:35:17 AM
http://notalwaysright.com/trust-me-youre-not-a-doctor/13133

QuoteMe: "Hello, this is ***** Healthcare line. What can I help you with?"

Caller: "Hi, I'm calling because my son just ate a bunch of ants."

Me: "I'm sorry? Your son ate ants?"

Caller: "Yes! I was wondering if I need to take him to the hospital and see a doctor."

Me: "Well, ma'am, I don't think you need to worry. I don't think the ants will make him sick, but I advise that he doesn't eat any more of them."

Caller: "Well, I gave him some ant killer to get rid of them."

Caller's friend: "Get him to the emergency room, now!"

:horrormirth:

Title: Re: Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on August 18, 2011, 05:40:05 AM
http://notalwaysright.com/dont-take-declined-for-an-answer/13065

Quote(I work at a large retail store. The store has its own credit card that customers can apply for.)

Customer: "Excuse me, I applied for a credit card yesterday, but I don't have it yet. Can I still use it?"

Me: "Sure, as long as you have the temporary credit slip that you were given when you applied. Do you have that?"

Customer: "No."

Me: "Oh. Did you leave it at home?"

Customer: "No. I don't have one."

Me: "Didn't you get one when you applied?"

Customer: "No."

Me: "Well, were you approved for the credit card?"

Customer: "No."

Me: *speechless*

Customer: "So, I can't use it?"

Me: "No, ma'am, you can't use a credit card that you weren't approved for."

Customer: "Oh. Well, that's stupid!"


This shit right here? This is why this country is fucked.