Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: Cramulus on June 30, 2011, 03:36:28 PM

Title: JOIN PROGRESS QUEST OR SUCK FOREVER
Post by: Cramulus on June 30, 2011, 03:36:28 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on May 14, 2008, 08:21:47 PM
Progress Quest

(http://progressquest.com/pq.gif)

http://www.progressquest.com/dl.php

I can't even explain this game. It's the perfect game.

It's essentially every good thing about MMOs
--cool gear, good choice of race/class, interesting monsters, a twisting plot, zillions of magic spells, etc etc
without any of the bad things about MMOs
--lag time, bad graphics, losing XP for dying, paying money, developing carpal tunnel syndrome from clicking the same goddamn monster 450 times in a row just so you can get better at clicking on monsters

essentially they strip out all the crap. All that's left is PROGRESS.

This is the sort of game you can play at work.
I've been playing nonstop since last May. My name is Commander Blorp. I'm a level 78 Eel Man Bastard Lunatic.

Other race choices include Demicanadian, Double-Hobbit, and Enchanted Motorcycle
Other class choices include hunter-strangler, tickle-mimic, and robot monk


I reccommend trying out a Talking Pony Battle-Felon.


http://progressquest.com/

I am starting a new character.

My name is Cramus, (pronounced "cramoo")

I am a Land Squid Robot Monk

I'm on the Spoltog server. and I started a guild called The Spaglords (just "spaglords" for short). Once you're on, press Ctrl+G and type "Spaglords"



You guys should download the PQ client and join up! I will race you to Level 1075103597

I know what you're asking:

Is this actually a game?

It is, but
only in the loosest sense of the word.
Title: Re: JOIN PROGRESS QUEST OR SUCK FOREVER
Post by: Sita on June 30, 2011, 03:45:18 PM
I used to play this all the time but multiple re-installs had made me forget about it. Might re-install it when I get a new computer.

Yes, I know it doesn't do much but this damned thing is over heating just visiting forums let alone running anything :(
Title: Re: JOIN PROGRESS QUEST OR SUCK FOREVER
Post by: Cramulus on June 30, 2011, 03:51:19 PM
check it out - they've got a browser plugin now! http://www.progressquest.com/play/

I'M ALMOST UP TO LEVEL 2

CRAMUS KNOW KNOWS THE "GYP" SPELL

I'm on a quest to deliver a pole but all these rot grubs keep getting in my way. So I'm executing them with my sharp stick, but the guts are getting all over my lace hauberk and pie plate shield.

A passing crested dwarf puma burgler just got a face full of my CONE OF ANNOYANCE spell. Take that, spagwad!


Please note that I haven't even touched this game since I created my character.
Title: Re: JOIN PROGRESS QUEST OR SUCK FOREVER
Post by: Phox on June 30, 2011, 11:20:50 PM
So, I'm Phox, Demicanadian Hunter Strangler. Best race/class combination ever invented.  :lulz:
Title: Re: JOIN PROGRESS QUEST OR SUCK FOREVER
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on July 02, 2011, 03:24:07 AM
I'm Cretgrouk, the demicanadian vermineer.
Title: Re: JOIN PROGRESS QUEST OR SUCK FOREVER
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on July 03, 2011, 05:04:04 PM
<--- sucks forever due to excessive MacFaggotry
Title: Re: JOIN PROGRESS QUEST OR SUCK FOREVER
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on July 03, 2011, 05:08:44 PM
Quote from: Cainad on July 03, 2011, 05:04:04 PM
<--- sucks forever due to excessive MacFaggotry

:? Teh browser version works great on my Mac.
Title: Re: JOIN PROGRESS QUEST OR SUCK FOREVER
Post by: trix on July 03, 2011, 08:52:38 PM
I'm trix, the boring Will O' the Wisp Mage Illusioner. Mainly because my stats were conducive to it.

1/2 way thru level 4, with some bad ass spells like lvl  2 Cone of Annoyance and lvl 2 Shoelaces.

I also have Good Move, Aqueous Humor, and my favorite, Rabbit Punch!

Hell yes.  This game rawks
Title: Re: JOIN PROGRESS QUEST OR SUCK FOREVER
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on July 04, 2011, 07:45:23 PM
Quote from: DANGEROUS DOPE FIEND on July 03, 2011, 05:08:44 PM
Quote from: Cainad on July 03, 2011, 05:04:04 PM
<--- sucks forever due to excessive MacFaggotry

:? Teh browser version works great on my Mac.

WOAH THERE'S A BROWSER VERSION?!?!

