Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Techmology and Scientism => Topic started by: Da6s on September 03, 2011, 03:38:47 AM

Title: How to kill HP
Post by: Da6s on September 03, 2011, 03:38:47 AM
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424053111904787404576535211589514334.html?fb_ref=wsj_share_FB_bot&fb_source=home_multiline (http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424053111904787404576535211589514334.html?fb_ref=wsj_share_FB_bot&fb_source=home_multiline)

QuoteLet's say you were given a year to kill Hewlett-Packard. Here's how you do it:

Fire well-performing CEO Mark Hurd over expense-report irregularities and a juicy sexual-harassment claim that you admit has no merit. Fire four board members, as publicly as possible. Foment a mass exodus of key executives who actually know how to run the giant computer company.

Hire new a CEO from German competitor, SAP, which sells business software, not consumer products. Tell the new CEO, Leo Apotheker, that Mr. Hurd "left H-P in great shape."

Draw public criticism from a major corporate-governance advisory firm, alleging Mr. Apotheker filled board openings with cronies.

Announce plans to maybe sell the PC business. Or maybe spin off PCs as a stand-alone company. Uncertainty will damage the price.

Never mind the years of effort H-P spent -- including a controversial merger with Compaq -- becoming the world's largest PC maker. Never mind that the PC business feeds H-P's more profitable businesses. Dumping it is a beautiful absurdity that one analyst, Jayson Noland of Robert W. Baird & Co., described as "like McDonald's getting out of the hamburger business."

Watch Moody's threaten to downgrade H-P's credit.

Act surprised as H-P's stock plunges more than 40%.

Go to Wall Street and tell long, confusing stories about how you are transforming H-P from a low-margin to a high-margin business.

Didn't realize how much of a clusterfuck HP was in currently. Sucks for my friend that works for Porter Novelli for HP.  :horrormirth:
Title: Re: How to kill HP
Post by: Pæs on September 03, 2011, 04:34:53 AM
I was hoping this was going to be a thread about helping Voldemort win.
Title: Re: How to kill HP
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on September 03, 2011, 07:28:56 AM
Quote from: Egregore Samsa on September 03, 2011, 04:34:53 AM
I was hoping this was going to be a thread about helping Voldemort win.


:mittens:
Title: Re: How to kill HP
Post by: Lenin McCarthy on September 03, 2011, 07:51:26 PM
Quote from: Egregore Samsa on September 03, 2011, 04:34:53 AM
I was hoping this was going to be a thread about helping Voldemort win.


:mittens:

That's probably a bit late, though.
Title: Re: How to kill HP
Post by: Don Coyote on September 03, 2011, 08:02:32 PM
Quote from: Egregore Samsa on September 03, 2011, 04:34:53 AM
I was hoping this was going to be a thread about helping Voldemort win.


Me too, and then I was dissapoint.
Title: Re: How to kill HP
Post by: Bruno on September 04, 2011, 05:24:36 AM
I remember the Compaq merger and the controversy.

Apparently, that went well enough for them, so why suddenly the case of the derps?