Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: Luna on May 26, 2011, 01:22:12 PM

Title: Gotta love the Catholic Church
Post by: Luna on May 26, 2011, 01:22:12 PM
Father Riccardo Seppia has been working with the Pope on reforms on responses to sex abuse cases. 

He's been arrested.  Pedophilia and drug charges.

You can't make this shit up.

http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,2072613,00.html?xid=rss-world
Title: Re: Gotta love the Catholic Church
Post by: LMNO on May 26, 2011, 01:26:03 PM
"Look for needy boys who have family issues."


:kingmeh: :x

Title: Re: Gotta love the Catholic Church
Post by: Luna on May 26, 2011, 01:27:44 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on May 26, 2011, 01:26:03 PM
"Look for needy boys who have family issues."


:kingmeh: :x



Yeah, I saw that.  You don't want to know what I'd like to do to people who'd do something like this.
Title: Re: Gotta love the Catholic Church
Post by: AFK on May 26, 2011, 01:28:40 PM
Cover them in honey and drop them in the middle of a fly infested wasteland? 
Title: Re: Gotta love the Catholic Church
Post by: Slyph on May 26, 2011, 01:31:30 PM
Pederasty, Classical Antiquities, Hooded and robed monks, Eccelestial hereldry. I regard the whole Catholic church as basically a very militant and hardcore SCA splinter.
Title: Re: Gotta love the Catholic Church
Post by: Luna on May 26, 2011, 01:42:47 PM
Quote from: Slyph on May 26, 2011, 01:31:30 PM
Pederasty, Classical Antiquities, Hooded and robed monks, Eccelestial hereldry. I regard the whole Catholic church as basically a very militant and hardcore SCA splinter.

Funny...  In all my years in the SCA, one of the fastest ways to find yourself on the wrong end of a stick was to make a move on one of the kids.
Title: Re: Gotta love the Catholic Church
Post by: Slyph on May 26, 2011, 02:19:20 PM
Hence radical splinter.
Title: Re: Gotta love the Catholic Church
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on May 26, 2011, 04:21:22 PM
The catholic priest formula:

Physically normal (albeit extremely gullible/mentally retarded) male + vow of celibacy = what the fuck did you think would happen :lulz:
Title: Re: Gotta love the Catholic Church
Post by: Adios on May 26, 2011, 04:40:59 PM
What? Don't they just want to put their Universal Joint into the rear end?



Horrible reference.
The Universal Catholic Church considers itself to be part of the One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church and to be both Catholic and Liberal.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Universal_Catholic_Church
Title: Re: Gotta love the Catholic Church
Post by: Kai on May 26, 2011, 06:00:04 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on May 26, 2011, 04:40:59 PM
What? Don't they just want to put their Universal Joint into the rear end?



Horrible reference.
The Universal Catholic Church considers itself to be part of the One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church and to be both Catholic and Liberal.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Universal_Catholic_Church

Yeah, I've read up on that before. It's like catholicism, without any of the vileness. Or not more than any other religion, I guess. They ordain women, treat the GLBTs as equal, allow priests to marry, and well, here's the FAQ: http://www.universalcatholic.org/about.html
Title: Re: Gotta love the Catholic Church
Post by: Kai on May 26, 2011, 06:04:19 PM
QuoteDo you ordain women?

Yes. Gender is not an impediment to ordination at any level. Both women and men can be ordained as cleric, doorkeeper, reader, exorcist, acolyte, subdeacon, deacon, priest, and bishop.

Someone needs to write some supernatural fiction with a UCC female exorcist, STAT!
Title: Re: Gotta love the Catholic Church
Post by: Cain on May 26, 2011, 06:05:56 PM
A recent exorcism flick (which wasn't very good) actually had a female exorcist.  Well, a female being trained in exorcism, alongside the main character.  They were old school Catholics though (not to be confused with Old Catholics (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_Catholic_Church))
Title: Re: Gotta love the Catholic Church
Post by: Kai on May 26, 2011, 06:11:23 PM
Quote from: Cain on May 26, 2011, 06:05:56 PM
A recent exorcism flick (which wasn't very good) actually had a female exorcist.  Well, a female being trained in exorcism, alongside the main character.  They were old school Catholics though (not to be confused with Old Catholics (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_Catholic_Church))

I just think a butch lesbian ordained as both a UCC exorcist and priest would make a good main character for a story. Or I'd read it, at least.

And yeah, since the Roman Catholic Church overshadows the rest, I often forget about the many split off catholic denominations.
Title: Re: Gotta love the Catholic Church
Post by: BabylonHoruv on May 26, 2011, 07:38:15 PM
Quote from: ϗ, M.S. on May 26, 2011, 06:00:04 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on May 26, 2011, 04:40:59 PM
What? Don't they just want to put their Universal Joint into the rear end?



Horrible reference.
The Universal Catholic Church considers itself to be part of the One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church and to be both Catholic and Liberal.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Universal_Catholic_Church

Yeah, I've read up on that before. It's like catholicism, without any of the vileness. Or not more than any other religion, I guess. They ordain women, treat the GLBTs as equal, allow priests to marry, and well, here's the FAQ: http://www.universalcatholic.org/about.html

I believe my Godmother is a priest of that.

