Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2011, 09:01:33 PM

Title: Nine Years of Trying to Explain My Position, part I of V
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2011, 09:01:33 PM
Yeah, so about the whole Milwaukee thing...It's kind of a portrait of America in the dying days of the republic, right?  There's Richie and Potsi and Ralph Malph, and they're having civilized adventures and civilized problems, which they solve by the guidance of a wise father and a lovable rogue who lives in the apartment over the garage.

And time goes by, right?  Time sort of goes from 1955 to 1965 (or 1976-1984, if you prefer), and things change.  Richie and Ralph got hauled out back of Arnold's Drive In and got their asses kicked by a place called Vietnam.  They came back alive in time for Joanie's wedding, but they weren't the same.  Oh, they put on a good show, I mean, who wants to ruin the little sisters wedding, right?  But they didn't know what to say or when to laugh, and Joanie always remembered the wedding reception as being a little sad.

Some time shortly after that, Richie's dad took a nap in the office of his hardware store and never woke up.  It was kind of a blessing, because it wasn't long after that the national chains moved in and shut the little guy down, right?  It would have killed him to have to admit defeat and close up shop.  Richie's mom lived on and on and on, enough time to see Joanie's husband "Chachi" develop his gambling problem.  And the drink.  So Joanie moves back in with her, right?  And a couple of years later, Joanie comes home from work and her mother asks "Who are you?"  Let's not talk about that, though, you know about that kind of thing, and it's just too depressing.

Potsi  learned all about stocks, but though he was smarter than the SEC when it came to insider trading.

The Fonz, though, he was a smart one.  He knew that he'd pushed "cool" as far as you could go, as old as you could get without looking pathetic, so he got a sweet gig doing custom bikes for rich bastards in Chicago.  He'd get together with Richie and Ralph once in a while, and just sit and listen while the other two got drunk and started talking about the war.  Like I said, the Fonz was a cool dude, and he knew that sometimes all you have to do is listen.  He was still riding at age 70, when some yahoo In a Hummer clipped his bike and sent him on his way back to those Happy Days.

Even the house is gone.  It was torn down to make room for a McMansion, and all the memories went with it.  Sometimes Richie drives by the old neighborhood when he's feeling masochistic, when he wants to feel like he's had a tooth hauled out the hard way, and then he goes home to his wife and his Geritol, and tries to remember what songs they played at Arnold's, all those years ago.

To be continued
Title: Re: Nine Years of Trying to Explain My Position, part I of V
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on November 28, 2011, 09:13:15 PM
Damn Roger....
Title: Re: Nine Years of Trying to Explain My Position, part I of V
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2011, 09:24:04 PM
Quote from: Nph. Twid. on November 28, 2011, 09:13:15 PM
Damn Roger....

Well, I've spent 9 years trying to explain my position, and I don't feel I've done the best I can.

Title: Re: Nine Years of Trying to Explain My Position, part I of V
Post by: Eater of Clowns on November 28, 2011, 09:29:27 PM
Fonzie wouldn't have changed the way he went, either.
Title: Re: Nine Years of Trying to Explain My Position, part I of V
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 28, 2011, 09:31:29 PM
Oh god.

I kind of want to just curl up in a ball, and the room feels suddenly very cold.
Title: Re: Nine Years of Trying to Explain My Position, part I of V
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on November 28, 2011, 10:04:05 PM
 :cry:

Damn.
Title: Re: Nine Years of Trying to Explain My Position, part I of V
Post by: PopeTom on November 28, 2011, 10:18:43 PM
I thought Mr. C sold the house and he and Marion moved to NYC so he could work for one of those national chains?
Title: Re: Nine Years of Trying to Explain My Position, part I of V
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 28, 2011, 10:22:35 PM
Quote from: PopeTom on November 28, 2011, 10:18:43 PM
I thought Mr. C sold the house and he and Marion moved to NYC so he could work for one of those national chains?

Go write your own story, fucknut.
Title: Re: Nine Years of Trying to Explain My Position, part I of V
Post by: PopeTom on November 28, 2011, 10:26:22 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 28, 2011, 10:22:35 PM
Quote from: PopeTom on November 28, 2011, 10:18:43 PM
I thought Mr. C sold the house and he and Marion moved to NYC so he could work for one of those national chains?

Go write your own story, fucknut.

FAN-FICTION SHOULD MAINTAIN CANON!  :argh!:
Title: Re: Nine Years of Trying to Explain My Position, part I of V
Post by: Phox on November 28, 2011, 10:28:11 PM
Chilling. I don' know what else to say.
Title: Re: Nine Years of Trying to Explain My Position, part I of V
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2011, 11:50:15 PM
Quote from: PopeTom on November 28, 2011, 10:26:22 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 28, 2011, 10:22:35 PM
Quote from: PopeTom on November 28, 2011, 10:18:43 PM
I thought Mr. C sold the house and he and Marion moved to NYC so he could work for one of those national chains?

