Today, I saw six cop cars sitting outside the back alley of this townhouse complex, and another one heading in as I left the neighborhood (which is the one right next to my parents', and generally considered a pretty good one, for being in the Hive.)
Today, my grandmother confided to me that she thought my cousin was "weird," her tone implying that this is a serious badwrong condition, because he gave his younger brother a pair of pants that really could fit them both and my next youngest cousin in all at once. I even said "There's nothing wrong with being weird." Her response was "Yes there is!" and when I confessed to being weird, she said if I said that again she'd spank me.
(I know it's a bit early, but it felt like Christmas to me because family stuff happens on Christmas Eve for my fam. Immediate fam stuff happens on Chirstmas. I will probably have more to say tomorrow.)
Now you share your wtf chrsmas? events.
Mom: [Net's little brother], if you don't do the dishes you aren't allowed to smoke pot with us.
LB: Fine. I'll go make the kitchen even messier.
Me: Thanks Mom, now LB is going to shit in the sink.
Mom: It wouldn't be the first time.
I went to a Lutheran service this morning to see my friend sing in the Portland Norwegian Chorus, and the pastor delivered theeeee most rambling sermon I've ever heard, half in Swedish and half in English, which somehow concluded that Jesus is like a present wrapped at Fred Meyer, and if you don't unwrap him you'll never get to use the Jesus inside the box.
:?
i wish i had a remote control jesus.
Nana: did everyone get their income taxes done?
Me: uh... The year isnt over yet.
Nana: i know.
Watching Borat AND Bruno with family and their friends counts, I think.
I went to the beach and helped build snowmen...I mean, sandmen?
Remarkably, even living in Florida most of my life, I think this was the first time I ever went to the beach on Christmas. :?
However, getting to Clearwater Beach requires passing through downtown, and on the way home, my sister and I drove on Ft. Harrison. I think we both picked up 3 or 4 extra Thetans.
And I just saw a commercial for the Catholic Diocese. I guess they have to do it in order to compete with the Scientology commercials. :x
Quote from: Nigel on December 25, 2011, 05:05:59 PM
I went to a Lutheran service this morning to see my friend sing in the Portland Norwegian Chorus, and the pastor delivered theeeee most rambling sermon I've ever heard, half in Swedish and half in English, which somehow concluded that Jesus is like a present wrapped at Fred Meyer, and if you don't unwrap him you'll never get to use the Jesus inside the box.
:?
That sounds :lol: :lulz: :?
Waffle- its possibly understandable. Keep in mind that we are a nation of immigrants who often maintain our cultural identities. Im not sure what the portland scandinavian population looks like but i know a lot of midwesterners are some sort of teutonic or nordic.
Twid,
lives in avery irish and or italian city. Been to a catholic mass on st patricks that was said entirely in irish. Mocked it in church at the time.
Really nothign too weird happened to me....
Except that when I was having dinner at my sister's my sister's brother-in-law's girlfriend's four-year-old son, who I had never met until two hours prior and with who I had had very little interaction with started screaming at me that I couldn't leave when I started putting on my coat. :?
Phox,
Evidently irresistible to small children....
Quote from: Doktor Zero on December 26, 2011, 07:00:15 AM
Really nothign too weird happened to me....
Except that when I was having dinner at my sister's my sister's brother-in-law's girlfriend's four-year-old son, who I had never met until two hours prior and with who I had had very little interaction with started screaming at me that I couldn't leave when I started putting on my coat. :?
Phox,
Evidently irresistible to small children....
That's a four-year-old thing. Apparently he did in fact like you. :lol:
Quote from: Science me, babby on December 26, 2011, 07:04:32 AM
Quote from: Doktor Zero on December 26, 2011, 07:00:15 AM
Really nothign too weird happened to me....
Except that when I was having dinner at my sister's my sister's brother-in-law's girlfriend's four-year-old son, who I had never met until two hours prior and with who I had had very little interaction with started screaming at me that I couldn't leave when I started putting on my coat. :?
