Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Techmology and Scientism => Topic started by: Kai on November 23, 2011, 03:29:30 AM

Title: "15 Food Companies that Serve You 'Wood'"
Post by: Kai on November 23, 2011, 03:29:30 AM
I came across this article through a friend on Facebook. http://foodfreedom.wordpress.com/2011/07/08/15-food-companies-that-serve-you-wood/

Although I shouldn't be, I am a bit surprised at the idiocy of both the article and the comments. The article claims that 'wood' (i.e. cellulose) is being used in processed foods, and that this is a bad thing. No evidence of this, of course.

The real crazy is, as anyone who has passed high school biology would know, that ALL plants have cell walls composed of cellulose, that this sugar matrix is inert to the human digestive system and is otherwise known as 'fiber', and that this fiber is generally a good thing in terms of digestive health.

Yet the comments are filled with everything from yelling of processed food corps to stop putting "wood" in their products, to utterly crazy shit like some guy claiming the government is genetically modifying trees to have softer lignin and something about them falling down easier. It's a shitfest of idiocy, with only a few people saying, hey, wait a second, cellulose is in ALL plants we eat.  :lulz: There's even some "natural supplements" woo in there.
Title: Re: "15 Food Companies that Serve You 'Wood'"
Post by: Phox on November 23, 2011, 03:32:58 AM
Wow, people consistently impress me with their stupidity.  :lulz:
Title: Re: "15 Food Companies that Serve You 'Wood'"
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on November 23, 2011, 04:08:01 AM
I'm going to read this thread aren't I?

Then I'm going to forget about it and eat this food again.

And then right after I'm going to remember this thread.


FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Title: Re: "15 Food Companies that Serve You 'Wood'"
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on November 23, 2011, 04:09:34 AM
Quote from: 'Kai' ZLB, M.S. on November 23, 2011, 03:29:30 AM
I came across this article through a friend on Facebook. http://foodfreedom.wordpress.com/2011/07/08/15-food-companies-that-serve-you-wood/

Although I shouldn't be, I am a bit surprised at the idiocy of both the article and the comments. The article claims that 'wood' (i.e. cellulose) is being used in processed foods, and that this is a bad thing. No evidence of this, of course.

The real crazy is, as anyone who has passed high school biology would know, that ALL plants have cell walls composed of cellulose, that this sugar matrix is inert to the human digestive system and is otherwise known as 'fiber', and that this fiber is generally a good thing in terms of digestive health.

Yet the comments are filled with everything from yelling of processed food corps to stop putting "wood" in their products, to utterly crazy shit like some guy claiming the government is genetically modifying trees to have softer lignin and something about them falling down easier. It's a shitfest of idiocy, with only a few people saying, hey, wait a second, cellulose is in ALL plants we eat.  :lulz: There's even some "natural supplements" woo in there.

Oh. Well, that's much more comforting than what I was expecting.

:)
Title: Re: "15 Food Companies that Serve You 'Wood'"
Post by: Cain on November 23, 2011, 08:03:19 AM
All true.

Still, legally speaking a pork sausage only has to be 42% pork.  In the case of non-gourmet ones, wood may be a healthier option than what is currently being used.
Title: Re: "15 Food Companies that Serve You 'Wood'"
Post by: Freeky on November 23, 2011, 08:10:47 AM
Quote from: Cain on November 23, 2011, 08:03:19 AM
All true.

Still, legally speaking a pork sausage only has to be 42% pork.  In the case of non-gourmet ones, wood may be a healthier option than what is currently being used.
:lulz: :lulz:
Title: Re: "15 Food Companies that Serve You 'Wood'"
Post by: Cain on November 23, 2011, 08:38:04 AM
Seriously.  I refuse to buy sausages that are lower than 80% of whatever meat they are supposed to be.
Title: Re: "15 Food Companies that Serve You 'Wood'"
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 23, 2011, 09:00:13 AM
What if they have kale and garlic in them?

I kind of love those kale and garlic sausages.

Also, that blog post made me want to skin people. The most offensive aspect is that the author might have actually had a valid point about refined cellulose being used as a filler//additive, if they hadn't gone tabloid/extremist about it.

Also, jesus fuck, adding undigestible plant fiber to our snack foods? LEAST OF OUR WORRIES. GET A HOBBY, ASSHOLE.
Title: Re: "15 Food Companies that Serve You 'Wood'"
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 23, 2011, 09:02:22 AM
Sorry, that may have been a bit Dawkins Fallacy of me. But as far as I can tell, added plant fiber isn't actually hurting anyone... especially not in this gluttonous country. If you're buying reduced fat cookies, more undigestible fiber is probably your friend.
Title: Re: "15 Food Companies that Serve You 'Wood'"
Post by: Cain on November 23, 2011, 09:02:56 AM
Those I would make an exception for, but honestly, it seems those kind of sausages are gourmet-sausage standard in the first place.  Which works out nicely.  In fact... yup, just checked in my fridge.  Cumberland sausages, 85% pork.
Title: Re: "15 Food Companies that Serve You 'Wood'"
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 23, 2011, 09:08:45 AM
THE STUPIDITY IN THE COMMENTS IS MAKING ME HOMICIDAL.

