For those commercials selling stuff "AS SEEN ON TV!"
I fantasize about how all these gadgets will improve my life and make it more meaningful. Especially the products with "Official" in the title. Those ones are extra special.
My current favorite is this: Aluma Wallet! (https://www.officialalumawallet.com/Default.aspx?did=399&refcode=alumawallet)
Why? Because not only does it store all my credit cards, cash, and other crap. Not only is it nearly indestructible. Not only does it protect my credit cards with RFID chips from being scanned by unsavory characters . . .
But it's a handy weapon against those pesky Nessies.
I saw the e-mail for this and immediately thought of Charley Brown's Nessie plot-twist.
Is that wrong?
Christ. I need one of those.
Get a cigarette case?
Quote from: Your Evil Stepmother on June 22, 2011, 01:37:20 AM
Christ. I need one of those.
Jo-Ann Fabrics and Crafts typically have a "As Seen On TV" section. I'm tempted to meander towards mine and see if they've gotten these in yet. 40% off coupon. :D
Women are so silly. :)
I don't know what you're talking about. :roll:
-Suu
Owns 7 pairs of black boots.
3 Designer Handbags.
Has about $500 in makeup in her drawer.
NEEDS STUPID UGLY WALLET! WITH JOANN'S COUPONS!!
I get annoyed by the "as seen on tv" shit because once you buy it/see it, you realize it's cheapass Chinese junk.
SO not worth your $19.99.
Official Better Life Gadget with Optional Extra Tools!
$1199.99 + P&P
BUY NOW LIMITED STOCK ONLY
I think my favorite part about stupid nick-nacks like that is the opening part of the commercial where it shows, in black and white, people who are obviously either morons or suffering from motor skill dysfunction fumbling with some incredibly basic task.
Quote from: Cainad on June 22, 2011, 01:56:38 PM
I think my favorite part about stupid nick-nacks like that is the opening part of the commercial where it shows, in black and white, people who are obviously either morons or suffering from motor skill dysfunction fumbling with some incredibly basic task.
This one right here.
"Tired of performing rudimentary tasks? Is applying a couple of pounds of pressure with your hands way too difficult and unwieldy? Well we have the gadget for you!"
...I attribute that to the fact the boomers are aging and so need more things to help them ease into old age. Arthritis makes opening pop top cans and jars hard--so they need a plastic widget that can do BOAF for $9.99. Plus something that cuts avocadoes into neat slices and pits them for you at the same time. Act now, and they can get the thingie that cuts pies into wedges that's only slightly larger than the avocado one. Call in the next 20 minutes, and they'll ship TWO of EVERYTHING.
That doesn't explain the Snuggy and how somehow getting your hands from beneath a blanket to reach the remote is somehow an arduous task. :lulz:
but it lead to this wonderful book :lulz:
(http://posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/guykawasaki/nHIklaBovsCHeevtthCbsHanbfyrbbqCEdovlFjIkyDFysojyxIgddbGxChj/media_httpcachegawker_AAaxh.jpg.scaled500.jpg)
The Snuggie is just one of those "hey you fat lazy tard who doesn't wanna get dressed--wear this INSTEAD!" sorta cultural phenomena. Bill Maher did a GREAT riff on that with the Shamwow marrying the Snuggie--SnugWow, I think it was called.
Quote from: The Fred ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on June 22, 2011, 03:33:46 PM
but it lead to this wonderful book :lulz:
(http://posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/guykawasaki/nHIklaBovsCHeevtthCbsHanbfyrbbqCEdovlFjIkyDFysojyxIgddbGxChj/media_httpcachegawker_AAaxh.jpg.scaled500.jpg)
I love it! :lulz:
I have this mental image of two fat people in a leopard print snuggie rolling around on the floor. It would look like a massive leopard cluster fuck. :lulz:
Quote from: The Fred ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on June 22, 2011, 03:33:46 PM
but it lead to this wonderful book :lulz:
(http://posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/guykawasaki/nHIklaBovsCHeevtthCbsHanbfyrbbqCEdovlFjIkyDFysojyxIgddbGxChj/media_httpcachegawker_AAaxh.jpg.scaled500.jpg)
:mittens:
The SnugWow:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FXqtMkBipIs
Quote from: Khara on June 22, 2011, 03:35:57 PM
Quote from: The Fred ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on June 22, 2011, 03:33:46 PM
but it lead to this wonderful book :lulz:
(http://posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/guykawasaki/nHIklaBovsCHeevtthCbsHanbfyrbbqCEdovlFjIkyDFysojyxIgddbGxChj/media_httpcachegawker_AAaxh.jpg.scaled500.jpg)
I love it! :lulz:
I have this mental image of two fat people in a leopard print snuggie rolling around on the floor. It would look like a massive leopard cluster fuck. :lulz:
This thread just took a very awesome turn. That's fucking hilarious!
