Principia Discordia

http://www.extremelysmart.com/humor/puntest.php (http://www.extremelysmart.com/humor/puntest.php)

To take the SPT, merely make an X beside each punch line that you either remember the story that goes with it, or that you can easily build a story to fit. Remember, a score of 100 percent is not necessarily desirable!

   
• One good tern deserves an udder.
• A fiery 'stead with the spite of Leed, A clout of dust, And a hearty "Buy old Silver"!
• A gritty pearl is Michael, LLD.
• A sink is as good as a tod to a blind Norse.
• A weigh a day keeps the doctor an Apple.
• Abscesses make the fart go "HONDA"!
• Ah, sweet Mr. Rhee of Life, at last I've found you!
• All of Hing's courses and all of Ming's ken couldn't get gum tea to feather a hen.
• Am I Mike Carruthers' beeper?
• And she thus became the first chicken to catch a Tory.
• Another case where the spirit was willing but the flush was weak.
• Artie chokes three for a dollar at local market.
• Bargain dogs don't bite.
• Because Herman the German was used to hard ships.
• Better Nate than lever.
• Booty is in the "Aye" of the bee holder.
• But actually mah hammered alley is really cashew's clay.
• But of course, the Czech is always in the male.
• Came the reply, "That was no laser — that was my knife!"
• Carrying /young/ /gulls/ across a /staid lion/ /staked lines/ for immortal porpoises.]
• Contributing to the delinquency of a miner!
• Dee, who flaps last, flaps left.
• Doctor, the thong is ended, but the malady lingers on!
• Everyone knows . . . Tarzan Stripes Forever.
• The flight attendant looks at the vulture and says, "I'm sorry, only one carrion per passenger."
• For making an obscene clone fall.
• Follow the yellow prick toad.
• General Minh prefer bronze.
• Give my big hearts to Maude, Duane. / Dismember me for Harold's choir. / Tell all the Foys on Sortibackenstrete / That I will soon be there. (Hint: think of Isaac Asimov's "Death of a Foy.")
• He who has a Tate's is lost.
• He's a typical gnu, and tiler, too.
• He's not the rigger Mort is.
• Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars!
• I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
• I don't know, but he's a dead ringer for his brother.
• I don't know, but his face sure rings a bell.
• I don't know. Am I my blubber's kipper?
• I left my harp in Sam Clam's Disco. (Variant: I left my harp in Sam Frank's Disco.)
• I wouldn't send a knight out on a dog like this.
• If there's one thing I can't stand, it's chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
• Ike's aunt gets nose hat is fact, son.
• I'm a prawn again, Tristan! I saw Cod!
• I'm booking over that four-clove leaver, though I've overcooked before!
• It was the beast of Thames, it was the wurst of Thames.
• It was the bottom of the ninth, the basses were loaded, and the score was tied.
• It was the first known instance of using core storage to save registers.
• It's a feat to keep your seat on the vicious hippy mutt.
• It's a knick-knack, Patty Wack. Give the frog a loan.
• It's a long way to tip a Raree.
• It's a rambling rack from George the Turk with an elephant engineer!
• It's the Moron Tab or an Apple Choir.
• Lou Slips, Sinks Ships.
• Lucy in the dye with Simons.
• Making him the first to wire a head for a reservation.
• Moral: A niche in time saves Stein.
• MORAL: A stolen roan gathers no moose.
• Moral: A washed pot never oils.
• Moral: Don't hatchet your counts before they chicken.
• Moral: If the foo shits, wear it.
• MORAL: Let a swine be your gorilla in a grainy, grainy bay. And if your Swede decries, just tell her that a swine will always pay. . . .
• Moral: Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers.
• Moral: People who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.
• MORAL: You can't have your kayak and heat it too.
• No, I'm a frayed knot.
• Opporknockity tunes but once. [Alternate: O'Pernokkety tunes but once.]
• Pardon me Roy, is that the cat who chewed your new shoes?
• Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!
• Rudolph, the Red, knows rain, dear.
• See! Even adders can multiply on a log table.
• Seventy-six strong clones fed the pig Baraid with a hundred and ten Chlorets close at hand.
• She is just suffering from pre-minstrel tension.
• Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids!
• SOW ROPE, NATEY-O!
• Stilling two birds with one's cone.
• Stop right where you are, boyfoot bear with teaks of Chan!
• Super California Mystic Expert Halitosis.
• That has nothing to do with it, he is just a poor conductor.
• That was the day the fit hit the Shan.
• That's the beer that made Mel Famey walk us.
• The first time a reign was called on account of the game.
• The furry with the syringe on top.
• The hills are alive with the hounds of Munich.
• The Koala tea of Mercy is not strained.
• The moral of the story: Don't put all your Basques into one exit.
• The next day, the headline in the paper read "Peter Viper wrecks a truck of pickled Steppers."
• The squire on the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the other two squires. (Variation: squaw instead of squire.)
• The star mangled spanner.
• The trill of Vicar Rhee in the agony of the feet.
• The White Man's Peak with Forked Tong.
• There's Manny, asleep between the Cub and the Lip.
• There's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.
• These are the "times" that dry men's soles. [Alternate: These are the soles that time men's tries.]
• They had left no tern unstoned.
• They're twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal.
• Time's fun when you're having flies.
• Transporting mynahs over sedate lions for immortal porpoises. [Variations:
• Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Cheese picking bunions on a Sesame Street bus!
• Wait 'til the nun signs, Shelly.
• Warning: The searchin' general has determined that smoking ziggurats is hazardous to your stealth.
• We can't have archaic and edict, too.
• We have come to seize your berries, not to appraise them. [Variant: not to praise them.]
• Well, there's something about an aqua Volvo, man. . . .
• When you're out of slits, you're out of pier!
• Where were you when the fit hit the Shan?
• Which just goes to show that, a Benny shaved is a Benny urned.
• With fronds like these, who needs anemones?
• Yeast is yeast and nest is next, and never the Maine shall tweet.
• You can take a hearse to water, but you can't make it sink.
• You can take a whore to culture, but you can't make her think. (Dorothy Parker)
• You can't have your kayak and heat it too.
• You fools! We have ways to make you tock!
• Your father's pre-ministerial syndrome caused his premature "Hey Jack, you're late, son."
• You're thore!!! I can't even thit!!

I think I need to see a doctor, I'm off the chart.   

I got fifteen.  :lulz:

I got morE backwards? :lulz: