The gift of sight is both a blessing and a burden.
I didn't ask Eris for this AWESOME and IMPORTANT superhuman ability, and it weighs heavily on me.
And yet...it comforts me.
It comforts me to know, without doubt or question that on the 4th of June 2045 ECH will lead The Hustle Offensive, in which an army of killer, mutated rats will eat congress, the senate, and the entire Food Network. Sure, millions of people and several rats will be killed. Sure. just think of where we might be without his sacrifice.
I am also deeply comforted to know that Faust runs our servers since it will be revealed on August 6th 2032 that he is the Batman.
Possessing knowledge like this is awesome, if troubling.
It pains me to know that TGRR will pass away taking what papers will refer to as "An Act of Unmitigated Terror". Those who know him will know the event that destroyed Tucson as "The Last "Vindaloo".
And poor Cramulus. Poor, poor Cramulus. He will fight his whole life against the scourge of diabetus only to succumb to the sickness himself in the year 2015. Too soon. Too soon. The image of him, passed out and surrounded by broken, and empty, insulin needles, haunts me.
Perhaps the most shocking revelation was a flash into the year 3005. Badbeast was there, totally unchanged. Because he is a robot from the future. Do not trust him.
Please, don't ask me to fortell what is to come. The flashes come, terrifying and brutal, they come. It's too much, my friends, just too much.
I keep trying, Alty...But I can't make the poomp reach critical mass.
The fact that prophecy states that I one day will, brings peace to an old man's ichor pump heart.
FUCK THAT! I AM NOT GETTING DIABETES. I WOULD KILL MYSELF FIRST. PEOPLE WITH DIABETES ARE DESPICABLE AMORAL HUMAN BEINGS AND I WOULD RATHER HAVE A DEER TICK ON MY EYEBALL THAN BE IN A ROOM WITH ONE OF THEM. I WILL NOT JOIN THEIR RANKS. THE ONLY CONTACT I WANT WITH DIABETICS INVOLVES HITTING THEM WITH MY CAR.
Quote from: Cramulus on January 25, 2012, 06:36:56 PM
FUCK THAT! I AM NOT GETTING DIABETES. I WOULD KILL MYSELF FIRST. PEOPLE WITH DIABETES ARE DESPICABLE AMORAL HUMAN BEINGS AND I WOULD RATHER HAVE A DEER TICK ON MY EYEBALL THAN BE IN A ROOM WITH ONE OF THEM. I WILL NOT JOIN THEIR RANKS. THE ONLY CONTACT I WANT WITH DIABETICS INVOLVES HITTING THEM WITH MY CAR.
I hate to break it to you, but that is actually how it is spread. :cry:
Quote from: Cramulus on January 25, 2012, 06:36:56 PM
FUCK THAT! I AM NOT GETTING DIABETES. I WOULD KILL MYSELF FIRST. PEOPLE WITH DIABETES ARE DESPICABLE AMORAL HUMAN BEINGS AND I WOULD RATHER HAVE A DEER TICK ON MY EYEBALL THAN BE IN A ROOM WITH ONE OF THEM. I WILL NOT JOIN THEIR RANKS. THE ONLY CONTACT I WANT WITH DIABETICS INVOLVES HITTING THEM WITH MY CAR.
You SAY that, but we KNOW about your perversion.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 25, 2012, 06:36:05 PM
I keep trying, Alty...But I can't make the poomp reach critical mass.
The fact that prophecy states that I one day will, brings peace to an old man's ichor pump heart.
Then my gift is that much more valuable.
Quote from: Cramulus on January 25, 2012, 06:36:56 PM
FUCK THAT! I AM NOT GETTING DIABETES. I WOULD KILL MYSELF FIRST. PEOPLE WITH DIABETES ARE DESPICABLE AMORAL HUMAN BEINGS AND I WOULD RATHER HAVE A DEER TICK ON MY EYEBALL THAN BE IN A ROOM WITH ONE OF THEM. I WILL NOT JOIN THEIR RANKS. THE ONLY CONTACT I WANT WITH DIABETICS INVOLVES HITTING THEM WITH MY CAR.
You can't escape your destiny, it has been foretold. In the OP.
You can't escape it any more than Coyote can escape being one of the congressmen who will lose their lives in The Hustle Offensive.
Quote from: Alty on January 25, 2012, 06:45:54 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on January 25, 2012, 06:36:56 PM
FUCK THAT! I AM NOT GETTING DIABETES. I WOULD KILL MYSELF FIRST. PEOPLE WITH DIABETES ARE DESPICABLE AMORAL HUMAN BEINGS AND I WOULD RATHER HAVE A DEER TICK ON MY EYEBALL THAN BE IN A ROOM WITH ONE OF THEM. I WILL NOT JOIN THEIR RANKS. THE ONLY CONTACT I WANT WITH DIABETICS INVOLVES HITTING THEM WITH MY CAR.
