Nigelco would like to congratulate you on your purchase of Herpaderp™, the product that does precisely what it says on the label. We feel that our Personality Reboot Kit exceeds those of all of our competitors in style, function, and judgement-proof warranty exclusions.
A few safety tips:
1. Keep Herpaderp™ away from children, liberatarians, the profoundly retarded, and any other impressionable people that may surround you.
2. Keep Herpaderp™ at least 3 feet away from your face when you activate it, and ensure that you have goggles on. Try not to inhale resulting fumes.
3. It is best to use Herpaderp™ while sitting down. BIG, RED STRAPS are optional, but encouraged.
4. Your new personality may exhibit the urge to watch NASCAR, shop at WalMart, and/or vote for Jesse Kelly (or his analog in your state). This is normal, and the distress this causes will fade. If you develop a need to go bowling, cease using Herpaderp™, and call your doktor at once.
5. Others may react inappropriately to your new personality. This is because they are left-wing fascists that hate you and America™. While we do not encourage the forceful use of Herpaderp™ on them, it IS an idea worth examining. You don't want your spouse - for example - going to hell, do you?
6. Side effects may include prostate cancer, social ineptitude, celibacy, having your job sent to Malaysia, divorce, estrangement from family members, and in rare cases Ayn Rand may be spontaneously stapled to your face.
7. NEVER expose household pets to Herpaderp™. Having your dog suddenly going door to door for Mitt Romney may show proper zeal on your part, but may in fact cause voters to sway left. Goldfish may become too dumb to eat their food, and will devour their own tails. We won't even tell you what cats do. Just trust us.
Herpaderp™, by Nigelco...Your ticket to happiness in the 21st Century.
I slammed my Herpaderp™ in the door 18 times and now it's kind of crushed and doesn't work. I want my money back.
Quote from: Cain on April 23, 2012, 05:26:32 PM
I slammed my Herpaderp™ in the door 18 times and now it's kind of crushed and doesn't work. I want my money back.
Apparently it worked perfectly.
Will nigelco take an iou as payment for herpaderp? I have to spend the rest of my paycheck on the lottery. I have a system.
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on April 23, 2012, 05:34:09 PM
Will nigelco take an iou as payment for herpaderp? I have to spend the rest of my paycheck on the lottery. I have a system.
Easy credit terms are
always available at Nigelco. We believe that you
deserve our product, and we're here to help you get what's coming to you.
Collateral may be required.
I think I may have exposed both my dogs and the neighbor's cat to Herpaderp. The dogs have taken up listening to Rush Limbaugh and that cat is tearing up its owners' Obama sign and leaving it on the doorstep like a dead mouse. What do I do, Doktor?
:lulz:
Quoteand in rare cases Ayn Rand may be spontaneously stapled to your face.
:lulz: So THAT'S what that thing with the neighbors was about!
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on April 23, 2012, 05:55:03 PM
I think I may have exposed both my dogs and the neighbor's cat to Herpaderp. The dogs have taken up listening to Rush Limbaugh and that cat is tearing up its owners' Obama sign and leaving it on the doorstep like a dead mouse. What do I do, Doktor?
We recommend you expose yourself to Herpaderp 1-2 additional times. This won't stop the animals from going batshit, but
you won't care.
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on April 23, 2012, 05:57:50 PM
Quoteand in rare cases Ayn Rand may be spontaneously stapled to your face.
:lulz: So THAT'S what that thing with the neighbors was about!
The Belgian guy is okay, I think, but the wife seems to be addicted to Herpaderp™.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 23, 2012, 05:59:00 PM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on April 23, 2012, 05:57:50 PM
Quoteand in rare cases Ayn Rand may be spontaneously stapled to your face.
:lulz: So THAT'S what that thing with the neighbors was about!
The Belgian guy is okay, I think, but the wife seems to be addicted to Herpaderp™.
Yeah, and now the Belgian guy has to deal with Ayn Rand being stapled to his wife's face. :sad:
Full disclosure: Herpaderp™ was extensively tested in Seguin, Texas.
:spittake: :lulz:
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 23, 2012, 05:35:24 PM
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on April 23, 2012, 05:34:09 PM
Will nigelco take an iou as payment for herpaderp? I have to spend the rest of my paycheck on the lottery. I have a system.
Easy credit terms are always available at Nigelco. We believe that you deserve our product, and we're here to help you get what's coming to you.
Collateral may be required.
You may qualify for government assistance. Every scooter blob at WalMart seems to have a Herpaderp
TM and a rascal scooter. I think there's a voucher program like they had for Digital Teevee Converter Boxes
TM.
Dear Nigelcorp,
I have found that by using Herpaderp™ fifty five times per day on average tends to make me bleed profusely from an hitherto undiscovered body cavity on the back of my neck. What should I do?
Quote from: Waffle Iron on April 23, 2012, 10:04:07 PM
Dear Nigelcorp,
I have found that by using Herpaderp™ fifty five times per day on average tends to make me bleed profusely from an hitherto undiscovered body cavity on the back of my neck. What should I do?
READ THE LABEL.
But, but. I can't. The writing's so SMALL!
KEEP USING IT UNTIL THE HOLE CLOSES.
Quote from: Waffle Iron on April 23, 2012, 10:11:49 PM
But, but. I can't. The writing's so SMALL!
GET BETTER EYEBALLS.
Does Nigelcorp have eyballs for sale?
Does heprderp have any adverse reactions with medication? If so does nigelcorp have a third medication to neutralize the effects so i can have both?
Dear Nigelco,
I have no problems paying for Herpaderp as I have invested in gold, silver and organic seed since I was nine but I wonder if Herpaderp will give me the answers I seek. Every night I turn on all the radios in my house and listen for numbers stations (and George Noory, but I can easily turn him off if/when I hear numbers) and while I have a healthy mistrust in my government (Clinton was a Bonesman and a Bilderberg and so are the entire Prescott Bush family but let's not get into THAT just yet, LOL), I still feel that there are some answers...some wisdom that is eluding me. As I log my final roving watch for the night, note the condition of the lead seals on the MREs and water supply then kick off my crocs (those things are ugly as all get-out but make the BEST EMP-resistant grounding shoes) brush my teeth with my fluoride-free toothpaste and pull the foil and mylar curtain around my faraday cage bunk bed, I can't help but wonder if maybe I'm missing (or have missed) something that can be gradually illuminated through use of this device the same way I haven't gotten sick since I started drinking colloidal silver. Mine is a head that does not rest easy on this nanobot-resistant pillowcase.
Can Herpaderp help me? And furthermore, has Herpaderp been subjected to extensive testing by the Infowars team? Alex Jones says nothing on the subject. I have lost a lot of hair (and I believe my skin is turning blue) over this. Your prompt reply would be appreciated.
