Please "craft", at your convenience, a full page memo full of corporatese that says precisely NOTHING, except perhaps "I wrote a memo".
This should be as indecipherable to actual humans as possible.
I have a legitimate need for this.
I'm on it.
Ouch.
___________________________
Gentlemen:
Pursuant to the relevant take aways from the whiteboarded "parking lot" as presented during our most recent Three-Sixty review, consider this the first of myriad action items going forward in order to ramp up our mission-critical solution.
By implementing a "Get to Yes" approach coupled with the "We Wins" strategies, it becomes apparent that to innovate a solve, we must circle back to touch base with Core Values; our Value Proposition must strive for real-time bundling aimed at a long-tail approach.
Disintermediation can be tech-session proof if we refuse bowing to benchmarking and semantic mapping of negative business objectives that make greenlining less impactful. In fact, brandstorming online models of workflow will undoubtedly give us first-mover advantage of the glocalization of low-hanging fruit.
It must be pointed out that consumer initiated click triggers offer exclusivity and enhance relationship marketing through best in class search maturation according to the trended analysis of value pushing bounce rates. Incremental improvement of austerity will double down on demand creation as soon as the digital natives lead the re-engineered query optimization downstream.
The inherent value of open door aspects relating to information flow in non-linear narratives as stated above cannot be stressed enough. I trust that in the next fiscal quarter we can regroup to further analyze our share of voice as it relates to goal setting.
Thanks,
How the fuck do you get to sleep at night? :lulz:
Thanks. Putting to nefarious use now.
jesus I was nowhere near that.... :lulz:
:mittens:
LMNO you are a master of the game!!!
You know what sucks? I had to consciously stop myself from actually having it make sense.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on January 13, 2012, 08:27:23 PM
You know what sucks? I had to consciously stop myself from actually having it make sense.
I hadn't considered the risk that you'd get stuck that way.
But never fear, that risk shall not be in vain, as I have just used Mike's email account to send that to everyone in the division.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 13, 2012, 08:32:02 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on January 13, 2012, 08:27:23 PM
You know what sucks? I had to consciously stop myself from actually having it make sense.
I hadn't considered the risk that you'd get stuck that way.
But never fear, that risk shall not be in vain, as I have just used Mike's email account to send that to everyone in the division.
:trolling:
:peedee:
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on January 13, 2012, 08:33:44 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 13, 2012, 08:32:02 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on January 13, 2012, 08:27:23 PM
You know what sucks? I had to consciously stop myself from actually having it make sense.
I hadn't considered the risk that you'd get stuck that way.
But never fear, that risk shall not be in vain, as I have just used Mike's email account to send that to everyone in the division.
:trolling:
:peedee:
I had no choice. He's written his password on the cardboard backing of his desk blotter. Again.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 13, 2012, 08:34:34 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on January 13, 2012, 08:33:44 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 13, 2012, 08:32:02 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on January 13, 2012, 08:27:23 PM
You know what sucks? I had to consciously stop myself from actually having it make sense.
I hadn't considered the risk that you'd get stuck that way.
But never fear, that risk shall not be in vain, as I have just used Mike's email account to send that to everyone in the division.
:trolling:
:peedee:
I had no choice. He's written his password on the cardboard backing of his desk blotter. Again.
:lulz:
Damn, I just realized all the lulz I missed out. I had an OIC who did worse. His passwords were written on the whiteboard in his cubicle. :argh!:
Quote from: Don Coyote on January 13, 2012, 08:37:04 PM
Damn, I just realized all the lulz I missed out. I had an OIC who did worse. His passwords were written on the whiteboard in his cubicle. :argh!:
When Mike did this last time, I sent emails to the CEO.
QuoteDear ****,
I yearn for you tragically.
Love,
Mike
Pretty sure it was Mike. Might have been Tom.
:spittake:
Shit, I think I lost a sanity point trying to decipher that.
Masterful, Roger. :lulz:
:golfclap: That was beautiful, gentlemen.
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on January 13, 2012, 09:37:59 PM
:golfclap: That was beautiful, gentlemen.
We're artists, really. He speaks the evil, and I do the evil. To the evil.
