Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Techmology and Scientism => High Weirdness => Topic started by: Jenne on June 18, 2011, 11:17:20 PM

Title: Japanese Scientists Take Your Poop and Make
Post by: Jenne on June 18, 2011, 11:17:20 PM
BEEF.

:lulz:

http://www.digitaltrends.com/international/japanese-scientists-creates-meat-out-of-feces/

Mm mm mm.

"Who ordered the shitburger deluxe?"

:lulz:
Title: Re: Japanese Scientists Take Your Poop and Make
Post by: Doktor Howl on June 19, 2011, 04:38:46 PM
I will begin shipping my poomp today!
Title: Re: Japanese Scientists Take Your Poop and Make
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 19, 2011, 05:28:06 PM
This is even better than soylent green!
Title: Re: Japanese Scientists Take Your Poop and Make
Post by: Doktor Howl on June 19, 2011, 05:30:43 PM
Quote from: Your Mom on June 19, 2011, 05:28:06 PM
This is even better than soylent green!

Soylent Green is POOOOOOOP!
\
:nigel:
Title: Re: Japanese Scientists Take Your Poop and Make
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 19, 2011, 07:40:50 PM
I can't see that as being good for anyone. But I bet my redneck family would eat that shit like . . . erm. Shit?
Title: Re: Japanese Scientists Take Your Poop and Make
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 19, 2011, 07:52:36 PM
My favorite is the part where they're hoping to get the price down to about the same as actual beef.

Because that implies that they think people will choose the poop meat over real beef if all else is equal.  :?
Title: Re: Japanese Scientists Take Your Poop and Make
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 19, 2011, 08:08:14 PM
Quote from: Your Mom on June 19, 2011, 07:52:36 PM
My favorite is the part where they're hoping to get the price down to about the same as actual beef.

Because that implies that they think people will choose the poop meat over real beef if all else is equal.  :?

It's the responsible thing to do! FOR THE ENVIRONMENT!!
Title: Re: Japanese Scientists Take Your Poop and Make
Post by: Doktor Howl on June 19, 2011, 09:48:22 PM
Japanese Discordians trolling the Greens, ITT.   :lulz:
Title: Re: Japanese Scientists Take Your Poop and Make
Post by: PresidentLincPwln on June 20, 2011, 12:34:51 AM
How, dear friends; how will the ponographic coprophilia industry react to this?

I await, with bated breath and bating hands, the next generation of zany Japanese porn.
Title: Re: Japanese Scientists Take Your Poop and Make
Post by: Doktor Howl on June 20, 2011, 12:49:17 AM
Quote from: PresidentLincPwln on June 20, 2011, 12:34:51 AM
How, dear friends; how will the ponographic coprophilia industry react to this?

I await, with bated breath and bating hands, the next generation of zany Japanese porn.

The Dutch are gonna be PISSED.
Title: Re: Japanese Scientists Take Your Poop and Make
Post by: Cain on June 20, 2011, 02:31:01 PM
I'd eat poop-beef.

At least twice, anyway.
Title: Re: Japanese Scientists Take Your Poop and Make
Post by: Doktor Howl on June 20, 2011, 04:16:27 PM
Quote from: Cain on June 20, 2011, 02:31:01 PM
I'd eat poop-beef.

At least twice, anyway.

GIGGLES will be dancing in the streets.

Nobody wants to see that.
Title: Re: Japanese Scientists Take Your Poop and Make
Post by: Jenne on June 20, 2011, 04:17:12 PM
Quote from: Cain on June 20, 2011, 02:31:01 PM
I'd eat poop-beef.

At least twice, anyway.

Ok.  I'll bite.

Why twice?
Title: Re: Japanese Scientists Take Your Poop and Make
Post by: Cain on June 20, 2011, 04:25:56 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 20, 2011, 04:16:27 PM
GIGGLES will be dancing in the streets.

Nobody wants to see that.

It'd be worth the blindness.

Quote from: Jenne on June 20, 2011, 04:17:12 PM
Ok.  I'll bite.

Why twice?

Well, the first time, when it's real beef, and then again, after it's been...processed.
Title: Re: Japanese Scientists Take Your Poop and Make
Post by: Jenne on June 20, 2011, 04:29:31 PM
:lulz:
Title: Re: Japanese Scientists Take Your Poop and Make
Post by: Freeky on June 20, 2011, 05:21:39 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 20, 2011, 04:16:27 PM
Quote from: Cain on June 20, 2011, 02:31:01 PM
I'd eat poop-beef.