Thanks,
Alias
Quote from: Waffle Iron on April 23, 2012, 10:04:07 PM
Dear Nigelcorp,
I have found that by using Herpaderp™ fifty five times per day on average tends to make me bleed profusely from an hitherto undiscovered body cavity on the back of my neck. What should I do?
That body cavity is the former location of your brain, which was driven from your skull with correct usage of Herpaderp™. Continue to apply Herpaderp™ regularly to ensure it does not return until after the opening has scarred over.
HERPADERP has been shown to be effective in reversing lack of teen pregnancy. FDA testing still pending.
If accidentally inhaled or ingested, call your buddies over to film for Youtube and induce vomiting.
FAA regulations require and audible signal before use of HERPADERP in a public area. "Hey y'all watch this", or "Here, hold ma beer." are acceptable examples.
:lulz:
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 23, 2012, 05:23:02 PM
4. Your new personality may exhibit the urge to watch NASCAR, shop at WalMart, and/or vote for Jesse Kelly (or his analog in your state). This is normal, and the distress this causes will fade. If you develop a need to go bowling, cease using Herpaderp™, and call your doktor at once.
Seriously - what's the deal with the Wal-Mart hate? Not the company (although I don't think they're particularly more evil than any other corporation would be if they got the chance), but the people who shop there. Any other day of the week we'd talk about how digitally-manipulated images of unusually thin women are causing real psychic harm to people - but when it's The People Of Wal-Mart it's all "Look at that dumb, fat slob in her Rascal scooter! She's probably a
Republican - doesn't she realize that it's her welfare check that'll get cut when the Jeebus-freaks she votes for get enough power?"
You know who shops at Wal-Mart? People shop at Wal-Mart (as do I, sometimes.) We shop at Wal-Mart because it's cheap (or at least, it has the brand image of being cheap) - certainly cheaper than convenience stores. We shop at Wal-Mart because we have busy lives what with our jobs and children and Weird Hobbies and it's faster and easier (and fuel efficient) to get what we're shopping for in one go. And increasingly, as Wal-Mart drives out the competition, we shop at Wal-Mart because it's the only place
left.
Oddly enough, my neck of the woods in Ohio doesn't have any Wal-Marts that I know of - there seem to be enough ex-national chains making their final stand here to collectively keep the Big Box out. Which meant that when my shower finally clogged to the point that my shower water was waiting for me when I got back from work, I packed it off to Target for some Drano and a drain guard. It was... basically just a slightly more expensive Wal-Mart. Except instead of being stocked with whatever goods they could bully into producing even more cheaply, there was a definite impression that someone had selected all of the various furnishings to go together in two or three styles. Like, someone had just decided that the New Middle Class should select from either brushed metal or vibrant primary and secondary colors for their home style, and be happy with what they got. And their selection wasn't even that good! They only had one model of drain guard, and it doesn't even fit over my drain.
Target is just a Wal-Mart that thinks it is a yuppie/hipster and hates teh gays.
Also you are missing the hyperbole.
Quote from: Golden Applesauce on April 24, 2012, 04:35:07 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 23, 2012, 05:23:02 PM
4. Your new personality may exhibit the urge to watch NASCAR, shop at WalMart, and/or vote for Jesse Kelly (or his analog in your state). This is normal, and the distress this causes will fade. If you develop a need to go bowling, cease using Herpaderp™, and call your doktor at once.
Seriously - what's the deal with the Wal-Mart hate? Not the company (although I don't think they're particularly more evil than any other corporation would be if they got the chance), but the people who shop there. Any other day of the week we'd talk about how digitally-manipulated images of unusually thin women are causing real psychic harm to people - but when it's The People Of Wal-Mart it's all "Look at that dumb, fat slob in her Rascal scooter! She's probably a Republican - doesn't she realize that it's her welfare check that'll get cut when the Jeebus-freaks she votes for get enough power?"
You know who shops at Wal-Mart? People shop at Wal-Mart (as do I, sometimes.) We shop at Wal-Mart because it's cheap (or at least, it has the brand image of being cheap) - certainly cheaper than convenience stores. We shop at Wal-Mart because we have busy lives what with our jobs and children and Weird Hobbies and it's faster and easier (and fuel efficient) to get what we're shopping for in one go. And increasingly, as Wal-Mart drives out the competition, we shop at Wal-Mart because it's the only place left.
Oddly enough, my neck of the woods in Ohio doesn't have any Wal-Marts that I know of - there seem to be enough ex-national chains making their final stand here to collectively keep the Big Box out. Which meant that when my shower finally clogged to the point that my shower water was waiting for me when I got back from work, I packed it off to Target for some Drano and a drain guard. It was... basically just a slightly more expensive Wal-Mart. Except instead of being stocked with whatever goods they could bully into producing even more cheaply, there was a definite impression that someone had selected all of the various furnishings to go together in two or three styles. Like, someone had just decided that the New Middle Class should select from either brushed metal or vibrant primary and secondary colors for their home style, and be happy with what they got. And their selection wasn't even that good! They only had one model of drain guard, and it doesn't even fit over my drain.
If your post starts out with 'seriously' and the OP clearly isn't serious . . . you may need less Herpaderp
(TM) in your diet.
Quote from: Golden Applesauce on April 24, 2012, 04:35:07 AM
Seriously - what's the deal with the Wal-Mart hate? Not the company (although I don't think they're particularly more evil than any other corporation would be if they got the chance), but the people who shop there. Any other day of the week we'd talk about how digitally-manipulated images of unusually thin women are causing real psychic harm to people - but when it's The People Of Wal-Mart it's all "Look at that dumb, fat slob in her Rascal scooter! She's probably a Republican - doesn't she realize that it's her welfare check that'll get cut when the Jeebus-freaks she votes for get enough power?"
Have you ever been to Arizona?
I fell, hindquarters first, onto my activated Herpaderp™ and it inflated my body. Does Nigelco carry any Herpaderp™ models that don't emit helium and are ceiling fan resistant?
Quote from: Net on April 24, 2012, 02:23:55 PM
I fell, hindquarters first, onto my activated Herpaderp™ and it inflated my body.
This is, incidentally, where we got the idea for Herpaderp™, back when we founded this division of the company.
Dear Nigelco.,
The testing of the latest model of Herpaderp™ has been a rousing success. I was approached by not one, but TWO police officers for the simple driving infraction of driving after midnight. One of these police officers was, in fact, an Illinois State Trooper, and so was likely, merely checking up on the local constabulary to assert his superior dominance.
The local grocery mart also saw an increase in business decisions resulting in rock bottom profits and botulism outbreaks, and no less than fifteen cases of radiation poisoning from cigarettes containing 1986 Ukrainian tobacco.
In the political sphere, the mayor once again renewed the exclusive contract with the cable company to be the exclusive provider of high speed internet within city limits, despite the company's lines being notoriously unreliable, and having frequent outages and drops resulting in a lack of accessibility for approximately 55% of the past five months.
