(Also known as the Stockholm Sarcasm thread)
Thank you, daily routine, for being so comfortable. I love nursing at your teat and I can 't imagine it any other way.
Thank you, nerds vs bullies narrative, for ensuring that I have kept sporting events outside of my realm of normal activities. I guess I'm much happier indoors. Nope, no plans for the superbowl.
Thank you, stubbornness, for making insularity seem like the most pleasant way to live. Now I'm the king of the insula!
Thank you, parents divorce, for making me averse to having kids or getting married. All relationships end in divorce or death, so why bother, right?
Thank you, pride, for keeping me from apologizing about that thing. I'm still carrying it around.
Thank you, sitcoms and cartoons. For a lot of my tastes and values.
Thank you, bank account, for reminding me to put a price tag on everything I do.
Thank you, first world problems, for making me feel like I've got something to whine about.
and let me add:
fuck you, wine. Fuck you for making me drunk and honest and running my mouth off at that dinner party. My honesty would surprise me. The next day, I would feel like the epitome of the word spag, like my whole life has been continually bumbling through spag country, in a way that I am ashamed of. Fuck you for bringing my inner loser to the surface where I have to confront him. Fuck you and the hangover you rode out on.
and while I'm at it, hail eris
and bring on the Aftermath
Thank you, paranoia for making me change my name out of fear that THEY won't be satisfied with a background check and have nothing better to do than resorting to Googling internet message boards.
Thank you, stubbornness, for encouraging me to engage in pointless conversations.
Thank you, career induced complacency, for creating writer's blocks seemingly made of titanium-crusted concrete.
Thank you, people pleaser personality, for making me overly concerned over mundane minutiae.
Thank you anxiety, without you I would be able to talk to groups of people without getting physically sick.
Thank you constant fear of death, without you I might enjoy my food and everything else I do.
Thank you prejudice, without you I would treat everyone equally and not write them off when they do something that offends me
Thank you elitism, without you prejudice wouldn't be half as good.
Thank you sense of duty, without you I wouldn't feel like a slave to everyone and everything.
Thank you escapism, without you I might actually live.
Thank you, regret, for keeping me wrapped up in the past instead of forging into the future.
Thank you, obligation, for making sure I'm strapped down to the same grinding rut day after day.
Thank you, shame, for preventing me from pursuing new opportunities that "I'm not good enough for."
Thank you, apathy, for making less than bare minimum seem like enough right up until its too late.
Thank you, depression, for stealing away months of my life at a time.
Thank you, PILLS HERE, for letting me sleep as if I had a clean conscience.
TGRR,
Immoral living through chemistry.
Thank you, penis, for your long-term planning skills.
Thank you, fear of failure, for making sure I don't risk giving myself a chance to succeed.
Thank you, God, for giving me a planet full of primates to abuse.
Thank you, memory. Without your clarity of perfect moments and meaningful exchanges, I might be able to find someone that would work for me instead of pining and being depressed.
Thank you, Jante law (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jante_Law) and small-town Norway, for teaching me that it's never okay to be different.
Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on December 15, 2011, 05:56:07 PM
Thank you, Jante law (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jante_Law) and small-town Norway, for teaching me that it's never okay to be different.
Fuck that.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 15, 2011, 05:57:44 PM
Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on December 15, 2011, 05:56:07 PM
Thank you, Jante law (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jante_Law) and small-town Norway, for teaching me that it's never okay to be different.
Fuck that.
Yeah, that was stupid, and probably not even right.
Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on December 21, 2011, 11:40:32 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 15, 2011, 05:57:44 PM
Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on December 15, 2011, 05:56:07 PM
Thank you, Jante law (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jante_Law) and small-town Norway, for teaching me that it's never okay to be different.
Fuck that.
Yeah, that was stupid, and probably not even right.
I meant "fuck Jante Law".
This is where the I WILL KILL A MOTHERFUCKER philosophy really pays off.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 21, 2011, 11:46:01 PM
Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on December 21, 2011, 11:40:32 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 15, 2011, 05:57:44 PM
Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on December 15, 2011, 05:56:07 PM
Thank you, Jante law (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jante_Law) and small-town Norway, for teaching me that it's never okay to be different.
Fuck that.
Yeah, that was stupid, and probably not even right.
I meant "fuck Jante Law".
This is where the I WILL KILL A MOTHERFUCKER philosophy really pays off.
This just made me realize one thing: I'm unhealthily conflict-shy. I interpret responses that aren't even criticism as criticism, assume that their criticism is valid and then I retract my statement. I should go trolling somewhere. :lulz:
Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on December 22, 2011, 12:07:48 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 21, 2011, 11:46:01 PM
Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on December 21, 2011, 11:40:32 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 15, 2011, 05:57:44 PM
Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on December 15, 2011, 05:56:07 PM
Thank you, Jante law (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jante_Law) and small-town Norway, for teaching me that it's never okay to be different.
Fuck that.
Yeah, that was stupid, and probably not even right.
I meant "fuck Jante Law".