Of course, I politely request any subsequent reactions from co-workers be posted here.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on January 13, 2012, 09:47:58 PM
Of course, I politely request any subsequent reactions from co-workers be posted here.
Oh, God, yes, please!
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on January 13, 2012, 08:27:23 PM
You know what sucks? I had to consciously stop myself from actually having it make sense.
It took you way too short, too ;-)
(nice btw)
You're fucking brilliant, the both of you. :lulz:
This is beautiful, all of it. :lulz: Thank god for degenerates like you in the world.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on January 13, 2012, 08:12:13 PM
Ouch.
___________________________
Gentlemen:
Pursuant to the relevant take aways from the whiteboarded "parking lot" as presented during our most recent Three-Sixty review, consider this the first of myriad action items going forward in order to ramp up our mission-critical solution.
By implementing a "Get to Yes" approach coupled with the "We Wins" strategies, it becomes apparent that to innovate a solve, we must circle back to touch base with Core Values; our Value Proposition must strive for real-time bundling aimed at a long-tail approach.
Disintermediation can be tech-session proof if we refuse bowing to benchmarking and semantic mapping of negative business objectives that make greenlining less impactful. In fact, brandstorming online models of workflow will undoubtedly give us first-mover advantage of the glocalization of low-hanging fruit.
It must be pointed out that consumer initiated click triggers offer exclusivity and enhance relationship marketing through best in class search maturation according to the trended analysis of value pushing bounce rates. Incremental improvement of austerity will double down on demand creation as soon as the digital natives lead the re-engineered query optimization downstream.
The inherent value of open door aspects relating to information flow in non-linear narratives as stated above cannot be stressed enough. I trust that in the next fiscal quarter we can regroup to further analyze our share of voice as it relates to goal setting.
Thanks,
Jesus fuck, this is amazing.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 13, 2012, 08:32:02 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on January 13, 2012, 08:27:23 PM
You know what sucks? I had to consciously stop myself from actually having it make sense.
I hadn't considered the risk that you'd get stuck that way.
But never fear, that risk shall not be in vain, as I have just used Mike's email account to send that to everyone in the division.
OH MY SWEET HOLY FUCK
WINWINWINWINWINWIN!!!
This one's for our new friend, Internet Jesus.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on January 13, 2012, 08:12:13 PM
Ouch.
___________________________
Gentlemen:
Pursuant to the relevant take aways from the whiteboarded "parking lot" as presented during our most recent Three-Sixty review, consider this the first of myriad action items going forward in order to ramp up our mission-critical solution.
By implementing a "Get to Yes" approach coupled with the "We Wins" strategies, it becomes apparent that to innovate a solve, we must circle back to touch base with Core Values; our Value Proposition must strive for real-time bundling aimed at a long-tail approach.
Disintermediation can be tech-session proof if we refuse bowing to benchmarking and semantic mapping of negative business objectives that make greenlining less impactful. In fact, brandstorming online models of workflow will undoubtedly give us first-mover advantage of the glocalization of low-hanging fruit.
It must be pointed out that consumer initiated click triggers offer exclusivity and enhance relationship marketing through best in class search maturation according to the trended analysis of value pushing bounce rates. Incremental improvement of austerity will double down on demand creation as soon as the digital natives lead the re-engineered query optimization downstream.
The inherent value of open door aspects relating to information flow in non-linear narratives as stated above cannot be stressed enough. I trust that in the next fiscal quarter we can regroup to further analyze our share of voice as it relates to goal setting.
Thanks,
I worship you like an Ewok worships C-3PO, LMNO.
Shallowly, and only in the hopes that I can harness your magic for my own ends.
The only magic I have is an understanding of the binary language of moisture vaporators.
OOOOOH! :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
That is beyond brilliant.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on September 19, 2012, 07:46:34 PM
The only magic I have is an understanding of the binary language of moisture vaporators.
Yes, but do you speak Bachi?
Is now a Star Wars™ thread.
I hate Star Wars.
So Rog, what DID happen after you sent that email?
Bump for current needs. This is genius level shit, and it occurs to me that I am now in a position to reuse it.
Bump because I have another use for this.