Phox,
Evidently irresistible to small children....
That's a four-year-old thing. Apparently he did in fact like you. :lol:
Oh, I get that it's a four-year-old thing. It's still weird, though. :lol:
My Christmas was beautiful, despite my expecting otherwise.
But Christchurch started shaking violently again, which is somewhat "WTF CHRISTMAS?"
Quote from: Nph. Twid. on December 26, 2011, 04:28:15 AM
Waffle- its possibly understandable. Keep in mind that we are a nation of immigrants who often maintain our cultural identities. Im not sure what the portland scandinavian population looks like but i know a lot of midwesterners are some sort of teutonic or nordic.
Twid,
lives in avery irish and or italian city. Been to a catholic mass on st patricks that was said entirely in irish. Mocked it in church at the time.
Catholic mass should be said in Latin, you fucking heathen.
Quote from: Nigel on December 25, 2011, 05:05:59 PM
I went to a Lutheran service this morning to see my friend sing in the Portland Norwegian Chorus, and the pastor delivered theeeee most rambling sermon I've ever heard, half in Swedish and half in English, which somehow concluded that Jesus is like a present wrapped at Fred Meyer, and if you don't unwrap him you'll never get to use the Jesus inside the box.
:?
What is this I don't even.
Of course, I guess church service at the American Church in Oslo is equally baffling.
Quote from: Suu on December 26, 2011, 01:15:55 PM
Quote from: Nph. Twid. on December 26, 2011, 04:28:15 AM
Waffle- its possibly understandable. Keep in mind that we are a nation of immigrants who often maintain our cultural identities. Im not sure what the portland scandinavian population looks like but i know a lot of midwesterners are some sort of teutonic or nordic.
Twid,
lives in avery irish and or italian city. Been to a catholic mass on st patricks that was said entirely in irish. Mocked it in church at the time.
Catholic mass should be said in Latin, you fucking heathen.
Hey man, take it up with the priest. I wasn't the one saying Mass. I was too busy irritating my Nana with the help of my cousin by quietly singing pub songs. We got pinched a lot that day. It just made things worse.
My father and I unfucked my laptop while everyone else watched crappy movies.
Then we sat down to a truly monstrous Christmas dinner, and then staggered home afterward.
Oh, and The Van is down again. :cry:
I'm spending my Boxing Day working from 1300 miles away through Google Docs while sitting under a grapefruit tree outside on my parent's deck.
It's not really weird, because people telecommute all the time, but this is the first time I've done it and I'm feeling very...important? I dunno.
Quote from: Waffle Iron on December 26, 2011, 02:30:53 PM
Quote from: Nigel on December 25, 2011, 05:05:59 PM
I went to a Lutheran service this morning to see my friend sing in the Portland Norwegian Chorus, and the pastor delivered theeeee most rambling sermon I've ever heard, half in Swedish and half in English, which somehow concluded that Jesus is like a present wrapped at Fred Meyer, and if you don't unwrap him you'll never get to use the Jesus inside the box.
:?
What is this I don't even.
Of course, I guess church service at the American Church in Oslo is equally baffling.
Now you know how I felt.
Quote from: Nigel on December 26, 2011, 09:54:27 PM
Quote from: Waffle Iron on December 26, 2011, 02:30:53 PM
Quote from: Nigel on December 25, 2011, 05:05:59 PM
I went to a Lutheran service this morning to see my friend sing in the Portland Norwegian Chorus, and the pastor delivered theeeee most rambling sermon I've ever heard, half in Swedish and half in English, which somehow concluded that Jesus is like a present wrapped at Fred Meyer, and if you don't unwrap him you'll never get to use the Jesus inside the box.
:?
What is this I don't even.
Of course, I guess church service at the American Church in Oslo is equally baffling.
Now you know how I felt.
My sincerest condolences.