Without Wax,
Doktor Phoxula
Quote from: Golden Applesauce on April 24, 2012, 04:35:07 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 23, 2012, 05:23:02 PM
4. Your new personality may exhibit the urge to watch NASCAR, shop at WalMart, and/or vote for Jesse Kelly (or his analog in your state). This is normal, and the distress this causes will fade. If you develop a need to go bowling, cease using Herpaderp™, and call your doktor at once.
Seriously - what's the deal with the Wal-Mart hate? Not the company (although I don't think they're particularly more evil than any other corporation would be if they got the chance), but the people who shop there. Any other day of the week we'd talk about how digitally-manipulated images of unusually thin women are causing real psychic harm to people - but when it's The People Of Wal-Mart it's all "Look at that dumb, fat slob in her Rascal scooter! She's probably a Republican - doesn't she realize that it's her welfare check that'll get cut when the Jeebus-freaks she votes for get enough power?"
You know who shops at Wal-Mart? People shop at Wal-Mart (as do I, sometimes.) We shop at Wal-Mart because it's cheap (or at least, it has the brand image of being cheap) - certainly cheaper than convenience stores. We shop at Wal-Mart because we have busy lives what with our jobs and children and Weird Hobbies and it's faster and easier (and fuel efficient) to get what we're shopping for in one go. And increasingly, as Wal-Mart drives out the competition, we shop at Wal-Mart because it's the only place left.
Oddly enough, my neck of the woods in Ohio doesn't have any Wal-Marts that I know of - there seem to be enough ex-national chains making their final stand here to collectively keep the Big Box out. Which meant that when my shower finally clogged to the point that my shower water was waiting for me when I got back from work, I packed it off to Target for some Drano and a drain guard. It was... basically just a slightly more expensive Wal-Mart. Except instead of being stocked with whatever goods they could bully into producing even more cheaply, there was a definite impression that someone had selected all of the various furnishings to go together in two or three styles. Like, someone had just decided that the New Middle Class should select from either brushed metal or vibrant primary and secondary colors for their home style, and be happy with what they got. And their selection wasn't even that good! They only had one model of drain guard, and it doesn't even fit over my drain.
Unfortunately, the first few doses of Herpaderp™ have little effect other than blocking your hyperbole gland and inducing the early stages of pedantiosis. Use more Herpaderp™ to move beyond these stages and into a more fully developed level of Derp™.
Quote from: Nigel on April 24, 2012, 03:33:19 PM
Quote from: Golden Applesauce on April 24, 2012, 04:35:07 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 23, 2012, 05:23:02 PM
4. Your new personality may exhibit the urge to watch NASCAR, shop at WalMart, and/or vote for Jesse Kelly (or his analog in your state). This is normal, and the distress this causes will fade. If you develop a need to go bowling, cease using Herpaderp™, and call your doktor at once.
Seriously - what's the deal with the Wal-Mart hate? Not the company (although I don't think they're particularly more evil than any other corporation would be if they got the chance), but the people who shop there. Any other day of the week we'd talk about how digitally-manipulated images of unusually thin women are causing real psychic harm to people - but when it's The People Of Wal-Mart it's all "Look at that dumb, fat slob in her Rascal scooter! She's probably a Republican - doesn't she realize that it's her welfare check that'll get cut when the Jeebus-freaks she votes for get enough power?"
You know who shops at Wal-Mart? People shop at Wal-Mart (as do I, sometimes.) We shop at Wal-Mart because it's cheap (or at least, it has the brand image of being cheap) - certainly cheaper than convenience stores. We shop at Wal-Mart because we have busy lives what with our jobs and children and Weird Hobbies and it's faster and easier (and fuel efficient) to get what we're shopping for in one go. And increasingly, as Wal-Mart drives out the competition, we shop at Wal-Mart because it's the only place left.
Oddly enough, my neck of the woods in Ohio doesn't have any Wal-Marts that I know of - there seem to be enough ex-national chains making their final stand here to collectively keep the Big Box out. Which meant that when my shower finally clogged to the point that my shower water was waiting for me when I got back from work, I packed it off to Target for some Drano and a drain guard. It was... basically just a slightly more expensive Wal-Mart. Except instead of being stocked with whatever goods they could bully into producing even more cheaply, there was a definite impression that someone had selected all of the various furnishings to go together in two or three styles. Like, someone had just decided that the New Middle Class should select from either brushed metal or vibrant primary and secondary colors for their home style, and be happy with what they got. And their selection wasn't even that good! They only had one model of drain guard, and it doesn't even fit over my drain.
Unfortunately, the first few doses of Herpaderp™ have little effect other than blocking your hyperbole gland and inducing the early stages of pedantiosis. Use more Herpaderp™ to move beyond these stages and into a more fully developed level of Derp™.
Maybe we need to increase the first two doses?
I mean, I'm a little dumbfounded by that post. It implies that A) I need reasons to hate primates, and B) that someone got offended by me making fun of WalMart.
So maybe we need to DECREASE the first two doses?
Quote from: Nigel on April 24, 2012, 02:39:32 AM
Quote from: Waffle Iron on April 23, 2012, 10:04:07 PM
Dear Nigelcorp,
I have found that by using Herpaderp™ fifty five times per day on average tends to make me bleed profusely from an hitherto undiscovered body cavity on the back of my neck. What should I do?
That body cavity is the former location of your brain, which was driven from your skull with correct usage of Herpaderp™. Continue to apply Herpaderp™ regularly to ensure it does not return until after the opening has scarred over.
Ahh. Good to know. I'll just have to try to cope with mopping up blood and grey matter for awhile.
Heh. Would you imagine that. I thought the damn thing was broken, come to find out, it's been working just fine the whole time! That explains a lot. Thanks Nigelco!
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 24, 2012, 04:15:55 PM
Quote from: Nigel on April 24, 2012, 03:33:19 PM
Quote from: Golden Applesauce on April 24, 2012, 04:35:07 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 23, 2012, 05:23:02 PM
4. Your new personality may exhibit the urge to watch NASCAR, shop at WalMart, and/or vote for Jesse Kelly (or his analog in your state). This is normal, and the distress this causes will fade. If you develop a need to go bowling, cease using Herpaderp™, and call your doktor at once.
Seriously - what's the deal with the Wal-Mart hate? Not the company (although I don't think they're particularly more evil than any other corporation would be if they got the chance), but the people who shop there. Any other day of the week we'd talk about how digitally-manipulated images of unusually thin women are causing real psychic harm to people - but when it's The People Of Wal-Mart it's all "Look at that dumb, fat slob in her Rascal scooter! She's probably a Republican - doesn't she realize that it's her welfare check that'll get cut when the Jeebus-freaks she votes for get enough power?"