You can escape your destiny, it has been foretold. In the OP.
You can't escape it any more than Coyote can escape being one of the congressmen who will lose their lives in The Hustle Offensive.
Evidently I need to up my dosage of Proph-o-block before you shifty bastards start fortelling more of my
evil plans future.
(http://i1196.photobucket.com/albums/aa417/DoktorHowl/cramshot.jpg)
never.
NEVER.
NEAVARRR
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:cramstipated:
This is beautiful. :lulz:
This thread is so full of win!
I like knowing that I will have something to do once I reach retirement age.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 25, 2012, 06:51:31 PM
(http://i1196.photobucket.com/albums/aa417/DoktorHowl/cramshot.jpg)
Uncanny.
/
:judge:
Some of you may be happy to know that Freeky will not only become the fiercest warrior in the Battle for New Tucson, she will lead her band of 'Dloo-blasted, disfigured freaks against chemically enhanced Calvinists and come out victorious. Their overly-sized heads will mount the walls of that city until they are nothing but dust.
Also, Captain Utopia will be an unhinged, paranoid idiot forever.
Quote from: Alty on January 25, 2012, 08:17:54 PM
Also, Captain Utopia will be an unhinged, paranoid idiot forever.
This is what we in the business refer to as the gross prophet margin.
:lol:
All I know is what my guts tell me. My POWERS come from the depths of my bowels, where I store all my prana. My smelly, smelly prana.
And they tell me that there will be statues of LMNO, celebrating his many hats, all over North America. These statues will be heated, will vibrate in a terrifying manner, and people of all shapes and sized will be drawn to them with no clear reasoning as to why. No one knows when the arrived, how they were made, or why. But decades after their presence is made cults will be established. They will make great and terrible sacrifices to these statues.
And all will be as should be.
Go boston!
Quote from: Alty on January 25, 2012, 08:28:42 PM
:lol:
All I know is what my guts tell me. My POWERS come from the depths of my bowels, where I store all my prana. My smelly, smelly prana.
And they tell me that there will be statues of LMNO, celebrating his many hats, all over North America. These statues will be heated, will vibrate in a terrifying manner, and people of all shapes and sized will be drawn to them with no clear reasoning as to why. No one knows when the arrived, how they were made, or why. But decades after their presence is made cults will be established. They will make great and terrible sacrifices to these statues.
All of this will happen, of course, AFTER he is devoured by electrical space demons from the Ru Paul dimension.
Ooooh! Do me!
I'm afraid we don't have time for that, Navkat. I have the strangest feeling that your eventual blossoming into pure electronic funk will be taking place sooner than later. It will happen a few weeks after the point where your dancing can simply no longer be stopped. They will try to stop you, they will try to save themselves by the beat-down. But they will all melt like butter (literally) at the sheer force that transforms you into electronic doom.
Twid, who will kill Bono in front of millions of people during a duel, will attempt to thwart this becoming because it threatens the fabric of sound itself and he would like to ask some more questions. He will lose much in this epic battle, not the least of all his beard, and he will not win. Though people will sing his praises and his songs and remember that guy who finally got fucking rid of bono.
You know what's really going to suck when Secret Agent Garbo sells us all down the river to certain government agencies after the Non-Compliance Act of 2041. Some of us, those who are less careful, are going to wake up with black bags around our heads and the smell of urine not to far off. All I can see is her maniacal grin as she applies the cables to Remington's face. He thought he was safe in Canada. No one is safe.
ELECTRONIC DOOM! YAAAAAAAAY!
:hosrie: :milk:
I find this all strangely comforting. And am oddly unconcerned that I read this just before going to sleep after slightly more alcohol than I generally allow myself when home alone.
Quote from: Alty on January 26, 2012, 12:44:07 AM
You know what's really going to suck when Secret Agent Garbo sells us all down the river to certain government agencies after the Non-Compliance Act of 2041. Some of us, those who are less careful, are going to wake up with black bags around our heads and the smell of urine not to far off. All I can see is her maniacal grin as she applies the cables to Remington's face. He thought he was safe in Canada. No one is safe.
I should start taking notes.
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on January 26, 2012, 05:57:26 AM
Quote from: Alty on January 26, 2012, 12:44:07 AM
You know what's really going to suck when Secret Agent Garbo sells us all down the river to certain government agencies after the Non-Compliance Act of 2041. Some of us, those who are less careful, are going to wake up with black bags around our heads and the smell of urine not to far off. All I can see is her maniacal grin as she applies the cables to Remington's face. He thought he was safe in Canada. No one is safe.
I should start taking notes.
I never trusted you. You go on hikes in BIG groups, and come back in LITTLE groups, and the coyotes are all fat & sassy up in your neck of the woods. YOU DON'T FOOL ME WITH YOUR RAVE-DANCING AND YOUR WEIRD FRIENDS THAT DANCE LIKE THEY HAVE NO ELBOWS, YOUNG LADY!