This is where the I WILL KILL A MOTHERFUCKER philosophy really pays off.
This just made me realize one thing: I'm unhealthily conflict-shy. I interpret responses that aren't even criticism as criticism, assume that their criticism is valid and then I retract my statement. I should go trolling somewhere. :lulz:
Also, hitting people who deserve it helps some, but can lead to medical problems if you are not good at it or a fast runner.
It's because Roger is our alpha, durr.
God help us all.
Quote from: Beardman Meow on December 22, 2011, 12:11:50 AM
It's because Roger is our alpha, durr.
God help us all.
thats exactly what a neurotypical omega would say.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 22, 2011, 12:12:39 AM
wat
This:
Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on December 21, 2011, 11:40:32 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 15, 2011, 05:57:44 PM
Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on December 15, 2011, 05:56:07 PM
Thank you, Jante law (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jante_Law) and small-town Norway, for teaching me that it's never okay to be different.
Fuck that.
Yeah, that was stupid, and probably not even right.
isn't Lenin's fault. It clearly happens because you are at the top of our pecking order.
God help us all should be self-explanatory.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 21, 2011, 11:46:01 PM
Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on December 21, 2011, 11:40:32 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 15, 2011, 05:57:44 PM
Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on December 15, 2011, 05:56:07 PM
Thank you, Jante law (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jante_Law) and small-town Norway, for teaching me that it's never okay to be different.
Fuck that.
Yeah, that was stupid, and probably not even right.
I meant "fuck Jante Law".
This is where the I WILL KILL A MOTHERFUCKER philosophy really pays off.
It's the only thing that works.
Quote from: Waffle Iron on December 22, 2011, 12:27:24 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 21, 2011, 11:46:01 PM
Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on December 21, 2011, 11:40:32 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 15, 2011, 05:57:44 PM
Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on December 15, 2011, 05:56:07 PM
Thank you, Jante law (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jante_Law) and small-town Norway, for teaching me that it's never okay to be different.
Fuck that.
Yeah, that was stupid, and probably not even right.
I meant "fuck Jante Law".
This is where the I WILL KILL A MOTHERFUCKER philosophy really pays off.
It's the only thing that works.
And it's fun for the whole family!
Quote from: Beardman Meow on December 22, 2011, 12:17:10 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 22, 2011, 12:12:39 AM
wat
This:
Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on December 21, 2011, 11:40:32 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 15, 2011, 05:57:44 PM
Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on December 15, 2011, 05:56:07 PM
Thank you, Jante law (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jante_Law) and small-town Norway, for teaching me that it's never okay to be different.
Fuck that.
Yeah, that was stupid, and probably not even right.
isn't Lenin's fault. It clearly happens because you are at the top of our pecking order.
God help us all should be self-explanatory.
Does this mean I have to pee everywhere anyone else pees? Because I'm supposed to cut down on coffee.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 22, 2011, 12:32:50 AM
Quote from: Beardman Meow on December 22, 2011, 12:17:10 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 22, 2011, 12:12:39 AM
wat
This:
Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on December 21, 2011, 11:40:32 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 15, 2011, 05:57:44 PM
Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on December 15, 2011, 05:56:07 PM
Thank you, Jante law (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jante_Law) and small-town Norway, for teaching me that it's never okay to be different.
Fuck that.
Yeah, that was stupid, and probably not even right.
isn't Lenin's fault. It clearly happens because you are at the top of our pecking order.
God help us all should be self-explanatory.
Does this mean I have to pee everywhere anyone else pees? Because I'm supposed to cut down on coffee.
Unless you want those rat bastards to think they can just pee anywhere they please.
Got to keep 'em in line.
Quote from: Waffle Iron on December 22, 2011, 12:27:24 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 21, 2011, 11:46:01 PM
Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on December 21, 2011, 11:40:32 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 15, 2011, 05:57:44 PM
Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on December 15, 2011, 05:56:07 PM
Thank you, Jante law (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jante_Law) and small-town Norway, for teaching me that it's never okay to be different.
Fuck that.
Yeah, that was stupid, and probably not even right.
I meant "fuck Jante Law".
This is where the I WILL KILL A MOTHERFUCKER philosophy really pays off.
It's the only thing that works.
I did some hitting of people who deserved it back in 8th-9th grade. It worked, but I should have done a lot more.
Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on December 22, 2011, 12:37:37 AM
Quote from: Waffle Iron on December 22, 2011, 12:27:24 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 21, 2011, 11:46:01 PM
Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on December 21, 2011, 11:40:32 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 15, 2011, 05:57:44 PM
Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on December 15, 2011, 05:56:07 PM
Thank you, Jante law (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jante_Law) and small-town Norway, for teaching me that it's never okay to be different.
Fuck that.
Yeah, that was stupid, and probably not even right.
I meant "fuck Jante Law".
This is where the I WILL KILL A MOTHERFUCKER philosophy really pays off.
It's the only thing that works.
I did some hitting of people who deserved it back in 8th-9th grade. It worked, but I should have done a lot more.
Trouble is, once you start, you can't fucking stop.