You know who shops at Wal-Mart? People shop at Wal-Mart (as do I, sometimes.) We shop at Wal-Mart because it's cheap (or at least, it has the brand image of being cheap) - certainly cheaper than convenience stores. We shop at Wal-Mart because we have busy lives what with our jobs and children and Weird Hobbies and it's faster and easier (and fuel efficient) to get what we're shopping for in one go. And increasingly, as Wal-Mart drives out the competition, we shop at Wal-Mart because it's the only place left.
Oddly enough, my neck of the woods in Ohio doesn't have any Wal-Marts that I know of - there seem to be enough ex-national chains making their final stand here to collectively keep the Big Box out. Which meant that when my shower finally clogged to the point that my shower water was waiting for me when I got back from work, I packed it off to Target for some Drano and a drain guard. It was... basically just a slightly more expensive Wal-Mart. Except instead of being stocked with whatever goods they could bully into producing even more cheaply, there was a definite impression that someone had selected all of the various furnishings to go together in two or three styles. Like, someone had just decided that the New Middle Class should select from either brushed metal or vibrant primary and secondary colors for their home style, and be happy with what they got. And their selection wasn't even that good! They only had one model of drain guard, and it doesn't even fit over my drain.
Unfortunately, the first few doses of Herpaderp™ have little effect other than blocking your hyperbole gland and inducing the early stages of pedantiosis. Use more Herpaderp™ to move beyond these stages and into a more fully developed level of Derp™.
Maybe we need to increase the first two doses?
I mean, I'm a little dumbfounded by that post. It implies that A) I need reasons to hate primates, and B) that someone got offended by me making fun of WalMart.
So maybe we need to DECREASE the first two doses?
Perhaps we should include a packet of AFK™ and instructions to use it for the duration of the application of Herpaderp™.
Quote from: Nigel on April 24, 2012, 05:15:24 PM
Perhaps we should include a packet of AFK™ and instructions to use it for the duration of the application of Herpaderp™.
The instructions I wrote in the OP should have prevented this.
But of course, they ARE using the product, which implies that I should have instead made a video that voiced the instructions over pictures of Justin Beiber and Taylor Swift. With an American flag waving over a box store in the background.
Will Herpaderp prevent the spread of herpes?
More importantly will Herpaderp give me
UNLIMITED DATA?
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on April 24, 2012, 05:26:25 PM
Will Herpaderp prevent the spread of herpes?
More importantly will Herpaderp give me
UNLIMITED DATA?
Well, effectively unlimited data, anyway.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 24, 2012, 04:15:55 PM
Quote from: Nigel on April 24, 2012, 03:33:19 PM
Quote from: Golden Applesauce on April 24, 2012, 04:35:07 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 23, 2012, 05:23:02 PM
4. Your new personality may exhibit the urge to watch NASCAR, shop at WalMart, and/or vote for Jesse Kelly (or his analog in your state). This is normal, and the distress this causes will fade. If you develop a need to go bowling, cease using Herpaderp™, and call your doktor at once.
Seriously - what's the deal with the Wal-Mart hate? Not the company (although I don't think they're particularly more evil than any other corporation would be if they got the chance), but the people who shop there. Any other day of the week we'd talk about how digitally-manipulated images of unusually thin women are causing real psychic harm to people - but when it's The People Of Wal-Mart it's all "Look at that dumb, fat slob in her Rascal scooter! She's probably a Republican - doesn't she realize that it's her welfare check that'll get cut when the Jeebus-freaks she votes for get enough power?"
You know who shops at Wal-Mart? People shop at Wal-Mart (as do I, sometimes.) We shop at Wal-Mart because it's cheap (or at least, it has the brand image of being cheap) - certainly cheaper than convenience stores. We shop at Wal-Mart because we have busy lives what with our jobs and children and Weird Hobbies and it's faster and easier (and fuel efficient) to get what we're shopping for in one go. And increasingly, as Wal-Mart drives out the competition, we shop at Wal-Mart because it's the only place left.
Oddly enough, my neck of the woods in Ohio doesn't have any Wal-Marts that I know of - there seem to be enough ex-national chains making their final stand here to collectively keep the Big Box out. Which meant that when my shower finally clogged to the point that my shower water was waiting for me when I got back from work, I packed it off to Target for some Drano and a drain guard. It was... basically just a slightly more expensive Wal-Mart. Except instead of being stocked with whatever goods they could bully into producing even more cheaply, there was a definite impression that someone had selected all of the various furnishings to go together in two or three styles. Like, someone had just decided that the New Middle Class should select from either brushed metal or vibrant primary and secondary colors for their home style, and be happy with what they got. And their selection wasn't even that good! They only had one model of drain guard, and it doesn't even fit over my drain.
Unfortunately, the first few doses of Herpaderp™ have little effect other than blocking your hyperbole gland and inducing the early stages of pedantiosis. Use more Herpaderp™ to move beyond these stages and into a more fully developed level of Derp™.
Maybe we need to increase the first two doses?
I mean, I'm a little dumbfounded by that post. It implies that A) I need reasons to hate primates, and B) that someone got offended by me making fun of WalMart.
So maybe we need to DECREASE the first two doses?
Herpaderp
TM is shown to cause to cause gaps in logic such as "If anorexic airbrushed images of women are unhealhy, scooterblobs with back boobs, megacolon and elbow flaps are healthy".
Continue taking Herpaderp
TM until you ASPIRE to back boobs, megacolon and elbow flaps.
Quote from: Golden Applesauce on April 24, 2012, 04:35:07 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 23, 2012, 05:23:02 PM
4. Your new personality may exhibit the urge to watch NASCAR, shop at WalMart, and/or vote for Jesse Kelly (or his analog in your state). This is normal, and the distress this causes will fade. If you develop a need to go bowling, cease using Herpaderp™, and call your doktor at once.
Seriously - what's the deal with the Wal-Mart hate? Not the company (although I don't think they're particularly more evil than any other corporation would be if they got the chance)....
Not particularly more evil than who? They're the third largest employer in the world—only the Chinese Military (#2) and the US Dept. of Defense (#1) have more employees than them. I also haven't heard of any other corporation that goes into neighborhoods, temporarily sets prices that are so low that they drive local business to ruin, then jacks up the price after gaining a monopoly in the area.
Oh, and then there's the massive bribery and cover-up that just broke:
www.nytimes.com/2012/04/22/business/at-wal-mart-in-mexico-a-bribe-inquiry-silenced.html?_r=1
Every corporation would do that? Really? Even the Corporation for Public Broadcasting?
Quote from: Net on April 24, 2012, 07:58:44 PM
Quote from: Golden Applesauce on April 24, 2012, 04:35:07 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 23, 2012, 05:23:02 PM
4. Your new personality may exhibit the urge to watch NASCAR, shop at WalMart, and/or vote for Jesse Kelly (or his analog in your state). This is normal, and the distress this causes will fade. If you develop a need to go bowling, cease using Herpaderp™, and call your doktor at once.