She's also a butch lesbian, so she fits that character Kai is imagining awfully well.
Title: Re: Gotta love the Catholic Church
Post by: Lies on May 27, 2011, 04:16:41 AM
BURN THE MOTHERCHILD FUCKING VATICAN TO THE GROUND.

IT IS THE ONLY SOLUTION.
Title: Re: Gotta love the Catholic Church
Post by: Kai on May 27, 2011, 04:25:06 AM
Quote from: Lies on May 27, 2011, 04:16:41 AM
BURN THE MOTHERCHILD FUCKING VATICAN TO THE GROUND.

IT IS THE ONLY SOLUTION.

Hey. I for one don't think the architecture deserves that.
Title: Re: Gotta love the Catholic Church
Post by: Lies on May 27, 2011, 04:38:50 AM
Quote from: ϗ, M.S. on May 27, 2011, 04:25:06 AM
Quote from: Lies on May 27, 2011, 04:16:41 AM
BURN THE MOTHERCHILD FUCKING VATICAN TO THE GROUND.

IT IS THE ONLY SOLUTION.

Hey. I for one don't think the architecture deserves that.
:lulz:
You're right. One thing I gotta hand to those guys, they sure do know how to make pretty buildings.

Still, it *was* built on the tears of abused boys, so I'm pretty sure they wouldn't mind it going down in flames, "closure" I suppose would be what they would feel about it.
Title: Re: Gotta love the Catholic Church
Post by: Prince Glittersnatch III on May 27, 2011, 05:26:26 AM
Quote from: ϗ, M.S. on May 26, 2011, 06:11:23 PM
Quote from: Cain on May 26, 2011, 06:05:56 PM
A recent exorcism flick (which wasn't very good) actually had a female exorcist.  Well, a female being trained in exorcism, alongside the main character.  They were old school Catholics though (not to be confused with Old Catholics (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_Catholic_Church))

I just think a butch lesbian ordained as both a UCC exorcist and priest would make a good main character for a story. Or I'd read it, at least.


Im pretty sure Ive seen a porno with that basic outline.
Title: Re: Gotta love the Catholic Church
Post by: Kai on May 27, 2011, 05:37:14 AM
Quote from: Lies on May 27, 2011, 04:38:50 AM
Quote from: ϗ, M.S. on May 27, 2011, 04:25:06 AM
Quote from: Lies on May 27, 2011, 04:16:41 AM
BURN THE MOTHERCHILD FUCKING VATICAN TO THE GROUND.

IT IS THE ONLY SOLUTION.

Hey. I for one don't think the architecture deserves that.
:lulz:
You're right. One thing I gotta hand to those guys, they sure do know how to make pretty buildings.

Still, it *was* built on the tears of abused boys, so I'm pretty sure they wouldn't mind it going down in flames, "closure" I suppose would be what they would feel about it.

Quote from: WhoisIOZWell, it is fun to make fun of Catholics and gall their gaudy cult a gang of child rapists, but the interesting point may yet be that pedophilia is, as before noted in these very pages, not exactly the right word, and what the Catholic clergy is really rife with are ephebophiles, a cult devoted to the beauty of male youth. This only adds to my theory that the Catholic Church, such as it is, is the last bastion of classical civilization, a pantsless remnant of our pagan antiquity in this age of dour monotheism.

I really don't see any reason to destroy art and culture. I don't even see a reason to destroy places like Auschwitz, because they should remain as a reminder of what humans can do to other humans. Burning down the Vatican is no more enlightened than blowing up the Bamiyan Buddhas.
Title: Re: Gotta love the Catholic Church
Post by: Lies on May 27, 2011, 05:57:56 AM
Quote from: ϗ, M.S. on May 27, 2011, 05:37:14 AM
Quote from: Lies on May 27, 2011, 04:38:50 AM
Quote from: ϗ, M.S. on May 27, 2011, 04:25:06 AM
Quote from: Lies on May 27, 2011, 04:16:41 AM
BURN THE MOTHERCHILD FUCKING VATICAN TO THE GROUND.

IT IS THE ONLY SOLUTION.

Hey. I for one don't think the architecture deserves that.
:lulz:
You're right. One thing I gotta hand to those guys, they sure do know how to make pretty buildings.

Still, it *was* built on the tears of abused boys, so I'm pretty sure they wouldn't mind it going down in flames, "closure" I suppose would be what they would feel about it.

Quote from: WhoisIOZWell, it is fun to make fun of Catholics and gall their gaudy cult a gang of child rapists, but the interesting point may yet be that pedophilia is, as before noted in these very pages, not exactly the right word, and what the Catholic clergy is really rife with are ephebophiles, a cult devoted to the beauty of male youth. This only adds to my theory that the Catholic Church, such as it is, is the last bastion of classical civilization, a pantsless remnant of our pagan antiquity in this age of dour monotheism.

