Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: Suu on October 13, 2011, 03:01:32 AM

Title: The Elusive Velociturkey
Post by: Suu on October 13, 2011, 03:01:32 AM
No really...this is fucking creepy, especially when she gets in her car.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T2doG1XmR4w

Though I'm pretty sure that anyone in the Northeast can tell you that wild turkeys are fucking vicious.
Title: Re: The Elusive Velociturkey
Post by: Richter on October 13, 2011, 03:05:11 AM
1. Don't act like food.  You'll get shit from the damn squirrels acting like that.
2. Turkeys will hurt you.  My cousins kept a stick around for smacking the shit out of them when they got uppity, which worked out for them.
Title: Re: The Elusive Velociturkey
Post by: Suu on October 13, 2011, 03:27:54 AM
I watched a swan chase my brother for about a half mile once. Seriously, a fucking swan. Gracefully white, pristine, ass-up out of the water, swan.

He came home and got a bb gun to scare it off...which didn't work. Fucker circled the yard for a good hour. I was laughing my ass off, but my brother was scared shitless. 

We also used to have problems with great blue herons in Florida. They would get into our screened in pool by OPENING THE FUCKING DOOR and coming up to the house to look inside the glass room. Those fuckers are like...4 ft tall and they STARE. They know what you're thinking, I swear.

And people still question dinosaurs evolving into birds. Christ.
Title: Re: The Elusive Velociturkey
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on October 13, 2011, 05:41:28 AM
hahahahaha

Did you see his tail feathers? That turkey wanted more from her than just a handshake, if you know what I mean.
Title: Re: The Elusive Velociturkey
Post by: Triple Zero on October 13, 2011, 08:12:12 AM
Did you notice the heavy breathing after she ran, like, 20 feet? :lol:
Title: Re: The Elusive Velociturkey
Post by: LMNO on October 13, 2011, 01:23:36 PM
There's a reason Ben Franklin wanted our national bird to be the turkey.
Title: Re: The Elusive Velociturkey
Post by: Suu on October 13, 2011, 02:37:51 PM
Isn't it the Massachusetts state bird? Rhode Island has a fucking endangered chicken.
Title: Re: The Elusive Velociturkey
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on October 13, 2011, 05:27:15 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on October 13, 2011, 08:12:12 AM
Did you notice the heavy breathing after she ran, like, 20 feet? :lol:

Totally! :lol: Also, the screaming and panicking seemed disproportionate to the actual threat of being followed by a large amorous turkey.
Title: Re: The Elusive Velociturkey
Post by: Doktor Howl on October 13, 2011, 05:30:57 PM
GIVE THE TURKEY TO ME
Title: Re: The Elusive Velociturkey
Post by: Freeky on October 13, 2011, 05:33:15 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 13, 2011, 05:30:57 PM
GIVE THE TURKEY TO ME

WE WILL MAKE IT BETTER!
Title: Re: The Elusive Velociturkey
Post by: Payne on October 14, 2011, 06:32:27 AM
Quote from: Triple Zero on October 13, 2011, 08:12:12 AM
Did you notice the heavy breathing after she ran, like, 20 feet? :lol:

Fear response. Plus she might be holding more equipment and shit than you'd think.

Also, I would eat that turkey, right in its face.I would stone it to death with cranberries and throw it down my pie hole like it weren't no thang.
Title: Re: The Elusive Velociturkey
Post by: navkat on October 18, 2011, 05:47:27 AM
Quote from: Nigel on October 13, 2011, 05:41:28 AM
hahahahaha

Did you see his tail feathers? That turkey wanted more from her than just a handshake, if you know what I mean.

I have truly grown to love and cherish you, Nigel. You always say what I'm thinking.
Title: Re: The Elusive Velociturkey
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on October 21, 2011, 07:14:06 PM
Quote from: navkat on October 18, 2011, 05:47:27 AM
Quote from: Nigel on October 13, 2011, 05:41:28 AM
hahahahaha

Did you see his tail feathers? That turkey wanted more from her than just a handshake, if you know what I mean.

I have truly grown to love and cherish you, Nigel. You always say what I'm thinking.

:)