*clicks*

Hot damn! I am Vundrog, the Gyrognome Bastard Lunatic.
Title: Re: JOIN PROGRESS QUEST OR SUCK FOREVER
Post by: Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on July 04, 2011, 08:45:33 PM
ok i joined and its just sitting there with bars loading and giving me stuff

NOW WAT?

I'm a Skraeling Hunter-Strangler
Title: Re: JOIN PROGRESS QUEST OR SUCK FOREVER
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on July 04, 2011, 09:20:09 PM
Quote from: The Fred ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on July 04, 2011, 08:45:33 PM
ok i joined and its just sitting there with bars loading and giving me stuff

NOW WAT?

I'm a Skraeling Hunter-Strangler

That's it! You're playing.
Title: Re: JOIN PROGRESS QUEST OR SUCK FOREVER
Post by: Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on July 04, 2011, 09:21:04 PM
thats all?! lol...easiest game evar
Title: Re: JOIN PROGRESS QUEST OR SUCK FOREVER
Post by: Luna on July 04, 2011, 11:41:48 PM
Whee!  I made it to level 35 while I was off watching Pirates of the Caribbean number whateverthefuckthey'reuptonow.   :D
Title: Re: JOIN PROGRESS QUEST OR SUCK FOREVER
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on July 05, 2011, 03:04:43 AM
I'm level 6! I successfully exterminated the Eagle Scouts and can cast Level IV Slime Finger!
Title: Re: JOIN PROGRESS QUEST OR SUCK FOREVER
Post by: Luna on July 05, 2011, 04:41:29 AM
I've successfully executed a rubber golem, and harvested a rubber golem ball.

I swear.

Looking back at what else happened while I was out watching Suu's neighbors try to set their own testicles on fire, I find I really don't want to know about the "cheese elemental curd," the "black pudding saliva," and I ESPECIALLY don't want to know anything about the "lurker sac" immediately following the "trapper shag."
Title: Re: JOIN PROGRESS QUEST OR SUCK FOREVER
Post by: Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on July 05, 2011, 05:49:10 AM
hrmm im prob gonna quit this in a day or so since i dont get to actually DO anything, its taking up my browser's think time.
i am nearing level 7 tho
Title: Re: JOIN PROGRESS QUEST OR SUCK FOREVER
Post by: Cramulus on July 05, 2011, 03:56:09 PM
I want to remind everybody to hit ctrl+G and join the guild "Spaglords".

I'm currently running 3 characters:

Cramus
At least Im not a Butt Juggler
Caldathoronaxionius Jr

you can see where you are in the global ranking by pressing ctrl+B

you can declare a motto which other people can see by pressing ctrl+M

that's about as interactive as it gets! Your character will go on fantastic and epic adventures and you don't even need to pay attention. I left Cramus running on my work computer over the weekend and he gained like 15 levels.
Title: Re: JOIN PROGRESS QUEST OR SUCK FOREVER
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on July 05, 2011, 04:09:44 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on July 05, 2011, 03:56:09 PM
I want to remind everybody to hit ctrl+G and join the guild "Spaglords".

I'm currently running 3 characters:

Cramus
At least Im not a Butt Juggler
Caldathoronaxionius Jr

you can see where you are in the global ranking by pressing ctrl+B

you can declare a motto which other people can see by pressing ctrl+M

that's about as interactive as it gets! Your character will go on fantastic and epic adventures and you don't even need to pay attention. I left Cramus running on my work computer over the weekend and he gained like 15 levels.

Doesn't seem to work with the browser version. :( Or maybe just not the Mac browser version.
Title: Re: JOIN PROGRESS QUEST OR SUCK FOREVER
Post by: Cramulus on July 05, 2011, 04:12:19 PM
ahh - looks like the browser version is "single player only"  :lol:
Title: Re: JOIN PROGRESS QUEST OR SUCK FOREVER
Post by: Cuddlefish on July 07, 2011, 01:02:27 AM
Ok, this is almost the greatest game ever. Cuddles the Fish, landsquid, tickle mimic.

Is there a way to review a log of things that happen, or do you just have to be watching?
Title: Re: JOIN PROGRESS QUEST OR SUCK FOREVER
Post by: Luna on July 07, 2011, 02:12:29 AM
Quote from: Cuddleshift on July 07, 2011, 01:02:27 AM
Ok, this is almost the greatest game ever. Cuddles the Fish, landsquid, tickle mimic.

Is there a way to review a log of things that happen, or do you just have to be watching?

