(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/cf/CaseyJones.jpg)
John Luther "Casey" Jones (March 14, 1863 – April 30, 1900) was a Goddamn rock n roller. He was famed for being the fastest engineer in the Midwest, and he was comsumed with ways to go faster (bear in mind that during his lifetime, the maximum speed attainable was about 90MPH, so you can understand his frustration). On April 30th, 1900, he started an hour behind, and making up time at about 80MPH in the middle of the night.
At the town of Vahaugn there was a traffic jam up on the rails, accompanied by a dense fog. Jones' Fireman, Simeon T. Webb, who had a better view than he did, hollered at one curve,"Oh my Lord, there's something on the main line!". Casey was, of course, determined to take things to the wall. "JUMP, ETHEL!" he hollered
1. Webb jumped off 300 feet before impact, and was knocked unconscious.
Casey hit the wall, whistle blaring, and went into legend (Well, he actually went into the boiler, but why quibble over details?). On the plus side, he was at this point only 2 minutes behind schedule, which is nothing to sneeze at. So, yeah, he DID supposedly die, but he left a HELL of an impression on Mississippi (according to Wikipedia, the imprint of his locomotive was clearly visible in the adjacent embankment for 10 years after the wreck). And at some point just prior to the wreck, someone fired torpedoes at him
2, but he STILL made it to the wall.
Some say he was killed by a wooden splinter through the head, some say a bolt through the neck, others say he was scalded to death by the steam. You know what I say?
I say "Who cares?" The man knew the same craving for speed that I feel more or less all the time. He knew about "damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead". He knew about rock n roll, and he'd never have put up with shit like we see today. He'd have run a motherfucker down, then hit his stop - on time - to pick up Elvis and Hank and Roy Orbison.
And they'd have gone full blast, right for the wall.
Okay for now,
Dok
1 Webb was testing his personal boundaries, and would only answer to "Ethel". We're not here to judge.
2 For real. Check the wikipedia page, under "Illinois Central Railroad report on accident". Some bastard fired torpedoes at him, but the were unable to sink his locomotive.
Holy shit, it's real and not a bunch of lore...
FUCKIN A. :D
TO
THE
FUCKING
WALL.
Awesome.
Why the hell didn't I learn this in sch- Ah nevermind, sort of figured that out myself.
To the WALL!!!!
Torpedoes? Don't they need water to be torpedoes? And be able to move?
Quote from: Jenkem and SPACE/TIME on August 16, 2011, 12:53:52 AM
Torpedoes? Don't they need water to be torpedoes? And be able to move?
This was back in the old days, you see, when torpedoes still had wheels.
This would be back in the year dot, yes? :lulz:
Either way, the story itself is amazing, and the rant is top-quality. :mittens:
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 16, 2011, 01:03:37 AM
Quote from: Jenkem and SPACE/TIME on August 16, 2011, 12:53:52 AM
Torpedoes? Don't they need water to be torpedoes? And be able to move?
This was back in the old days, you see, when torpedoes still had wheels.
Before or after water was in beta test?
Quote from: COL Coyote on August 16, 2011, 01:43:03 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 16, 2011, 01:03:37 AM
Quote from: Jenkem and SPACE/TIME on August 16, 2011, 12:53:52 AM
Torpedoes? Don't they need water to be torpedoes? And be able to move?
This was back in the old days, you see, when torpedoes still had wheels.
Before or after water was in beta test?
The beta was when they had a horse drag it.
Not popular with the cowboys.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 16, 2011, 02:02:18 AM
Quote from: COL Coyote on August 16, 2011, 01:43:03 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 16, 2011, 01:03:37 AM
Quote from: Jenkem and SPACE/TIME on August 16, 2011, 12:53:52 AM
Torpedoes? Don't they need water to be torpedoes? And be able to move?
This was back in the old days, you see, when torpedoes still had wheels.
Before or after water was in beta test?
The beta was when they had a horse drag it.
Not popular with the cowboys.
Why? They were refusing to use good American Bovine labor in the early stages of anti-railway warfare?
Awesome tale, Dok.
Quote from: Luna on August 16, 2011, 03:42:00 AM
Awesome tale, Dok.
It really happened.
And it was the only time "Too Soon Klaus" missed with a torpedo.
He went on to sink the Titanic, which was hushed up with some cock & bull story about an iceberg. As if ice could hurt steel. Use a hammer on some ice sometime. The ice loses.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 16, 2011, 03:43:50 AM
Quote from: Luna on August 16, 2011, 03:42:00 AM
Awesome tale, Dok.
It really happened.
And it was the only time "Too Soon Klaus" missed with a torpedo.