Go write your own story, fucknut.

FAN-FICTION SHOULD MAINTAIN CANON!  :argh!:

You know what?

Fuck this.
Title: Re: Nine Years of Trying to Explain My Position, part I of V
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 29, 2011, 12:12:41 AM
Quote from: PopeTom on November 28, 2011, 10:26:22 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 28, 2011, 10:22:35 PM
Quote from: PopeTom on November 28, 2011, 10:18:43 PM
I thought Mr. C sold the house and he and Marion moved to NYC so he could work for one of those national chains?

Go write your own story, fucknut.

FAN-FICTION SHOULD MAINTAIN CANON!  :argh!:

You are a fucking stupid asshole.
Title: Re: Nine Years of Trying to Explain My Position, part I of V
Post by: Juana on November 29, 2011, 01:01:13 AM
That...that was pretty damn depressing. :( Spot on, but very sad.
Title: Re: Nine Years of Trying to Explain My Position, part I of V
Post by: Kai on November 29, 2011, 01:55:53 AM
Quote from: PopeTom on November 28, 2011, 10:26:22 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 28, 2011, 10:22:35 PM
Quote from: PopeTom on November 28, 2011, 10:18:43 PM
I thought Mr. C sold the house and he and Marion moved to NYC so he could work for one of those national chains?

Go write your own story, fucknut.

FAN-FICTION SHOULD MAINTAIN CANON!  :argh!:

It's not fan fiction, it's a metaphor. Just like the series of essays written here on sesame street and the muppets were metaphors. What's so hard to understand about this? Why must you shit up good threads?
Title: Re: Nine Years of Trying to Explain My Position, part I of V
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 29, 2011, 02:06:16 AM
Quote from: 'Kai' ZLB, M.S. on November 29, 2011, 01:55:53 AM
Quote from: PopeTom on November 28, 2011, 10:26:22 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 28, 2011, 10:22:35 PM
Quote from: PopeTom on November 28, 2011, 10:18:43 PM
I thought Mr. C sold the house and he and Marion moved to NYC so he could work for one of those national chains?

Go write your own story, fucknut.

FAN-FICTION SHOULD MAINTAIN CANON!  :argh!:

It's not fan fiction, it's a metaphor. Just like the series of essays written here on sesame street and the muppets were metaphors. What's so hard to understand about this? Why must you shit up good threads?

Someone was WRONG on the INTERNET!!!111@
Title: Re: Nine Years of Trying to Explain My Position, part I of V
Post by: Richter on November 29, 2011, 02:15:39 AM
Damnit monkey screaming shitnuts.  If you're not throwing poop - printed avery labels at everything you see to ruin it's worth, you're fucking the cherios for the rest of us.  Idiot cockgobbling bugrapists.

Like Kai said, Metaphor. 

That out of the system: MOAR.  I haven't felt this kind of yearning for the trainwreckedness of it since I did the Sesame Street bits.  The bit about the Fonz, Richie and Ralph hit home especially.  Reminds me of a few buddies.
Title: Re: Nine Years of Trying to Explain My Position, part I of V
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 29, 2011, 02:17:12 AM
Quote from: Richter on November 29, 2011, 02:15:39 AM
Damnit monkey screaming shitnuts.  If you're not throwing poop - printed avery labels at everything you see to ruin it's worth, you're fucking the cherios for the rest of us.  Idiot cockgobbling bugrapists.

Like Kai said, Metaphor. 

That out of the system: MOAR.  I haven't felt this kind of yearning for the trainwreckedness of it since I did the Sesame Street bits.  The bit about the Fonz, Richie and Ralph hit home especially.  Reminds me of a few buddies.

Oh, there's more.  Tomorrow, if there's time.  There's a point behind all of this.
Title: Re: Nine Years of Trying to Explain My Position, part I of V
Post by: Freeky on November 29, 2011, 02:32:03 AM
I like this in a sad way.  Sorta like a "Yeah, I hurrrd that :) :( " thing.
Title: Re: Nine Years of Trying to Explain My Position, part I of V
Post by: Jenne on November 29, 2011, 08:35:08 PM
This was great in a very sad way, Rog.  :(  You have a gift, my friend.

I loved Happy Days...
Title: Re: Nine Years of Trying to Explain My Position, part I of V
Post by: Luna on November 29, 2011, 10:31:50 PM
Shit.  Just...  Shit.   :sad:
Title: Re: Nine Years of Trying to Explain My Position, part I of V
Post by: Suu on November 29, 2011, 10:45:56 PM
I'm finding a new love of catharsis.

