Bam! http://finance.yahoo.com/news/cola-giants-carcinogenic-row-190022574.html
Also: Bam! http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504763_162-57393386-10391704/coca-cola-to-revise-levels-of-4-mi-chemical-in-u.s-sodas-amid-cancer-concerns/
This is kind of interesting. On one hand, I'm inclined not to believe a major corporation that says its products don't cause cancer. On the other hand, the American Beverage Association ran a study saying it doesn't, and we have no reason to distrust them.
Just kidding! The American Beverage Association seems to be run by people with an interest in helping soft drink manufacturers. Go figure.
The FDA is still reviewing it, so we'll see what happens.
Personally, I thought it'd be excellent to have a bunch of discordians send in mail asking coca cola to continue putting carcinogens in its American products, and suggest new carcinogens they could add.
Thoughts on any of this?
:lulz: I actually like this idea.
Limited edition Asbestos flavored Coke?
Polonium. Refreshing taste and a real money saver on haircuts.
I came here bc I thought it was drugs.
Quote from: Junkenstein on March 15, 2012, 05:37:00 AM
Polonium. Refreshing taste and a real money saver on haircuts.
It can have Marie Curie on the box!
New product: Coke GLOW.
Liquid Nicotine.
Quote from: What's-His-Name? on March 15, 2012, 01:42:46 PM
Liquid Nicotine.
They actually made that for a while a few years back, though it was bottled water laced with nicotine and not soda.
That doesn't surprise me at all.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on March 15, 2012, 01:31:28 PM
New product: Coke GLOW.
Oh that's gold. The marketing slogans write themselves.
"Due to cancerous substances in the batch, production Coca-Cola has been temporarily halted. However, there is the exciting new Coca-Cola Yellow flavor! Available from any crazy naked man near you!."
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on March 15, 2012, 01:31:28 PM
New product: Coke GLOW.
That...that is too perfect. I'm afraid it'll exist soon.
Alright...I think this is what I'm going to send in. I just wish I had a couple more double entendres in there. Thoughts?
To Whom it may concern,
I have been a coke consumer for neigh on multiple years now, and I was fairly upset when your company was wrongfully accused of poisoning customers! Personally, the addition of allegedly carcinogenic caramel coloring is something I wouldn't want to miss out on. As a long time consumer, I'm asking you not to take this away from American stores. The fact that other countries are able to obtain the ingredient while Americans miss out is bordering on the most offensive kind of racism. Not only would I like to be able to purchase REAL, NATURAL coke, but I would fully support any movement to add similar ingredients to your already lip-tingling concoction. Some of the ingredients I would recommend are:
Paradichlorobenzene
Perchloroethylene
quaternium 15
formaldehyde
Talc
trisodium nitrilotriacetate
And nicotine
Thank you for your time. I know you only have so much time to answer these letters and, as a customer, I also have very little time (because I have to buy more coke!).
I can't feel my legs,
- Ostras "Rocky" Rockefeller (Hail Eris?)
Quote from: Oysters Rockefeller on March 15, 2012, 09:43:16 PM
Alright...I think this is what I'm going to send in. I just wish I had a couple more double entendres in there. Thoughts?
To Whom it may concern,
I have been a coke consumer for neigh on multiple years now, and I was fairly upset when your company was wrongfully accused of poisoning customers! Personally, the addition of allegedly carcinogenic caramel coloring is something I wouldn't want to miss out on. As a long time consumer, I'm asking you not to take this away from American stores. The fact that other countries are able to obtain the ingredient while Americans miss out is bordering on the most offensive kind of racism. Not only would I like to be able to purchase REAL, NATURAL coke, but I would fully support any movement to add similar ingredients to your already lip-tingling concoction. Some of the ingredients I would recommend are:
Paradichlorobenzene
Perchloroethylene
quaternium 15
formaldehyde
Talc
trisodium nitrilotriacetate
And nicotine
Thank you for your time. I know you only have so much time to answer these letters and, as a customer, I also have very little time (because I have to buy more coke!).
I can't feel my legs,
- Ostras "Rocky" Rockefeller (Hail Eris?)
YES.
Quote from: What's-His-Name? on March 15, 2012, 01:42:46 PM
Liquid Nicotine.
Doesn't pure liquid nicotine cause anaphylactic shock and then kill you outright?
Yes. Sadly, I assume they were not selling a concentrated version.
Of course, that nicotine is an alkaloid should have told them that it wasn't going to work as a drink, either. Yum, a bitter, nasty-smelling drink.
Been playing Fallout have we?
Quote from: http://fallout.wikia.com/wiki/Nuka-Cola#Nuka-Cola_QuantumNuka-Cola QuantumEdit
FO3 Nuka-Cola Quantum.png
Gameplay articles: Fallout 3, Fallout: New Vegas
In 2077, a new version called Nuka-Cola Quantum was introduced. According to the advertisements, it had twice the calories, twice the carbohydrates, twice the caffeine and twice the taste. To make it stand out more on the shelves and to give it an extra kick, the Quantum included a mild radioactive strontium isotope (and an eighteenth fruit flavor - pomegranate). The effect was a drink that not only boosted your energy, but also glowed with a bright blue light. While no ill effects were recorded by the Food and Drug Administration, the isotope also caused the drinker's urine to glow.
Reports that can be obtained in the Nuka-Cola Factory show that product development had not been without failures and casualties. Ultimately, according to Milo the Shipping Foreman, the company found a suitable isotope in strontium-90. The product was made in small experimental groups, which were then sent out around Washington, D.C. for feedback. Unfortunately, while the product was being sent out for response, some of the packages were caught out in the Great War.
(http://fallout3.wikispaces.com/file/view/ScreenShot73.JPG/45764405/ScreenShot73.JPG)
Nuka condolences...that is excellent.
