Or at least my sense of White American Privilege™ feels violated.
You see, I am a huge fan of ethnic food, and I try to sample something new every month. So I went to a Mongolian BBQ with the wife and another couple (Those of you who have been to one of these places are already laughing, and can just FUCK RIGHT OFF).
FIRST: Mongolians don't actually HAVE quisine, other than fermented mare's milk. So what you ACTUALLY get is Thai, Chinese, Korean, etc. No problem...BUT
Second: You have to grab a bowl and go pick out YOUR OWN SHIT.
Listen, this is AMERICA™. It is NOT fucking North Korea. No. When I put my money on the table, I expect a feed bag to be strapped to my face by the wait staff. I do NOT expect to go up and make a royal abortion out of my meal, and then pay DOUBLE what I would have paid at ANY OTHER RESTAURANT.
Third: Chop sticks? REALLY? Look, chop sticks are for eating LITTLE FOOD. I am not here to eat LITTLE FOOD. This is Goddamn AMERICA™, you arse biscuits, and we eat BIG FOOD. Oh, and in the bowl, those chunks of ham were about 1" on a side. But since they are also soaked in ice water, when they're actually COOKED, they're about the size of my thumbnail.
Also, because the lady answering the phone had a badly cleft palate, we assumed she was actually some kind of Mongolian, and numerous difficulties that could have been avoided, weren't. For one thing, it was a CHAIN RESTAURANT (Ghengis Grill), which means they do a special little song...No, scratch that, a special LOUD song for everyone whose birthday it is. Like TGIFridays, or some shit. And there's always one employee who GETS INTO IT. But unlike the Mongols of old, I could not pile rugs on her and then drive horses over the rugs. I feel ripped off. This was BULLSHIT.
Of course, the business model of having your customers make most of the meal pays the company quite well. You can't bitch at them if your food TASTES the way a barnyard SMELLS, because who picked out the ingredients? As for the customers, this model rewards two kinds of people.
1. Stupid/ignorant people (the difference being that ignorant people will only go once), and
2. People who think they can do a better job of ethnic food than the chef.
Lastly, while I didn't actually expect fermented mare's milk, they could have at least offered Eastern stuff. But they didn't. They had about 30 rather standard and overpriced cocktails with tough sounding Mongol names...But I gotta say, slapping a Mongol name on a Blue Moon beer with a shot of cinammon whiskey dropped in it doesn't actually make it a genuine enthic drink. How about a Chai, for fuck's sake? I mean, that's at least EASTERN, right? No dice. I could have a Raspberry Tea or a Dr Pepper though, if I wanted one.
Overall, I rate the Mongolian BBQ Experience (on a scale of 1 to ECH) at an "Enki". There is NO EXCUSE for this shit. Even if they light the grill on fire every 15 minutes. When I go to a restaurant, I want my food prepared by someone who knows what they're doing, and don't need any fucking details.
I mean, if I was WILLING to cook my own food, and I was ABLE to cook my own food, I'd have stayed HOME AND DONE JUST THAT, and saved a bundle.
Or Kill Me.
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
You can't trust Mongols. This is their way of mocking outsiders.
You're meant to throw a huge fit, then slaughter the chef. It's a test and, unfortunately, your restraint is the cause of your failure. No fermented mare's milk, riding steppe ponies and looting the restaurant down the road for you.
:lulz: :lulz:
... heh. an Enki....
hey, next time go to a mongolian place run by some mongolians. there's only one i know of around here, but it's a helluva lot better than ghengis grill.
what's you next cuisine to conquer?
you done the brazilian steakhouse thing yet? that makes you feel like a goddamned 'merican!
Wait, they took your bowl and cooked it for you on a grill?
Over in these parts, they place a huge bucket of boiling broth (which comes in flavors varying from mild chicken to holy-fuck-my-face-is-melting) in front of you on a special table that keeps the broth at a roiling boil for the entire meal. They then give you plates of raw meat and vegetables, which you shove into the boiling liquid until cooked. It's like a cross-contamination festival in an active volcao crater.
I HATE THE MONGOLIAN GRILL.
Dude, MONGOLIAN food. Who the fuck thought that was a good business model?
OH YEAH, THE FAT AMERICAN WHO WAS ALL, YES, SUBURBANITES WILL PAY TWENTY BUCKS TO PILE RAW MEAT IN A BOWL AND WATCH MY MINIMUM-WAGE MEXICAN CHEF GET IT HOT ON THIS SIMPLE COOKING DEVICE.
