You know it's over, the first time you see a drop-dead hottie in his/her mid-20s...And instead of lust, you just feel an aesthetic sense of admiration for the person's looks, because you just aren't wired the same as you were. Your sense of physical attraction is now geared toward other middle aged people.
And that's as it should be, but it's the first real inkling that you are no longer young. This causes many middle-aged men to run screaming for the first blond 20-something they can find, and apparently also to buy ridiculous red Miatas. It also explains club creepers, and other absurd expressions of manchildism. And my hate. But we'll get to that.
So you sit down and take stock of yourself. You are no longer pretty. Bits move around. You have to CONSTANTLY struggle to avoid becoming obese. Joints ache. You don't dare get drunk, because the hangovers are so bad that the net experience is drastically negative. The party isn't over, but the game has drastically changed, the same way it changed when you discovered that you were old enough to have ice cream anytime you wanted it, but that you didn't want it all the time, the way a child does.
And then you take stock of the society around you. The people you used to be are wasting their precious youth playing videogames 24/7, instead of chasing the opposite sex and devouring immense quantities of intoxicants. They don't drag race anymore. They don't have any skills, or the urge to get them. They sit on the fucking couch. Here, we call them "Tucson Drones", and they are LEGION.
So you start to seethe. Here are the people who SHOULD be having fun, having adventures, etc, and they're just marking time, patiently sitting and waiting to get old and die. If it were fucking legal, I'd help them along a bit. And you start hating the useless little bastards, and looking for ways to PUNISH them for wasting the opportunity for the kind of fun that you CAN'T have, and that they WON'T have, because they're too fucking STUPID AND LAZY.
This leads to a kind of conditioning, where you see the things and people you USED to want, and it fills you with rage. You aren't mad at the nice looking young lady walking by, but you ARE mad. She's a trigger, not a target.
So when you see me look at you and start foaming at the mouth, it probably isn't you. No, the actual target of my loathing is most likely the fat fucking useless blob of shit that in another universe would be walking with you and holding your hand, instead of slowly turning into a giant tofu cube in front of WoW or Skyrim.
So just ignore the old man screaming and turning purple, and go about your business. It's just another day in Tucson.
Oh, and get the fuck off my lawn.
Or Kill Me.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 02, 2012, 04:27:08 PM
You know it's over, the first time you see a drop-dead hottie in his/her mid-20s...And instead of lust, you just feel an aesthetic sense of admiration for the person's looks, because you just aren't wired the same as you were. Your sense of physical attraction is now geared toward other middle aged people.
whew, I'm starting to feel that
was leaving the steakhouse after birthday dinner last night. There was a group of like 15 girls, barely 21, dressed to kill. Two of them ran up to me and asked me if I could take a picture of their little coterie. I couldn't shake how disorientingly
awkward it was -- that I wasn't even interested in their hot little asses. Just too fresh out of the egg.
I felt most disoriented when I read a study that the average kid age 17 or younger sends something like 3000 text messages per month. I can't even imagine what that's like. I'm staring at the culture gap right there. It used to be that people my age were computer whizzes, we get technology much better than the people we work for. I had always wondered what would make me shake my fist at the "kids these days". Turns out its cell phones. It's weird not being able to relate to it. You start to wish that they'd be different or something, that their youth would share a chord with yours.
How's that line go, Cain?
Kids these days have no values! :argh!:
I'm a screwed up 25 year old, and I approve this message.
Lately I have been acquainted with heartburn, wrinkles, and more than the occasional grey hair. I drink tea more often than coffee now, can't stand anybody who doesn't act at least twice my age, and I grin inwardly when little kids scream and cry in department stores because you fucking know nothing is wrong except the toy shaped hole in their bleeding hearts.
I dread 30 because I seem to be getting older, faster. It's like I'm falling down a spiral DNA staircase at 32ft/s2. As if this wasn't bad enough, I seem to be, perversely, enjoying it.
What the fuck.
Cram, that's the part that kills me. Instead of hanging out & doing shit, they reduce all of their interactions to text messages. Sort of like someone that has their ENTIRE social network on forums, Facebook, IRC chats, etc.
The Flobots made an interesting rap about age progression:
Quote
Look at me, look at me
hands in the air like it's good to be
ALIVE
and I'm a famous rapper
even when the paths're all crookedy
I can show you how to do-si-do
I can show you how to scratch a record
I can take apart the remote control
And I can almost put it back together
I can tie a knot in a cherry stem
I can tell you about Leif Ericson
I know all the words to "De Colores"
And "I'm Proud to be an American"
Me and my friend saw a platypus
Me and my friend made a comic book
And guess how long it took
I can do anything that I want cuz, look:
I can keep rhythm with no metronome
No metronome
No metronome
I can see your face on the telephone
On the telephone
On the telephone
Look at me
Look at me
Just called to say that it's good to be
ALIVE
In such a small world
All curled up with a book to read
I can make money open up a thrift store
I can make a living off a magazine
I can design an engine sixty four
Miles to a gallon of gasoline
I can make new antibiotics
I can make computers survive aquatic conditions
I know how to run a business
And I can make you wanna buy a product
Movers shakers and producers
Me and my friends understand the future
I see the strings that control the systems
I can do anything with no assistance
I can lead a nation with a microphone
With a microphone
With a microphone
I can split the atoms of a molecule
Of a molecule
Of a molecule
Look at me
Look at me
Driving and I won't stop
And it feels so good to be
Alive and on top
My reach is global
My tower secure
My cause is noble
My power is pure
I can hand out a million vaccinations
Or let'em all die in exasperation
Have'em all healed of their lacerations
Have'em all killed by assassination
I can make anybody go to prison
Just because I don't like'em and
I can do anything with no permission
I have it all under my command
I can guide a missile by satellite
By satellite
By satellite
and I can hit a target through a telescope
Through a telescope
Through a telescope
and I can end the planet in a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
(choruses stripped)
I'm at the bolded part, but I can see the italicized part from here. There's a reason the old hate the young, and it isn't jealousy. At least not for me.