At least twice, anyway.

GIGGLES will be dancing in the streets.

Nobody wants to see that.

(http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y153/Meiintas/GIGGLES.jpg)
Title: Re: Japanese Scientists Take Your Poop and Make
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 20, 2011, 06:57:50 PM
I can see America having Shit-Beef in a deli. Every time a customer comes up wanting some roast beef they'll ask why it isn't leaking red but brown instead. And every time the clerks have to explain that it's shitmeat. It leaks shit. Real roast beef leaks blood. :P This ain't that.

And then they'll say "Oh, okay. I'll have the shitbeef anyway, it's a dollar cheaper."
Title: Re: Japanese Scientists Take Your Poop and Make
Post by: Don Coyote on June 21, 2011, 05:26:55 AM
Quote from: Jenkem and SPACE/TIME on June 20, 2011, 05:21:39 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 20, 2011, 04:16:27 PM
Quote from: Cain on June 20, 2011, 02:31:01 PM
I'd eat poop-beef.

At least twice, anyway.

GIGGLES will be dancing in the streets.

Nobody wants to see that.

(http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y153/Meiintas/GIGGLES.jpg)

:spittake:
Now I need to wipe down my monitor. :argh!:
Title: Re: Japanese Scientists Take Your Poop and Make
Post by: Disco Pickle on June 22, 2011, 02:09:47 AM
It's gotten to the point where the headline "Japanese Scientists Discover..." is one of the scariest things on the planet.  Nothing good has recently followed the words "Japanese Scientists Discover"
Title: Re: Japanese Scientists Take Your Poop and Make
Post by: Doktor Howl on June 22, 2011, 02:53:49 AM
Quote from: Disco Pickle on June 22, 2011, 02:09:47 AM
It's gotten to the point where the headline "Japanese Scientists Discover..." is one of the scariest things on the planet.  Nothing good has recently followed the words "Japanese Scientists Discover"

Balls.  Headlines from google below.

"Japanese scientists discover genes that enable type-2 diabetes" --->  They're making diabetics faster & more efficiently now, through the wonders of SCIENCE!

Japanese Scientists Discover New Planet  --->  We now have .88 more planets we'll never go to.

Scientists discover deepest-living fish (no, you can't eat it as sushi) --->  Because we needed more aquatic horror shows.

Japanese Scientists Discover Yet Another Taste --->  There is now one more way for things to taste like ass!

Japanese Scientists Discover Secret Of Dolphin Speed  --->  Soon to be applied to condoms!

Scientists Discover Giant Holes in the Sun --->  Yep, the sun sprung a leak.  We're all fucked.

There's plenty more, too.


Title: Re: Japanese Scientists Take Your Poop and Make
Post by: Lord Cataplanga on June 22, 2011, 03:18:55 AM
The Yes Men already made a parody of this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RRDLzxFXjY) a few years ago.

How long until Japanese Scientists discover how to make Vivoleum (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Yes_Men#ExxonMobil)?

Title: Re: Japanese Scientists Take Your Poop and Make
Post by: BabylonHoruv on June 22, 2011, 06:14:45 AM
Unless they bring the price down to considerably below that of real meat I can't see this going anywhere.  Although it might sell to some vegetarians.  Environmentalists just aren't that dedicated,usually, and coprophiliacs want it to taste like shit.
Title: Re: Japanese Scientists Take Your Poop and Make
Post by: Jenne on June 22, 2011, 08:29:58 PM
Might grab people who DON'T KNOW what it is.  "It's a new-fangled recipe by them Pharmaceutical companies.  Called 'Nu-Beefe.' Says here it's got electrolytes and Omega-5s."
Title: Re: Japanese Scientists Take Your Poop and Make
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on June 22, 2011, 08:34:11 PM
:vom:
Title: Re: Japanese Scientists Take Your Poop and Make
Post by: Jenne on June 22, 2011, 09:18:10 PM
Oh, they'll add calcium and fiber, as well, I bet.

:lulz:  If they REALLY wanted to market it, they'd sell it as a fad diet.