Thank you, shitty childhood, for making me unable to deal with interpersonal conflict without shaking and making me have to very, very carefully eye anyone I get involved with.
Thank you, dysfunctional family, for making me passive-aggressive.
(OTOH, thank you maturity for reminding me I'm not a slave to either of these things and that they can be dealt with)
Thank you, Five More Minutes, for every deeply valuable contribution to my life.
Thank you creative block for repeatedly forcing me to stop doing the shit I enjoy
Thank you paranoia and low self esteem for forcing me to constantly persuade myself that it's all in my head and the people I'm with actually like me.
Thank you alcohol for making the persuasion easier while, at the same time, making the people I'm with actually like me less
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 22, 2011, 12:41:51 AM
Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on December 22, 2011, 12:37:37 AM
Quote from: Waffle Iron on December 22, 2011, 12:27:24 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 21, 2011, 11:46:01 PM
Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on December 21, 2011, 11:40:32 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 15, 2011, 05:57:44 PM
Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on December 15, 2011, 05:56:07 PM
Thank you, Jante law (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jante_Law) and small-town Norway, for teaching me that it's never okay to be different.
Fuck that.
Yeah, that was stupid, and probably not even right.
I meant "fuck Jante Law".
This is where the I WILL KILL A MOTHERFUCKER philosophy really pays off.
It's the only thing that works.
I did some hitting of people who deserved it back in 8th-9th grade. It worked, but I should have done a lot more.
Trouble is, once you start, you can't fucking stop.
And there comes to us all, an age where beating up on 9th graders looks pretty fucked up!
Quote from: BadBeast on December 22, 2011, 11:02:37 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 22, 2011, 12:41:51 AM
Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on December 22, 2011, 12:37:37 AM
Quote from: Waffle Iron on December 22, 2011, 12:27:24 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 21, 2011, 11:46:01 PM
Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on December 21, 2011, 11:40:32 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 15, 2011, 05:57:44 PM
Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on December 15, 2011, 05:56:07 PM
Thank you, Jante law (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jante_Law) and small-town Norway, for teaching me that it's never okay to be different.
Fuck that.
Yeah, that was stupid, and probably not even right.
I meant "fuck Jante Law".
This is where the I WILL KILL A MOTHERFUCKER philosophy really pays off.
It's the only thing that works.
I did some hitting of people who deserved it back in 8th-9th grade. It worked, but I should have done a lot more.
Trouble is, once you start, you can't fucking stop.
And there comes to us all, an age where beating up on 9th graders looks pretty fucked up!
And unfortunately for that, that's the age when you realize they all deserve it, because they're programmed to be obnoxious little shits then.
Shame that. Little fuckers. (http://i748.photobucket.com/albums/xx128/ChuckFukmuk/smileys/villagers-1.gif)
and while I'm here, Bah fucking Humbug. If anyone wants their stocking filled this Christmas, they can sit on a fucking Santa.
Quote from: BadBeast on December 22, 2011, 11:02:37 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 22, 2011, 12:41:51 AM
Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on December 22, 2011, 12:37:37 AM
Quote from: Waffle Iron on December 22, 2011, 12:27:24 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 21, 2011, 11:46:01 PM
Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on December 21, 2011, 11:40:32 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 15, 2011, 05:57:44 PM
Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on December 15, 2011, 05:56:07 PM
Thank you, Jante law (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jante_Law) and small-town Norway, for teaching me that it's never okay to be different.
Fuck that.
Yeah, that was stupid, and probably not even right.
I meant "fuck Jante Law".
This is where the I WILL KILL A MOTHERFUCKER philosophy really pays off.
It's the only thing that works.
I did some hitting of people who deserved it back in 8th-9th grade. It worked, but I should have done a lot more.
Trouble is, once you start, you can't fucking stop.
And there comes to us all, an age where beating up on 9th graders looks pretty fucked up!
Speak for yourself. These little bastards need some callouses.
At the hands of whom?
Hmm, I'm not sure that I agree with that sentiment. Kids certainly need to be prepared for real world challenges, but I don't think they "need some callouses" for that. Not sure how literal you meant that to be.
Quote from: My Lady is a Cantaloupe on December 22, 2011, 04:55:48 PM
Hmm, I'm not sure that I agree with that sentiment. Kids certainly need to be prepared for real world challenges, but I don't think they "need some callouses" for that. Not sure how literal you meant that to be.
I didn't mean it at all. I was just being horrible.
Okay :|
Quote from: Faust on December 22, 2011, 12:15:01 AM
Quote from: Beardman Meow on December 22, 2011, 12:11:50 AM
It's because Roger is our alpha, durr.
God help us all.
thats exactly what a neurotypical omega would say.
:lol:
Quote from: My Lady is a Cantaloupe on December 22, 2011, 04:55:48 PM
Hmm, I'm not sure that I agree with that sentiment. Kids certainly need to be prepared for real world challenges, but I don't think they "need some callouses" for that. Not sure how literal you meant that to be.
Looks like somebody doesn't understand this complicated "humor" concept.