Quote from: Jasper on February 02, 2012, 04:44:52 PM
I'm a screwed up 25 year old, and I approve this message.
Lately I have been acquainted with heartburn, wrinkles, and more than the occasional grey hair. I drink tea more often than coffee now, can't stand anybody who doesn't act at least twice my age, and I grin inwardly when little kids scream and cry in department stores because you fucking know nothing is wrong except the toy shaped hole in their bleeding hearts.
I dread 30 because I seem to be getting older, faster. It's like I'm falling down a spiral DNA staircase at 32ft/s2. As if this wasn't bad enough, I seem to be, perversely, enjoying it.
What the fuck.
It's not as much fun when you reach the bottom of the spiral.
Or, I should say, your idea of fun is different. As far as I can tell, life actually begins at 40.
In the meantime, I think I'll do some living.
Quote from: Jasper on February 02, 2012, 04:52:14 PM
In the meantime, I think I'll do some living.
That would be the general idea.
You only get one trip around the merry go round...And when it's over, there's no prize for having the highest level character in World of Warcraft.
You should try living in close proximity with them.
"You're young, rich, living in one of the most exciting cities in the world and have an unlimited curfew. And you're spending your free time watching Family Guy on DVD in the common room? At least I have a good reason for hanging around here all day."
Fortunately, at 26, I am still able to enjoy most of the benefits of youth which they are squandering, so I do not get angry, I just shake my head and think "idiots", while I go to blow a fortune drunkenly trolling Young Tories in the bars of Chelsea.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 02, 2012, 04:49:15 PM
Cram, that's the part that kills me. Instead of hanging out & doing shit, they reduce all of their interactions to text messages. Sort of like someone that has their ENTIRE social network on forums, Facebook, IRC chats, etc.
:eek: I'll just hide over here now....
Quote from: Cain on February 02, 2012, 04:58:34 PM
You should try living in close proximity with them.
"You're young, rich, living in one of the most exciting cities in the world and have an unlimited curfew. And you're spending your free time watching Family Guy on DVD in the common room? At least I have a good reason for hanging around here all day."
Fortunately, at 26, I am still able to enjoy most of the benefits of youth which they are squandering, so I do not get angry, I just shake my head and think "idiots", while I go to blow a fortune drunkenly trolling Young Tories in the bars of Chelsea.
If they'd been living with the explicit limitation that they must only ever watch funny DVDs and stay inside and only talk to people around the house, there'd be jailbreak and riot. Instead, the world is open to them so they limit themselves. I chalk it up the the basic cussedness of all human behavior.
Quote from: Sita on February 02, 2012, 05:01:03 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 02, 2012, 04:49:15 PM
Cram, that's the part that kills me. Instead of hanging out & doing shit, they reduce all of their interactions to text messages. Sort of like someone that has their ENTIRE social network on forums, Facebook, IRC chats, etc.
:eek: I'll just hide over here now....
Go outside.
Quote from: Cain on February 02, 2012, 04:58:34 PM
You should try living in close proximity with them.
"You're young, rich, living in one of the most exciting cities in the world and have an unlimited curfew. And you're spending your free time watching Family Guy on DVD in the common room? At least I have a good reason for hanging around here all day."
Fortunately, at 26, I am still able to enjoy most of the benefits of youth which they are squandering, so I do not get angry, I just shake my head and think "idiots", while I go to blow a fortune drunkenly trolling Young Tories in the bars of Chelsea.
Because they can have it, they don't want it.
They break curfew, right?
Quite likely, yes. I know I'm finding the sheer amount of choice somewhat difficult to handle myself. But I have been sensible and bought guide books and asked locals for advice. For instance, I think on my weekend off, not this weekend but the next one, I am going to visit the restuarant where you eat in complete darkness. Why? Why the fuck not. Then I might go get sozzled in Henry VIII's wine cellar, or else go visit the Andaz Hotel Masonic Temple.
Ultimately, I think it comes down to a lack of imagination, coupled with status quo blindness. "Things will be like this for forever, so I don't need to hurry" along with "er, I didn't really think about that, I guess".
This is because young people are not immune to Sturgeon's Law. 90% of them are fundamentally not that bright, or only bright in specific, constrained ways. Unless something is handed to them on a platter, with all the information there, the chances of getting them to actually do anything is very slim.
For example: last Sunday was the Chinese New Year celebrations in London. Yes, a week after the actual Chinese New Year, but whatever. London has the world's largest Chinatown outside of China itself, and they always put on a good show. So I researched the programme of events, drew up maps and directions on how to get to China town and printed these all out in easy to understand handouts, which I then placed next to the registers.
I think about four people other than myself decided to go. Which is more than would have gone if I had just put up a sign saying "New Year trip to Chinatown". Out of 60 odd students, that seems pretty bad, I know, but when you compare it to our Halloween "party", it was an excellent turn-out.
Quote from: Cain on February 02, 2012, 05:14:11 PM
Quite likely, yes. I know I'm finding the sheer amount of choice somewhat difficult to handle myself. But I have been sensible and bought guide books and asked locals for advice. For instance, I think on my weekend off, not this weekend but the next one, I am going to visit the restuarant where you eat in complete darkness. Why? Why the fuck not. Then I might go get sozzled in Henry VIII's wine cellar, or else go visit the Andaz Hotel Masonic Temple.
Just so long as you do something.
Quote from: Cain on February 02, 2012, 05:28:23 PM
Ultimately, I think it comes down to a lack of imagination, coupled with status quo blindness. "Things will be like this for forever, so I don't need to hurry" along with "er, I didn't really think about that, I guess".
