This has been my obsession as of late.
It started when I discovered that Rodney Dangerfield had a hip hop single called "Rappin' Rodney"
(http://www.e-profession.com/images/rodney_dangerfield_rappin.jpg)
Behold and Despair: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLGxWPtgodo
It's pretty catchy, actually. And No, Rodney doesn't "rap", he just delivers a bunch of his classic one-liners with some backup singers. The whole thing is hilarious because (1) there is no way in hell that this was Rodney Dangerfield's idea (2) at one point in history, this is what music producers thought rap music should sound like.
Actually, I think it WAS his idea. The video was one of the funniest things he ever did.
Our next stop on the tour is in 1987. Bruce Willis has an uplifting message for us: "Respect yourself"!
(http://991.com/newGallery/Bruce-Willis-Respect-Yourself-116362.jpg)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CKsRLu1gnM
Bruce Willis manages to stay in the background and doesn't embarrass himself too much, the other singer carries most of the song.
You go too far, Cram.
What's next, that jackass from Miami Vice?
I would throw every singly one of the Disney Channel/Nickelodeon Teen Princesses into this category.
(http://rigsamarole.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/cover.jpg?w=300&h=300)
Joey Lawrence, "Nothing My Love Can't Fix"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7FtI3cmZ38
Joey's pretty hilarious even without the music career. A year or two ago, LMNO asked the WOMP Cabal to assemble some images to use in a music video about Joey Lawrence strangling a stripper.
I'll share some of those with you now.
(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/JoeyLawrence/joeyforprez.jpg)
(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/JoeyLawrence/joeylawrencefanclub.jpg)
(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/JoeyLawrence/joeyrocklobster.jpg)
(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/JoeyLawrence/joeandprost8.jpg)
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 17, 2012, 04:00:18 PM
Actually, I think it WAS his idea. The video was one of the funniest things he ever did.
oh true, the video is hilarious, it's just from a period (1983) where everybody was trying to cash in on the rap music, and a lot of really awful music was made which is pretty cringeworthy today. That might be a good thread topic too, early hip hop recorded and produced by white guys.
Quote from: Cramulus on January 17, 2012, 04:14:20 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 17, 2012, 04:00:18 PM
Actually, I think it WAS his idea. The video was one of the funniest things he ever did.
oh true, the video is hilarious, it's just from a period (1983) where everybody was trying to cash in on the rap music, and a lot of really awful music was made which is pretty cringeworthy today. That might be a good thread topic too, early hip hop recorded and produced by white guys.
sidebar: http://youtu.be/5bxXldurOEo That would be Alice Cooper and Mitch Pileggi (aka Skinner from the X-Files) rapping
In 1988 Joe Pesci released an entire album written from the point of view of his character in My Cousin Vinny. And yes, he raps.
(http://www.examiner.com/images/blog/EXID15166/images/joe-pesci.jpg)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4et8Dt6rco&feature=player_embedded#at=39
Quote from: Cramulus on January 17, 2012, 04:14:20 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 17, 2012, 04:00:18 PM
Actually, I think it WAS his idea. The video was one of the funniest things he ever did.
oh true, the video is hilarious, it's just from a period (1983) where everybody was trying to cash in on the rap music, and a lot of really awful music was made which is pretty cringeworthy today. That might be a good thread topic too, early hip hop recorded and produced by white guys.
It was invented by a White guy, by the name of Lord Buckley.
Eddie Murphy and Rick James teamed up Party All The Time
(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0K4ZmtXvnOw/TrCU9FFS7TI/AAAAAAAAAio/9hmnYtwdgb4/s1600/Eddie-Murphy.jpg)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5LX16zia2k
look at Rick James, this is the best hair in hip hop:
(http://www.zeitgeistyreport.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/murphy.jpg)
at first I thought it was just Eddie Murphy wearing a ridiculous wig a la The Nutty Professor or something
triplezero you can just HEAR everybody in your thread THINKING "please don't anyone mention the Hoff PLEASE"
triplezero but, the Hoff
thanks trip
(http://991.com/newGallery/David-Hasselhoff-Jump-In-My-Car-375116.jpg)
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3382491587979249836
Jump in Hasslehoff's car... just make sure he hasn't had like 31 beers.
(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb91/korn33lamb/hasselhoff.gif)
(http://images.dailyfill.com/cc020152ab774185_aec5b967eb45ac01/o/hasselhoff-cheeseburger.jpg)(http://picchore.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/hasselhoff.jpg)
I'm not sure if this counts, but a young Vin Diesel was in a "how to breakdance" video in the deep 80s.