Seriously - what's the deal with the Wal-Mart hate? Not the company (although I don't think they're particularly more evil than any other corporation would be if they got the chance)....
Not particularly more evil than who? They're the third largest employer in the world—only the Chinese Military (#2) and the US Dept. of Defense (#1) have more employees than them. I also haven't heard of any other corporation that goes into neighborhoods, temporarily sets prices that are so low that they drive local business to ruin, then jacks up the price after gaining a monopoly in the area.
Oh, and then there's the massive bribery and cover-up that just broke:
www.nytimes.com/2012/04/22/business/at-wal-mart-in-mexico-a-bribe-inquiry-silenced.html?_r=1
Every corporation would do that? Really? Even the Corporation for Public Broadcasting?
Also, not every company studies new ways to deliberately make their employees miserable. Disney and WalMart, as far as I can tell. The other companies just let the misery happen the old-fashioned way.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 24, 2012, 08:25:45 PM
Quote from: Net on April 24, 2012, 07:58:44 PM
Quote from: Golden Applesauce on April 24, 2012, 04:35:07 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 23, 2012, 05:23:02 PM
4. Your new personality may exhibit the urge to watch NASCAR, shop at WalMart, and/or vote for Jesse Kelly (or his analog in your state). This is normal, and the distress this causes will fade. If you develop a need to go bowling, cease using Herpaderp™, and call your doktor at once.
Seriously - what's the deal with the Wal-Mart hate? Not the company (although I don't think they're particularly more evil than any other corporation would be if they got the chance)....
Not particularly more evil than who? They're the third largest employer in the world—only the Chinese Military (#2) and the US Dept. of Defense (#1) have more employees than them. I also haven't heard of any other corporation that goes into neighborhoods, temporarily sets prices that are so low that they drive local business to ruin, then jacks up the price after gaining a monopoly in the area.
Oh, and then there's the massive bribery and cover-up that just broke:
www.nytimes.com/2012/04/22/business/at-wal-mart-in-mexico-a-bribe-inquiry-silenced.html?_r=1
Every corporation would do that? Really? Even the Corporation for Public Broadcasting?
Also, not every company studies new ways to deliberately make their employees miserable. Disney and WalMart, as far as I can tell. The other companies just let the misery happen the old-fashioned way.
WHY ALL THE WAL-MART HATE, DOK? :lol:
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 24, 2012, 08:25:45 PM
Quote from: Net on April 24, 2012, 07:58:44 PM
Quote from: Golden Applesauce on April 24, 2012, 04:35:07 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 23, 2012, 05:23:02 PM
4. Your new personality may exhibit the urge to watch NASCAR, shop at WalMart, and/or vote for Jesse Kelly (or his analog in your state). This is normal, and the distress this causes will fade. If you develop a need to go bowling, cease using Herpaderp™, and call your doktor at once.
Seriously - what's the deal with the Wal-Mart hate? Not the company (although I don't think they're particularly more evil than any other corporation would be if they got the chance)....
Not particularly more evil than who? They're the third largest employer in the world—only the Chinese Military (#2) and the US Dept. of Defense (#1) have more employees than them. I also haven't heard of any other corporation that goes into neighborhoods, temporarily sets prices that are so low that they drive local business to ruin, then jacks up the price after gaining a monopoly in the area.
Oh, and then there's the massive bribery and cover-up that just broke:
www.nytimes.com/2012/04/22/business/at-wal-mart-in-mexico-a-bribe-inquiry-silenced.html?_r=1
Every corporation would do that? Really? Even the Corporation for Public Broadcasting?
Also, not every company studies new ways to deliberately make their employees miserable. Disney and WalMart, as far as I can tell. The other companies just let the misery happen the old-fashioned way.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJwrlF8AzmA
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 25, 2012, 04:13:25 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 24, 2012, 08:25:45 PM
Quote from: Net on April 24, 2012, 07:58:44 PM
Quote from: Golden Applesauce on April 24, 2012, 04:35:07 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 23, 2012, 05:23:02 PM
4. Your new personality may exhibit the urge to watch NASCAR, shop at WalMart, and/or vote for Jesse Kelly (or his analog in your state). This is normal, and the distress this causes will fade. If you develop a need to go bowling, cease using Herpaderp™, and call your doktor at once.
Seriously - what's the deal with the Wal-Mart hate? Not the company (although I don't think they're particularly more evil than any other corporation would be if they got the chance)....
Not particularly more evil than who? They're the third largest employer in the world—only the Chinese Military (#2) and the US Dept. of Defense (#1) have more employees than them. I also haven't heard of any other corporation that goes into neighborhoods, temporarily sets prices that are so low that they drive local business to ruin, then jacks up the price after gaining a monopoly in the area.
Oh, and then there's the massive bribery and cover-up that just broke:
www.nytimes.com/2012/04/22/business/at-wal-mart-in-mexico-a-bribe-inquiry-silenced.html?_r=1
Every corporation would do that? Really? Even the Corporation for Public Broadcasting?
Also, not every company studies new ways to deliberately make their employees miserable. Disney and WalMart, as far as I can tell. The other companies just let the misery happen the old-fashioned way.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJwrlF8AzmA
My un-American
TMism is growing. Is it wrong that I want to burn every Walmart to the ground?
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 24, 2012, 04:15:55 PM
Quote from: Nigel on April 24, 2012, 03:33:19 PM
Unfortunately, the first few doses of Herpaderp™ have little effect other than blocking your hyperbole gland and inducing the early stages of pedantiosis. Use more Herpaderp™ to move beyond these stages and into a more fully developed level of Derp™.
Maybe we need to increase the first two doses?
I mean, I'm a little dumbfounded by that post. It implies that A) I need reasons to hate primates, and B) that someone got offended by me making fun of WalMart.
So maybe we need to DECREASE the first two doses?
I picked up on the hyperbole, I just decided to ignore it. For disco-contrarian purposes.
I'm also not offended. I think "annoyed" would be a little closer to the truth.
It's not even WalMart, for that matter - I'm annoyed because I thought we were
better* than this shallow in-group/out-group Other bashing. I'm well aware that there are lots of tribal-cohesion benefits to picking and winning fights with stereotyped strawmen, and that it's even fun to do occasionally, but (and this might be my Herpaderp kicking in) I'm no longer certain that we're collectively aware of what we're doing and that it's all phatic noise as opposed to social commentary. This thread is obviously hyperbole, but I'm seeing a lot of of ain't-it-awfulling around about those Other people, what with their conservative political views, general ugliness, NASCAR appreciation, flannel shirts, mobility scooters, shopping habits, and Southern accents, all of which somehow go together. It's too easy around here to respond to any given bad thing with "Well, that's White Trash for you."