This is because young people are not immune to Sturgeon's Law. 90% of them are fundamentally not that bright, or only bright in specific, constrained ways. Unless something is handed to them on a platter, with all the information there, the chances of getting them to actually do anything is very slim.
For example: last Sunday was the Chinese New Year celebrations in London. Yes, a week after the actual Chinese New Year, but whatever. London has the world's largest Chinatown outside of China itself, and they always put on a good show. So I researched the programme of events, drew up maps and directions on how to get to China town and printed these all out in easy to understand handouts, which I then placed next to the registers.
I think about four people other than myself decided to go. Which is more than would have gone if I had just put up a sign saying "New Year trip to Chinatown". Out of 60 odd students, that seems pretty bad, I know, but when you compare it to our Halloween "party", it was an excellent turn-out.
Doin' it right.
Nail, meet head.
It's not that I don't understand people who refuse to go out and grab life by the balls, it's that I understand them perfectly and they fill me with a hateful contempt so visceral that I literally have to restrain myself from choking the fucking life out of them so they stop wasting resources that could be going to people who fucking deserve to be alive.
Quote from: Jasper on February 02, 2012, 04:44:52 PM
I dread 30 because I seem to be getting older, faster. It's like I'm falling down a spiral DNA staircase at 32ft/s2. As if this wasn't bad enough, I seem to be, perversely, enjoying it.
Don't quite get the ZOMG 30! panic that a lot of people my age seem to be having, at least not specifically. Maybe it's because all I hear is "Oh no, 30!" and I feel like, "so?" because there's usually no reason given for the panic. I mean, yea, seems like I went from 21 to almost 27 pretty fast, but physically not much has changed (still get carded for cigarettes most of the time) and I don't
feel different. So, the number doesn't faze me that much, though the speeding up of time does a bit, if that makes any sense. Although I've been coming to the realization/acceptance that I don't need to define my life by a career (I'm just happy working as a paralegal, but people don't understand why I don't want to "do more" and become a lawyer), but, if that's the case, what DO I want to do? Find the best balance I can of fun and responsibilty, just not sure how I want to do it I suppose. And I do get the weird, confused feeling when I see a lot of others my age (and younger!) getting married, having kids, buying houses, and that nagging feeling that I'm SUPPOSED to be doing some of these things, but that's not right either. (You mean you don't want kids EVER?!?). Right now my boyfriend and I are happy with each other, our apartment, our jobs (happiness may vary) and our pets. There's no desire to follow what seems to be the "regularly scheduled program", but there is that kind of "what's next", or maybe more "what else" phase going on how we plan to spend our future instead.
That's what baffles me a lot. Yes, the wasted life in front of the TV or various electronics meant to keep us busy, but this weird sense of urgency to rush into "growing up" and "settling down", having children and getting married. NOT that there's anything inherently wrong with those things either, but I see a lot of people rushing to "grow up" only to have reality come crashing down, resulting in misery in varying degrees of awfulness.
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on February 02, 2012, 05:34:55 PM
Nail, meet head.
It's not that I don't understand people who refuse to go out and grab life by the balls, it's that I understand them perfectly and they fill me with a hateful contempt so visceral that I literally have to restrain myself from choking the fucking life out of them so they stop wasting resources that could be going to people who fucking deserve to be alive.
Part of being a Holy Man™ is that you have to spend too much time "at the office".
Quote from: trippinprincezz13 on February 02, 2012, 05:43:42 PM
Quote from: Jasper on February 02, 2012, 04:44:52 PM
I dread 30 because I seem to be getting older, faster. It's like I'm falling down a spiral DNA staircase at 32ft/s2. As if this wasn't bad enough, I seem to be, perversely, enjoying it.
Don't quite get the ZOMG 30! panic that a lot of people my age seem to be having, at least not specifically. Maybe it's because all I hear is "Oh no, 30!" and I feel like, "so?" because there's usually no reason given for the panic. I mean, yea, seems like I went from 21 to almost 27 pretty fast, but physically not much has changed (still get carded for cigarettes most of the time) and I don't feel different. So, the number doesn't faze me that much, though the speeding up of time does a bit, if that makes any sense. Although I've been coming to the realization/acceptance that I don't need to define my life by a career (I'm just happy working as a paralegal, but people don't understand why I don't want to "do more" and become a lawyer), but, if that's the case, what DO I want to do? Find the best balance I can of fun and responsibilty, just not sure how I want to do it I suppose. And I do get the weird, confused feeling when I see a lot of others my age (and younger!) getting married, having kids, buying houses, and that nagging feeling that I'm SUPPOSED to be doing some of these things, but that's not right either. (You mean you don't want kids EVER?!?). Right now my boyfriend and I are happy with each other, our apartment, our jobs (happiness may vary) and our pets. There's no desire to follow what seems to be the "regularly scheduled program", but there is that kind of "what's next", or maybe more "what else" phase going on how we plan to spend our future instead.
That's what baffles me a lot. Yes, the wasted life in front of the TV or various electronics meant to keep us busy, but this weird sense of urgency to rush into "growing up" and "settling down", having children and getting married. NOT that there's anything inherently wrong with those things either, but I see a lot of people rushing to "grow up" only to have reality come crashing down, resulting in misery in varying degrees of awfulness.
Marriage and children are one of those things that should never be rushed into or done because you're supposed to. Thinking like that gets people into stupid messes, very messy messes.
I almost reflexively shake my head at anyone who gets married unless there's a good reason for it, like you've been together for 7 years and haven't killed each other and still want to have sex. That is, people under 30. I see no particular reason for anyone to get married in their 20s, and plenty of reasons not to.