Also, props for the Byron quote.
Quote from: Faust on March 15, 2012, 10:05:15 PM
Quote from: What's-His-Name? on March 15, 2012, 01:42:46 PM
Liquid Nicotine.
Doesn't pure liquid nicotine cause anaphylactic shock and then kill you outright?
Yeah. It also makes a great insecticide.
Yeah, it's not actually anaphylaxis but acetylcholine poisoning which is treated with diphenhydramine (benadryl) for its anticholinergic properties.
Fun fact: Atropine is the main drug push we use in the field for acetylcholine poisoning...which like tobacco, derived from the nightshade family.
Oh fuck....now you went and did it. :lol:
Quote from: navkat on March 16, 2012, 12:06:29 AM
Yeah, it's not actually anaphylaxis but acetylcholine poisoning which is treated with diphenhydramine (benadryl) for its anticholinergic properties.
Fun fact: Atropine is the main drug push we use in the field for acetylcholine poisoning...which like tobacco, derived from the nightshade family.
Awesome, nightshade Cola!
Nightshade Cola, now with even more Vitamin A!
Shine Crystal clear with NuClear Cola!*
*radio isotopes may interfere with your grandchildren's development of x-ray vision
I can't wait to taste the future!
(http://www.instructables.com/files/deriv/FS3/N8LL/FUNOXLQ1/FS3N8LLFUNOXLQ1.MEDIUM.jpg)
Quote from: !rB>C on March 19, 2012, 06:50:41 PM
I can't wait to taste the future!
(http://www.instructables.com/files/deriv/FS3/N8LL/FUNOXLQ1/FS3N8LLFUNOXLQ1.MEDIUM.jpg)
:lulz: :lulz:
Quote from: 1SwellFOop on March 15, 2012, 05:07:16 PM
"Due to cancerous substances in the batch, production Coca-Cola has been temporarily halted. However, there is the exciting new Coca-Cola Yellow flavor! Available from any crazy naked man near you!."
Hmmm...familiar bouquet...
Quote from: Deepthroat Chopra on March 19, 2012, 11:42:26 PM
Quote from: 1SwellFOop on March 15, 2012, 05:07:16 PM
"Due to cancerous substances in the batch, production Coca-Cola has been temporarily halted. However, there is the exciting new Coca-Cola Yellow flavor! Available from any crazy naked man near you!."
Hmmm...familiar bouquet...
That's an aromatic compound found to be retroactively teratogenic in humans, producing stem cells that are then used for flavor enhancement in pepsi products
Quote from: LuciferX on March 20, 2012, 12:33:23 AM
Quote from: Deepthroat Chopra on March 19, 2012, 11:42:26 PM
Quote from: 1SwellFOop on March 15, 2012, 05:07:16 PM
"Due to cancerous substances in the batch, production Coca-Cola has been temporarily halted. However, there is the exciting new Coca-Cola Yellow flavor! Available from any crazy naked man near you!."
Hmmm...familiar bouquet...
retroactively teratogenic
What?
Do you know what a teratogen even
is? If I consume a compound after giving birth, I promise you, my 8-year-old son's not going to get birth defects in New York.
Nice try though.
Try again, moron.
Quote from: navkat on March 20, 2012, 08:35:42 AM
Quote from: LuciferX on March 20, 2012, 12:33:23 AM
Quote from: Deepthroat Chopra on March 19, 2012, 11:42:26 PM
Quote from: 1SwellFOop on March 15, 2012, 05:07:16 PM
"Due to cancerous substances in the batch, production Coca-Cola has been temporarily halted. However, there is the exciting new Coca-Cola Yellow flavor! Available from any crazy naked man near you!."
Hmmm...familiar bouquet...
retroactively teratogenic
What?
Do you know what a teratogen even is? If I consume a compound after giving birth, I promise you, my 8-year-old son's not going to get birth defects in New York.
Nice try though.
Try again, moron.
I think vitamin A is both a mutagen and a teratogen. Re: time travel humor, see above, mr. Innocent Spectator :lulz:
Quote from: navkat on March 20, 2012, 08:35:42 AM
Quote from: LuciferX on March 20, 2012, 12:33:23 AM
Quote from: Deepthroat Chopra on March 19, 2012, 11:42:26 PM
Quote from: 1SwellFOop on March 15, 2012, 05:07:16 PM
"Due to cancerous substances in the batch, production Coca-Cola has been temporarily halted. However, there is the exciting new Coca-Cola Yellow flavor! Available from any crazy naked man near you!."
Hmmm...familiar bouquet...
retroactively teratogenic
What?
Do you know what a teratogen even is? If I consume a compound after giving birth, I promise you, my 8-year-old son's not going to get birth defects in New York.
Nice try though.
Try again, moron.
He just makes shit up, Nav. Get mad at the sun for rising.
Quote from: navkat on March 20, 2012, 08:35:42 AM
Quote from: LuciferX on March 20, 2012, 12:33:23 AM
Quote from: Deepthroat Chopra on March 19, 2012, 11:42:26 PM
Quote from: 1SwellFOop on March 15, 2012, 05:07:16 PM
"Due to cancerous substances in the batch, production Coca-Cola has been temporarily halted. However, there is the exciting new Coca-Cola Yellow flavor! Available from any crazy naked man near you!."
Hmmm...familiar bouquet...
retroactively teratogenic
What?
Do you know what a teratogen even is? If I consume a compound after giving birth, I promise you, my 8-year-old son's not going to get birth defects in New York.
Nice try though.
Try again, moron.
I think it was meant to be a joke. But his nonstop nonsense is so tiresome I can see how it would all blur together and be difficult to distinguish.