I really don't see any reason to destroy art and culture. I don't even see a reason to destroy places like Auschwitz, because they should remain as a reminder of what humans can do to other humans. Burning down the Vatican is no more enlightened than blowing up the Bamiyan Buddhas.
That's true, but I'm not a very enlightened person, and I like fireworks.
Title: Re: Gotta love the Catholic Church
Post by: Kai on May 27, 2011, 06:01:47 AM
Well why don't you blow up the house of parliament then? Wait, that's been done.
Title: Re: Gotta love the Catholic Church
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 27, 2011, 06:16:26 AM
I'm with Kai on this one. Destroying art, architecture, technology, because it has an ugly history? Guess we'll have to nuke the planet, because every single one of us comes from ugliness in some way or another. Destroying history because it's unpleasant is just another way of sticking our collective heads in the sand.

Walk on two legs, fuckers.
Title: Re: Gotta love the Catholic Church
Post by: Lies on May 27, 2011, 06:25:34 AM
Guys, seriously, yes, some men want to watch the world burn, but really,
(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_YdAacBURVXE/SIuwguLKccI/AAAAAAAAC2E/rNq5dBFd-pM/s320/ledger-joker-serious.jpg)

No, really guys, I'm right there with you, I wouldn't advocate burning the place down. Just putting all the child abusers in one place and burning *that* place down.

I'm more on the side of this-
(http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lkkh81gqJ01qbr8m0o1_500.jpg)
Title: Re: Gotta love the Catholic Church
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 27, 2011, 06:39:32 AM
I could get behind that.
Title: Re: Gotta love the Catholic Church
Post by: Adios on May 27, 2011, 03:17:32 PM
Quote from: Nigel on May 27, 2011, 06:16:26 AM
I'm with Kai on this one. Destroying art, architecture, technology, because it has an ugly history? Guess we'll have to nuke the planet, because every single one of us comes from ugliness in some way or another. Destroying history because it's unpleasant is just another way of sticking our collective heads in the sand.

Walk on two legs, fuckers.

Gods would I love to see the fallout if their secret library ever hit the light of day.
Title: Re: Gotta love the Catholic Church
Post by: Slyph on May 27, 2011, 03:20:41 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on May 26, 2011, 04:21:22 PM
The catholic priest formula:

Physically normal (albeit extremely gullible/mentally retarded) male + vow of celibacy = what the fuck did you think would happen :lulz:

Well, I wouldn't start fucking kids even if the alternative was celibacy tbh.
Title: Re: Gotta love the Catholic Church
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on May 27, 2011, 05:33:38 PM
Quote from: Slyph on May 27, 2011, 03:20:41 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on May 26, 2011, 04:21:22 PM
The catholic priest formula:

Physically normal (albeit extremely gullible/mentally retarded) male + vow of celibacy = what the fuck did you think would happen :lulz:

Well, I wouldn't start fucking kids even if the alternative was celibacy tbh.

Of course they don't all do it (at a guess) but it is a hell of a lot of pressure to put on an already weak mind. You put enough test subjects under this regime and is it really any surprise that the odd one completely snaps? Do nevar underestimate the effect of male libido.
Title: Re: Gotta love the Catholic Church
Post by: Suu on May 27, 2011, 05:44:57 PM
Catholicism only required celibacy for their ordained clergyman after the Gregorian reform in the 11th century. You'll find that some of the most notable saints and authors that came out of the early period of the religion were married and had families (ever read Augustine of Hippo? OH LAWD.), this was NORMAL and not really enforced heavily even until well after Pope Alexander IV, who was open with his sluttiness. Eastern Orthodox priests are still allowed to be married, but they cannot become bishops or patriarchs.

When I was still in Catholic school, we had a couple of deacons in our church who were married, and I remember as 10 year olds, we thought it was weird, but apparently as long as you have no desire to become a bishop, you can marry. So you can be a life-long deacon and totally get your mack on, and if you're ordained a priest while you're a married deacon, well, then you're a married priest. And this was at a Roman Catholic parish, Franciscan order. Once we switched to the Dominican parish, things seemed a bit, well, more formal and glamorous.
Title: Re: Gotta love the Catholic Church
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on May 27, 2011, 05:50:55 PM
Hmm. Didn't know that. Might be interesting to see how many of the kiddie fiddlers were getting regular pussy, compared to the celibates. Could either support or overturn my theory...
Title: Re: Gotta love the Catholic Church
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on May 27, 2011, 07:12:20 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on May 27, 2011, 05:50:55 PM
Hmm. Didn't know that. Might be interesting to see how many of the kiddie fiddlers were getting regular pussy, compared to the celibates. Could either support or overturn my theory...

It's an interesting (and fairly obscure) loophole, but I don't know how many contemporary priest go that route and get wives. I don't see why they wouldn't, but it doesn't often happen. At least not in New England. I imagine it happens even less in Britain and Ireland.

I have heard of priests taking advantages of women whose marriages were falling apart.
Title: Re: Gotta love the Catholic Church
Post by: Suu on May 27, 2011, 11:04:36 PM
Typically if men go into seminary, it's not to be a deacon, they BECOME a deacon when they're assigned to a parish, but most of them want to be a priest and get a shot at becoming a bishop.