And kids? People seem to have kids without thinking about the consequences very carefully. I don't fault anyone who has a kid by accident, or it just happened, or things fell apart last minute. That shit happens. But people who jump into it and will think it will be this great and awesome thing and oh we'll take care of any problems as they come up don't really seem to understand what precisely could go wrong. And then there's the ones like my sister who bred with her scummy ex because they both were single parents and wouldn't it be nice if they had a kid together and never mind that he treats her like shit and uses racial slurs to refer to my half-Indian niece.
Yep. Hey, people get into shitty relationships too, I suppose, but intentionally bringing a kid into that sort of mess is mind-boggling.
Quote from: Billy the Twid on February 02, 2012, 05:54:51 PM
Marriage and children are one of those things that should never be rushed into or done because you're supposed to. Thinking like that gets people into stupid messes, very messy messes.
Bullshit. I got married the first time at 23, and I am now an expert on marriage, having done it so many times, and look how THAT worked out.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 02, 2012, 05:56:09 PM
Quote from: Billy the Twid on February 02, 2012, 05:54:51 PM
Marriage and children are one of those things that should never be rushed into or done because you're supposed to. Thinking like that gets people into stupid messes, very messy messes.
Bullshit. I got married the first time at 23, and I am now an expert on marriage, having done it so many times, and look how THAT worked out.
:lol:
How many times have you been married? I only thought it was twice.
Quote from: Billy the Twid on February 02, 2012, 05:57:37 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 02, 2012, 05:56:09 PM
Quote from: Billy the Twid on February 02, 2012, 05:54:51 PM
Marriage and children are one of those things that should never be rushed into or done because you're supposed to. Thinking like that gets people into stupid messes, very messy messes.
Bullshit. I got married the first time at 23, and I am now an expert on marriage, having done it so many times, and look how THAT worked out.
:lol:
How many times have you been married? I only thought it was twice.
4 times.
Twice to Maria, and two other times, the last of which seems to have "taken".
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 02, 2012, 05:59:19 PM
Quote from: Billy the Twid on February 02, 2012, 05:57:37 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 02, 2012, 05:56:09 PM
Quote from: Billy the Twid on February 02, 2012, 05:54:51 PM
Marriage and children are one of those things that should never be rushed into or done because you're supposed to. Thinking like that gets people into stupid messes, very messy messes.
Bullshit. I got married the first time at 23, and I am now an expert on marriage, having done it so many times, and look how THAT worked out.
:lol:
How many times have you been married? I only thought it was twice.
4 times.
Twice to Maria, and two other times, the last of which seems to have "taken".
Well, when I end up tying the knot, I know who to ask what I'm doing wrong. :lol:
All I'm going to say is that out of all the people I know of my age, all those that have kids live within 10 miles of the shitty town I used to reside in. And have shitty, sub-standard jobs and generally do not strike me as happy people.
The only exceptions to that are those who are married.
Quote from: Billy the Twid on February 02, 2012, 06:01:22 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 02, 2012, 05:59:19 PM
Quote from: Billy the Twid on February 02, 2012, 05:57:37 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 02, 2012, 05:56:09 PM
Quote from: Billy the Twid on February 02, 2012, 05:54:51 PM
Marriage and children are one of those things that should never be rushed into or done because you're supposed to. Thinking like that gets people into stupid messes, very messy messes.
Bullshit. I got married the first time at 23, and I am now an expert on marriage, having done it so many times, and look how THAT worked out.
:lol:
How many times have you been married? I only thought it was twice.
4 times.
Twice to Maria, and two other times, the last of which seems to have "taken".
Well, when I end up tying the knot, I know who to ask what I'm doing wrong. :lol:
I did everything RIGHT. I had a hell of a time, and none of my ex's hate me, so, you know...
TGRR,
Monogamous, but apparently not monogamous for life, like some snakes are.
Quote from: Cain on February 02, 2012, 06:05:04 PM
All I'm going to say is that out of all the people I know of my age, all those that have kids live within 10 miles of the shitty town I used to reside in. And have shitty, sub-standard jobs and generally do not strike me as happy people.
The only exceptions to that are those who are married.
I have found that most people who have kids and are happy PLANNED to have those kids. By which I mean they intentionally set out to have them.
Yes, that definitely seems to be the case with those couples. The rest...yeah. Ironically, its those ones (not the married ones) who spam their Facebook feeds with millions of pictures of their children daily, telling us about how amazing and wonderful they are.
I think they doth protest too much.
Quote from: Cain on February 02, 2012, 06:10:24 PM
Yes, that definitely seems to be the case with those couples. The rest...yeah. Ironically, its those ones (not the married ones) who spam their Facebook feeds with millions of pictures of their children daily, telling us about how amazing and wonderful they are.
I think they doth protest too much.
That drives me nuts. Just start up a profile for your kid then, and hand it over to them in 13 years, if Facebook is still around then.
Quote from: Billy the Twid on February 02, 2012, 05:54:51 PM
Quote from: trippinprincezz13 on February 02, 2012, 05:43:42 PM
Quote from: Jasper on February 02, 2012, 04:44:52 PM
I dread 30 because I seem to be getting older, faster. It's like I'm falling down a spiral DNA staircase at 32ft/s2. As if this wasn't bad enough, I seem to be, perversely, enjoying it.