Quote from: Jenne on June 22, 2011, 03:37:16 PM
The SnugWow:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FXqtMkBipIs
:spittake:
Quote from: Cainad on June 22, 2011, 01:56:38 PM
I think my favorite part about stupid nick-nacks like that is the opening part of the commercial where it shows, in black and white, people who are obviously either morons or suffering from motor skill dysfunction fumbling with some incredibly basic task.
OMGAWD HOW DOES THIS NORMAL WALLET WORK? THANK GAWD FOR ALUMA WALLET!
Quote from: Cainad on June 22, 2011, 01:56:38 PM
I think my favorite part about stupid nick-nacks like that is the opening part of the commercial where it shows, in black and white, people who are obviously either morons or suffering from motor skill dysfunction fumbling with some incredibly basic task.
I love this part in commercials for knives.
Some day they will show someone losing an arm trying to butter toast or something. Which is why they need THE BETTER BUTTERER! Guaranteed to spread butter or anything spreadable evenly across any given surface without the potential for DANGEROUS INJURIES.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 23, 2011, 02:37:46 AM
Quote from: Cainad on June 22, 2011, 01:56:38 PM
I think my favorite part about stupid nick-nacks like that is the opening part of the commercial where it shows, in black and white, people who are obviously either morons or suffering from motor skill dysfunction fumbling with some incredibly basic task.
I love this part in commercials for knives.
Some day they will show someone losing an arm trying to butter toast or something. Which is why they need THE BETTER BUTTERER! Guaranteed to spread butter or anything spreadable evenly across any given surface without the potential for DANGEROUS INJURIES.
"Ever notice how bowling balls always seem to land on your feet?"
I always wanted to start a business called Truckload of Mexicans that would have commercials featuring white people being hopeless at simple tasks and breaking their fingers trying to use a screwdriver. The end of the commercial would feature them standing on their porch waving goodbye, saying "Thank you, Truckload of Mexicans!".
This might be less funny in towns without a significant Mexican day-labor demographic.
Quote from: Your Mom on June 23, 2011, 03:02:58 AM
I always wanted to start a business called Truckload of Mexicans that would have commercials featuring white people being hopeless at simple tasks and breaking their fingers trying to use a screwdriver. The end of the commercial would feature them standing on their porch waving goodbye, saying "Thank you, Truckload of Mexicans!".
This might be less funny in towns without a significant Mexican day-labor demographic.
:lulz:
I just pissed myself.
Am going to anonymously add them to the approved vendor list at work tomorrow.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 23, 2011, 03:04:14 AM
Quote from: Your Mom on June 23, 2011, 03:02:58 AM
I always wanted to start a business called Truckload of Mexicans that would have commercials featuring white people being hopeless at simple tasks and breaking their fingers trying to use a screwdriver. The end of the commercial would feature them standing on their porch waving goodbye, saying "Thank you, Truckload of Mexicans!".
This might be less funny in towns without a significant Mexican day-labor demographic.
:lulz:
I just pissed myself.
Am going to anonymously add them to the approved vendor list at work tomorrow.
YESSSSSS
:awesome:
Quote from: Your Mom on June 23, 2011, 03:07:31 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 23, 2011, 03:04:14 AM
Quote from: Your Mom on June 23, 2011, 03:02:58 AM
I always wanted to start a business called Truckload of Mexicans that would have commercials featuring white people being hopeless at simple tasks and breaking their fingers trying to use a screwdriver. The end of the commercial would feature them standing on their porch waving goodbye, saying "Thank you, Truckload of Mexicans!".
This might be less funny in towns without a significant Mexican day-labor demographic.
:lulz:
I just pissed myself.
Am going to anonymously add them to the approved vendor list at work tomorrow.
YESSSSSS
:awesome:
We need to make this commercial happen.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 23, 2011, 05:50:52 AM
Quote from: Your Mom on June 23, 2011, 03:07:31 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 23, 2011, 03:04:14 AM
Quote from: Your Mom on June 23, 2011, 03:02:58 AM
I always wanted to start a business called Truckload of Mexicans that would have commercials featuring white people being hopeless at simple tasks and breaking their fingers trying to use a screwdriver. The end of the commercial would feature them standing on their porch waving goodbye, saying "Thank you, Truckload of Mexicans!".
This might be less funny in towns without a significant Mexican day-labor demographic.
:lulz:
I just pissed myself.
Am going to anonymously add them to the approved vendor list at work tomorrow.
YESSSSSS
:awesome:
We need to make this commercial happen.
Hmmm. I kind of agree.
It would be a super-low-budget commercial even if it were real, and I know people in film school, and have connections at the day labor center...
If you can sneak it on TV, all the better.