1. Badbeast is the illegitimate lovechild of Ronald Reagan and Maggie Thatcher.
2. Badbeast only eats authentic English cooking, because he LIKES it.
3. Badbeast is responsible for American "beer".
4. Badbeast has John Major in his basement, and beats him daily.
5. Badbeast has no lower jaw. Just tentacles.
6. Badbeast sunk the HMS Sheffield, for a joke.
7. Badbeast invented the sweatervest.
8. Badbeast knows what's in the queen's purse, and approves.
9. Badbeast is not allowed to leave England, by international treaty.
10. Badbeast consumes 90% of all domestically-produced patchouli in the UK.
Add your facts about Badbeast below.
I'd also like to add that Badbeast spends all his time making up ridiculous accusations against people and MAKES NO SENSE.
BadBeast has consumed enough hallucinogens that South American tree frogs lick his back.
Quote from: Billy the Twid on January 31, 2012, 05:54:58 PM
BadBeast has consumed enough hallucinogens that South American tree frogs lick his back.
...and then spend months picking the fur off of their tongues.
BadBeast has travelled on time, and had gender reassignment surgery, and is actually his own mother AND father.
Wiltshire got its name after BadBeast had a night of feasting on baked beans, kippers, ale, and a gallon of HP Brown Sauce.
ETA: BadBeast is the Fifth AND Sixth Beatle.
BadBeast was the one who served John Bonham his last shot of vodka.
BadBeast once joked with Eric Clapton that playing Layla on acoustic and play nip out that cool lead riff bit would be pretty neat. But no one ever really knows for sure if BB is serious or just taking the piss, and Clapton took him seriously, when he was, in fact, just taking the piss.
BadBeast invented Tikka Masala.
BadBeast built George Osbourne in his basement.
BadBeast is the reason there's no Loch Ness Monster. He's also the reason there are no more wolves or boars. You don't want to know what he replaced them with.
BadBeast once shot a man in Reno. He did it for a noble purpose we may never understand.
BadBeast's son grew up to be Winston Churchill. So did his daughter.
BadBeast replaced all the potatoes in ireland with Whisky. Future generations have recorded this as the Irish Potato Famine.
There is absolutely no truth to the rumors that BadBeast is cornish.
Both Irish independence and keeping Northern Ireland in the UK were BadBeast's ideas. He wanted to see how it would play out. He's still observing.
It has been whispered that BadBeast is actually Lemmy's kid brother. We may only conjecture what has caused Lemmy to distance himself from his little brother.
Stonehenge is actually a prank that BadBeast threw together one night in order to troll Druids.
The Cerne Abbas Giant is actually a self-portrait by BadBeast, since he is known to take to the hills in the buff will a club and a stiffy.
He's the reason Queen Victoria was not amused.
Hadrian's Wall was built to keep him in.
ETA: Crop circles? Totally not BadBeast's doing. But he is an important factor in their formation.
Badbeast wrote "Yakkity Sax" on a dare.
Badbeast is the current incarnation of Krampus.
Once, in retaliation for a joke at his expense, Badbeast formed The Wiggles.
Badbeast is the REAL reason SOPA was written.
Badbeast doesn't breathe air, instead he recycles noxious fumes he emits, which instead produces even more noxious fumes as waste.
Badbeast runs a vast, multinational, nugget porn empire. In much of the underdeveloped world he is known, in various languages, as La Diablo Marrón.
Badbeast is his own evil twin.
Badbeast's skeleton is made of cartilage, and he can detect electrical impulses through specialized sensory organs under his goatee.
Badbeast was destined to sing the song that will end this world, but he forgot the words.
Badbeast can see the future, but only in one eye. This is why Badbeast has no depth perception.
Instead of a tail, BadBeast has a vestigial barrister. That sings John Denver songs. In Pig Latin.
BadBeast is the reason there's no law west of Pecos, Texas.
BadBeast is responsible for the Mystery Spot. (http://vhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mystery_Spot) He's been tricking tourists and defying physics since 1940.
BadBeast is also responsible for Death Valley.
BadBeast had everything to do with the Donner Party.
Awww, you guise! *sniff* I love you all dearly, but I feel I must with reluctance, denounce almost half of these allegations as being spurious, and utterly without foundation.