Don't quite get the ZOMG 30! panic that a lot of people my age seem to be having, at least not specifically. Maybe it's because all I hear is "Oh no, 30!" and I feel like, "so?" because there's usually no reason given for the panic. I mean, yea, seems like I went from 21 to almost 27 pretty fast, but physically not much has changed (still get carded for cigarettes most of the time) and I don't feel different. So, the number doesn't faze me that much, though the speeding up of time does a bit, if that makes any sense. Although I've been coming to the realization/acceptance that I don't need to define my life by a career (I'm just happy working as a paralegal, but people don't understand why I don't want to "do more" and become a lawyer), but, if that's the case, what DO I want to do? Find the best balance I can of fun and responsibilty, just not sure how I want to do it I suppose. And I do get the weird, confused feeling when I see a lot of others my age (and younger!) getting married, having kids, buying houses, and that nagging feeling that I'm SUPPOSED to be doing some of these things, but that's not right either. (You mean you don't want kids EVER?!?). Right now my boyfriend and I are happy with each other, our apartment, our jobs (happiness may vary) and our pets. There's no desire to follow what seems to be the "regularly scheduled program", but there is that kind of "what's next", or maybe more "what else" phase going on how we plan to spend our future instead.
That's what baffles me a lot. Yes, the wasted life in front of the TV or various electronics meant to keep us busy, but this weird sense of urgency to rush into "growing up" and "settling down", having children and getting married. NOT that there's anything inherently wrong with those things either, but I see a lot of people rushing to "grow up" only to have reality come crashing down, resulting in misery in varying degrees of awfulness.
I almost reflexively shake my head at anyone who gets married unless there's a good reason for it, like you've been together for 7 years and haven't killed each other and still want to have sex. That is, people under 30. I see no particular reason for anyone to get married in their 20s, and plenty of reasons not to.
Yea, I mean, boyfriend and I are creeping up on that 7 year mark and almost as long living together without wanting to kill each other (yea, we rushed into that due to circumstances, but it's magically worked) and yea we've dabbled in marriage talk but then we've also figured we've been together this long and things are going good, so no reason to muck it up with extra complications. A year or two ago my office handled a divorce of a few kids within months of my age after only a year. That was...odd, and sad.
Quote
And kids? People seem to have kids without thinking about the consequences very carefully. I don't fault anyone who has a kid by accident, or it just happened, or things fell apart last minute. That shit happens. But people who jump into it and will think it will be this great and awesome thing and oh we'll take care of any problems as they come up don't really seem to understand what precisely could go wrong. And then there's the ones like my sister who bred with her scummy ex because they both were single parents and wouldn't it be nice if they had a kid together and never mind that he treats her like shit and uses racial slurs to refer to my half-Indian niece.
Yep. Hey, people get into shitty relationships too, I suppose, but intentionally bringing a kid into that sort of mess is mind-boggling.
I agree, shit happens that you don't expect and I can't fault anyone for that. But a friend of ours that we met when she was 16 (a year younger than my little sister ffs) and all she could talk about was wanting kids. Tried explaining why that was a bad idea (for her age, not against kids in general) but it fell on mostly deaf ears. At 19 had an "accident" with someone she'd been seeing for about a week. That predictably fell apart soon after. Dad kicked her out (which shocked her, because she thought having a grandchild would make him happy....but there were a lot of issues at home. ). She was all over the place for a while and her circumstances were tough but she seemed to be doing well as a mother at least. Then she almost lost the kid under shady circumstances, but then again things seemed to be getting better. She moved away, her dad was helping her out again and things for all appearances, seemed good. And, found out not that long ago, found out she hasn't had him for months, is facing abuse/neglect charges and is pregnant with a second child, who she may likely lose as well. While it is horribly sad, it's sadly not very surprising (well, I'd dispute the abuse part), and even puts a few other things into place. This is maybe an extreme case, but a good example of rushing into it for the worst reasons - to fill any numer of holes in her life and when that didn't happen things got that much worse
That's messed up. Oof.
My roommate had his first divorce when he was 23. It was one of those things where his girlfriend didn't have her head screwed on right and she kept leaving him for other guys, and his head wasn't screwed on right and kept taking her back. Then they got the bright idea that if they got married, they wouldn't break up again.
She comes over from time to time to see the kid, but apparently Pickles banned her boyfriend from coming over because he does coke.
This makes it a little awkward for me because the boyfriend in question is my friend's bassist. That twist was a bit of a surprise.
Quote from: Billy the Twid on February 02, 2012, 06:01:22 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 02, 2012, 05:59:19 PM
Quote from: Billy the Twid on February 02, 2012, 05:57:37 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 02, 2012, 05:56:09 PM
Quote from: Billy the Twid on February 02, 2012, 05:54:51 PM
Marriage and children are one of those things that should never be rushed into or done because you're supposed to. Thinking like that gets people into stupid messes, very messy messes.
Bullshit. I got married the first time at 23, and I am now an expert on marriage, having done it so many times, and look how THAT worked out.
:lol:
How many times have you been married? I only thought it was twice.
4 times.
Twice to Maria, and two other times, the last of which seems to have "taken".
Well, when I end up tying the knot, I know who to ask what I'm doing wrong. :lol:
Ask your wife. At least monthly. And tell HER what SHE is doing wrong.
Adjust as necessary.
What Luna said.
Also, unless expressly told otherwise, non-sexual physical contact and occasional romantic gestures go a long way to keep things running smoothly.
Quote from: Cain on February 02, 2012, 05:28:23 PM
Ultimately, I think it comes down to a lack of imagination, coupled with status quo blindness. "Things will be like this for forever, so I don't need to hurry" along with "er, I didn't really think about that, I guess".
This is because young people are not immune to Sturgeon's Law. 90% of them are fundamentally not that bright, or only bright in specific, constrained ways. Unless something is handed to them on a platter, with all the information there, the chances of getting them to actually do anything is very slim.
For example: last Sunday was the Chinese New Year celebrations in London. Yes, a week after the actual Chinese New Year, but whatever. London has the world's largest Chinatown outside of China itself, and they always put on a good show. So I researched the programme of events, drew up maps and directions on how to get to China town and printed these all out in easy to understand handouts, which I then placed next to the registers.
