Sam Brockton was a veteran plumber. He had been snaking drains, unclogging bunged up toilets, and running pipes for 20 years now. Everyone knew that he was the go-to guy. And, he charged a fair rate. Lord knows that is a hard thing to come by these days in any kind of home-repair service. Safe to say, the guy had become a very well known and appreciated fixture in the community.
He remembered the big scourge that cropped up a few years ago. A rash of burglaries hit the town, impacting dozens of homes in multiple neighborhoods. The thieves were breaking into homes while people were out of town and snagging all of the copper piping and wiring. Families would come home to disasters and discover they were basically left without running water. Good ole Sam, though, would come through. In many instances, he would do the installations pro bono. Families just had to pay for materials. That really went a long way to ease tensions in the community.
One day, Sam was in a home doing an upgrade on a bath/shower combo. Everything was going swimmingly as one would expect given his vast experience and knowledge. It was a pretty routine installation. However, tragedy soon struck unexpectedly. As he was down on the floor tightening a fixture, something happened...perhaps he had accidentally kicked the counter, maybe it was the family's pet Corgi, whatever happened, his opened toolbox came crashing down on top of him. Now, if you know anything about plumbing you know that they tend to carry around hefty toolboxes with some heavy duty equipment. Thankfully, one of the homeowners was within earshot and came to his aid. He was quickly whisked off to the emergency room where he received care. Fortunately, he did pull through and after a month of healing, he was able to get right back to work, which made the townspeople very happy.
Though, to this day, he will still tell you that it was a very gut-wrenching experience.
I hate you so much.
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on February 23, 2012, 07:35:59 PM
I hate you so much.
I'd say you get used to it, but I'd be lying.
I don't know if the thought of being trapped in a car with WHN and Richter in a pun war fills me with horror, glee, or some sick, masochistic combination of both.
Hey now, don't get me wrapped up in your sick Rule 34 shenanigans!!!
Quote from: What's-His-Name? on February 23, 2012, 07:43:26 PM
Hey now, don't get me wrapped up in your sick Rule 34 shenanigans!!!
I hadn't gone there, until you brought it up.
The images now in my head may require industrial bleach to remove.
Now, now, I think Richter is a fine looking fellow. ;)
Quote from: What's-His-Name? on February 23, 2012, 07:51:03 PM
Now, now, I think Richter is a fine looking fellow. ;)
He is, that. (And so are you, for that matter.) :p
However, nobody should be doing THAT in the front seat of a Volvo moving at 80 MPH.
Well, Volvo's do tend to be your safer automobiles, so it would be better in a Volvo than say, a Ford Escort.
Of course, at 80 MPH, your Ford Escort will start to shimmy and vibrate and then proceed to disintegrate.
I rather enjoy WHN's puns.
[quote author
=Waffle Iron link=topic=31752.msg1150693#msg1150693 date=1330082056]
I rather enjoy WHN's puns.
[/quote]
Strangely enough, so do I... Richter's too. (He can be amazing when he's on a roll.)
It's just that the knee jerk reaction to what they do to the English language is to smack 'em on the head... Giggling madly while I do it, yes, and it's done with affection. (Richter has seen me haul off and REALLY smack somebody in the skull...)
Quote from: Waffle Iron on February 24, 2012, 11:14:16 AM
I rather enjoy WHN's puns.
DO YOU KISS YOUR MOTHER WITH THAT MOUF!?!?
I really like this new format I've been trying out. Probably unsurprisingly, I think of the pun first and then create the backstory. It's a useful creative writing exercise for me and I thank you all for entertaining me when I do it.
Also, we would be remiss if we didn't throw some pun props to Mr. 000 who is a very deft and formidable punster.
Quote from: What's-His-Name? on February 24, 2012, 01:00:03 PM
I really like this new format I've been trying out. Probably unsurprisingly, I think of the pun first and then create the backstory. It's a useful creative writing exercise for me and I thank you all for entertaining me when I do it.
Also, we would be remiss if we didn't throw some pun props to Mr. 000 who is a very deft and formidable punster.
And puns in a language which is not his first language, which impresses the living hell out of me.
:fap::1fap::1fap::1fap:
I dont know why puns drive me nuts. I mean i make them sometimes myself. But one thing i certain- i picture whn in his office with a smug look on his face knowing that hes made my eyelid a little more twitchy. I imagine this is a mental tactic to protect my sanity. Hes doing it on purpose!
I will admit a certain level of satisfaction when I know I've come up with a particularly potent and well constructed pun. I know there's a fair number that are mediocre to average, but I do relish the ones I mustard up that get a good rise out of the crowd.
