Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: Doktor Howl on April 18, 2012, 05:27:43 PM

Title: The Only Reason I Can Tolerate Discordianism
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 18, 2012, 05:27:43 PM
The only reason I can tolerate Discordianism is that it's the only religion in which it is understood that Holy Men™ shit out of their mouths and dispense wisdom with their asses.  I have a big wad of wisdom forming behind the hair right now, and it's damn near at the pressure that will overcome even the strength of my steel wool-like ass dreadlocks.

When this fucker blows, you bastards will be picking wisdom & enlightenment out of your teeth for WEEKS.  Which is no less than you deserve, really.

I mean, look at You People.

Title: Re: The Only Reason I Can Tolerate Discordianism
Post by: CorbeauEtRenard on April 18, 2012, 05:51:07 PM
I've always felt that attitude about Holy Men™ was even more the point of declaring every man, woman, and child a Pope than the self-determination angle.

Also, thanks for the warning, even though I suspect that Gallager-audience plastic sheets won't make any difference.  :lulz:
Title: Re: The Only Reason I Can Tolerate Discordianism
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 18, 2012, 05:54:10 PM
Quote from: CorbeauEtRenard on April 18, 2012, 05:51:07 PM
I've always felt that attitude about Holy Men™ was even more the point of declaring every man, woman, and child a Pope than the self-determination angle.

Yep.  You can get more actual wisdom from a 6 year old than you can from Conspiracy™ brand holy men.


Quote from: CorbeauEtRenard on April 18, 2012, 05:51:07 PM
Also, thanks for the warning, even though I suspect that Gallager-audience plastic sheets won't make any difference.  :lulz:

When those combust, they stick to your skin.  Your best bet is to just not struggle.
Title: Re: The Only Reason I Can Tolerate Discordianism
Post by: Cain on April 18, 2012, 05:57:10 PM
I thought the only reason you could tolerate Discordianism was because a) you suffer from deep-seated misanthropy and b) PD is dead, rendering the former irrelevant.
Title: Re: The Only Reason I Can Tolerate Discordianism
Post by: EK WAFFLR on April 18, 2012, 05:59:44 PM
You just inspired my own Holy trip to the thinking room. brb.
Title: Re: The Only Reason I Can Tolerate Discordianism
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 18, 2012, 06:01:35 PM
Quote from: Cain on April 18, 2012, 05:57:10 PM
I thought the only reason you could tolerate Discordianism was because a) you suffer from deep-seated misanthropy and b) PD is dead, rendering the former irrelevant.

Okay, so there's more reasons.
Title: Re: The Only Reason I Can Tolerate Discordianism
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 18, 2012, 06:02:29 PM
And PD isn't DEAD, there's plenty of people VIEWING UNREAD TOPICS.

This is a healthy sign.
Title: Re: The Only Reason I Can Tolerate Discordianism
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 18, 2012, 06:02:58 PM
Quote from: Waffle Iron on April 18, 2012, 05:59:44 PM
You just inspired my own Holy trip to the thinking room. brb.

PREACH IT, BROTHER OLAF!
Title: Re: The Only Reason I Can Tolerate Discordianism
Post by: Wolfgang Absolutus on April 19, 2012, 12:33:39 AM
Isn't the concept of wisdom itself childish.
Title: Re: The Only Reason I Can Tolerate Discordianism
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 19, 2012, 01:15:44 AM
Quote from: CorbeauEtRenard on April 18, 2012, 05:51:07 PM
I've always felt that attitude about Holy Men™ was even more the point of declaring every man, woman, and child a Pope than the self-determination angle.

Even the Universal Life Church says everybody is a reverend.

Stella
is a Reverend

and a Pope

and a Mome

Quote
Also, thanks for the warning, even though I suspect that Gallager-audience plastic sheets won't make any difference.  :lulz:

That stuff melts ASBESTOS.
Title: Re: The Only Reason I Can Tolerate Discordianism
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 19, 2012, 02:17:36 AM
Quote from: Wolfgang Absolutus on April 19, 2012, 12:33:39 AM
Isn't the concept of wisdom itself childish.

YES, IT'S MUCH BETTER TO BE A DUMBASS.

DUMBASS.
Title: Re: The Only Reason I Can Tolerate Discordianism
Post by: Don Coyote on April 19, 2012, 02:43:03 AM
Quote from: Wolfgang Absolutus on April 19, 2012, 12:33:39 AM
Isn't the concept of wisdom itself childish.

How the FUCK does that even make sense?
Title: Re: The Only Reason I Can Tolerate Discordianism
Post by: AFK on April 19, 2012, 02:47:32 AM
Quote from: Wolfgang Absolutus on April 19, 2012, 12:33:39 AM
Isn't the concept of wisdom itself childish.

Depends on the brain-pan of the beholder. 
Title: Re: The Only Reason I Can Tolerate Discordianism
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 19, 2012, 06:55:33 AM
You have to surround yourself with the kind of people who buy that stuff.