"SHITBURGER DIET--GET SKINNY EATING SHIT-for-BEEF!"
Title: Re: Japanese Scientists Take Your Poop and Make
Post by: Telarus on June 23, 2011, 12:49:20 AM
Whole new meaning to "Shit on a Shingle", eh?
Title: Re: Japanese Scientists Take Your Poop and Make
Post by: Jenne on June 23, 2011, 03:26:45 PM
Quote from: Telarus on June 23, 2011, 12:49:20 AM
Whole new meaning to "Shit on a Shingle", eh?

Aw, man...and I used to LIKE that dish.  :lulz:
Title: Re: Japanese Scientists Take Your Poop and Make
Post by: Cramulus on June 23, 2011, 06:48:29 PM

(http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2007/07/31/michaelcostner_narrowweb__300x416,2.jpg)

Now visualize the opening scene of Waterworld --
--  but Kevin Costner has one of these machines instead of the device that turns pee into drinkable water.

Title: Re: Japanese Scientists Take Your Poop and Make
Post by: Captain Swampass on June 23, 2011, 07:07:44 PM
I'm going to start taking bets on how long it'll take for Taco Bell to stick this stuff inside of their mexican themed cardboard!
Title: Re: Japanese Scientists Take Your Poop and Make
Post by: LMNO on June 23, 2011, 07:09:34 PM
Quote from: Captain Swampass on June 23, 2011, 07:07:44 PM
I'm going to start taking bets on how long it'll take for Taco Bell to stick this stuff inside of their mexican themed cardboard!

My guess?  Twelve years ago.
Title: Re: Japanese Scientists Take Your Poop and Make
Post by: Jenne on June 24, 2011, 08:52:08 PM
:lulz:  True dat.

Ugh.  I bet they come out with flavorings, too.  Like BBQ Beef, Fish-flavor, and Lemon Pepper Chicken.

:lulz:

They can sell it to vegans as "went in as pure vegetable."  :lulz:  Though my husband claims, microbiology being what it is...there's gonna be some protein cells in there.  They hitch a ride in the processing, apparently...
Title: Re: Japanese Scientists Take Your Poop and Make
Post by: AFK on June 24, 2011, 09:12:26 PM
All you need is a tall frothy glass of Jenkem to wash it all down. 
Title: Re: Japanese Scientists Take Your Poop and Make
Post by: Triple Zero on June 25, 2011, 04:18:35 PM
Quote from: Jenne on June 24, 2011, 08:52:08 PM
They can sell it to vegans as "went in as pure vegetable."  :lulz:  Though my husband claims, microbiology being what it is...there's gonna be some protein cells in there.  They hitch a ride in the processing, apparently...

That's actually what they made it from. At least, if I understand the article correctly, they filter out the proteins from the sewage and make meat from that. So it's not really like recycled food, but more like recycled dead intestinal flora.



I'm fairly sure it would go great if you mix it with Bud and tomato juice.
Title: Re: Japanese Scientists Take Your Poop and Make
Post by: Luna on June 25, 2011, 04:22:41 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on June 25, 2011, 04:18:35 PM
Quote from: Jenne on June 24, 2011, 08:52:08 PM
They can sell it to vegans as "went in as pure vegetable."  :lulz:  Though my husband claims, microbiology being what it is...there's gonna be some protein cells in there.  They hitch a ride in the processing, apparently...

That's actually what they made it from. At least, if I understand the article correctly, they filter out the proteins from the sewage and make meat from that. So it's not really like recycled food, but more like recycled dead intestinal flora.



I'm fairly sure it would go great if you mix it with Bud and tomato juice.

:vom:
Title: Re: Japanese Scientists Take Your Poop and Make
Post by: Jenne on June 28, 2011, 03:13:09 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on June 25, 2011, 04:18:35 PM
Quote from: Jenne on June 24, 2011, 08:52:08 PM
They can sell it to vegans as "went in as pure vegetable."  :lulz:  Though my husband claims, microbiology being what it is...there's gonna be some protein cells in there.  They hitch a ride in the processing, apparently...

That's actually what they made it from. At least, if I understand the article correctly, they filter out the proteins from the sewage and make meat from that. So it's not really like recycled food, but more like recycled dead intestinal flora.



I'm fairly sure it would go great if you mix it with Bud and tomato juice.

Not a chance of it.  :D