(http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c179/GORTHO1/Vin-Diesel-Breakdancing1.jpg)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mPfrj-3zwlI&feature=player_embedded#!
(http://childhoodrelived.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/scott_baio.jpg)
(http://static.rateyourmusic.com/album_images/f96ccf144badeb330f40cee64175ce19/297698.jpg)
For a short period of time, Scott Baio was known as "the Michael Jackson of Japan". No shit.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8b6TyrDRCac
Be glad this song doesn't have a full video.
Russell Crowe: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIzxoITH2Hg
Kevin Costner: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qB7YnYqEF0E
These are bad, but not as awful as I'd hoped.
Quote from: Cramulus on January 17, 2012, 04:32:43 PM
triplezero you can just HEAR everybody in your thread THINKING "please don't anyone mention the Hoff PLEASE"
triplezero but, the Hoff
thanks trip
http://991.com/newGallery/David-Hasselhoff-Jump-In-My-Car-375116.jpg
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3382491587979249836
Jump in Hasslehoff's car... just make sure he hasn't had like 31 beers.
http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb91/korn33lamb/hasselhoff.gif
http://images.dailyfill.com/cc020152ab774185_aec5b967eb45ac01/o/hasselhoff-cheeseburger.jpg
http://picchore.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/hasselhoff.jpg
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! NSFW! NSFW!
YOU POSTED PICS OF DAVID HASSLEHOFF AND DIDN'T EVEN WARN US! :crankey:
Phox,
Has the.... well, okay, it's not the
weirdest boner. But she has it.
COREY FELDMAN
WHY
(http://img.metro.co.uk/i/pix/2012/01/02/article-1325507399220-0F517F3500000578-559065_406x650.jpg)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cylUp7cRU7s
this shit is really awful
really really awful
then: (on the left)
(http://thecount.com/wp-content/uploads/coreys.jpeg)
now:
(http://shoeblogs.com/wordpress/images/Screen-shot-2011-03-18-at-3.21.14-PM.png)
*shudder*
Oh Cram, what have we done for you to punish us in this way? :lulz:
Poor Corey, he never got over there not being a Goonies II.
This next post is off-topic, it's a celebrity whose musical career KICKS ASS
(http://www.fearnet.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/2010321/Charlemagne.jpg)
Lee released a symphonic metal album about his descendant, Charlemange.
I can't find a better video clip at the moment, so here's the trailer for the opera: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTrC8tY-mto
Everything Christopher Lee does is badass.
WOW! Ok that almost makes up for Corey and the Hoff......
almost..... :crankey:
Opinion is stil divided as to whether Holly Valance's music "career" or her acting "career" or her modelling "career" is the worst of her career moves.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ppl1OQ3QXVk
It should be noted this is a cover of a song by a very flamboyant and male Turkish musician. Just to fix that image in your head
Billie Piper's music career was also mercifully short lived.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymGtEFFL-K0&feature=fvst
Uhh, you know your "then" pic was of the OTHER Corey, right?
Anyway, I saw Feldman's band once. It was fucking awesome. Not the music, just the fact that I was in a rathole dive club getting wasted and watching Corey fucking Feldman's band.
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on January 17, 2012, 06:16:08 PM
Uhh, you know your "then" pic was of the OTHER Corey, right?
WHOOPS! ah damn, good catch
ETA: Fixed
QuoteAnyway, I saw Feldman's band once. It was fucking awesome. Not the music, just the fact that I was in a rathole dive club getting wasted and watching Corey fucking Feldman's band.
yeah that sounds like a transformative experience that would make you realize every single thing you give a shit about has been a colossal waste of time because you're not Corey Feldman.
About a month or two after that show, Seattle was rocked by an earthquake.
Only one building in the downtown area was so badly damaged that it had to be condemned.
It was the OK Hotel, where Corey Feldman's band had played.
Coincidence? I'll let you decide.
OOH! OOH! OOH!
I've got one!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7TSnE1b-Bs (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7TSnE1b-Bs)
hahahaha good find! Ohh Keanu....
spotted this in the related videos:
(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_wvTCX3C_UeE/SB9mq7M3VsI/AAAAAAAACzk/2-B_DxEcw_A/s320/StevenSeagal-SongsFromTheCrystalCave.jpg)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PU93PbZijNM&feature=related
I sometimes can't believe this was really made:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hyyTuEws9Os
Ahh! That reminds me how I got stuck in this time vortex to begin with!
(http://www.revolvermag.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/macho-man-randy-savage1.jpg?9d7bd4)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWzIzIUZQgs
This is the perfect "rap" video (note the quotes). Macho Man Randy Savage would like you to know that he is your friend. DIG IT! DIG IT!