I think about four people other than myself decided to go. Which is more than would have gone if I had just put up a sign saying "New Year trip to Chinatown". Out of 60 odd students, that seems pretty bad, I know, but when you compare it to our Halloween "party", it was an excellent turn-out.
I cannot imagine turning that down. There's something damn wrong with those kids.
I am now horribly ashamed.
It's like I don't even know what to do with myself anymore. I'm not sure if I ever did.
I go to class, then I find ways to whittle away my time. All but one of my friends has left the school by now, so it's us sad bastards trying to find something to occupy ourselves in Suffolk County.
I don't really attend parties with anyone my age anymore. The very sickness Roger describes has infected them all. There's nothing to do except consume intoxicants until you forget how boring your evening was. I've always found the college parties I've attended to be extremely awkward affairs, rarely worth going.
We're not even the D&D geeks in the basement anymore. We haven't had a game in over 6 months, with many false starts.
And it's not like "well, then stop" is an applicable strategy here. I have stopped, and so has most of the world around me. At this point in my life I have absolutely nothing that has not been provided for me by my parents. There's no where to go except where I've been going.
There's a few bright moments to be had here and there. The Discordian meetups and hangouts, few and far between as they are, represent the highlights of my last 4 years. Everyone there is older than me, even if only by a spare few years, and it always feels like a relief to be around people who aren't subsumed in this... whatever the fuck this quagmire is.
Too tired to say more than that this series made my day.
I think a lot of these Drones are caught between the desire to be an independent adult and the comfort of dependency. Rather than struggle with the grim job market or the prospect of a lifetime of paying off college they stagnate in a late adolescent cocoon of safety and familiarity. They keep their future out of awareness in a maladaptive attempt to assuage the anxieties surrounding the question of "What do you want to do with your life?" Which really is the question, "What are your values and which are most important to you?" in disguise.
What results from this avoidance is a disconnection from one's emotions and this perpetual need to distract oneself from these highly stressful thoughts. The longer Drones put off grappling with these developmental hurdles the more the person-shaped hole in their soul defaults to being filled with consumerist twaddle. After a few decades they'll be the trainwreck pulling up to the club in their Miata and 19-year-old girlfriend, still running away from the challenges life throws at them.
I feel compassion for them though, because employment prospects haven't been so bad in a long time. Nor have people been flooded with such an overwhelming amount of information about the opportunities and threats to them in life. It might seem preferable to have more choices, but after a certain point it only makes decisions even more difficult to arrive at. Add on top of this the likelihood that they were put on some cocktail of pharmaceutical drugs as children and forced through a school system that teaches obedience—you get some really stunted people. I'm not saying these things are an excuse but I don't think it's entirely these poor schmuck's fault either.
Quote from: Cainad on February 03, 2012, 12:59:32 AM
It's like I don't even know what to do with myself anymore. I'm not sure if I ever did.
I go to class, then I find ways to whittle away my time. All but one of my friends has left the school by now, so it's us sad bastards trying to find something to occupy ourselves in Suffolk County.
I don't really attend parties with anyone my age anymore. The very sickness Roger describes has infected them all. There's nothing to do except consume intoxicants until you forget how boring your evening was. I've always found the college parties I've attended to be extremely awkward affairs, rarely worth going.
We're not even the D&D geeks in the basement anymore. We haven't had a game in over 6 months, with many false starts.
And it's not like "well, then stop" is an applicable strategy here. I have stopped, and so has most of the world around me. At this point in my life I have absolutely nothing that has not been provided for me by my parents. There's no where to go except where I've been going.
There's a few bright moments to be had here and there. The Discordian meetups and hangouts, few and far between as they are, represent the highlights of my last 4 years. Everyone there is older than me, even if only by a spare few years, and it always feels like a relief to be around people who aren't subsumed in this... whatever the fuck this quagmire is.
Cainad, it was a pleasure to spend a couple of days with you.
It doesn't get better. Unless maybe you do something about it. I'm still trying to figure that out.
But, the meat up with you guys in 2011 was the most alive I've felt in the past... I'd say 8 years. Even if I did get a little too... influenced by non-alcoholic chemicals that one night.... And you know, that was the highlight of 2010 too, even though it was 45 min of my time in Boston Common. I see you guys online all the time. And that in this case it somehow makes it ok. Not awkward. I spent a good hour riding shotgun in Eve's car back up to Boston. Felt like we'd been friends forever. I went on a liqour run with EOC. It was all good. I almost pantsed Richter and he almost killed me. It was all good. And hell, Trip and Kirchtorteschwarzesomething.
....
2011 was a good year, no?
Quote from: Net"What do you want to do with your life?" Which really is the question, "What are your values and which are most important to you?" in disguise.
Damn. Been thinking so much about the former without attaching it to the latter. Cue introspection.
We really had the most awesome house there, too. The place was fucking perfect. (It had a porch and everything!)
That said, I really relate to this thread, just like some others. Even though I'm 31 so I dunno if that counts as young anymore but it seems I'm destined to live life at half speed anyway so I guess it does. In fact it's pretty fucking much been the main thing on my mind in the past weeks. I'd write about it but I'm fairly sure a bunch of you would go shut up you privileged twat that's 1st world problems. Cause it seems I made it, been fighting for it the past 3-5 years, probably the hardest thing I ever did, but now I get money from the government, and I found a great volunteer job teaching kids computer stuff for about 8-12h per week. And Tuesday I heard that for now, they're okay with that. Which is good because in addition to keeping my household tidy I don't have energy for much else. And for the first time in my life I actually truly know this is the case because work at the Young Researchers is so much fun, that at the end of the week I know that repulsive feeling can't be laziness like I told myself the past decade, it's my head telling me "ok enough for now, please take a break?" and when I don't listen to that because for instance winter holiday week the centre was open every day and I spent 4x6h with the kids, I literally had to put everything else aside to go for it, spent half a week resting after and thought to myself "yeah let's not make a habit of that" (worth it though). It's hard writing this down cause my best way of coping is pretending it's all not so bad and I'm really just a bit lazy sometimes. The reality is that it's probably slightly worse than what I just described.