Quote from: Waffle Iron on December 26, 2011, 10:27:27 PM
Quote from: Nigel on December 26, 2011, 09:54:27 PM
Quote from: Waffle Iron on December 26, 2011, 02:30:53 PM
Quote from: Nigel on December 25, 2011, 05:05:59 PM
I went to a Lutheran service this morning to see my friend sing in the Portland Norwegian Chorus, and the pastor delivered theeeee most rambling sermon I've ever heard, half in Swedish and half in English, which somehow concluded that Jesus is like a present wrapped at Fred Meyer, and if you don't unwrap him you'll never get to use the Jesus inside the box.
:?
What is this I don't even.
Of course, I guess church service at the American Church in Oslo is equally baffling.
Now you know how I felt.
My sincerest condolences.
You are too kind! To console myself I am eating cornmeal breaded oysters fried in goose fat.
XMAS: The folks loved their stuff, and got me hot sauce, books, and used tools. Mu hu ha ha.
A fire is tradition. Neighbors had a fire alarm that was going off nonstop, linked to the city emerg. services, so the Fire dept. was there to make certain nothing was ACTUALLY burning. Lady of the house was running around like mad trying to find the code, her husband, who had it memorized, was out of touch. Dad knew them, and the firemen, so we went over, and he tried a few guesses at the code. He kept asking me if I had any ideas, and I had to admit I did not memorize the factory reset procedures for alarm systems.
We spent some time in the workshop after this. I was cleaning up said used tools, then we tried to figure out a Harbor Freight bending tool. Sucky documentation, but we were able to figure it out with some trial and error.
Boxing Day: I spent the morning prepping a Pathfinder one-shot that I never got to run. :argh!:
Luna and I then went out to catch some of my college buddies for games. Dominion, 7 Wonders, and Poker. Ended up discussing lock sports, hacking mindset, and security concepts too.
Rolled out of bed the morning of Christmas Eve. No snow. Decided, fuck it, cancel Christmas, and plugged myself into Star Wars: The Old Republic. Was hauled back to reality against my will by a text from a friend informing me that she was picking my miserable ass up in a half hour, and we were going to the party at Master P's house. Set showering record, went to party, and was very politely flirted with, which was... unusual. Fun, but... a little odd. Five Jolly Freeholders. (Limeaide and apple vodka, better than it sounds, and Master P makes 'em brutal for me.)
Christmas Day, went to Suu's boss's place, played with the kids. As is tradition, I picked up the baby, and he filled his diaper. Hid from the family in the kitchen, had fun helping cook. Got an awesome rubber band gun.
Boxing Day, went with Richter to play games with a bunch of people I didn't know. Had an awesome time.
Overall, managed not to be miserable my first Christmas with no family in range and no SO... which surprised the hell out of me.
...I caught my dad keylogging my mom. Much like in the same way I was keylogged by Herbert.
WHAT DO?
Do I tell her now and allow this shit to explode while I'm here? (Which I don't need or want.)
Do I tell her when I get home, which will allow this shit to explode post-Christmas and probably end up with my father on my couch in Rhode Island?
Do I delete the logs, and pray Dad doesn't go batshit on my mom?
Do I do nothing?
:sad:
Go to her computer. Repeatedly type,
"Dad, I know what you're doing. If you don't stop immediately, I'm letting everyone know."
Does he know you caught him?
Oh. I like lmnos suggestion.
Not yet, he left the folder open, but now I know where the folder is, so...maybe I'll just rename the folders. Mom ain't that comp savvy, so I know she won't go looking for it.
Actually, I think the next time I'm on her system, I'm going to uninstall the keylogger as well, I just have to be shady, since I have my own laptop. I can probably do it tonight.
Quote from: Suu on December 27, 2011, 02:07:29 PM
Not yet, he left the folder open, but now I know where the folder is, so...maybe I'll just rename the folders. Mom ain't that comp savvy, so I know she won't go looking for it.
Actually, I think the next time I'm on her system, I'm going to uninstall the keylogger as well, I just have to be shady, since I have my own laptop. I can probably do it tonight.
Won't solve the problem. Either he's figure she did it and blow his stack at her, or he'll blame one of your siblings, and shitstorm will happen.