And then you have to say it like it's RILLY PROFOUND. And make Charles Manson eyes at them. 
Title: Re: The Only Reason I Can Tolerate Discordianism
Post by: Telarus on April 19, 2012, 01:43:10 PM
Quote from: Wolfgang Absolutus on April 19, 2012, 12:33:39 AM
Isn't the concept of wisdom itself childish.

Hung Mung danced around, slapping his ass, crying "I Don't Know! I Don't Know!"
Title: Re: The Only Reason I Can Tolerate Discordianism
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on April 19, 2012, 03:56:32 PM
If the old cave man says to the young cave man dont try and kill that gazelle just yet its not tired enough thats wisdom. Knowledge based on long experience. I dont see how thats childish. Chasing after the gazelle even after he said that on the other hand...
Title: Re: The Only Reason I Can Tolerate Discordianism
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 19, 2012, 04:44:21 PM
Quote from: Wolfgang Absolutus on April 19, 2012, 12:33:39 AM
Isn't the concept of wisdom itself childish.

What?  :lulz: Are you trying to be somehow profound about innocence being wise?
Title: Re: The Only Reason I Can Tolerate Discordianism
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 19, 2012, 04:51:19 PM
Quote from: Nigel on April 19, 2012, 04:44:21 PM
Quote from: Wolfgang Absolutus on April 19, 2012, 12:33:39 AM
Isn't the concept of wisdom itself childish.

What?  :lulz: Are you trying to be somehow profound about innocence being wise?

HAPPY CHILDREN DANCING IN THE WILDFLOWERS.

AT LOVE CANAL.
Title: Re: The Only Reason I Can Tolerate Discordianism
Post by: CorbeauEtRenard on April 19, 2012, 05:38:14 PM
The moment I started self-identifying as Discordian (rather than just being fond of Discordia without "practicing" it intentionally) was the moment when "Everybody can say something wise and yet everybody's full of shit at the same time." finally clicked, personally.
Title: Re: The Only Reason I Can Tolerate Discordianism
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 19, 2012, 05:38:18 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 19, 2012, 04:51:19 PM
Quote from: Nigel on April 19, 2012, 04:44:21 PM
Quote from: Wolfgang Absolutus on April 19, 2012, 12:33:39 AM
Isn't the concept of wisdom itself childish.

What?  :lulz: Are you trying to be somehow profound about innocence being wise?

HAPPY CHILDREN DANCING IN THE WILDFLOWERS.

AT LOVE CANAL.

:horrormirth:
Title: Re: The Only Reason I Can Tolerate Discordianism
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 19, 2012, 05:39:24 PM
Quote from: Nigel on April 19, 2012, 05:38:18 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 19, 2012, 04:51:19 PM
Quote from: Nigel on April 19, 2012, 04:44:21 PM
Quote from: Wolfgang Absolutus on April 19, 2012, 12:33:39 AM
Isn't the concept of wisdom itself childish.

What?  :lulz: Are you trying to be somehow profound about innocence being wise?

HAPPY CHILDREN DANCING IN THE WILDFLOWERS.

AT LOVE CANAL.

:horrormirth:

If you're gonna have innocent children dancing around all over the place, you'd better have someone with enough wisdom to keep them out of toxic waste dumps, yanno?
Title: Re: The Only Reason I Can Tolerate Discordianism
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 19, 2012, 05:52:00 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 19, 2012, 05:39:24 PM
Quote from: Nigel on April 19, 2012, 05:38:18 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 19, 2012, 04:51:19 PM
Quote from: Nigel on April 19, 2012, 04:44:21 PM
Quote from: Wolfgang Absolutus on April 19, 2012, 12:33:39 AM
Isn't the concept of wisdom itself childish.

What?  :lulz: Are you trying to be somehow profound about innocence being wise?

HAPPY CHILDREN DANCING IN THE WILDFLOWERS.

AT LOVE CANAL.

:horrormirth:

If you're gonna have innocent children dancing around all over the place, you'd better have someone with enough wisdom to keep them out of toxic waste dumps, yanno?

You would think that stands to reason.

The best thing about Love Canal is that there are probably hundreds of similar concealed dump sites that haven't been discovered yet, and won't be until it's too late.

The other best thing about Love Canal is that we're basically still doing this, and the Superfund ran out of money a long time ago.

Humanity; can it learn?
Title: Re: The Only Reason I Can Tolerate Discordianism
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 19, 2012, 05:55:09 PM
Quote from: Nigel on April 19, 2012, 05:52:00 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 19, 2012, 05:39:24 PM
Quote from: Nigel on April 19, 2012, 05:38:18 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 19, 2012, 04:51:19 PM
Quote from: Nigel on April 19, 2012, 04:44:21 PM
Quote from: Wolfgang Absolutus on April 19, 2012, 12:33:39 AM
Isn't the concept of wisdom itself childish.

What?  :lulz: Are you trying to be somehow profound about innocence being wise?

HAPPY CHILDREN DANCING IN THE WILDFLOWERS.