Brazilian food, on the other hand, is either a terrible joke or a wonderful lie. Gauchos with meat on swords wandering around carving it onto your plates.
jesus! it costs $20 for a bowl of mongolian slop over there?!
:aaa:
Quote from: Elder Iptuous on June 05, 2012, 03:48:52 PM
jesus! it costs $20 for a bowl of mongolian slop over there?!
:aaa:
I thought it did, but I looked it up and it's only $13.50. Still, though.
that's still ridiculously emote worthy.
it's half that down here.
and for all you can eat.
Quote from: Elder Iptuous on June 05, 2012, 04:26:28 PM
that's still ridiculously emote worthy.
it's half that down here.
and for all you can eat.
Well, yeah, but you have to be in Texas.
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 05, 2012, 04:49:49 PM
Quote from: Elder Iptuous on June 05, 2012, 04:26:28 PM
that's still ridiculously emote worthy.
it's half that down here.
and for all you can eat.
Well, yeah, but you have to be in Texas.
true.
wife and i are planning on moving out of TX soon, but then we'll surely miss living without the restaurant density of the metroplex.
I still think AmericaTM DESERVES a Scottish restaurant chain.
This gives me hope. :lol:
In a moment of hilarious synchronicity, there was an email from Groupon for a discount at my local mongolian grill, just now.
I think I'm going to get it. Mostly because it's in a location that's famous for being a drug front.
Quote from: Elder Iptuous on June 05, 2012, 05:07:48 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 05, 2012, 04:49:49 PM
Quote from: Elder Iptuous on June 05, 2012, 04:26:28 PM
that's still ridiculously emote worthy.
it's half that down here.
and for all you can eat.
Well, yeah, but you have to be in Texas.
true.
wife and i are planning on moving out of TX soon, but then we'll surely miss living without the restaurant density of the metroplex.
Are you moving to a land without restaurants?
Christ, the restaurants I went to in Texas were awful. It seems like almost anywhere other than Nebraska would be an improvement.
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on June 05, 2012, 05:10:42 PM
I still think AmericaTM DESERVES a Scottish restaurant chain.
This gives me hope. :lol:
seriously. we have to wait for the Texas Scottish Festival & Highland Games, or the Ren Faire to get any of that poinsonous ambrosia down our gullet?
That is criminal!
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 05, 2012, 05:15:29 PM
Quote from: Elder Iptuous on June 05, 2012, 05:07:48 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 05, 2012, 04:49:49 PM
Quote from: Elder Iptuous on June 05, 2012, 04:26:28 PM
that's still ridiculously emote worthy.
it's half that down here.
and for all you can eat.
Well, yeah, but you have to be in Texas.
true.
wife and i are planning on moving out of TX soon, but then we'll surely miss living without the restaurant density of the metroplex.
Are you moving to a land without restaurants?
Christ, the restaurants I went to in Texas were awful. It seems like almost anywhere other than Nebraska would be an improvement.
really? like they tasted bad, or your gall bladder had just not adjusted to 'accomodate' the texmex yet?
where did you go?
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 05, 2012, 05:15:29 PM
Quote from: Elder Iptuous on June 05, 2012, 05:07:48 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 05, 2012, 04:49:49 PM
Quote from: Elder Iptuous on June 05, 2012, 04:26:28 PM
that's still ridiculously emote worthy.
it's half that down here.
and for all you can eat.
Well, yeah, but you have to be in Texas.
true.
wife and i are planning on moving out of TX soon, but then we'll surely miss living without the restaurant density of the metroplex.
Are you moving to a land without restaurants?
Christ, the restaurants I went to in Texas were awful. It seems like almost anywhere other than Nebraska would be an improvement.
Actually, Omaha has a badass restaurant scene. I'd rate it quite a bit higher than DFW's.
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on June 05, 2012, 05:10:42 PM
I still think AmericaTM DESERVES a Scottish restaurant chain.
This gives me hope. :lol:
Would that mean ... you get ... IRN BRU WITH INFINITE REFILLS??? :eek::1fap:
Quote from: Elder Iptuous on June 05, 2012, 05:19:31 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 05, 2012, 05:15:29 PM
Quote from: Elder Iptuous on June 05, 2012, 05:07:48 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 05, 2012, 04:49:49 PM
Quote from: Elder Iptuous on June 05, 2012, 04:26:28 PM
that's still ridiculously emote worthy.
it's half that down here.
and for all you can eat.