Or, he'll just reinstall it.
Blame a trojan horse. "Mom, I found this. Be careful, I deleted it, upgraded your virus scanner, andhere's how you look for it. Oh, Dad, I found this on Mom's machine and killed it, showed her how to watch for it, might want to check YOUR machine."
Quote from: Luna on December 27, 2011, 02:17:26 PM
Blame a trojan horse. "Mom, I found this. Be careful, I deleted it, upgraded your virus scanner, andhere's how you look for it. Oh, Dad, I found this on Mom's machine and killed it, showed her how to watch for it, might want to check YOUR machine."
Oooh. That's a good one. "I had this happen to me. It's really creepy."
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 27, 2011, 02:54:14 PM
Quote from: Luna on December 27, 2011, 02:17:26 PM
Blame a trojan horse. "Mom, I found this. Be careful, I deleted it, upgraded your virus scanner, andhere's how you look for it. Oh, Dad, I found this on Mom's machine and killed it, showed her how to watch for it, might want to check YOUR machine."
Oooh. That's a good one. "I had this happen to me. It's really creepy."
Yep. Advantages: Mom knows to watch for it. Dad knows Mom is now watching for it. No blame flying around, so, in theory, no shitstorm. Disadvantage: Dad gets away with dick behavior.
Wow, I have no idea where to start. Let's begin with I'm pretty sure you all know I'm not a practicing Catholic, nor have I taken my children to the church and they did not have a confirmation. So when we exchanged gifts with the boy's girlfriends christmas eve no one was more surprised than me when they gave my daughter a rosary. I don't care, that isn't the thing. Joy put it on then kind of walked around hunched over. I asked her what was wrong and she said (my hand to god I about peed myself) she was afraid she would burst into flames if the cross touched her. Yeah I'm a sick twisted woman, but I did not let her continue to believe that for much longer....... :evil: I did reach out and grab the cross and then threw myself into a conniption as if I were attached to an electric socket. She did not find it as amusing as I did.
Then that evening I went to a party at the boy's girlfriend's aunt's house. I felt I took my racial minority as the only caucasion in stride, I just didn't know how to respond to comments such as when I was in between the girl's mom and aunt for a picture and the guy taking the pisture made an oreo cookie comment.... then later another woman thanked our hosts for adding some racial diversity to their guest list, and it was also insinuated (before my partner and I handed them their ass) that white people can't play spades..... I actually had a great time at the party but I think I made a few other people very uncomfortable :sad:
I guess it should be noted that I seemed to be the only one who found the humor in any of my WTF moments over the holidays. Hey, at least I crack myself up right?
I want to know the parents' face when your daughter actually put ON the rosary, because you're not supposed to wear it around your neck. :lulz:
Quote from: Suu on December 27, 2011, 05:00:45 PM
I want to know the parents' face when your daughter actually put ON the rosary, because you're not supposed to wear it around your neck. :lulz:
I didn't even see what it actually was for a while. Then I had my little playtime at her expense and she hung it on her dresser mirror.
They've become popular as jewelry here, you see people wearing them all the time, god help you if you say something because they get all bent. I just laugh.
Quote from: Suu on December 27, 2011, 05:00:45 PM
I want to know the parents' face when your daughter actually put ON the rosary, because you're not supposed to wear it around your neck. :lulz:
Rosaries have become popular as jewelry in certain communities, I have noticed this is particularly true of African Americans, at least here.
Quote from: Khara on December 27, 2011, 05:05:28 PM
Quote from: Suu on December 27, 2011, 05:00:45 PM
I want to know the parents' face when your daughter actually put ON the rosary, because you're not supposed to wear it around your neck. :lulz:
I didn't even see what it actually was for a while. Then I had my little playtime at her expense and she hung it on her dresser mirror.
They've become popular as jewelry here, you see people wearing them all the time, god help you if you say something because they get all bent. I just laugh.
Yeah that...
