Sometimes, all I really wish for is to be normal. To be complacent, happy, and dull.
Being weird is lonely. You can't just turn it off when it becomes inconvenient, and I don't want to be anyone's novelty.
I come here because, for the most part, this is one of the few places where I feel like I belong. Even when people hate me, I still know I'm not alone, not the only malcontent in an ocean of the unquestioning.
But then I wonder whether maybe everyone feels exactly this way, exactly this isolated, this strange. Maybe this is the baseline experience of human existence.
Or maybe it's the flu speaking.
I think I miss being married.
Hang in there, lady. I know how you feel.
I always get all emo when I'm ill. I'll be OK soon enough.
Sometimes being weird means being by yourself. And the alternative to being weird is:
:teabagger1:
Which is still weird, but in all the wrong ways. (Maybe weirdness really is the baseline) Something tells me all the adults in that pic are married, too.
No. Just...NO. :x
Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2012, 04:23:23 AM
I always get all emo when I'm ill. I'll be OK soon enough.
(http://akikomoorman.com/img/angrychicken.jpg)
LOOK AT THAT FUCKING CHICKEN! FEEL BETTER!
It feels like the OP was ripped out of my head.
One thin that makes that even worse for me is when I meet someone similar enough, but then it goes horribly, horribly wrong. Bad wiring. Yet I'm still not like the rest of these fucks.
Yeah, I don't want to be them, either. :lulz:
I think it's just that when I'm sick I feel vulnerable and want to be taken care of, so these feelings come to the surface more readily. I was married for most of my adult life, and FFS, I LIKE being married.
I'll feel more myself in the morning.
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on March 24, 2012, 04:39:13 AM
Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2012, 04:23:23 AM
I always get all emo when I'm ill. I'll be OK soon enough.
(http://akikomoorman.com/img/angrychicken.jpg)
LOOK AT THAT FUCKING CHICKEN! FEEL BETTER!
:lol: You're funny.
Quote from: Alty on March 24, 2012, 04:44:22 AM
It feels like the OP was ripped out of my head.
One thin that makes that even worse for me is when I meet someone similar enough, but then it goes horribly, horribly wrong. Bad wiring. Yet I'm still not like the rest of these fucks.
Oh god, yes. It's possibly worse when I meet someone similar enough, and then we scar each other for life and go our separate ways a little bit MORE lonely than before.
Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2012, 04:04:57 AM
Sometimes, all I really wish for is to be normal. To be complacent, happy, and dull.
Being weird is lonely. You can't just turn it off when it becomes inconvenient, and I don't want to be anyone's novelty.
I come here because, for the most part, this is one of the few places where I feel like I belong. Even when people hate me, I still know I'm not alone, not the only malcontent in an ocean of the unquestioning.
But then I wonder whether maybe everyone feels exactly this way, exactly this isolated, this strange. Maybe this is the baseline experience of human existence.
Or maybe it's the flu speaking.
I think I miss being married.
I've never gotten sick of the weird, though I have grown weary of weirdos, from time to time. But that's just mostly when they force it. I definitely feel isolated and strange; I can't get my head around the way "normal" people live & think (or say they think). It feels like I'm being trolled, like everyone's having a good laugh at my expense, because I seriously bought shit like Sarah Palin and Rick Santorum.
And there's a cure for people treating you like a novelty. Pretty sure you already know that.
I always think I'm being trolled. And am always disappointed when it turns out I'm not.
I think that a good night's sleep, starting now, will help fix some of this melancholy.
Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2012, 05:19:15 AM
I always think I'm being trolled. And am always disappointed when it turns out I'm not.
I think that a good night's sleep, starting now, will help fix some of this melancholy.
Yep. It's like you told me a few weeks back: More sleep, less booze, get out and walk around.
Did me a world of fucking good.
Feel better, Nigel.
That feeling when you're surrounded by people, but you're all alone.
Yeah.
It's lonely in my world.
Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2012, 04:04:57 AM
Sometimes, all I really wish for is to be normal. To be complacent, happy, and dull.
Being weird is lonely. You can't just turn it off when it becomes inconvenient, and I don't want to be anyone's novelty.
I come here because, for the most part, this is one of the few places where I feel like I belong. Even when people hate me, I still know I'm not alone, not the only malcontent in an ocean of the unquestioning.
But then I wonder whether maybe everyone feels exactly this way, exactly this isolated, this strange. Maybe this is the baseline experience of human existence.
Or maybe it's the flu speaking.
I think I miss being married.
