Australia: Settled by poor criminals.
Tucson: Settled by psychotic criminals.
Phoenix: Settled by rich criminals.
Australia: Killed off a largely non-violent indigent people to make room.
Tucson: Killed off an insanely violent indigent people for cheap kicks.
Phoenix: Nobody lived there before, and with good reason.
Australia: Doesn't like guns.
Tucson: Loves guns.
Phoenix: Requires guns.
Australia: Fought the Japanese.
Tucson: Has heard of Japan.
Phoenix: Has not heard of Japan.
Australia: Has racial problems.
Tucson: Does not have racial problems.
Phoenix: Doesn't allow anyone with smudgy skin out in public.
Australia: Is upside down.
Tucson: Is sideways.
Phoenix: Is a brightly-lit version of hell.
Australia: Has about 30 people in it.
Tucson: Has 1.1 million people in and around it.
Phoenix: Is 100 miles of concrete full of zombies. Not the cool kind, though.
Australia: Loves beer.
Tucson: Loves whiskey.
Phoenix: Loves misery.
Australia: Has cops.
Tucson: Has cops.
Phoenix: Has Sheriff Joe the Nazi.
Australia: Has lizards.
Tucson: Has lizards.
Phoenix: Elects lizards.
I think we can all agree that Tucson and Australia are superior, so Phoenix is eliminated, and Tucson & Australia go to the elimination round.
I can't believe Phoenix was ever even in the running, to be honest.
Tucson: really hard (some say impossible) to leave
Australia: really hard (some say impossible) to enter
Quote from: The Good Reverend Payne on October 21, 2011, 04:18:39 PM
I can't believe Phoenix was ever even in the running, to be honest.
Tucson: really hard (some say impossible) to leave
Australia: really hard (some say impossible) to enter
Well, all 3 are tiny little settlements in big fucking deserts.
:mittens: I haven't made it to Ozland (yet), but damn if that don't all sound correct.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 21, 2011, 04:20:51 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Payne on October 21, 2011, 04:18:39 PM
I can't believe Phoenix was ever even in the running, to be honest.
Tucson: really hard (some say impossible) to leave
Australia: really hard (some say impossible) to enter
Well, all 3 are tiny little settlements in big fucking deserts.
Yes. But Phoenix is a dirty word and you are a righteous man.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Payne on October 21, 2011, 04:26:38 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 21, 2011, 04:20:51 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Payne on October 21, 2011, 04:18:39 PM
I can't believe Phoenix was ever even in the running, to be honest.
Tucson: really hard (some say impossible) to leave
Australia: really hard (some say impossible) to enter
Well, all 3 are tiny little settlements in big fucking deserts.
Yes. But Phoenix is a dirty word and you are a righteous man.
But as a man of SCIENCE, I have to face certain ugly truths.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 21, 2011, 04:36:04 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Payne on October 21, 2011, 04:26:38 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 21, 2011, 04:20:51 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Payne on October 21, 2011, 04:18:39 PM
I can't believe Phoenix was ever even in the running, to be honest.
Tucson: really hard (some say impossible) to leave
Australia: really hard (some say impossible) to enter
Well, all 3 are tiny little settlements in big fucking deserts.
Yes. But Phoenix is a dirty word and you are a righteous man.
But as a man of SCIENCE, I have to face certain ugly truths.
For completeness then, even if it is out of the running:
Phoenix: A mobius strip border
I think I've been sold to NEVER go to Phoenix. Ever.
Quote from: Suu on October 21, 2011, 04:46:30 PM
I think I've been sold to NEVER go to Phoenix. Ever.
That's like saying "DO NEVER GO SWIMMING IN A TAR PIT".
It's true, but do you really have to be told?
Tuscon: has venomous snakes, lizards and spiders
Australia: has venomous everything.
What I don't understand, Dok, is why people are migrating there by the droves? You know and I know what kind of a terrible place it is, but why are people leaving their safe, hurricane prone, overpopulated East Coast lives to go THERE?! Surely, as a man of science, you must have an answer.
I once had a dream (about 13 years ago) that I was trying to find a man who's online monikor was OLO in Phoenix.
It was terrifying.
I have never knowingly dreamt of Tucson, or Australia.
Quote from: Cain on October 21, 2011, 04:56:30 PM
Tuscon: has venomous snakes, lizards and spiders
Australia: has venomous everything.
Phoenix: Has venomous people.
Quote from: Suu on October 21, 2011, 04:57:25 PM
What I don't understand, Dok, is why people are migrating there by the droves? You know and I know what kind of a terrible place it is, but why are people leaving their safe, hurricane prone, overpopulated East Coast lives to go THERE?! Surely, as a man of science, you must have an answer.
Like seeks like. Horrible people go to horrible places. It's sort of like being pre-judged, God's last warning.
Figures. All they ever do is talk about how "nice" Phoenix is. And how it's "paradise."
Quote from: Suu on October 21, 2011, 05:15:10 PM
Figures. All they ever do is talk about how "nice" Phoenix is. And how it's "paradise."
Notice the looks on their faces while they say it.
Vacant and brainwashed.
Whatever...get out of my Providence.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 21, 2011, 04:12:55 PMPhoenix: Nobody lived there before, and with good reason.
:lulz:
Great list, Dok. When I first read the title, I thought you were going to be comparing the Middle East to Arizona. But this is infinitely better.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 21, 2011, 04:12:55 PM
Australia: Killed off a largely non-violent indigent people to make room.
Also for their own good.