Mostly, I just catch amusing things when I see it, haven't found a log.
Title: Re: JOIN PROGRESS QUEST OR SUCK FOREVER
Post by: Cramulus on July 07, 2011, 02:12:34 PM
Quote from: Cuddleshift on July 07, 2011, 01:02:27 AM
Ok, this is almost the greatest game ever. Cuddles the Fish, landsquid, tickle mimic.

Is there a way to review a log of things that happen, or do you just have to be watching?

There is a quest log on the right side of the screen, right beneath the "plot development" pane.


Cramus is currently level 49, and is battling 3 comatose platinum dragons with his +30 pronged vorpal culverin.
Title: Re: JOIN PROGRESS QUEST OR SUCK FOREVER
Post by: Luna on July 07, 2011, 02:18:36 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on July 07, 2011, 02:12:34 PM
Quote from: Cuddleshift on July 07, 2011, 01:02:27 AM
Ok, this is almost the greatest game ever. Cuddles the Fish, landsquid, tickle mimic.

Is there a way to review a log of things that happen, or do you just have to be watching?

There is a quest log on the right side of the screen, right beneath the "plot development" pane.


Cramus is currently level 49, and is battling 3 comatose platinum dragons with his +30 pronged vorpal culverin.

I think he's looking for a log of each individual battle.
Title: Re: JOIN PROGRESS QUEST OR SUCK FOREVER
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on July 07, 2011, 03:23:03 PM
Some of you guys advance really fast. It takes me days to go up a level.
Title: Re: JOIN PROGRESS QUEST OR SUCK FOREVER
Post by: Cramulus on July 07, 2011, 03:26:24 PM
What can I say? I am a highly skilled progress quest player.
Title: Re: JOIN PROGRESS QUEST OR SUCK FOREVER
Post by: Luna on July 07, 2011, 03:44:28 PM
It takes dedication and time investment.  I log more hours in PQ than in Warcraft, now.
Title: Re: JOIN PROGRESS QUEST OR SUCK FOREVER
Post by: Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on July 07, 2011, 03:51:57 PM
yeah i gave up. too many open browser stuffs
Title: Re: JOIN PROGRESS QUEST OR SUCK FOREVER
Post by: Cramulus on July 07, 2011, 03:56:08 PM
Here's another trick ---

when you create a character, one of your stats will probably be slightly higher than the others. The game considers this your "primary" stat.

When you level up, you gain a point in one of your stats. Odds are, it'll be your primary one.


NONE of the stats matter except Strength. Strength is the only stat that has any bearing on the game whatsoever because it determines how many items you can carry before you have to go back to town and sell everything.

So if STR is your highest stat, it means that you spend more time in the killing fields and less time negotiating for new gear. Not a TON of time, mind you. Up until level 30, you're basically saving like 10 seconds every few minutes. But if you're running the game for weeks at a time, it adds up.
Title: Re: JOIN PROGRESS QUEST OR SUCK FOREVER
Post by: Triple Zero on July 07, 2011, 04:21:45 PM
So how do you get a higher STR ?
Title: Re: JOIN PROGRESS QUEST OR SUCK FOREVER
Post by: Cain on July 07, 2011, 04:23:13 PM
Steroids.
Title: Re: JOIN PROGRESS QUEST OR SUCK FOREVER
Post by: Cramulus on July 07, 2011, 04:27:13 PM
When making your character, Click Roll like 200 times until you have a 17 or 18 STR
Title: Re: JOIN PROGRESS QUEST OR SUCK FOREVER
Post by: Triple Zero on July 07, 2011, 05:02:41 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on July 07, 2011, 04:27:13 PM
When making your character, Click Roll like 200 times until you have a 17 or 18 STR

EFFORT. I KNEW IT!! :argh!:
Title: Re: JOIN PROGRESS QUEST OR SUCK FOREVER
Post by: Elder Iptuous on July 07, 2011, 05:15:40 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on July 07, 2011, 05:02:41 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on July 07, 2011, 04:27:13 PM
When making your character, Click Roll like 200 times until you have a 17 or 18 STR

EFFORT. I KNEW IT!! :argh!:

well, when i typed in "progress que" into the google bar, the second recommendation was "progress quest cheat", so i'm guessing someone has solved your problem...
Title: Re: JOIN PROGRESS QUEST OR SUCK FOREVER
Post by: Cramulus on January 10, 2012, 07:37:31 PM
Update: I haven't stopped running Progress Quest since I started this thread. I am now level 73. My highest level spell is "Cone of Paste". I'm on Act XXXVII and am wielding a +62 Pronged Polished Morning Star.

Once a week or so, I click on the progress quest icon in my system tray and feel like I'M GETTING SOMETHING DONE.