(*except when we're TAKING IT TO THE WALL or just bored, obviously)
Uhhh...it kinda goes BEYOND flannel shirts and southern accents http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=Hh7xnpNtuq4&feature=endscreen
Quote from: Golden Applesauce on April 26, 2012, 04:00:57 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 24, 2012, 04:15:55 PM
Quote from: Nigel on April 24, 2012, 03:33:19 PM
Unfortunately, the first few doses of Herpaderp™ have little effect other than blocking your hyperbole gland and inducing the early stages of pedantiosis. Use more Herpaderp™ to move beyond these stages and into a more fully developed level of Derp™.
Maybe we need to increase the first two doses?
I mean, I'm a little dumbfounded by that post. It implies that A) I need reasons to hate primates, and B) that someone got offended by me making fun of WalMart.
So maybe we need to DECREASE the first two doses?
I picked up on the hyperbole, I just decided to ignore it. For disco-contrarian purposes.
I'm also not offended. I think "annoyed" would be a little closer to the truth.
It's not even WalMart, for that matter - I'm annoyed because I thought we were better* than this shallow in-group/out-group Other bashing. I'm well aware that there are lots of tribal-cohesion benefits to picking and winning fights with stereotyped strawmen, and that it's even fun to do occasionally, but (and this might be my Herpaderp kicking in) I'm no longer certain that we're collectively aware of what we're doing and that it's all phatic noise as opposed to social commentary. This thread is obviously hyperbole, but I'm seeing a lot of of ain't-it-awfulling around about those Other people, what with their conservative political views, general ugliness, NASCAR appreciation, flannel shirts, mobility scooters, shopping habits, and Southern accents, all of which somehow go together. It's too easy around here to respond to any given bad thing with "Well, that's White Trash for you."
(*except when we're TAKING IT TO THE WALL or just bored, obviously)
So you really have no issues with the fact that Wal-Mart is a horrible, evil company that treats its workers badly and drives other business out through shady tactics, and that it thrives because
we demand it? And, in fact, you have issues with people recognizing and pointing out that fact, because of the "othering" effect of that level of deliberate consciousness?
Okay then. :lulz:
Quote from: Nigel on April 26, 2012, 04:32:47 AM
Quote from: Golden Applesauce on April 26, 2012, 04:00:57 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 24, 2012, 04:15:55 PM
Quote from: Nigel on April 24, 2012, 03:33:19 PM
Unfortunately, the first few doses of Herpaderp™ have little effect other than blocking your hyperbole gland and inducing the early stages of pedantiosis. Use more Herpaderp™ to move beyond these stages and into a more fully developed level of Derp™.
Maybe we need to increase the first two doses?
I mean, I'm a little dumbfounded by that post. It implies that A) I need reasons to hate primates, and B) that someone got offended by me making fun of WalMart.
So maybe we need to DECREASE the first two doses?
I picked up on the hyperbole, I just decided to ignore it. For disco-contrarian purposes.
I'm also not offended. I think "annoyed" would be a little closer to the truth.
It's not even WalMart, for that matter - I'm annoyed because I thought we were better* than this shallow in-group/out-group Other bashing. I'm well aware that there are lots of tribal-cohesion benefits to picking and winning fights with stereotyped strawmen, and that it's even fun to do occasionally, but (and this might be my Herpaderp kicking in) I'm no longer certain that we're collectively aware of what we're doing and that it's all phatic noise as opposed to social commentary. This thread is obviously hyperbole, but I'm seeing a lot of of ain't-it-awfulling around about those Other people, what with their conservative political views, general ugliness, NASCAR appreciation, flannel shirts, mobility scooters, shopping habits, and Southern accents, all of which somehow go together. It's too easy around here to respond to any given bad thing with "Well, that's White Trash for you."
(*except when we're TAKING IT TO THE WALL or just bored, obviously)
So you really have no issues with the fact that Wal-Mart is a horrible, evil company that treats its workers badly and drives other business out through shady tactics, and that it thrives because we demand it? And, in fact, you have issues with people recognizing and pointing out that fact, because of the "othering" effect of that level of deliberate consciousness?
Okay then. :lulz:
Also this.
Pretty much all the other stores are treating their employees like shit too, BTW. Because they "have to keep up with WalMart".
We should never analyze, criticize, or judge the actions of the majority, because that's not nice. We should do the same things they do, because if so many people do the same things, they must be the Right™ things.
With new Herpaderp™, you too can be Right™!
IMMA BUY ALL MY BOOKS AT WALMART FROM NOW ON.
No, fuck books. BIG SCREEN TEEVEE.
I wonder how long I have to eat Great Value Cheese Tater Tots to get back boobs?
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 26, 2012, 04:41:35 AM
I wonder how long I have to eat Great Value Cheese Tater Tots to get back boobs?
As long as it takes :fap:
Quote from: Nigel on April 26, 2012, 04:32:47 AM
So you really have no issues with the fact that Wal-Mart is a horrible, evil company that treats its workers badly and drives other business out through shady tactics, and that it thrives because we demand it? And, in fact, you have issues with people recognizing and pointing out that fact, because of the "othering" effect of that level of deliberate consciousness?
Okay then. :lulz:
I made a rhetorical error then, because I really didn't mean for Wal-Mart itself to be the focal point of this. If you read carefully, nobody was making fun of the (admittedly evil) corporation but the people who occupy this new "I can't believe it's not the middle class" stratum. The existence of Wal-Mart bothers me as much as anyone else here; what I was taking issue with was the "judging people by where they shop" aspect of this (as well as the "judging people by their body, what sports they like, and how they differentiate between 'you' [singular] and 'you' [plural]" parts.)
Especially because, as you've noted, they've driven out a lot of local businesses through shady tactics, meaning that in a lot of places they really are the
best only store in their class left. In those cases, judging people for shopping there is a lot closer to judging them by where they live. Fuck you for not living in a metropolitan area with many redundant retailers!
Quote from: Golden Applesauce on April 26, 2012, 04:00:57 AM
I picked up on the hyperbole, I just decided to ignore it. For disco-contrarian purposes.
Oh, well, then. I am now ignoring the rest of your post...Nay, the rest of all of your posts, for disco-contrarian purposes.
I hope you didn't spend much time typing that.
Quote from: Nigel on April 26, 2012, 04:37:06 AM
We should never analyze, criticize, or judge the actions of the majority, because that's not nice. We should do the same things they do, because if so many people do the same things, they must be the Right™ things.
Nor should you ever explain, because your explanation will be ignored by shitnecks for "disco-contrarian" purposes, so said shitnecks can throw a complete fucking wobbler that has nothing to do with what you actually meant, as they know it involved hyperbole, and they chose to ignore that and then
demand an explanation for what you said, sans hyperbole.
Which is why you should never argue with a fucking goober like Golden Applesauce...There isn't actually an argument. She argues something you never said, and you're trying to defend against Eldoraism.
Not this kid. Fuck that swine, I owe her nothing, least of all an explanation of events as she perceived they happened.