It's not like I lie about my intentions, Roger. "Oh, yeah, most of you probably won't come back. And there's a reason why the coyotes are following us like sharks after a trash boat. It's because as soon as we're near an appropriate ledge, I'm going to throw you overboard, so to speak." If they laugh instead of believing me, well. *shrug* I warned 'em.
And I guess you guys got advanced warning, too, thanks to Alty.
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on January 26, 2012, 06:06:34 AM
It's not like I lie about my intentions, Roger. "Oh, yeah, most of you probably won't come back. And there's a reason why the coyotes are following us like sharks after a trash boat. It's because as soon as we're near an appropriate ledge, I'm going to throw you overboard, so to speak." If they laugh instead of believing me, well. *shrug* I warned 'em.
And I guess you guys got advanced warning, too, thanks to Alty.
Well, who would believe it? They probably chuckle a bit and say "SHE SO CRAZY", but then they're freestyling off the side of a ravine with no parachute. Or it's "Here, hold this anvil", or "Smoke a bit of this, it'll make you nutso", or "does this smell like chloroform?"
I'd call the authorities, but it occurs to me that anything that empties out Fresno is a public service.
I think we all need to take a minute and reflect on all that we owe Garbo.
I had a whole bunch of leaked spoilers (Being from so far in the future and all) that I was going to share here, about the giant Scarab Beetles that live under the sand in Arizona, and the soon to be opened Minehead to Montauk Atlantic tunnel. But due to my 'outing' ITT, I have to run some trans-temporal security protocols first. Of course, I'll have wipe your memory with some hypnogogically strobing gifs, then reboot your brains with jump leads, my Tractor, and Windows Vista. But I'm sure we can get all that done nice and quickly, with a minimum of agonising, searing hot pain. Didn't Alty say in the OP that I "was to be trusted"? "In all things?"
:fap: Oh. Well, don't say you weren't warned.
Quote from: Alty on January 26, 2012, 12:29:25 AM
I'm afraid we don't have time for that, Navkat. I have the strangest feeling that your eventual blossoming into pure electronic funk will be taking place sooner than later. It will happen a few weeks after the point where your dancing can simply no longer be stopped. They will try to stop you, they will try to save themselves by the beat-down. But they will all melt like butter (literally) at the sheer force that transforms you into electronic doom.
Twid, who will kill Bono in front of millions of people during a duel, will attempt to thwart this becoming because it threatens the fabric of sound itself and he would like to ask some more questions. He will lose much in this epic battle, not the least of all his beard, and he will not win. Though people will sing his praises and his songs and remember that guy who finally got fucking rid of bono.
I like a rare U2 song. But I like my Irish music folk and I like my rock either British or American. And I like my Metal from anywhere.
I accept this duel and I will take this one in honor of Phil Lynott, the first Irish rock star.
Fuck that Bono guy. He's too busy saving the world to not put out shitty music.
Fuck Bonio. He's just a coked up dwarf with a hat fetish. Val Doonican was the first Irish rock star.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RnYWmQrvGgE&feature=related
Epic thread.
Quote from: Cramulus on January 25, 2012, 06:36:56 PM
FUCK THAT! I AM NOT GETTING DIABETES. I WOULD KILL MYSELF FIRST. PEOPLE WITH DIABETES ARE DESPICABLE AMORAL HUMAN BEINGS AND I WOULD RATHER HAVE A DEER TICK ON MY EYEBALL THAN BE IN A ROOM WITH ONE OF THEM. I WILL NOT JOIN THEIR RANKS. THE ONLY CONTACT I WANT WITH DIABETICS INVOLVES HITTING THEM WITH MY CAR.
You doom comes Cramulus. It comes under the name PAULA DEEN: http://www.ecorazzi.com/2012/01/24/paula-deen-shocked-by-diabetes-backlash/
(http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/421745_224508650970179_157750900979288_493400_1272111049_n.jpg)
christ, what an asshole
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 26, 2012, 06:13:20 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on January 26, 2012, 06:06:34 AM
It's not like I lie about my intentions, Roger. "Oh, yeah, most of you probably won't come back. And there's a reason why the coyotes are following us like sharks after a trash boat. It's because as soon as we're near an appropriate ledge, I'm going to throw you overboard, so to speak." If they laugh instead of believing me, well. *shrug* I warned 'em.
And I guess you guys got advanced warning, too, thanks to Alty.
Well, who would believe it? They probably chuckle a bit and say "SHE SO CRAZY", but then they're freestyling off the side of a ravine with no parachute. Or it's "Here, hold this anvil", or "Smoke a bit of this, it'll make you nutso", or "does this smell like chloroform?"
I'd call the authorities, but it occurs to me that anything that empties out Fresno is a public service.
I think we all need to take a minute and reflect on all that we owe Garbo.
:lulz: More than you will ever know.
(http://i1171.photobucket.com/albums/r550/MalachiCorbeau/Beetus.jpg)