He went on to sink the Titanic, which was hushed up with some cock & bull story about an iceberg. As if ice could hurt steel. Use a hammer on some ice sometime. The ice loses.
Of course, I took it for absolute troof, the Dok would not lead me astray with a false history lesson. :)
Klaus didn't MEAN to sink the Titanic, you know... He was just trying to shoot these fuckers off the bow...
(http://ecdn2.hark.com/images/000/006/549/6549/original.0)
An admirable goal, with somewhat unexpected consequences.
No, Klaus ALWAYS jumped the gun. "Wait until 1914 before you attack", they said.
But did he listen? Of course not.
Quote from: Alty on August 16, 2011, 12:39:33 AM
Awesome.
Why the hell didn't I learn this in sch- Ah nevermind, sort of figured that out myself.
they never mentioned Casey Jones in elementary school?
heck, there's even a Disney short on it... (not as good a telling as the good Dok's here, though)
Quote from: Iptuous on August 16, 2011, 04:38:29 PM
Quote from: Alty on August 16, 2011, 12:39:33 AM
Awesome.
Why the hell didn't I learn this in sch- Ah nevermind, sort of figured that out myself.
they never mentioned Casey Jones in elementary school?
heck, there's even a Disney short on it... (not as good a telling as the good Dok's here, though)
Disney totally cut out the part about the U Boat.
I remember as a child hearing a song about Casey Jones.
Quote from: Charley Brown on August 16, 2011, 06:28:46 PM
I remember as a child hearing a song about Casey Jones.
Same here, but sometime in the late 70s, that stuff all sort of vanished, along with all the Western stuff and most of the WWI & WWII mythology.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 16, 2011, 06:31:24 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on August 16, 2011, 06:28:46 PM
I remember as a child hearing a song about Casey Jones.
Same here, but sometime in the late 70s, that stuff all sort of vanished, along with all the Western stuff and most of the WWI & WWII mythology.
Sad, isn't it? I used to love The Kingston Trio.
Quote from: Charley Brown on August 16, 2011, 06:35:28 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 16, 2011, 06:31:24 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on August 16, 2011, 06:28:46 PM
I remember as a child hearing a song about Casey Jones.
Same here, but sometime in the late 70s, that stuff all sort of vanished, along with all the Western stuff and most of the WWI & WWII mythology.
Sad, isn't it? I used to love The Kingston Trio.
Well, we're friends with Germany, now. We don't want people thinking about the world wars, or them torpedoing our trains. It's bad for business.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03jwHrO7ubI
For nostalgia. By Johnny Cash.
Quote from: Charley Brown on August 16, 2011, 06:37:58 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03jwHrO7ubI
For nostalgia. By Johnny Cash.
Will look at it at home.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 16, 2011, 06:36:45 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on August 16, 2011, 06:35:28 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 16, 2011, 06:31:24 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on August 16, 2011, 06:28:46 PM
I remember as a child hearing a song about Casey Jones.
Same here, but sometime in the late 70s, that stuff all sort of vanished, along with all the Western stuff and most of the WWI & WWII mythology.
Sad, isn't it? I used to love The Kingston Trio.
Well, we're friends with Germany, now. We don't want people thinking about the world wars, or them torpedoing our trains. It's bad for business.
:lulz:
Run Rabbit Run
Words & Music by: Noel Gay and Ralph Butler.
Run Rabbit Run was a popular song during World War II, especially after Flanagan and Allen changed the lyrics to poke fun at the Germans (eg. Run Adolf, Run Adolf, Run, Run, Run........)
On the farm, every Friday
On the farm, it's rabbit pie day.
So, every Friday that ever comes along,
I get up early and sing this little song
Run rabbit - run rabbit -
Run! Run! Run!
Run rabbit - run rabbit -
Run! Run! Run!
Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
Goes the farmer's gun.
Run, rabbit, run, rabbit, run.
Run rabbit - run rabbit -
Run! Run! Run!
Don't give the farmer his fun!
Fun! Fun!
He'll get by without his rabbit pie
So run rabbit - run rabbit -
Run! Run! Run!
Run Adolf, Run Adolf, Run, Run, Run,
Now that the fun has begun, gun, gun;
P'raps you'll just allow us to explain,
What we did once, - we can do again.
We're making shells by the ton, ton, ton.
We've got the men and the mon, mon, mon.
Poor old soul, - you'll need a rabbit-hole, -
So, run Adolf, run Adolf, run, run, run.
Elton John did a kickass cover of that song. The original version.
Seems Casey took what my grandfather said seriously:
If you are early, you are on time
If you are on time, you are late
If you are late, you might as well not show up
Charley, good song, by the way. Lost my copy when my truck went
walkabout some while back.