Well, yeah, but you have to be in Texas.
true.
wife and i are planning on moving out of TX soon, but then we'll surely miss living without the restaurant density of the metroplex.
Are you moving to a land without restaurants?
Christ, the restaurants I went to in Texas were awful. It seems like almost anywhere other than Nebraska would be an improvement.
really? like they tasted bad, or your gall bladder had just not adjusted to 'accomodate' the texmex yet?
where did you go?
IMHO it's pretty hit or miss here. You can find decent places through trial and error, but we still have crap like Denny's and mom & pop places where the waitstaff has funny sores and stuff in their hair that might be moving. It's not like they're paid enough to take care of these things.
Quote from: Triple Zero on June 05, 2012, 05:33:03 PM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on June 05, 2012, 05:10:42 PM
I still think AmericaTM DESERVES a Scottish restaurant chain.
This gives me hope. :lol:
Would that mean ... you get ... IRN BRU WITH INFINITE REFILLS??? :eek::1fap:
You'd need SOMETHING to make the haggis go down, yes.
Quote from: Elder Iptuous on June 05, 2012, 05:19:31 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 05, 2012, 05:15:29 PM
Quote from: Elder Iptuous on June 05, 2012, 05:07:48 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 05, 2012, 04:49:49 PM
Quote from: Elder Iptuous on June 05, 2012, 04:26:28 PM
that's still ridiculously emote worthy.
it's half that down here.
and for all you can eat.
Well, yeah, but you have to be in Texas.
true.
wife and i are planning on moving out of TX soon, but then we'll surely miss living without the restaurant density of the metroplex.
Are you moving to a land without restaurants?
Christ, the restaurants I went to in Texas were awful. It seems like almost anywhere other than Nebraska would be an improvement.
really? like they tasted bad, or your gall bladder had just not adjusted to 'accomodate' the texmex yet?
where did you go?
I don't remember, it was some years ago. I was there for a week and everything was fried. That's all I remember, other than that everyone was very fat and wore a lot of makeup.
Quote from: Echo Chamber Music on June 05, 2012, 05:30:07 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 05, 2012, 05:15:29 PM
Quote from: Elder Iptuous on June 05, 2012, 05:07:48 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 05, 2012, 04:49:49 PM
Quote from: Elder Iptuous on June 05, 2012, 04:26:28 PM
that's still ridiculously emote worthy.
it's half that down here.
and for all you can eat.
Well, yeah, but you have to be in Texas.
true.
wife and i are planning on moving out of TX soon, but then we'll surely miss living without the restaurant density of the metroplex.
Are you moving to a land without restaurants?
Christ, the restaurants I went to in Texas were awful. It seems like almost anywhere other than Nebraska would be an improvement.
Actually, Omaha has a badass restaurant scene. I'd rate it quite a bit higher than DFW's.
:lulz: oddly unsurprising.
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 05, 2012, 05:40:40 PM
Quote from: Elder Iptuous on June 05, 2012, 05:19:31 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 05, 2012, 05:15:29 PM
Quote from: Elder Iptuous on June 05, 2012, 05:07:48 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 05, 2012, 04:49:49 PM
Quote from: Elder Iptuous on June 05, 2012, 04:26:28 PM
that's still ridiculously emote worthy.
it's half that down here.
and for all you can eat.
Well, yeah, but you have to be in Texas.
true.
wife and i are planning on moving out of TX soon, but then we'll surely miss living without the restaurant density of the metroplex.
Are you moving to a land without restaurants?
Christ, the restaurants I went to in Texas were awful. It seems like almost anywhere other than Nebraska would be an improvement.
really? like they tasted bad, or your gall bladder had just not adjusted to 'accomodate' the texmex yet?
where did you go?
I don't remember, it was some years ago. I was there for a week and everything was fried. That's all I remember, other than that everyone was very fat and wore a lot of makeup.
Yeah, the three schools of cooking here seem to be TexMex, BBQ and I DON'T CARE WHAT IT IS, CHICKENFRY IT.
yeah. we'll certainly fry up anything we can. (we're one of those states that tries to figure out what bizarre things are capable of being fried every year) Hence the Fat.
but here in DFW you can get just about any ethnic food (decently) you want if you look for it.
granted, i'm not a tremendous connoisseur, so my stamp of 'decent' may not be up to some standards.
