Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Literate Chaotic => Topic started by: El Sjaako on February 14, 2012, 06:39:20 PM

Title: Find out who you are!
Post by: El Sjaako on February 14, 2012, 06:39:20 PM
We have long been cursed. None knew the answer to that eternal question: "Who am I?" But I have discovered a cure!

First you must watch some TV. Watch it like it's supposed to be watched i.e., the advertisements count.

You are now a product. Congratulations! There is a company out there selling your attention wholesale.

Now you call them and ask them what they are selling. Good luck!
Title: Re: Find out who you are!
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 14, 2012, 06:41:45 PM
Quote from: el sjaako on February 14, 2012, 06:39:20 PM
We have long been cursed. None knew the answer to that eternal question: "Who am I?" But I have discovered a cure!

First you must watch some TV. Watch it like it's supposed to be watched i.e., the advertisements count.

You are now a product. Congratulations! There is a company out there selling your attention wholesale.

Now you call them and ask them what they are selling. Good luck!

Why?  They tell us what they're selling.  Happiness.  Truth.  America.  Great big fucking piles of pills, just like Grandma used to make.  Ask yourself this simple question:  Am I better off with all this stuff, or would I rather live in Mali?  That's right.  You have to choose between TOO MUCH, and NOT ENOUGH, and TOO MUCH IS ALWAYS BETTER THAN NOT ENOUGH.
Title: Re: Find out who you are!
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on February 14, 2012, 06:50:25 PM
Hi! How can I help you today?

I don't really want to be helped, I'm just here because my parents dragged me here.

Oh, we get that a lot, hon. Don't worry, we'll find something that fits.

No, you don't understand, I'm not interested in buying one of your identities.

I hear you! And we'd never force you to buy anything against your will, just take a look around! Get some ideas. Maybe you'd like to try on some of this 90's grunge?

Ugh, plaid?

Very popular with the hipsters right now...

I'd rather get shot.

In that case, maybe something from our goth collection? We have classic 80s, 90s revival, and industrial?

Yeah, no.

Maybe something a little more popular?

What, like your bullshit preppie cheerleader section?

Yeah, probably not, huh.

You just don't get it. I don't care what I look like, I don't care what other people think about me, and I don't want to be in one of your stupid fucking boxes. I want to be an independent thinker, a romantic anarchist with enough sense to know that anarchy doesn't really work but too much anger to sit well in the system! I want be pretty in an unconventional way and make friends that care about things but don't really know how to change them so we all sit around talking about how to make the world a better place, and maybe we make a little impact before we get all old and gross like our parents.

Perfect! We have an independent anarcho-realist right over here!

I said I didn't -- oh, wait, that actually fits pretty well.

Do you want it in the pink or the green?
Title: Re: Find out who you are!
Post by: LMNO on February 14, 2012, 06:54:29 PM
Yeowch.  Nicely done, there.
Title: Re: Find out who you are!
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 14, 2012, 06:59:06 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on February 14, 2012, 06:54:29 PM
Yeowch.  Nicely done, there.

I like this new person.
Title: Re: Find out who you are!
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on February 14, 2012, 07:00:28 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 14, 2012, 06:59:06 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on February 14, 2012, 06:54:29 PM
Yeowch.  Nicely done, there.

I like this new person.
Seconded.
Title: Re: Find out who you are!
Post by: Elder Iptuous on February 14, 2012, 07:04:04 PM
QG wins the thread.
Title: Re: Find out who you are!
Post by: Triple Zero on February 14, 2012, 08:14:08 PM
That was really good.
Title: Re: Find out who you are!
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 14, 2012, 11:48:30 PM
Quote from: Queen_Gogira on February 14, 2012, 07:00:28 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 14, 2012, 06:59:06 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on February 14, 2012, 06:54:29 PM
Yeowch.  Nicely done, there.

I like this new person.
Seconded.

:lulz:

Also, nice post.
Title: Re: Find out who you are!
Post by: hirley0 on February 17, 2012, 07:45:53 AM
hirley0 and 0 Guests are viewing this topic. Reply #49:
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Quote from: Nigel on February 14, 2012, 11:48:30 PM
I like this new person.  :lulz:  Also, nice post.