I posted the wikipedia link on facebook and the first comment I got was "it didn't say he was high on cocaine". :x
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 16, 2011, 06:26:21 PM
Quote from: Iptuous on August 16, 2011, 04:38:29 PM
Quote from: Alty on August 16, 2011, 12:39:33 AM
Awesome.
Why the hell didn't I learn this in sch- Ah nevermind, sort of figured that out myself.
they never mentioned Casey Jones in elementary school?
heck, there's even a Disney short on it... (not as good a telling as the good Dok's here, though)
Disney totally cut out the part about the U Boat.
They also showed him surviving the wreck. which is odd, since they had no compunction from killing off John Henry in his little short...
Quote from: Iptuous on August 17, 2011, 03:40:29 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 16, 2011, 06:26:21 PM
Quote from: Iptuous on August 16, 2011, 04:38:29 PM
Quote from: Alty on August 16, 2011, 12:39:33 AM
Awesome.
Why the hell didn't I learn this in sch- Ah nevermind, sort of figured that out myself.
they never mentioned Casey Jones in elementary school?
heck, there's even a Disney short on it... (not as good a telling as the good Dok's here, though)
Disney totally cut out the part about the U Boat.
They also showed him surviving the wreck. which is odd, since they had no compunction from killing off John Henry in his little short...
WAT?
The whole thing that makes him glorious is that he got himself killed saving his passengers.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 17, 2011, 01:49:47 PM
Quote from: Iptuous on August 17, 2011, 03:40:29 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 16, 2011, 06:26:21 PM
Quote from: Iptuous on August 16, 2011, 04:38:29 PM
Quote from: Alty on August 16, 2011, 12:39:33 AM
Awesome.
Why the hell didn't I learn this in sch- Ah nevermind, sort of figured that out myself.
they never mentioned Casey Jones in elementary school?
heck, there's even a Disney short on it... (not as good a telling as the good Dok's here, though)
Disney totally cut out the part about the U Boat.
They also showed him surviving the wreck. which is odd, since they had no compunction from killing off John Henry in his little short...
WAT?
The whole thing that makes him glorious is that he got himself killed saving his passengers.
Oh yeah... there were no passengers on his train in the Disney version. just mail.
they really screwed the pooch didn't they?
Quote from: Iptuous on August 17, 2011, 02:05:06 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 17, 2011, 01:49:47 PM
Quote from: Iptuous on August 17, 2011, 03:40:29 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 16, 2011, 06:26:21 PM
Quote from: Iptuous on August 16, 2011, 04:38:29 PM
Quote from: Alty on August 16, 2011, 12:39:33 AM
Awesome.
Why the hell didn't I learn this in sch- Ah nevermind, sort of figured that out myself.
they never mentioned Casey Jones in elementary school?
heck, there's even a Disney short on it... (not as good a telling as the good Dok's here, though)
Disney totally cut out the part about the U Boat.
They also showed him surviving the wreck. which is odd, since they had no compunction from killing off John Henry in his little short...
WAT?
The whole thing that makes him glorious is that he got himself killed saving his passengers.
Oh yeah... there were no passengers on his train in the Disney version. just mail.
they really screwed the pooch didn't they?
They always do this shit. Always. I hate them. I fucking hate them all. Oh, Goddammit.
Had to go look it up. Iptuous is right. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbTBk4pDIHA
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on August 17, 2011, 03:25:22 AM
I posted the wikipedia link on facebook and the first comment I got was "it didn't say he was high on cocaine". :x
Why does this not surprise me?
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 17, 2011, 02:05:48 PM
Quote from: Iptuous on August 17, 2011, 02:05:06 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 17, 2011, 01:49:47 PM
Quote from: Iptuous on August 17, 2011, 03:40:29 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 16, 2011, 06:26:21 PM
Quote from: Iptuous on August 16, 2011, 04:38:29 PM
Quote from: Alty on August 16, 2011, 12:39:33 AM
Awesome.
Why the hell didn't I learn this in sch- Ah nevermind, sort of figured that out myself.
they never mentioned Casey Jones in elementary school?
heck, there's even a Disney short on it... (not as good a telling as the good Dok's here, though)
Disney totally cut out the part about the U Boat.
They also showed him surviving the wreck. which is odd, since they had no compunction from killing off John Henry in his little short...
WAT?
The whole thing that makes him glorious is that he got himself killed saving his passengers.
Oh yeah... there were no passengers on his train in the Disney version. just mail.
they really screwed the pooch didn't they?
They always do this shit. Always. I hate them. I fucking hate them all. Oh, Goddammit.
I understand that hate Dok. If it can be bastardized into something cute and stupid you can count on Disney for it. Didn't you write something once (and it may have just been a comment) on their whole take on Pocahontas?
Bump for use elsewhere.