AT LOVE CANAL.

:horrormirth:

If you're gonna have innocent children dancing around all over the place, you'd better have someone with enough wisdom to keep them out of toxic waste dumps, yanno?

You would think that stands to reason.

The best thing about Love Canal is that there are probably hundreds of similar concealed dump sites that haven't been discovered yet, and won't be until it's too late.

The other best thing about Love Canal is that we're basically still doing this, and the Superfund ran out of money a long time ago.

Humanity; can it learn?

NOPE!

SEND IN THE INNOCENT HAPPY DANCING CHILDREN!
Title: Re: The Only Reason I Can Tolerate Discordianism
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 19, 2012, 06:02:00 PM
Now with help from Love Canal, the children have twice as many feet for dancing!

(http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00715/legs1_682_715737a.jpg)
Title: Re: The Only Reason I Can Tolerate Discordianism
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 19, 2012, 06:02:45 PM
Quote from: Nigel on April 19, 2012, 06:02:00 PM
Now with help from Love Canal, the children have twice as many feet for dancing!

(http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00715/legs1_682_715737a.jpg)

See?  Wisdom just gets in the way of progress!
Title: Re: The Only Reason I Can Tolerate Discordianism
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on April 19, 2012, 06:33:22 PM
Are absorbed twins more likely in the presence of toxic whatnot? I always assumed chemical birth defects were more the malformed limbs/cleft palate/brain damage stuff.
Title: Re: The Only Reason I Can Tolerate Discordianism
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 19, 2012, 06:34:46 PM
Um.

What the hell is going on here?  Has everyone taken pedant pills or something?

Title: Re: The Only Reason I Can Tolerate Discordianism
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 19, 2012, 06:52:14 PM
Not dogging on you specifically, QG.  It's just that this is the 4th time today that a running joke has been harpooned by pedantry.

Title: Re: The Only Reason I Can Tolerate Discordianism
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on April 19, 2012, 06:54:55 PM
No worries, I've been on a "ruining jokes with science" kick the last couple weeks. Got to yell at a teacher for anthromorphizing evolutionary processes and everything.
Title: Re: The Only Reason I Can Tolerate Discordianism
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 19, 2012, 06:56:23 PM
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 19, 2012, 06:54:55 PM
No worries, I've been on a "ruining jokes with science" kick the last couple weeks.

I'll keep that in mind.
Title: Re: The Only Reason I Can Tolerate Discordianism
Post by: CorbeauEtRenard on April 19, 2012, 06:58:47 PM
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 19, 2012, 06:54:55 PM
No worries, I've been on a "ruining jokes with science" kick the last couple weeks. Got to yell at a teacher for anthromorphizing evolutionary processes and everything.

There's a furry joke in there somewhere, I just can't quite formulate it in my head...
Title: Re: The Only Reason I Can Tolerate Discordianism
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on April 19, 2012, 07:17:37 PM
(http://www.aljazeera.com/mritems/Images//2010/7/23/201072305919818734_20.jpg)

Here, I brought you a more appropriate picture.
Title: Re: The Only Reason I Can Tolerate Discordianism
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 19, 2012, 07:18:12 PM
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 19, 2012, 07:17:37 PM
(http://www.aljazeera.com/mritems/Images//2010/7/23/201072305919818734_20.jpg)

Here, I brought you a more appropriate picture.

I'll have to take your word for it.  Nannywall.
Title: Re: The Only Reason I Can Tolerate Discordianism
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on April 19, 2012, 07:19:44 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 19, 2012, 07:18:12 PM
I'll have to take your word for it.  Nannywall.

Vietnamese kid w/ no arms. Yay agent orange!
Title: Re: The Only Reason I Can Tolerate Discordianism
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 19, 2012, 08:12:21 PM
Sorry, joke's dead.
Title: Re: The Only Reason I Can Tolerate Discordianism
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 19, 2012, 08:19:25 PM
Oh, was that taken as being passive-aggressive?

MY BAD.

I'll switch to aggressive-aggressive now.  That should fucking work better.
Title: Re: The Only Reason I Can Tolerate Discordianism
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 19, 2012, 08:23:43 PM
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 19, 2012, 06:54:55 PM
No worries, I've been on a "ruining jokes with science" kick the last couple weeks.

I am now on a "ruin everything" kick.  Should last a couple of weeks.
Title: Re: The Only Reason I Can Tolerate Discordianism
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 19, 2012, 10:03:44 PM
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 19, 2012, 06:33:22 PM
Are absorbed twins more likely in the presence of toxic whatnot? I always assumed chemical birth defects were more the malformed limbs/cleft palate/brain damage stuff.

Oh FFS.

:facepalm:

Joke roont.
Title: Re: The Only Reason I Can Tolerate Discordianism
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 19, 2012, 10:05:19 PM
Actually, LG, I would have posted a picture more representative of chemical exposure related birth defects, but a picture of a dead baby with a cleft palate that exposes its brain would have been almost as much of a joke-killer as needless pedantry.