And Cain, yes, the sausages available around here are mostly some kind of artisan-gourmet shit. Oh, Portland.
Title: Re: "15 Food Companies that Serve You 'Wood'"
Post by: Cain on November 23, 2011, 09:13:52 AM
I like my slightly overpriced, high quality food goods.

Which is just as well, because Shoreditch is basically where Islington put all the hipsters, once it purged them from its territory.  And they can't just do normal food, oh no...it has to show the deep pain, anguish, ennui, torment and lust of their soul.
Title: Re: "15 Food Companies that Serve You 'Wood'"
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 23, 2011, 09:17:11 AM
Quote from: Cain on November 23, 2011, 09:13:52 AM
I like my slightly overpriced, high quality food goods.

Which is just as well, because Shoreditch is basically where Islington put all the hipsters, once it purged them from its territory.  And they can't just do normal food, oh no...it has to show the deep pain, anguish, ennui, torment and lust of their soul.

Oh god.

You live in the Portland of the UK.
Title: Re: "15 Food Companies that Serve You 'Wood'"
Post by: Cain on November 23, 2011, 09:20:49 AM
Pretty much, yes!  I'm just hoping the rising property prices will drive them out in a couple of years and force them to seek fresh ground.  Hopefully south of the river.

Camden is probably still worse, but only barely. 
Title: Re: "15 Food Companies that Serve You 'Wood'"
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 23, 2011, 09:37:29 AM
Quote from: Cain on November 23, 2011, 09:20:49 AM
Pretty much, yes!  I'm just hoping the rising property prices will drive them out in a couple of years and force them to seek fresh ground.  Hopefully south of the river.

Camden is probably still worse, but only barely. 

Well, at least you can enjoy artisan sausages in the meantime.

I tried to tell a guy tonight that Portland used to be 1/3 abandoned. Seems hard to absorb for people who weren't here, but it could easily happen again.
Title: Re: "15 Food Companies that Serve You 'Wood'"
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on November 23, 2011, 02:51:27 PM
This thread is not about a meal with a "happy ending" which the title implies......   :argh!:




What?  You know some of you thought the same thing....  :lulz:

Title: Re: "15 Food Companies that Serve You 'Wood'"
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on November 28, 2011, 04:37:54 AM
Quote from: Nigel on November 23, 2011, 09:02:22 AM
Sorry, that may have been a bit Dawkins Fallacy of me. But as far as I can tell, added plant fiber isn't actually hurting anyone... especially not in this gluttonous country. If you're buying reduced fat cookies, more undigestible fiber is probably your friend.

Yes.

I think I heard somewhere that a human in its natural environment (ie, before the Industrial era) is supposed to poo like 3 times a day.

How often does that happen to anyone unless they've been on a bender or had a lot of beans?
Title: Re: "15 Food Companies that Serve You 'Wood'"
Post by: Cramulus on November 29, 2011, 05:47:31 PM
I definitely poop 3 times a day.

I'm trying to get up to 5.



TBH most of the time I just go to the bathroom out of boredom.

drinking coffee all day doesn't help
Title: Re: "15 Food Companies that Serve You 'Wood'"
Post by: Elder Iptuous on November 29, 2011, 06:10:27 PM
what is the advantage of poop frequency? (apart from the added reading time)
Title: Re: "15 Food Companies that Serve You 'Wood'"
Post by: Cramulus on November 29, 2011, 06:59:04 PM
poop's funny
Title: Re: "15 Food Companies that Serve You 'Wood'"
Post by: Elder Iptuous on November 29, 2011, 07:10:51 PM
you should see the poop my 4yo produces.  he has constipation issues sometimes, and occasionally passes a sample the size of his forearm.  this is not hyperbole.
we have found that aloe juice does the trick in keeping him regular, and no longer suffering on the commode like he once did, but he will still from time to time walk into the room and announce that he 'pooped a telephone pole', or 'pooped a train', and it requires our admiration.
Title: Re: "15 Food Companies that Serve You 'Wood'"
Post by: Triple Zero on November 29, 2011, 08:49:48 PM
It does!!