But anyway, I got all that and I sort of made it, somehow. It's just me dealing with myself now, but survival has been taken care of. Additionally, even though it's kind of lonely, I no longer am with Kirschtorte, which has the benefit of not sucking the last of my energy into stupid fights over nothing every other day. And with finally my knee being healed enough that I can bike again, there I am, and this is one of those "Okay then, what now?" moments, you know?
Of course there's always things coming at you, it's just that I finally managed to turn down the firehose a bit to a level I can handle. You don't get bored, Never Bored, right? So much stuff to do, [even watching Family Guy DVDs], more than there's time in a lifetime. And though I wish it wasn't so, Roger's right when he says you get just one go. So this is one of those rare quiet points where maybe I can give me some direction, before the next wave comes crashing and sweeps me along again.
In some sense I already did this. I always had this feeling I didn't really want a "pure IT" job, because really while writing code might be the absolute highest form of art (ehehehe), that's why you shouldn't turn a hobby into a job. And then due to all the struggles outlined above, I ended up with the Young Researchers and (re-)discovered that 1) teaching is really fun and 2) I'm really good with kids.
But what now? I want to write a better HTML-for-kids manual, and mostly figure out some method to get them to actually write code--I could do it when I was 10 and so can some of them, but I don't know how to approach it yet, or even what programming language. And then there's some cool shit I want to implement for the PD forum. Some experiments in brewing booze, but alcohol's not good for me so I'm leaving that for a while. Oh and I gotta redecorate my house cause Torte took ~half the furniture with her. And fifty other things that pop into my mind, I will not bother you with. Seems I am really busy?
Still, something is itching, to go outside and put more weirdness on the streets. I'm just not sure how or what yet. It would be really nice if I had someone to do it with, dare eachother a bit more.
Sorry for the discollected braindump, but I really really had to get that out, thanks for listening.
aww sorry to hear about you breaking up with your gf, dude.. :sad:
Sorry to hear things got rocky on you, Trip. You deserve to be happy. If you're okay getting the rent covered, don't sweat. And I'm glad you're doing something you enjoy.
Anytime you can swing it and need the break, come on back, we'll see how many spags we can get in one place and have another party.
Sorry to hear about that, Trip.
And to hell with the East Coast. Come to Tucson. We know all about this sort of thing.
It's what made us the people we are today.
For a given value of "people".
Breakup was actually half a year or so ago, some weeks after we got back from the US. I didn't really mention it because we were living together and I knew it would be some time before she found a new place and it was kind of weird, over, but also some good times were still had. She found a new place the first week after I broke my knee, while I was on the couch at my parents (she hadn't been home much because awkwardness was rising a bit). So when I returned home after 3 weeks it was kind of strange to return to a half-empty house. On the other hand I'm also kind of glad to not have been around while she was packing (except one afternoon to check which smaller items where whose--fortunately we always had kept the larger things separate). We broke up on good terms, anyhow.
(And don't just be sad for me, apparently WaffleIron also recently broke up?)
And on visiting the US, it will be some time before I can do that again. It's going to have to be the West Coast of course, because it's their turn :) Anyway, I'm planning on meeting you Roger if you're still going to the UK this Fall, a UK Day of Discord is long overdue as well.
Quote from: Triple Zero on February 03, 2012, 03:00:36 PM
Breakup was actually half a year or so ago, some weeks after we got back from the US. I didn't really mention it because we were living together and I knew it would be some time before she found a new place and it was kind of weird, over, but also some good times were still had. She found a new place the first week after I broke my knee, while I was on the couch at my parents (she hadn't been home much because awkwardness was rising a bit). So when I returned home after 3 weeks it was kind of strange to return to a half-empty house. On the other hand I'm also kind of glad to not have been around while she was packing (except one afternoon to check which smaller items where whose--fortunately we always had kept the larger things separate). We broke up on good terms, anyhow.
(And don't just be sad for me, apparently WaffleIron also recently broke up?)
And on visiting the US, it will be some time before I can do that again. It's going to have to be the West Coast of course, because it's their turn :) Anyway, I'm planning on meeting you Roger if you're still going to the UK this Fall, a UK Day of Discord is long overdue as well.
I'm going to do my very best to get to the UK. There's a couple of snags, but I think we can work past them.
I was young once... I lived hard, married young, and had kids just about in time to keep me from going self-destructo. Anybody wants to tell me I did it wrong and I'll punch them in the face with my eyes.
Quote from: Cainad on February 03, 2012, 12:59:32 AM
It's like I don't even know what to do with myself anymore. I'm not sure if I ever did.
I go to class, then I find ways to whittle away my time. All but one of my friends has left the school by now, so it's us sad bastards trying to find something to occupy ourselves in Suffolk County.
that bums me out. You guys make such a good little group of friends. I'm really glad we all have Madrigal to hang out together and put the world on hold. Escapism FTW!
Quote from: Billy the Twid on February 03, 2012, 06:27:10 AM
Cainad, it was a pleasure to spend a couple of days with you....
But, the meat up with you guys in 2011 was the most alive I've felt in the past... I'd say 8 years. Even if I did get a little too... influenced by non-alcoholic chemicals that one night.... And you know, that was the highlight of 2010 too, even though it was 45 min of my time in Boston Common. I see you guys online all the time. And that in this case it somehow makes it ok. Not awkward. I spent a good hour riding shotgun in Eve's car back up to Boston. Felt like we'd been friends forever. I went on a liqour run with EOC. It was all good. I almost pantsed Richter and he almost killed me. It was all good. And hell, Trip and Kirchtorteschwarzesomething.