Also, I've heard several people swear up and down that their necklaces were not, in fact, rosaries, because quote: "I'm not Catholic." :lulz:
"It's a Y necklace. Remember Y necklaces? Now they're back, in dead Jesus form!"
Quote from: Suu on December 27, 2011, 05:13:17 PM
"It's a Y necklace. Remember Y necklaces? Now they're back, in dead Jesus form!"
Pretty much, yeah. :lulz:
Quote from: Suu on December 27, 2011, 01:53:21 PM
...I caught my dad keylogging my mom. Much like in the same way I was keylogged by Herbert.
WHAT DO?
Do I tell her now and allow this shit to explode while I'm here? (Which I don't need or want.)
Do I tell her when I get home, which will allow this shit to explode post-Christmas and probably end up with my father on my couch in Rhode Island?
Do I delete the logs, and pray Dad doesn't go batshit on my mom?
Do I do nothing?
:sad:
So, this has become a Suu Repository Thread. :|
I thought it fit in the WTF holiday theme. Whatever. Silly me.
Quote from: Suu on December 28, 2011, 04:39:30 AM
I thought it fit in the WTF holiday theme. Whatever. Silly me.
I'm backing you up on this.
This is very appropriate within the thread's context.
Just because Suu has talked about her junk messing up in Open Bar does not mean her father's fucked up actions, in real life, within the context of a fucked up Christmas, and any advice we can offer her aren't relevant here.
i posted about my living grandmother's senility. Can't do shit about that. It was funny, in a way that her grandson gives the go ahead, but you can't give any advice. With Suu, you can. And we should. She's our friend.
Oh, also found out that my father was an illegal immigrant AFTER I WAS BORN
Twid,
Anchor Baby.
Quote from: Areola Shinerbock on December 28, 2011, 05:38:46 AM
Oh, also found out that my father was an illegal immigrant AFTER I WAS BORN
Twid,
Anchor Baby.
You're a terror baby. :lol:
Quote from: Doktor Zero on December 28, 2011, 05:51:14 AM
Quote from: Areola Shinerbock on December 28, 2011, 05:38:46 AM
Oh, also found out that my father was an illegal immigrant AFTER I WAS BORN
Twid,
Anchor Baby.
You're a terror baby. :lol:
Can you car bomb an anchor? :wink:
Quote from: Areola Shinerbock on December 28, 2011, 05:58:40 AM
Quote from: Doktor Zero on December 28, 2011, 05:51:14 AM
Quote from: Areola Shinerbock on December 28, 2011, 05:38:46 AM
Oh, also found out that my father was an illegal immigrant AFTER I WAS BORN
Twid,
Anchor Baby.
You're a terror baby. :lol:
Can you car bomb an anchor? :wink:
^ All of that is funny to me :lol:
Quote from: Areola Shinerbock on December 28, 2011, 05:38:46 AM
Oh, also found out that my father was an illegal immigrant AFTER I WAS BORN
Twid,
Anchor Baby.
OMG that is
so lame, he could've told you BEFORE YOU WERE BORN!!
.. I mean, what kind of father does not share all his dirty little secrets with his semen?
Quote from: Triple Zero on December 28, 2011, 01:11:25 PM
Quote from: Areola Shinerbock on December 28, 2011, 05:38:46 AM
Oh, also found out that my father was an illegal immigrant AFTER I WAS BORN
Twid,
Anchor Baby.
OMG that is so lame, he could've told you BEFORE YOU WERE BORN!!
.. I mean, what kind of father does not share all his dirty little secrets with his semen?
:lulz:
I'm going to now make it a point to tell my nutsack everything.
Okay, I'm going to give why I said what I said first, and then I will apologize.
To me, it sounded like "I have drama! HALP!" and not "Oh this other fucked up thing happened on Christmas." Suu, you do it constantly, and I have so little patience for it anymore that I'm reading into things wrongly now, it seems.
So I'm sorry.
It's fine. This whole vacation has been a pile of weird for me, anyway. I'm actually keeping it off the board except for that bit, because it...well...it really pissed me the fuck off.