Nigel, in the most caring way possible, fuck this line of thinking.
I spent part of high school thinking like that. If I was this normal, then I realized I wouldn't have perspective. I would be happy with all the little hand-fed, manufacture hings that will make 51% of the people satisfied. I'd be into the right sports, play the right way, try to get the good grades, and otherwise accept a hamster wheel for a lost highway. It STILL wouldn't equate to contentment either. There'd be contentment, eventually, but it would be the prosaic kind. Sure, my fun may not come as often or as easy. That wasn't a dysfunction though, just a different timetable. It's still all the more worthwhile when it does happen too.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 24, 2012, 05:20:21 AM
Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2012, 05:19:15 AM
I always think I'm being trolled. And am always disappointed when it turns out I'm not.
I think that a good night's sleep, starting now, will help fix some of this melancholy.
Yep. It's like you told me a few weeks back: More sleep, less booze, get out and walk around.
Did me a world of fucking good.
E.O.T. says that I am forbidden to leave the house until the fever goes away. Which kind of conflicts with my GED testing and also I wanted to run the dogs with the Space Badass family today.
I can't even think about booze after Wednesday. Hork.
Quote from: Richter on March 24, 2012, 01:29:24 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2012, 04:04:57 AM
Sometimes, all I really wish for is to be normal. To be complacent, happy, and dull.
Being weird is lonely. You can't just turn it off when it becomes inconvenient, and I don't want to be anyone's novelty.
I come here because, for the most part, this is one of the few places where I feel like I belong. Even when people hate me, I still know I'm not alone, not the only malcontent in an ocean of the unquestioning.
But then I wonder whether maybe everyone feels exactly this way, exactly this isolated, this strange. Maybe this is the baseline experience of human existence.
Or maybe it's the flu speaking.
I think I miss being married.
Nigel, in the most caring way possible, fuck this line of thinking.
I spent part of high school thinking like that. If I was this normal, then I realized I wouldn't have perspective. I would be happy with all the little hand-fed, manufacture hings that will make 51% of the people satisfied. I'd be into the right sports, play the right way, try to get the good grades, and otherwise accept a hamster wheel for a lost highway. It STILL wouldn't equate to contentment either. There'd be contentment, eventually, but it would be the prosaic kind. Sure, my fun may not come as often or as easy. That wasn't a dysfunction though, just a different timetable. It's still all the more worthwhile when it does happen too.
Thanks, Richter. :) I try to tell myself that the one thing I can do is take the passion and intensity that often makes me lonely and miserable and turn them into something useful and interesting, and that way even if I'm never really happy again, I'll have some other kind of purpose.
Quote from: Sir Squid Diddimus on March 24, 2012, 01:27:44 PM
That feeling when you're surrounded by people, but you're all alone.
Yeah.
It's lonely in my world.
Daw! <3
Ah, i know that feeling far too well. Even though i would never want to live like 'normal' people do, sometimes i wish that i could fit in just a little, just be a little normal, dull and happy.
You're not the only one, so no need to feel lonely. Hope you'll eventually feel better. :)
Oh, I can identify!
My closest friends nowadays are probably all books.
Yeah, i know that feeling too, good food and sunshine often helps.
You know what depresses me even more than the thought that i'm not being trolled?
The idea that I am above average.
Seriously reality? Aiming low are we?
Quote from: :regret: on March 29, 2012, 09:41:12 PM
Yeah, i know that feeling too, good food and sunshine often helps.
You know what depresses me even more than the thought that i'm not being trolled?
The idea that I am above average.
Seriously reality? Aiming low are we?
Sunshine? :lulz:
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 24, 2012, 05:20:21 AM
Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2012, 05:19:15 AM
I always think I'm being trolled. And am always disappointed when it turns out I'm not.
I think that a good night's sleep, starting now, will help fix some of this melancholy.
Yep. It's like you told me a few weeks back: More sleep, less booze...
Why does that sound like part of a weird kids cheer squad routine?
"Ready? Okay!
Less booze, more sleep!
Close your eyes and be a sheep!
More sleep, less booze!
You're acting like a fucking cooze!
Shut! *stomp*
Your cakehole! *clap clap*
Shut-shut! *stomp*
that cakehole! *clap clap*
You won't get away with tricks-
cuz we're a forum full of dicks!
GOOOOO RETARDS!!!!!
(http://www.classisajoke.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/cheerleader-sign-spelled-wrong.jpeg)
:lulz:
I need to stop posting to peedee on my ativan.
Christ, my friends are assholes. I might post more about this later.