....
2011 was a good year, no?
:mittens:
I'm really glad to have thrown that weekend. It was also the best weekend of the year for me. Every single one of you spags was fucking awesome to hang out with and I can't wait to do it all again.
So... WHEN?
Quote from: Luna on February 03, 2012, 06:02:59 PM
So... WHEN?
We're having trouble establishing precisely when TGG's last day of school is. Nobody in the school district seems to know.
Quote from: Cramulus on February 03, 2012, 05:33:52 PM
Quote from: Cainad on February 03, 2012, 12:59:32 AM
It's like I don't even know what to do with myself anymore. I'm not sure if I ever did.
I go to class, then I find ways to whittle away my time. All but one of my friends has left the school by now, so it's us sad bastards trying to find something to occupy ourselves in Suffolk County.
that bums me out. You guys make such a good little group of friends. I'm really glad we all have Madrigal to hang out together and put the world on hold. Escapism FTW!
Yeah, the LARPs are probably the biggest thing we have going right now. Mark is the only one still at Stony Brook, and he's graduating in May, whereas I've got another year to stick out here.
Also, incoming PM, so as not to derail thread with nerdism.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 03, 2012, 06:08:30 PM
Quote from: Luna on February 03, 2012, 06:02:59 PM
So... WHEN?
We're having trouble establishing precisely when TGG's last day of school is. Nobody in the school district seems to know.
Ugh. I was giving Cram a hard time, I know you'll get dates ASAP.
Hey, Cram, and other NE spags, make an appearance when Roger comes to visit with the clan. Fun will be had. Or kill me.
Quote from: Luna on February 03, 2012, 06:18:45 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 03, 2012, 06:08:30 PM
Quote from: Luna on February 03, 2012, 06:02:59 PM
So... WHEN?
We're having trouble establishing precisely when TGG's last day of school is. Nobody in the school district seems to know.
Ugh. I was giving Cram a hard time, I know you'll get dates ASAP.
Hey, Cram, and other NE spags, make an appearance when Roger comes to visit with the clan. Fun will be had. Or kill me.
So far, the schedule looks like this:
Tuesday: Arrive. Get dinner.
Wednesday: Spag about in Providence. Get Luna and Richter (and whomever else is around) drunk, and let TGG rant at them (A treat not to be missed).
Thursday: Recovery and spag around a bit more. Hit some shops. Enabler wants to find a harpoon.
Friday: Boston, try to hook up with Villager & Twid & LMNO.
Saturday: Boston, trying for a massive meet up.
Sunday: Clamshack, let TGG poison herself by putting her foot in the Atlantic.
Monday: Fly out.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 03, 2012, 06:25:59 PM
Quote from: Luna on February 03, 2012, 06:18:45 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 03, 2012, 06:08:30 PM
Quote from: Luna on February 03, 2012, 06:02:59 PM
So... WHEN?
We're having trouble establishing precisely when TGG's last day of school is. Nobody in the school district seems to know.
Ugh. I was giving Cram a hard time, I know you'll get dates ASAP.
Hey, Cram, and other NE spags, make an appearance when Roger comes to visit with the clan. Fun will be had. Or kill me.
So far, the schedule looks like this:
Tuesday: Arrive. Get dinner.
Wednesday: Spag about in Providence. Get Luna and Richter (and whomever else is around) drunk, and let TGG rant at them (A treat not to be missed).
Thursday: Recovery and spag around a bit more. Hit some shops. Enabler wants to find a harpoon.
Friday: Boston, try to hook up with Villager & Twid & LMNO.
Saturday: Boston, trying for a massive meet up.
Sunday: Clamshack, let TGG poison herself by putting her foot in the Atlantic.
Monday: Fly out.
Strange, you think they'd know.
It will work out.
Leln doesn't have to get drunk if she doesn't want to.
She scares the turds out of me.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 03, 2012, 06:08:30 PM
Quote from: Luna on February 03, 2012, 06:02:59 PM
So... WHEN?
We're having trouble establishing precisely when TGG's last day of school is. Nobody in the school district seems to know.
That's organization for you!
Quote from: Nigel on February 03, 2012, 10:04:05 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 03, 2012, 06:08:30 PM
Quote from: Luna on February 03, 2012, 06:02:59 PM
So... WHEN?
We're having trouble establishing precisely when TGG's last day of school is. Nobody in the school district seems to know.
That's organization for you!
Or time is even looser than I thought.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 03, 2012, 06:35:27 PM
Leln doesn't have to get drunk if she doesn't want to.
She scares the turds out of me.
Leln can drink as much, or as little, as she wants. All I ask is that nobody puke on the rugs.
Quote from: Luna on February 04, 2012, 12:01:04 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 03, 2012, 06:35:27 PM
Leln doesn't have to get drunk if she doesn't want to.
She scares the turds out of me.
Leln can drink as much, or as little, as she wants. All I ask is that nobody puke on the rugs.
Not an issue.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 04, 2012, 12:16:36 AM
Quote from: Luna on February 04, 2012, 12:01:04 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 03, 2012, 06:35:27 PM
Leln doesn't have to get drunk if she doesn't want to.
She scares the turds out of me.
Leln can drink as much, or as little, as she wants. All I ask is that nobody puke on the rugs.
Not an issue.
Not worried about it. :wink: Ask anybody who's been here how many rugs I actually have.
We've got an upcoming contract working out of Woods Hole. I think it might be a little too soon for this but I have no idea how long the job goes so there's a chance I'll be in reasonable proximity.
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on February 04, 2012, 01:15:41 PM
We've got an upcoming contract working out of Woods Hole. I think it might be a little too soon for this but I have no idea how long the job goes so there's a chance I'll be in reasonable proximity.
That would be awesome.