Sometimes I wish I could still announce my epic poops to people for admiration.
Title: Re: "15 Food Companies that Serve You 'Wood'"
Post by: Cramulus on November 29, 2011, 09:17:11 PM
I'd be happy to start a thread for that

I'm sure Richter would use it too
Title: Re: "15 Food Companies that Serve You 'Wood'"
Post by: Triple Zero on November 29, 2011, 11:08:43 PM
Until that time, I'll just use this thread.

It's in the right subforum, after all.
Title: Re: "15 Food Companies that Serve You 'Wood'"
Post by: Precious Moments Zalgo on November 30, 2011, 09:24:58 PM
This reminds me of another article I read while back.  The author was trying to make high fructose corn syrup as scary as possible by listing the steps of the process by which it's made in the most technical terms he could.  One of the steps was described as something about using beta-amylase to convert polysaccharides into monosaccharides.  I posted a comment, "Oh, so they malt the corn, and then use the naturally present enzymes to convert the starches into simple sugars.  Got it."
Title: Re: "15 Food Companies that Serve You 'Wood'"
Post by: Eater of Clowns on November 30, 2011, 09:30:36 PM
Quote from: Precious Moments Zalgo on November 30, 2011, 09:24:58 PM
This reminds me of another article I read while back.  The author was trying to make high fructose corn syrup as scary as possible by listing the steps of the process by which it's made in the most technical terms he could.  One of the steps was described something about using beta-amylase to convert polysaccharides into monosaccharides.  I posted a comment, "Oh, so they malt the corn, and then use the naturally present enzymes to convert the starches into simple sugars.  Got it."

This is what irks me about high fructose corn syrup.  It's the problem those pro-corn syrup commercials have as well.

The problem with high fructose corn syrup isn't that it's deadly to consume.  THE PROBLEM WITH HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP IS IT THAT IT'S IN EVERYFUCKING THING.  EVERYWHERE.
Title: Re: "15 Food Companies that Serve You 'Wood'"
Post by: Precious Moments Zalgo on November 30, 2011, 09:50:02 PM
HFCS is bad in the same sense that all simple sugars are bad, i.e. OK in moderation but too much is harmful.  I have been told that HFCS is metabolized more quickly than other sugars, so it might be slightly worse.  It's by far the cheapest form of sugar on the market.  When I see it in a list of ingredients, it tells me that the manufacturer is more interested in saving money than in producing a quality product, and that's the main reason I avoid it.
Title: Re: "15 Food Companies that Serve You 'Wood'"
Post by: Triple Zero on November 30, 2011, 10:05:23 PM
Quote from: Precious Moments Zalgo on November 30, 2011, 09:50:02 PMIt's by far the cheapest form of sugar on the US market.

Fixed. We use sugar beets here. Other places use cane, or whatever. The US just has a lot of corn.

Also, compared to whatever kind of sugar, artificial sweeteners like aspartame or sucralose are practically free. I'm still not sure whether aspartame is bad for you or not (though some people do have bad reactions to it), I just avoid it because the aftertaste is yucky. Sucralose, while it doesn't taste quite like sugar, is not bad for you.
Title: Re: "15 Food Companies that Serve You 'Wood'"
Post by: Precious Moments Zalgo on November 30, 2011, 10:32:21 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on November 30, 2011, 10:05:23 PM
Quote from: Precious Moments Zalgo on November 30, 2011, 09:50:02 PMIt's by far the cheapest form of sugar on the US market.

Fixed. We use sugar beets here. Other places use cane, or whatever. The US just has a lot of corn.

Also, compared to whatever kind of sugar, artificial sweeteners like aspartame or sucralose are practically free. I'm still not sure whether aspartame is bad for you or not (though some people do have bad reactions to it), I just avoid it because the aftertaste is yucky. Sucralose, while it doesn't taste quite like sugar, is not bad for you.
Thanks, Trip.  Sorry about my Amerocentrism.  We subsidize the fuck out of corn, and that's the main reason HFCS is so cheap here.
Title: Re: "15 Food Companies that Serve You 'Wood'"
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 30, 2011, 10:36:14 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on November 30, 2011, 10:05:23 PM
Quote from: Precious Moments Zalgo on November 30, 2011, 09:50:02 PMIt's by far the cheapest form of sugar on the US market.

Fixed. We use sugar beets here. Other places use cane, or whatever. The US just has a lot of corn.

Also, compared to whatever kind of sugar, artificial sweeteners like aspartame or sucralose are practically free. I'm still not sure whether aspartame is bad for you or not (though some people do have bad reactions to it), I just avoid it because the aftertaste is yucky. Sucralose, while it doesn't taste quite like sugar, is not bad for you.

Sucralose gives me gut cramps and the explosive runs like a motherfucker. In that sense, it's definitely bad for me.