The best part is the montage of Macho Man hanging out with a bunch of apparently inner city kids, encouraging them, patting them on the back, and explaining that he will be with them always. Like Jesus.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on January 17, 2012, 06:50:02 PM
I sometimes can't believe this was really made:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hyyTuEws9Os
and while we're on Hulk Hogan's musical career:
"I Wanna Be a Hulkamaniac (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2ndIhkA_ss)" --- this song presents a positive message of responsibility and morality to today's youth. But I could swear he says "Pasta thoughts and pasta deeds... these are the only things a hulkamaniac needs"
(http://headlinerdiners.com/images/HogansPastamania.jpg)
CRAM YOU DAMULUS!!! I was just getting ready to post the Hulk one..... :lulz:
God these are scary!!!
Cross overs that shouldn't be:
Pat Boone does Guns n' Roses.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wu0aEwhjj4
None of them. NONE of them should have musical careers. Not even if they are good musicians; ESPECIALLY the ones who are good musicians and who started as musicians. Because they all record with major record labels.
Dude major labels may suck but they exist for a reason. Their biggest sin was not being able to evolve quickly enough and responding inappropriately to new technology.
Quote from: Billy the Twid on January 17, 2012, 11:37:22 PM
Dude major labels may suck but they exist for a reason. Their biggest sin was not being able to evolve quickly enough and responding inappropriately to new technology.
They had a reason for existing once, but in the current age they do more harm than good.
Quote from: Cramulus on January 17, 2012, 04:03:39 PM
Our next stop on the tour is in 1987. Bruce Willis has an uplifting message for us: "Respect yourself"!
(http://991.com/newGallery/Bruce-Willis-Respect-Yourself-116362.jpg)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CKsRLu1gnM
Bruce Willis manages to stay in the background and doesn't embarrass himself too much, the other singer carries most of the song.
I had that album. On tape. No kidding.
Diogenes-
career musicians make most of their living off of touring and merch thats sold on tour.
You cant go on tour unless its funded. It wont be profitable if its not promoted. You cant make the next date if you dont get bailed out of jail. Major labels still fulfill these functions. Its not just about album sales.
Twid
would be on tour right now if he wasnt reasonably sure that his debit card balance is more appropriately measured in cents.
Quote from: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on January 17, 2012, 11:59:19 PM
Quote from: Billy the Twid on January 17, 2012, 11:37:22 PM
Dude major labels may suck but they exist for a reason. Their biggest sin was not being able to evolve quickly enough and responding inappropriately to new technology.
They had a reason for existing once, but in the current age they do more harm than good.
Not that I'm necessarily disagreeing, but do you have any reason for that statement?
Quote from: Mangrove on January 17, 2012, 11:15:12 PM
Cross overs that shouldn't be:
Pat Boone does Guns n' Roses.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wu0aEwhjj4 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wu0aEwhjj4)
But yet, not as cringeworthy as Sheryl Crow's cover of Sweet Child O' Mine.
Also diogenes- your implication seems to be that no one should have music careers because record labels are evil. You might want to clarify that point especially since you said labels once served a purpose meaning that some of these people at one time were entitled to careers.
Also im ok with this convo being split out of crams thread. I get the feeling this might turn spaggy.
Quote from: Cramulus on January 17, 2012, 06:37:19 PM
hahahaha good find! Ohh Keanu....
spotted this in the related videos:
(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_wvTCX3C_UeE/SB9mq7M3VsI/AAAAAAAACzk/2-B_DxEcw_A/s320/StevenSeagal-SongsFromTheCrystalCave.jpg)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PU93PbZijNM&feature=related
What's disturbing about that is that it's nowhere near as bad as his acting. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUaesUh-M3Q
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on January 17, 2012, 06:50:02 PM
I sometimes can't believe this was really made:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hyyTuEws9Os
I only watched about ten seconds of it but I think my soul is damaged now.
Quote from: Billy the Twid on January 18, 2012, 12:27:44 AM
Also diogenes- your implication seems to be that no one should have music careers because record labels are evil. You might want to clarify that point especially since you said labels once served a purpose meaning that some of these people at one time were entitled to careers.
Also im ok with this convo being split out of crams thread. I get the feeling this might turn spaggy.
Spaggier than a drug thread full of crusty Anarchists.
Not necessarily. I'm willing to consider that there's a reasonable argument to be made there (regardless of whether it's right or wrong) and I would start with the assumption that at the very least someone making that argument on behalf of working musicians rather than consumers probably isn't going to end up on an anti-IP tirade.