Moar plz.
Title: Re: Nine Years of Trying to Explain My Position, part I of V
Post by: Luna on November 30, 2011, 02:16:25 AM
I have had an attack of the weird.

I am at practice.  I walk to the bathroom, am taking care of business.  I look down at the magazine rack that has had the same old magazines for months...  and I see this.

(http://i1141.photobucket.com/albums/n595/Luna0219/PeeDee/IMG_20111129_210321.jpg)
Title: Re: Nine Years of Trying to Explain My Position, part I of V
Post by: Phox on November 30, 2011, 02:19:03 AM
 :horrormirth:
Title: Re: Nine Years of Trying to Explain My Position, part I of V
Post by: hooplala on November 30, 2011, 07:35:47 AM
Roger, this was really fucking good.  I am partial to popular culture as metaphor for society... I think pop culture owes us at least that much.  I am excited to see what comes next. 
Title: Re: Nine Years of Trying to Explain My Position, part I of V
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 30, 2011, 03:25:47 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on November 30, 2011, 07:35:47 AM
Roger, this was really fucking good.  I am partial to popular culture as metaphor for society... I think pop culture owes us at least that much.  I am excited to see what comes next. 

Popular culture is a metaphor for society, by definition...Or at least a metaphor for what we'd like culture to be.
Title: Re: Nine Years of Trying to Explain My Position, part I of V
Post by: hooplala on November 30, 2011, 05:06:19 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 30, 2011, 03:25:47 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on November 30, 2011, 07:35:47 AM
Roger, this was really fucking good.  I am partial to popular culture as metaphor for society... I think pop culture owes us at least that much.  I am excited to see what comes next. 

Popular culture is a metaphor for society, by definition...Or at least a metaphor for what we'd like culture to be.

Bolded to emphasize the true horror of that statement.
Title: Re: Nine Years of Trying to Explain My Position, part I of V
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 30, 2011, 05:07:09 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on November 30, 2011, 05:06:19 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 30, 2011, 03:25:47 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on November 30, 2011, 07:35:47 AM
Roger, this was really fucking good.  I am partial to popular culture as metaphor for society... I think pop culture owes us at least that much.  I am excited to see what comes next. 

Popular culture is a metaphor for society, by definition...Or at least a metaphor for what we'd like culture to be.

Bolded to emphasize the true horror of that statement.

Check out #2.  :lulz:
Title: Re: Nine Years of Trying to Explain My Position, part I of V
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 09, 2013, 09:11:27 PM
BUMP FOR HAPPY THOUGHTS.
Title: Re: Nine Years of Trying to Explain My Position, part I of V
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on December 09, 2013, 11:21:44 PM
Now I have to look for #2.
And how Laverne and Shirley ended up. It can't be good.
Title: Re: Nine Years of Trying to Explain My Position, part I of V
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 09, 2013, 11:42:48 PM
Quote from: Tiddleywomp Cockletit on December 09, 2013, 11:21:44 PM
Now I have to look for #2.
And how Laverne and Shirley ended up. It can't be good.

Theme song now back in head.  You'll pay, because now I AM gonna write that.
Title: Re: Nine Years of Trying to Explain My Position, part I of V
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on December 10, 2013, 12:49:16 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on December 09, 2013, 11:42:48 PM
Quote from: Tiddleywomp Cockletit on December 09, 2013, 11:21:44 PM
Now I have to look for #2.
And how Laverne and Shirley ended up. It can't be good.

Theme song now back in head.  You'll pay, because now I AM gonna write that.

Let's see, production line at the brewery during the boom years...this doesn't end well.  :horrormirth:
Title: Re: Nine Years of Trying to Explain My Position, part I of V
Post by: Ben Shapiro on December 10, 2013, 02:03:36 AM
What the fucking shit?
Title: Re: Nine Years of Trying to Explain My Position, part I of V
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 10, 2013, 02:05:47 AM
Quote from: Officer What's His /b/ear on December 10, 2013, 02:03:36 AM
What the fucking shit?

I was just trying to state my case.
Title: Re: Nine Years of Trying to Explain My Position, part I of V
Post by: Ben Shapiro on December 10, 2013, 02:07:33 AM
I just got the reference to the mom asking "who are you?"  :emo:
Title: Re: Nine Years of Trying to Explain My Position, part I of V
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 10, 2013, 02:11:26 AM
Quote from: Officer What's His /b/ear on December 10, 2013, 02:07:33 AM
I just got the reference to the mom asking "who are you?"  :emo:

Yeah.   :lulz:

The other two I completed are even worse.  The Gilligan's Island one is pure 169% Roger's Brain on PILLZ.