NOT THE POINT, PEOPLE.
I PAID MONEY. WHERE IS FOOD.
ah, see. we do excel in quantity here.
you get mongolian here, and you can have a whole yurt full if you have the colon for it.
IN SOVIET USA, IN RESTAURANT YOU PAY TO MAKE FOOD.
YOU TIP GOOD, YOU WASH DISHES
We have some decent bison, bear, and orangutang joints up here. Will ear mark them for your next visit.
Incidentally though, the Prov also has a mongolian joint. My buddy J was visiting and booked us a table, the only entry against the swelling tide of crazed college kids. Funny that college comes up, since that was the approximate quality of the food. Price was fifteen, with the prospect of all you can eat. After your third foray to the grill toting a double armload of their urine sample sized bowls I KNEW they were bullshittting, or advertising wrong. If i wanted judgement of my conduct, I would have gone to the fucking hipster bongo palace.
Another travesty, I had to check my saber and bow at the door. When asked how kwas supposed to deal with the insensible pathics who couldn't decide what they wanted, I was given no satisfactory answer. Would I have accept restricting myself to traditional Mongolian head ball, or wrastling? IT was never made clear. They professed ignorance of both sports.
Then there was the green stuff. Horse food. Leafy bits. There was meat, sure, but the suggestion i consume GRASS shattered any lingering hint of authenticity. Horses eat grass, men eat meat. I folded up my yurt, catapulted a plague corpse through their windows, and rode west, an impudent gaijin cook being pulled after my horse by his big toes.
(Edit: spelling)
:lol: Fucking Richter. :lol:
My spelling sucks on android devices :lulz:
Richter should totally come to Tucson. He would fucking its shit UP.
Richter hasn't been to Tuscon????? WHY?
Quote from: Richter, Baron von on June 07, 2012, 12:42:02 AM
We have some decent bison, bear, and orangutang joints up here. Will ear mark them for your next visit.
Incidentally though, the Prov also has a mongolian joint. My buddy J was visiting and booked us a table, the only entry against the swelling tide of crazed college kids. Funny that college comes up, since that was the approximate quality of the food. Price was fifteen, with the prospect of all you can eat. After your third foray to the grill toting a double armload of their urine sample sized bowls I KNEW they were bullshittting, or advertising wrong. If i wanted judgement of my conduct, I would have gone to the fucking hipster bongo palace.
Another travesty, I had to check my saber and bow at the door. When asked how kwas supposed to deal with the insensible pathics who couldn't decide what they wanted, I was given no satisfactory answer. Would I have accept restricting myself to traditional Mongolian head ball, or wrastling? IT was never made clear. They professed ignorance of both sports.
Then there was the green stuff. Horse food. Leafy bits. There was meat, sure, but the suggestion i consume GRASS shattered any lingering hint of authenticity. Horses eat grass, men eat meat. I folded up my yurt, catapulted a plague corpse through their windows, and rode west, an impudent gaijin cook being pulled after my horse by his big toes.
(Edit: spelling)
:lulz:
I've never been to a Mongolian BBQ. Someone beat me there, and told me it was crap. But can you get Mogolian lamb at these places?
I've actually been to one in my youth, and I enjoyed myself.
But then, I am somewhat a good cook, so I didn't have the problems Roger did...
I am now picturing Richter as a Dothraki.
Send up the WOMP signal! Richter as Khal Drago!
I got a Groupon for two dinners for $12 at the former BBQ drug front that is now a Mongolian grill, promisingly named simply "Mongolian Grill", located at the desolate end of MLK right by Lombard, on the verge of the semi-industrial Columbia BLVD strip. The only way the location could get sketchier is if it were on SE 122nd and Flavel, and frankly I'm not even sure that would do it.
I'm taking EOT. We will give a full report.
Check these glowing reviews! Apparently, they keep it "pretty clean". Plus there's a pic of the sketch BBQ joint. https://plus.google.com/115562239235597157248/about?gl=us&hl=en
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 07, 2012, 04:07:36 PM
I got a Groupon for two dinners for $12 at the former BBQ drug front that is now a Mongolian grill, promisingly named simply "Mongolian Grill", located at the desolate end of MLK right by Lombard, on the verge of the semi-industrial Columbia BLVD strip. The only way the location could get sketchier is if it were on SE 122nd and Flavel, and frankly I'm not even sure that would do it.