By the way, in case anyone ever wondered, the origins of WHN-punning can pretty much be traced back to this:
http://madballs.wikia.com/wiki/Madballs_Comic_1 (http://madballs.wikia.com/wiki/Madballs_Comic_1)
Quote
Plot While playing hide and seek with the Madballs, the children hide in a cornfield, only to be captured by the minions of a mysterious new villain. When the Madballs go through the cornfield and search for the missing children, they find a trail of corn leading to an old barn. Inside the barn, they see the kids being held captive by Colonel Corn, who was originally a kernel of corn until he fell into the toxic R.U.I.N. lake, and now is "corn-sidering" ruling the world. The Madballs are at first no match for Colonel Corn due to his horrible corn puns weakening them. Dust Brain temporarily manages to stop Colonel Corn from saying more puns by using his gauze to wrap around his mouth and shut him up. It doesn't last long when Colonel Corn summons his last weapon, a large Cornball that also tells horrible puns. All hope is lost until Lynn pretends to insult the Madballs to make Screamin' Meemie so angry that he glows white hot and makes all of the corn turn into pop corn. Before sending Colonel Corn to the police, the gang watch television while eating the pop corn made from what remains of his minions.
I never realized how truly degenerate you were.
I used to do impressions too. My favorite was Sean Connery, though, I think many novice impressionists gravitate to him. To this day, I'm amazed my wife married me despite my puns and impressions and otherwise corn-ball sense of humor.
Must be the big feet.
Truly, the only ways to show real appreciation for puns are:
1. Groan/Eyeroll
2. "I hate you."
3. Threat of physical violence
4. Flee the room, holding your nose and screaming.
Some substitutions accepted.
Quote from: Luna on February 24, 2012, 06:33:15 PM
Truly, the only ways to show real appreciation for puns are:
1. Groan/Eyeroll
2. "I hate you."
3. Threat of physical violence
4. Flee the room, holding your nose and screaming.
Some substitutions accepted.
Even between contesting punners?
The only puns that make me groan are bad ones. Of course, I'm using bad in the context of composition/execution/delivery and so on. You can find a lot of bad puns at punoftheday.com An evil site that does punnery injustice. And not just because they won't publish some of the puns I send them.
But I think with contesting punners it would be like anything else. I really good one, or bad one depending on how you look at it, just makes the other punner want to up their game.
Quote from: Luna on February 24, 2012, 10:14:53 AM
Quote from: What's-His-Name? on February 23, 2012, 07:51:03 PM
Now, now, I think Richter is a fine looking fellow. ;)
He is, that. (And so are you, for that matter.) :p
However, nobody should be doing THAT in the front seat of a Volvo moving at 80 MPH.
:( Why not? It's th ONLY good place for it.
Quote from: Waffle Iron on February 24, 2012, 07:00:08 PM
Quote from: Luna on February 24, 2012, 06:33:15 PM
Truly, the only ways to show real appreciation for puns are:
1. Groan/Eyeroll
2. "I hate you."
3. Threat of physical violence
4. Flee the room, holding your nose and screaming.
Some substitutions accepted.
Even between contesting punners?
Hitting 'em back with another pun is also acceptable.
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on February 25, 2012, 01:29:03 AM
Quote from: Luna on February 24, 2012, 10:14:53 AM
Quote from: What's-His-Name? on February 23, 2012, 07:51:03 PM
Now, now, I think Richter is a fine looking fellow. ;)
He is, that. (And so are you, for that matter.) :p
However, nobody should be doing THAT in the front seat of a Volvo moving at 80 MPH.
:( Why not? It's th ONLY good place for it.
I can think of a few better places...
Quote from: Luna on February 24, 2012, 01:14:03 PM
Quote from: What's-His-Name? on February 24, 2012, 01:00:03 PM
I really like this new format I've been trying out. Probably unsurprisingly, I think of the pun first and then create the backstory. It's a useful creative writing exercise for me and I thank you all for entertaining me when I do it.
Also, we would be remiss if we didn't throw some pun props to Mr. 000 who is a very deft and formidable punster.
And puns in a language which is not his first language, which impresses the living hell out of me.
I dunno but English is almost like a 1.5th language to me, not a second language. My study books were English and I've spent so much time on American/English forums (also before PD) and just reading shit on the Internet, I'm sure I've read significantly more English than Dutch in my life. Like 5x as much or so. As for writing I'm not sure--no wait I am sure, because I write more on this forum than I do anywhere else, so yeah :)
Hey RWHN, I just had a thought, for me, punning is a lot like rhyming. Is it? You're looking for words that "fit" some sort of structure, and try to fit them into a story or a sentence at the same time. And the signifier of a good rhyme as with a good pun is that it's better as the less obvious it is that you searched for it, but feels natural within the context. Of course because a pun is humour, you can subvert this and make it super-obvious and it still works, but that goes with rhymes too. Especially Sinterklaas rhymes. I should probably listen more Raffi :)
Quote from: What's-His-Name? on February 24, 2012, 04:19:33 PM
I used to do impressions too. My favorite was Sean Connery, though, I think many novice impressionists gravitate to him. To this day, I'm amazed my wife married me despite my puns and impressions and otherwise corn-ball sense of humor.
Must be the big feet.
Maybe it was the amazing impression? :lulz: