Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Literate Chaotic => Topic started by: Zurtok Khan on September 20, 2004, 05:34:03 AM

Title: The Discordian Book of Juju
Post by: Zurtok Khan on September 20, 2004, 05:34:03 AM
And behold!  Eris came to me in the shower whilst I was touching myself and told me to write the Discordian Book of Juju that all mayst disregard it's non-message to humanity on the state of Magickkkkk.

Of course, this all happened a few months ago, and in proper style I'm not getting around to until now.  That intro sucked goat balls.

The TP ritual:

Sit down on a cold, hard bathroom floor.

Stand up, and go get a roll of toilet paper.

Sit back down on the cold, hard bathroom floor.

Stand up, and go get chopsticks.

Sit back down in the same spot.

Stand up, and go get a ballpoint pen (working or not, its up to you).

Take one peice of toilet paper and set it on the ground.

Take chopsticks in hand and pick up pen.

Without ripping the TP (if you rip it use another sheet, you may need many rolls) write the name of a person you hate on it.  Or anyone else for that matter.

After you've succeeded in writting the name on the toilet paper, wipe your ass.

Repeat as often as neccisary.

Who wants to help me write more?  Who thinks I'm an asshole?
Title: The Discordian Book of Juju
Post by: MedeoPlusPlus on September 20, 2004, 05:56:38 AM
Quote from: Gigglin Buddha the PenisAnd behold!  Eris came to me in the shower whilst I was touching myself and told me to write the Discordian Book of Juju that all mayst disregard it's non-message to humanity on the state of Magickkkkk.

Of course, this all happened a few months ago, and in proper style I'm not getting around to until now.  That intro sucked goat balls.

The TP ritual:

Sit down on a cold, hard bathroom floor.

Stand up, and go get a roll of toilet paper.

Sit back down on the cold, hard bathroom floor.

Stand up, and go get chopsticks.

Sit back down in the same spot.

Stand up, and go get a ballpoint pen (working or not, its up to you).

Take one peice of toilet paper and set it on the ground.

Take chopsticks in hand and pick up pen.

Without ripping the TP (if you rip it use another sheet, you may need many rolls) write the name of a person you hate on it.  Or anyone else for that matter.

After you've succeeded in writting the name on the toilet paper, wipe your ass.

Repeat as often as neccisary.

Who wants to help me write more?  Who thinks I'm an asshole?

1. I think you're an asshole. But it's okay, you're among friends.

2. Personally, I find it difficult to wipe my ass with a single sheet of TP- could I do a variation where I use several dozen sheets, then roll them up into a ball before the final step?
Title: The Discordian Book of Juju
Post by: Horab Fibslager on September 20, 2004, 08:27:36 AM
Quote from: Medeo
Quote from: Gigglin Buddha the PenisAnd behold!  Eris came to me in the shower whilst I was touching myself and told me to write the Discordian Book of Juju that all mayst disregard it's non-message to humanity on the state of Magickkkkk.

Of course, this all happened a few months ago, and in proper style I'm not getting around to until now.  That intro sucked goat balls.

The TP ritual:

Sit down on a cold, hard bathroom floor.

Stand up, and go get a roll of toilet paper.

Sit back down on the cold, hard bathroom floor.

Stand up, and go get chopsticks.

Sit back down in the same spot.

Stand up, and go get a ballpoint pen (working or not, its up to you).

Take one peice of toilet paper and set it on the ground.

Take chopsticks in hand and pick up pen.

Without ripping the TP (if you rip it use another sheet, you may need many rolls) write the name of a person you hate on it.  Or anyone else for that matter.

After you've succeeded in writting the name on the toilet paper, wipe your ass.

Repeat as often as neccisary.

Who wants to help me write more?  Who thinks I'm an asshole?

1. I think you're an asshole. But it's okay, you're among friends.

2. Personally, I find it difficult to wipe my ass with a single sheet of TP- could I do a variation where I use several dozen sheets, then roll them up into a ball before the final step?

treekiller!
Title: The Discordian Book of Juju
Post by: MedeoPlusPlus on September 20, 2004, 09:58:10 PM
Quote from: Horab Fibslagertreekiller!

Treemonster!
Title: The Discordian Book of Juju
Post by: Horab Fibslager on September 20, 2004, 10:03:16 PM
hey i jsut smokem! at least i don't use multiple sheets fo toilet paper in soem vulgar act of anti-arborealism!
Title: The Discordian Book of Juju
Post by: MedeoPlusPlus on September 20, 2004, 10:15:05 PM
I'm from the US of A, pal. Thoughtlessly wasting natural resources is our modus operandi.
Title: The Discordian Book of Juju
Post by: Horab Fibslager on September 20, 2004, 10:21:46 PM
it's all about conquerign oen's environemnt by laying waste to it with whoel sale slaughter eh?
Title: The Discordian Book of Juju
Post by: MedeoPlusPlus on September 20, 2004, 10:26:28 PM
Hey, whatever works.

(Which may or may not be what we're doing right now (the second one), but unfortunately most Americans are too busy caring who wins on the new Survivor series and whom J-Lo sells her ass to next to give a flying fuck.)
Title: The Discordian Book of Juju
Post by: Horab Fibslager on September 20, 2004, 10:53:04 PM
of ocurse, indifference buffed by ignorance, buffed by pantheonism. meet the new roman empire.
Title: The Discordian Book of Juju
Post by: MedeoPlusPlus on September 20, 2004, 10:55:59 PM
O tempora, o mores.
Title: The Discordian Book of Juju
Post by: Horab Fibslager on September 21, 2004, 12:25:01 AM
zealousness in gluttony and lust only makes the barbarian savages bolder.
Title: The Discordian Book of Juju
Post by: Zurtok Khan on September 21, 2004, 06:58:45 AM
QuoteO tempora, o mores.

You make me want to eat fried food.

But, humorously (and maybe even a bit seriously) anyone want to help me write the book of absurd rituals and kinky paradox's?  If I actually take the time to write something good...well, it turns out good.

And FYI, I'm handing it over to www.irreality.com when its done (if it ever gets there).  Mrrrr.
Title: The Discordian Book of Juju
Post by: Horab Fibslager on September 21, 2004, 07:15:06 AM
i can throw a few your way.
Title: The Discordian Book of Juju
Post by: B_M_W on October 23, 2004, 03:47:20 AM
Why do you think anybody would like to read about your fantasies?

Are you as disgusting as I think you are?
Title: The Discordian Book of Juju
Post by: East Coast Hustle on October 23, 2004, 04:23:22 AM
am I a bad person for using 4 times as much TP as I need?  

didn't you already ask him that in an earlier post?

8)