I'm taking EOT. We will give a full report.
Check these glowing reviews! Apparently, they keep it "pretty clean". Plus there's a pic of the sketch BBQ joint. https://plus.google.com/115562239235597157248/about?gl=us&hl=en
QuoteThey do a good job of keeping ingredients separate in the buffet line and they have a unique sauce bar where you can mix and create your own sauce. They also use a different spatula for each person's bowl on the grill. This is a HUGE plus compared to other sketch Mongolian places. They don't get your grill neighbors food in your food and it's much safer if you have any allergies. They do have a few food options ready-to-eat under a buffet line but I would suggest you stay clear of these options.
:lol:
QuoteThe hot and sour soup is loaded with onion (which is a good for some, not for others) and skip the white rice.
I wonder what's wrong with the white rice?
How can you mess up white rice to the extent that people are adviced to skip it??
Quote from: Triple Zero on June 07, 2012, 05:52:07 PM
QuoteThe hot and sour soup is loaded with onion (which is a good for some, not for others) and skip the white rice.
I wonder what's wrong with the white rice?
How can you mess up white rice to the extent that people are adviced to skip it??
White rice does not dance in your mouth the way the other kinds do. No, it just sits on your molars saying "I'm waiting for a waltz".
Quote from: Triple Zero on June 07, 2012, 05:52:07 PM
QuoteThe hot and sour soup is loaded with onion (which is a good for some, not for others) and skip the white rice.
I wonder what's wrong with the white rice?
How can you mess up white rice to the extent that people are adviced to skip it??
Like all of the other reviews, it seems positive until you read the little details. Every single review seems to boil down to "It's not
terrible, it's pretty clean, BUT THERE ARE THINGS HERE YOU SHOULD NOT EAT".
And these are the positive reviews. :lulz: There appear to be no negative reviews.
Selected excerpts:
QuoteThey also use a different spatula for each person's bowl on the grill. This is a HUGE plus compared to other sketch Mongolian places. They don't get your grill neighbors food in your food and it's much safer if you have any allergies. They do have a few food options ready-to-eat under a buffet line but I would suggest you stay clear of these options.
QuoteThe hot and sour soup is loaded with onion (which is a good for some, not for others) and skip the white rice. This is a great place to bring a friend.
QuoteThey keep this place pretty clean.
QuoteI would go back if I was in the area.
I am so looking forward to going there!
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 07, 2012, 05:53:23 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on June 07, 2012, 05:52:07 PM
QuoteThe hot and sour soup is loaded with onion (which is a good for some, not for others) and skip the white rice.
I wonder what's wrong with the white rice?
How can you mess up white rice to the extent that people are adviced to skip it??
White rice does not dance in your mouth the way the other kinds do. No, it just sits on your molars saying "I'm waiting for a waltz".
I see!
I once went to a restaurant that tried to serve me legally brown rice. I was like "No, no no no, no no! You better get me the real stuff that's
culturally brown, or I'm going to have to write a vaguely unnerving review on Google Plus!". And you better believe it, for the rest of the meal all things they served me were culturally blackened to a crisp.
Will keep that in mind next time I done out, Trip. :lol:
Why do they call it "sketch" Mongolian?
I assumed they intended to type "sketchy" ?
Quote from: Triple Zero on June 07, 2012, 07:11:29 PM
I assumed they intended to type "sketchy" ?
It does sound pretty sketchy. Needs yurts.
And Richter.
First time I went into a Mongolian grill I didn't understand that I was supposed to let them cook it for me, so I just filled my plate up with raw beef and a few vegetables, sat down, and started eating.
The waitress came over and confiscated my plate, explaining that they needed to cook it first. Even to this day, I never tip the guy behind the grill. I already paid full price for food, I'm not paying you again to cook it for me especially since you won't even let me eat it raw.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on June 07, 2012, 01:06:25 PM
I am now picturing Richter as a Dothraki.
Send up the WOMP signal! Richter as Khal Drago!
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Quote from: Emo Howard on June 07, 2012, 08:20:02 PM
First time I went into a Mongolian grill I didn't understand that I was supposed to let them cook it for me, so I just filled my plate up with raw beef and a few vegetables, sat down, and started eating.