The Clapton thing is true though. And the English cooking.
BadBeast exported Piers Morgan to the USA.
Badbeast made up a nation called "Portugal" and made Spain cry.
BadBeast hasn't eaten a single vegetable since 1979, and the contents of his bowels are believed to be at least as dense as a neutron star.
Quote from: Cainad on February 01, 2012, 03:10:06 AM
BadBeast hasn't eaten a single vegetable since 1979,
I think you're forgetting Karen Anne Quinlan.
BadBeast is at fault for every terrible superhero movie of the last fifteen years.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 01, 2012, 03:11:35 AM
Quote from: Cainad on February 01, 2012, 03:10:06 AM
BadBeast hasn't eaten a single vegetable since 1979,
I think you're forgetting Karen Anne Quinlan.
Oh shit, you're right. Silly me. :lulz:
Badbeast wrote, filmed, directed, and acted in the Cremaster Cycle while siring twin sons on his own hermaphroditic clone.
Badbeast also plays the role of "Sookie" in True Blood. It's the only place he can drop the act and just be himself.
BadBeast once went drinking with Tommy Wiseau, who prior to that evening had been a promising PhD candidate. He told Wiseau that he "should totally get into film."
He's a Cultural Attache! Not an "Export".
Quote from: Cainad on February 01, 2012, 03:22:47 AM
BadBeast once went drinking with Tommy Wiseau, who prior to that evening had been a promising PhD candidate. He told Wiseau that he "should totally get into film."
And he took W.B. Yeats drinking in New York.
Which, come to think of it, was a downright mitzvah.
BadBeast once had a lucrative trade selling shrooms in Israel. Had a pretty steady client. Name was Ezekiel, I believe. He ended up writing a short book that ended up in a very popular anthology.
Zeke stole those hoobies!
BadBeast holds 6 patents for quantum mind field trepanation and is personally responsible for fluctuations in energy density that lead our search for what is otherwise known as dark matter.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 01, 2012, 03:25:19 AM
Quote from: Cainad on February 01, 2012, 03:22:47 AM
BadBeast once went drinking with Tommy Wiseau, who prior to that evening had been a promising PhD candidate. He told Wiseau that he "should totally get into film."
And he took W.B. Yeats drinking in New York.
Which, come to think of it, was a downright mitzvah.
Yeats was a two-pot screamer. Couldn't handle his Beer. That's why he never fitted in in Ireland. Or anywhere, really.
Quote from: Nigel on February 01, 2012, 03:18:59 AM
Badbeast wrote, filmed, directed, and acted in the Cremaster Cycle while siring twin sons on his own hermaphroditic clone.
Badbeast also plays the role of "Sookie" in True Blood. It's the only place he can drop the act and just be himself.
Sookie is my Evil Twin! :x :lulz:
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 01, 2012, 03:25:19 AM
Quote from: Cainad on February 01, 2012, 03:22:47 AM
BadBeast once went drinking with Tommy Wiseau, who prior to that evening had been a promising PhD candidate. He told Wiseau that he "should totally get into film."
And he took W.B. Yeats drinking in New York.
Which, come to think of it, was a downright mitzvah.
Funny enough, that wasn't even the incident which led to BadBeast being banned from the States.
The official reason is that he broke so many laws at once that he actually qualified for "criminal overburdening" of the Justice Department and was booted back home while the system recovered from the shock. Of course, the truth is nowhere near as sanitary.
BadBeast is Adam Smith's invisible hand. And he's giving us the finger.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on February 01, 2012, 04:31:43 AM
BadBeast is Adam Smith's invisible hand. And he's giving us the finger.
(http://i748.photobucket.com/albums/xx128/ChuckFukmuk/emotes/black-hand.gif)
BadBeast was, in fact, the man who ordered the Charge of the Light Brigade. He categorically did NOT mean those other guns. The light brigade followed his orders exactly as he wanted. Why would he give such foolish orders?
To show the Russians that Englishmen are fucking insane and it's in your best interest to stop this war now. If BadBeast were still the Queen of England, the US would never have become the dwindling superpower that it now is.
BadBeast is the gradient behind and before every point.