Quote from: Golden Applesauce on April 26, 2012, 01:24:45 PM
Quote from: Nigel on April 26, 2012, 04:32:47 AM
So you really have no issues with the fact that Wal-Mart is a horrible, evil company that treats its workers badly and drives other business out through shady tactics, and that it thrives because we demand it? And, in fact, you have issues with people recognizing and pointing out that fact, because of the "othering" effect of that level of deliberate consciousness?
Okay then. :lulz:
I made a rhetorical error then, because I really didn't mean for Wal-Mart itself to be the focal point of this. If you read carefully, nobody was making fun of the (admittedly evil) corporation but the people who occupy this new "I can't believe it's not the middle class" stratum. The existence of Wal-Mart bothers me as much as anyone else here; what I was taking issue with was the "judging people by where they shop" aspect of this (as well as the "judging people by their body, what sports they like, and how they differentiate between 'you' [singular] and 'you' [plural]" parts.)
Especially because, as you've noted, they've driven out a lot of local businesses through shady tactics, meaning that in a lot of places they really are the best only store in their class left. In those cases, judging people for shopping there is a lot closer to judging them by where they live. Fuck you for not living in a metropolitan area with many redundant retailers!
Making humorous generalizations about the people who choose to shop at Wal-Mart is a rhetorical device. Wanna know who lives in one of those shithole areas where there is little choice? Stella. And SHE gets it just fine. But do go on, wanna-be Protector of the Masses and Defender of the Status Quo. Go on and lull yourself into the idea that, by pedantically picking at a satiricist's rhetorical devices, you are somehow spreading enlightenment and defeating the ingrained us/them dichotomy.
Do you even know who you're talking to? How many threads have I started on the dangers of divisiveness and othering? I have no problems calling out that issue, when it actually exists. I'm glad that you recognize it as a problem that exists, but perhaps you can separate your misguided ramblings from the bandwagon now, they're getting it all sticky and hard to steer.
If YOU actually read carefully, this thread is about a fictional product which, if used regularly, will turn you into a stereotype of the Dumb American Blob.
FOR FUCK'S SAKE.
Quote from: Nigel on April 26, 2012, 03:11:58 PM
If YOU actually read carefully, this thread is about a fictional product which, if used regularly, will turn you into a stereotype of the Dumb American Blob.
FOR FUCK'S SAKE.
Herpaderp™: More effective than
real products!
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 26, 2012, 04:29:18 PM
Quote from: Nigel on April 26, 2012, 03:11:58 PM
If YOU actually read carefully, this thread is about a fictional product which, if used regularly, will turn you into a stereotype of the Dumb American Blob.
FOR FUCK'S SAKE.
Herpaderp™: More effective than real products!
:lulz:
Quote from: Nigel on April 26, 2012, 03:11:58 PM
If YOU actually read carefully, this thread is about a fictional product which, if used regularly, will turn you into a stereotype of the Dumb American Blob.
FOR FUCK'S SAKE.
Dear Nigelco,
As you may remember, I contacted you several days ago with questions regarding your product, specifically, its possible effect on me; an already fed-up Citizen and Patriot
TM who no longer has any illusions that either side of my two-party system is representing anyone but the outright plans for world-domination and our subsequent conversion from free men and women into electronically-controlled chattle whose purpose and survival are only to become servants to and as a power-source to keep the Global Corporate Aristocracy Complex running smoothly. It's well-known but perhaps ignored that we will become little more than cheaply-produced, generic disposable batteries in their Profitability Machine (as you can most likely guess,
I'm going to be voting for Ron Paul again this term). I am dismayed at your lack of response.
I'm guessing that a device such as yours with the ability to "change minds" might be just the thing I seek. As aware and prepared as I already am, I still can't help but wonder what it is I still don't know. And of course, I feel constant frustration that I seem unable to switch on this awareness in others. I have tried to tell the truth to everyone I know and meet, from the nice young lady who is a hapless agent of The Complex at the bank where they unconstitutionally insist on sending my US Marines disability checks (cranial injury, first Gulf War under the Prescott Bush hegemony) to the staff and customers at Don's Gas and Feed (two towns over but they're the last fueling station that doesn't force me to put 10% Ethanol--a Government Corporate Complex conspiracy to kill my car and make me switch to one of their spy-bot "smart cars" within the next 5 years--into my well-oiled Plymouth Skylark). I have even prepared a small informational newsletter for my son's friends who come over to the house to take home to their parents. The secret to how to make people see constantly eludes me.
Aside from my first question about its possible effects on a mind such as mine: a truth-seeker, impervious to the typical lies they tell to distract the unaware from their plans, I would also like to know the following:
1. I'm assuming the device runs on a typical 12-v AC transformer. What, if any, are the threshhold voltages for the device and could these devices reasonably be expected to handle the current under a 6v regulation device (connected to an interrupt, of course)?
2. Is there a known potentiation or synergistic effect when several of the devices are used in conjunction with one another? For instance: assuming the radial coverage from center of a single unit is say, 18in--enough to create a comfortable bubble around a typical human--would the addition of a second unit result in a radius of 3ft? More? Or just a more intense 18in?
3. Likewise, if several bodies are under the influence of a single device, is the maximum potential reduced in proportion to the increased draw?
4. Do these things rely on a voluntary mental status for their efficiacy? I suspect they do not but just to be certain, if an unsuspecting body were to say, walk into the device's peak effect field, would they, themselves be affected?
5. What are your policies concerning reverse-enginering? Do I have to agree to a EULA to power on the device?
6. Do you accept Liberty Dollars? Or must I pay in fiat money?
7. Do you record and retain customer transaction data that may be subpoenad pursuant to Title II, section 215 of the USA Patriot Act?
Please reply as soon as possible. I would like to purchase a gross of these but we can not do business until I am fully informed of the specifications and terms under which we are conducting affairs.
Thank you,
Alias
Durr Nigelco,
Ah'm tarred of votin' fur the wrong asshole. Whill Herpaderp make me vote for the raght asshole? Ah hafty no. Becuz Ah'm tarred of votin' fur the wrong asshole ruther than ther right asshole.
Sinsurly,
Twed
Quote from: navkat on April 26, 2012, 08:57:33 PM
Quote from: Nigel on April 26, 2012, 03:11:58 PM
If YOU actually read carefully, this thread is about a fictional product which, if used regularly, will turn you into a stereotype of the Dumb American Blob.
FOR FUCK'S SAKE.
Dear Nigelco,
As you may remember, I contacted you several days ago with questions regarding your product, specifically, its possible effect on me; an already fed-up Citizen and PatriotTM who no longer has any illusions that either side of my two-party system is representing anyone but the outright plans for world-domination and our subsequent conversion from free men and women into electronically-controlled chattle whose purpose and survival are only to become servants to and as a power-source to keep the Global Corporate Aristocracy Complex running smoothly. It's well-known but perhaps ignored that we will become little more than cheaply-produced, generic disposable batteries in their Profitability Machine (as you can most likely guess, I'm going to be voting for Ron Paul again this term). I am dismayed at your lack of response.