The waitress came over and confiscated my plate, explaining that they needed to cook it first. Even to this day, I never tip the guy behind the grill. I already paid full price for food, I'm not paying you again to cook it for me especially since you won't even let me eat it raw.
:lulz:
So... Last night being my birthday, a few of us went out looking for a simple bite to eat. Richter, Hockey Jake, HJGF, and me. As expected when such things happen, it all ended in tears.
The order was simple, really. A couple plates of chicken fingers (which were just fine) and a couple baskets of loaded french fries. For you spags from less civilized parts of the world, this is a pile of fries loaded with cheese, bacon, and, depending on where you order them, possibly other stuff. In this case, sour cream and scallions. Yummy. It was our first time trying this place, and we quickly found to our dismay that there was a basketball game on... and a number of idiots clad in team shirts occupying half the joint. They were loud. They were drunk. The were obnoxious. Still, we'd been told that the fries were not to be missed, so, we persevered.
Except... The kitchen failed to put the bacon on the fries.
Did I mention Richter was there?
You may read about it in the papers. The television crews were turned away by the police line three blocks away. As one might imagine, his wrath was legendary. He arose from the table, sauntered out to the car... and returned with implements of destruction.
Hockey Jake, being a goalie, was granted the use of a polearm, in order to guard the door, and knock potential escapees back into play. HJGF and I, being the delicate flowers we are, were seated on the bar, for a vantage point from which to witness the carnage, as well as a nearly unlimited supply of beer bottles with which to brain those too focused on the men to pay proper attention to their surroundings.
Richter started, as was proper, with the basketball morons. As the yelling and screaming was taken by the rest of the place by a bad play, the first few moments were uninterrupted. Then, the waitress screamed, and it all got a little hazy, after that.
They say they got the fire out, this morning, mostly, except for the kitchen. The firefighters can't figure why, but they can't get it out, and have cordoned off the surrounding three blocks, unsure if it's going to attempt to eat the entire city again. The cook was never found. There are witness reports of a glowing red portal opening on the floor and swallowing him whole, but that's just too much beer and excitement happening, of course.
Best birthday ever.
:lulz:
At first I was like wow those fries sound amazing, like poutine but less deadly. And then ... :eek::1fap:
BTW chicken fingers, are they made from actual battered strips of chicken breast (good), or are they made out of chick-separator-pulp? How do you call that machine in English? You know when the females go in the battery cage, the young male chicks go into this device that's like a mouse trap with blades and then SLAP! BANG! and you get three neat piles of bones, feathers and separated chicken half-product. Which is not as tasty.
The fries are amazing, especially when done correctly. (And the above post was written before rolling out of bed, before I was even really awake. I am debating the wisdom of leaving the netbook within reach of the bed.)
The chicken fingers were strips of chicken breast, very good. Honey mustard dipping sauce, and a spicy house sauce.
Having seen Andrew Zimmern (Bizarre Foods) eat Mongolian cuisine... I don't imagine the real stuff would go over well with Americans.
Whole sheep's head... or sheep heads boiled down into jello... Goat organs wrapped in intestines... Rotten butter inside a cow's stomach...
I didn't see a single "pick the ingredients yourself and we'll fry them on a hot chunk of iron" dish.
Bad shtick is bad, worse when its sold as 'ethnic'.
Since none of you fuckers stepped up, I give you this:
(https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-3MItzgBZrMM/T9IEy-D9RoI/AAAAAAAAAi0/8VKaTWzAw3g/s726/12+-+1)
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on June 08, 2012, 02:58:29 PM
Since none of you fuckers stepped up, I give you this:
(https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-3MItzgBZrMM/T9IEy-D9RoI/AAAAAAAAAi0/8VKaTWzAw3g/s726/12+-+1)
:eek:
:fap:
(The terrifying thing is that is the exact same shot I grabbed to WOMP Richter into, just hadn't finished, cause I was doing birthday stuff.)
Quote from: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on June 08, 2012, 02:03:36 PM
Having seen Andrew Zimmern (Bizarre Foods) eat Mongolian cuisine... I don't imagine the real stuff would go over well with Americans.
Whole sheep's head... or sheep heads boiled down into jello... Goat organs wrapped in intestines... Rotten butter inside a cow's stomach...
I didn't see a single "pick the ingredients yourself and we'll fry them on a hot chunk of iron" dish.
