Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: Anna Mae Bollocks on March 14, 2012, 03:48:51 AM

Title: CHENEY HAS NO PULSE...ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE OR JUST MONTY BURNS?
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on March 14, 2012, 03:48:51 AM
http://articles.nydailynews.com/2011-01-05/entertainment/27086458_1_mechanical-heart-artificial-heart-surgical-director
Title: Re: CHENEY HAS NO PULSE...ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE OR JUST MONTY BURNS?
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 14, 2012, 04:03:11 AM
HE DOESN'T HAVE A PULSE??????????

:horrormirth:

The heartbeat is such an intrinsic part of being a living person that I am incredibly creeped out by people without one walking around.
Title: Re: CHENEY HAS NO PULSE...ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE OR JUST MONTY BURNS?
Post by: Juana on March 14, 2012, 04:05:46 AM
Vampire.
Title: Re: CHENEY HAS NO PULSE...ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE OR JUST MONTY BURNS?
Post by: Phox on March 14, 2012, 04:06:24 AM
Yeah, I remember hearing about this awhile ago. Always makes me laugh.  :lulz:
Title: Re: CHENEY HAS NO PULSE...ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE OR JUST MONTY BURNS?
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on March 14, 2012, 04:06:55 AM
He's slowly becoming as creepy and artificial in the flesh as he is in spirit. I expect laser beam eyes and his human jaw to be replaced with a piece of twisted iron.
Title: Re: CHENEY HAS NO PULSE...ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE OR JUST MONTY BURNS?
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on March 14, 2012, 04:08:40 AM
He never had a heart anyway.
I expect his head will be cryogenically frozen until they can figure out how to get it to work on a robot.
Title: Re: CHENEY HAS NO PULSE...ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE OR JUST MONTY BURNS?
Post by: Don Coyote on March 14, 2012, 04:10:33 AM
I WANT A NUCLEAR POWERED BEATLESS HEART!!!!!!!
Title: Re: CHENEY HAS NO PULSE...ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE OR JUST MONTY BURNS?
Post by: Oysters Rockefeller on March 14, 2012, 04:14:30 AM
I'm so glad this is a real thing.

I just...I'm just so happy about learning this I don't know what to do.

Sidenote: I once tried to start a satirical punk rock band of "republicans." We were going to sing about trickle down economics and Jesus and be called "Dick and the Cheneys."
Title: Re: CHENEY HAS NO PULSE...ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE OR JUST MONTY BURNS?
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on March 14, 2012, 04:16:56 AM
I wonder what his chest sounds like? A Mazda engine?
Title: Re: CHENEY HAS NO PULSE...ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE OR JUST MONTY BURNS?
Post by: Oysters Rockefeller on March 14, 2012, 04:21:26 AM
The cries of a thousand small orphans silenced by the dark lord Beelzebub.
Title: Re: CHENEY HAS NO PULSE...ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE OR JUST MONTY BURNS?
Post by: Salty on March 14, 2012, 05:27:32 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on March 14, 2012, 04:05:46 AM
Vampire Undead Reptilian Nightmare.

Fixed.
Title: Re: CHENEY HAS NO PULSE...ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE OR JUST MONTY BURNS?
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on March 14, 2012, 05:33:39 AM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on March 14, 2012, 04:16:56 AM
I wonder what his chest sounds like? A Mazda engine?

You know the sound you get when you put a shell up to your ear? Like that, only with more of a roar and a hint of sly slithering under the masking growl. If you put your ear to Dick Cheney's chest and leave it there too long, a tentacle will enter your ear and stab at your brain, implanting a cyborg Cheney fetus amongst the curves and crevasses of your grey matter.
Title: Re: CHENEY HAS NO PULSE...ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE OR JUST MONTY BURNS?
Post by: Phox on March 14, 2012, 05:35:40 AM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on March 14, 2012, 04:16:56 AM
I wonder what his chest sounds like? A Mazda engine?
As funny as some of the replies to this are, I remember reading about these fancy pumps, and apparently they make a faint clicking or sucking sound.
Title: Re: CHENEY HAS NO PULSE...ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE OR JUST MONTY BURNS?
Post by: AFK on March 14, 2012, 11:00:03 AM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on March 14, 2012, 04:16:56 AM
I wonder what his chest sounds like? A Mazda engine?

Jesus on a hampster wheel
Title: Re: CHENEY HAS NO PULSE...ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE OR JUST MONTY BURNS?
Post by: EK WAFFLR on March 14, 2012, 04:49:11 PM
Quote from: Alty on March 14, 2012, 05:27:32 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on March 14, 2012, 04:05:46 AM
Vampire Undead Reptilian Nightmare David Icke's wet dream.

Fixed.
Double fixed.
Title: Re: CHENEY HAS NO PULSE...ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE OR JUST MONTY BURNS?
Post by: Juana on March 14, 2012, 05:02:48 PM
Quote from: Doktor M. Phox0 on March 14, 2012, 05:35:40 AM
:lulz: Ok, point.

Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on March 14, 2012, 04:16:56 AM
I wonder what his chest sounds like? A Mazda engine?
As funny as some of the replies to this are, I remember reading about these fancy pumps, and apparently they make a faint clicking or sucking sound.
:horrormirth:
Title: Re: CHENEY HAS NO PULSE...ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE OR JUST MONTY BURNS?
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on March 14, 2012, 05:29:53 PM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on March 14, 2012, 05:02:48 PM
Quote from: Doktor M. Phox0 on March 14, 2012, 05:35:40 AM
:lulz: Ok, point.

Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on March 14, 2012, 04:16:56 AM
I wonder what his chest sounds like? A Mazda engine?
As funny as some of the replies to this are, I remember reading about these fancy pumps, and apparently they make a faint clicking or sucking sound.
:horrormirth:

David Icke indeed. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giant_sucking_sound)   :fap:
Title: Re: CHENEY HAS NO PULSE...ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE OR JUST MONTY BURNS?
Post by: Cain on March 14, 2012, 10:23:57 PM
Dick Cheney has nothing like a human heart.

I do not see anything new here.
Title: Re: CHENEY HAS NO PULSE...ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE OR JUST MONTY BURNS?
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on March 25, 2012, 06:43:40 PM
Doesn't "transplant" imply that there was something there to begin with? I'd say he had a heart "implant"...not that it won't shrivel and blacken on contact.
http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2012/03/25/149345146/cheney-recovering-after-heart-transplant

Sometimes I think about signing an organ donor card. Then I think about things like this and I don't.

"Doctors say it's unlikely that Cheney got special treatment.

"Dr. Allen Taylor, cardiology chief at MedStar Georgetown University Hospital, told the AP that the heart transplant waiting list is "a very regimented and fair process, and heavily policed."

"As The New York Times reported, "the International Society for Heart and Lung Transplantation said that while patients recommended for a heart transplant should generally be 70 or under, 'carefully selected patients' over 70 could be considered."