I'm guessing that a device such as yours with the ability to "change minds" might be just the thing I seek. As aware and prepared as I already am, I still can't help but wonder what it is I still don't know. And of course, I feel constant frustration that I seem unable to switch on this awareness in others. I have tried to tell the truth to everyone I know and meet, from the nice young lady who is a hapless agent of The Complex at the bank where they unconstitutionally insist on sending my US Marines disability checks (cranial injury, first Gulf War under the Prescott Bush hegemony) to the staff and customers at Don's Gas and Feed (two towns over but they're the last fueling station that doesn't force me to put 10% Ethanol--a Government Corporate Complex conspiracy to kill my car and make me switch to one of their spy-bot "smart cars" within the next 5 years--into my well-oiled Plymouth Skylark). I have even prepared a small informational newsletter for my son's friends who come over to the house to take home to their parents. The secret to how to make people see constantly eludes me.
Aside from my first question about its possible effects on a mind such as mine: a truth-seeker, impervious to the typical lies they tell to distract the unaware from their plans, I would also like to know the following:
1. I'm assuming the device runs on a typical 12-v AC transformer. What, if any, are the threshhold voltages for the device and could these devices reasonably be expected to handle the current under a 6v regulation device (connected to an interrupt, of course)?
2. Is there a known potentiation or synergistic effect when several of the devices are used in conjunction with one another? For instance: assuming the radial coverage from center of a single unit is say, 18in--enough to create a comfortable bubble around a typical human--would the addition of a second unit result in a radius of 3ft? More? Or just a more intense 18in?
3. Likewise, if several bodies are under the influence of a single device, is the maximum potential reduced in proportion to the increased draw?
4. Do these things rely on a voluntary mental status for their efficiacy? I suspect they do not but just to be certain, if an unsuspecting body were to say, walk into the device's peak effect field, would they, themselves be affected?
5. What are your policies concerning reverse-enginering? Do I have to agree to a EULA to power on the device?
6. Do you accept Liberty Dollars? Or must I pay in fiat money?
7. Do you record and retain customer transaction data that may be subpoenad pursuant to Title II, section 215 of the USA Patriot Act?
Please reply as soon as possible. I would like to purchase a gross of these but we can not do business until I am fully informed of the specifications and terms under which we are conducting affairs.
Thank you,
Alias
I think I love you, navkat. That was brilliant.
Why thank you! I'm glad it didn't slip by unappreciated. :)
Dear Nigelco,
When I first heard about your revolutionary new product I was skeptical at first. But then I looked around and saw how great everyone else thought it was. I figured everyone else can't be wrong, and shortly thereafter acquired my very own Herpaderp™. It opened my eyes to just how great the world is. On fict I jist begun reapling. O csn fel bouth the Herp™ ind teh Derp™ flewing threw mi vaynes. Tyme ta cuch op in al teh grate "Two & a Half Men" episodes I messed be4 I had this grate product. Uh-oh, that didn't last long. I must be building up a tolerance. Off to the Wall-Mart for a Herpaderp™ refill pack.
Love,
Me
Quote from: Insanity on April 30, 2012, 07:57:47 PM
Dear Nigelco,
When I first heard about your revolutionary new product I was skeptical at first. But then I looked around and saw how great everyone else thought it was. I figured everyone else can't be wrong, and shortly thereafter acquired my very own Herpaderp™. It opened my eyes to just how great the world is. On fict I jist begun reapling. O csn fel bouth the Herp™ ind teh Derp™ flewing threw mi vaynes. Tyme ta cuch op in al teh grate "Two & a Half Men" episodes I messed be4 I had this grate product. Uh-oh, that didn't last long. I must be building up a tolerance. Off to the Wall-Mart for a Herpaderp™ refill pack.
Love,
Me
:potd:
Dear Nigelco,
I am writing this to tell you about the late Fridtjof Gunvald Kyrkjebyrkjebakken, a Norwegian farmer who consumed, and had his livestock consume, your product HerpaderpTM extensively for a significant time period. A month ago, he started feeding HerpaderpTM to three of his goats . A couple of hours later, they fled Norway for the United States, where they now are among the leading candidates in the race for the Constitution Party presidential nomination. A few days later he decided to expand the use of HerpaderpTM to the rest of his livestock. His cows soon developed their own economic system based on hay, the so-called hay standard, and they soon all died of hunger because eating it was considered a waste of hay. The horses started an ex-ex-ex-gay clinic, where backsliding ex-gays are guided onto the right path. The hens started laying eggs with a shape remarkably similar to that of Mitt Romney's head, and finally the unmarried 56-year old farmer died yesterday, choking to death on his own drool upon seeing Ron Paul on TV.
Yours,
An anonymous neighbour
P.S. Is HerpaderpTM compatible with a fruitarian diet? I'd love to try out your product, but I don't want to compromise my diet doing so.
You guys are great. :lulz:
HAY HOW DOES THIS HERE THANG WERK?
oh.
HAY VEX!
what it is man! how's the whatever it is i can ask about?
Quote from: v3x on May 01, 2012, 01:10:50 AM
what it is man! how's the whatever it is i can ask about?
Good! Quite good. Glad to see you posting again.
*copy-pasted from the Nigelco Herpaderp Facebook wall*
Dear Nigelco,
This thing is stupid. I can't get it to work. All it does is make me want to check my facebook more and look at stupid shit on YouTube. I get a 10% employee discount at Game Stop so I get all the newest shit for all three systems before you script-kiddies even wake up in the morning and scratch your ass on 4Chan. You obviously don't know how to put out a halfway decent end-product or I'm just too smart for your shit. I just wasted the last $60 of my $250 employee credit-line buying this shit and I'm gonna have to pay it off before I can put the new Limited Edition BlackOps 4-pack controller set on there...unless they suddenly decide to give me a $200 credit increase at work, which I highly DOUBT.
You guys are niggers. I want my fuckin' money back.
-Josh
Quote from: navkat on May 01, 2012, 01:52:41 AM
*copy-pasted from the Nigelco Herpaderp Facebook wall*
Dear Nigelco,
This thing is stupid. I can't get it to work. All it does is make me want to check my facebook more and look at stupid shit on YouTube. I get a 10% employee discount at Game Stop so I get all the newest shit for all three systems before you script-kiddies even wake up in the morning and scratch your ass on 4Chan. You obviously don't know how to put out a halfway decent end-product or I'm just too smart for your shit. I just wasted the last $60 of my $250 employee credit-line buying this shit and I'm gonna have to pay it off before I can put the new Limited Edition BlackOps 4-pack controller set on there...unless they suddenly decide to give me a $200 credit increase at work, which I highly DOUBT.
You guys are niggers. I want my fuckin' money back.
-Josh
:lulz: Brilliant.
And hi Vex!