Bad shtick is bad, worse when its sold as 'ethnic'.
Real Mongolian food sounds pretty tasty. Dumplings and stews and barley porridge and things like that.
I read somewhere that American-style "Mongolian BBQs" actually have their origin in a particular style of Japanese grilled cuisine.
Fermented mare's milk with blood mixed in the only authentic Mongolian food. Everything else was taken, by force, from its previous owners.
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 08, 2012, 03:09:42 PM
Quote from: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on June 08, 2012, 02:03:36 PM
Having seen Andrew Zimmern (Bizarre Foods) eat Mongolian cuisine... I don't imagine the real stuff would go over well with Americans.
Whole sheep's head... or sheep heads boiled down into jello... Goat organs wrapped in intestines... Rotten butter inside a cow's stomach...
I didn't see a single "pick the ingredients yourself and we'll fry them on a hot chunk of iron" dish.
Bad shtick is bad, worse when its sold as 'ethnic'.
Real Mongolian food sounds pretty tasty. Dumplings and stews and barley porridge and things like that.
I read somewhere that American-style "Mongolian BBQs" actually have their origin in a particular style of Japanese grilled cuisine.
It seems quite a bit like the 'Japanese Steakhouse' places... though the Japanese owners of one place I frequented said it was very much a Japanese/American invention.
I believe the 'Mongolian' aspect came from the Mongol soldiers cooking style centuries ago. According to legend/history (one or the other or both) they would place their shield on the fire, and use their sword/dagger to chop and cook the meat on the hot shield.
Quote from: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on June 09, 2012, 12:39:29 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 08, 2012, 03:09:42 PM
Quote from: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on June 08, 2012, 02:03:36 PM
Having seen Andrew Zimmern (Bizarre Foods) eat Mongolian cuisine... I don't imagine the real stuff would go over well with Americans.
Whole sheep's head... or sheep heads boiled down into jello... Goat organs wrapped in intestines... Rotten butter inside a cow's stomach...
I didn't see a single "pick the ingredients yourself and we'll fry them on a hot chunk of iron" dish.
Bad shtick is bad, worse when its sold as 'ethnic'.
Real Mongolian food sounds pretty tasty. Dumplings and stews and barley porridge and things like that.
I read somewhere that American-style "Mongolian BBQs" actually have their origin in a particular style of Japanese grilled cuisine.
It seems quite a bit like the 'Japanese Steakhouse' places... though the Japanese owners of one place I frequented said it was very much a Japanese/American invention.
I believe the 'Mongolian' aspect came from the Mongol soldiers cooking style centuries ago. According to legend/history (one or the other or both) they would place their shield on the fire, and use their sword/dagger to chop and cook the meat on the hot shield.
That just sounds retarded, but gives me an idea for a theme restaurant in which you cook rice in a sweaty kabuto.
Quote from: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on June 09, 2012, 12:39:29 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 08, 2012, 03:09:42 PM
Quote from: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on June 08, 2012, 02:03:36 PM
Having seen Andrew Zimmern (Bizarre Foods) eat Mongolian cuisine... I don't imagine the real stuff would go over well with Americans.
Whole sheep's head... or sheep heads boiled down into jello... Goat organs wrapped in intestines... Rotten butter inside a cow's stomach...
I didn't see a single "pick the ingredients yourself and we'll fry them on a hot chunk of iron" dish.
Bad shtick is bad, worse when its sold as 'ethnic'.
Real Mongolian food sounds pretty tasty. Dumplings and stews and barley porridge and things like that.
I read somewhere that American-style "Mongolian BBQs" actually have their origin in a particular style of Japanese grilled cuisine.
It seems quite a bit like the 'Japanese Steakhouse' places... though the Japanese owners of one place I frequented said it was very much a Japanese/American invention.
I believe the 'Mongolian' aspect came from the Mongol soldiers cooking style centuries ago. According to legend/history (one or the other or both) they would place their shield on the fire, and use their sword/dagger to chop and cook the meat on the hot shield.
That sounds 100% made up for various practical reasons, including that even after they started making shields out of iron, the strapping was still leather.
Quote from: Guru Quixote on June 09, 2012, 08:07:09 PM
Quote from: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on June 09, 2012, 12:39:29 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 08, 2012, 03:09:42 PM
Quote from: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on June 08, 2012, 02:03:36 PM
Having seen Andrew Zimmern (Bizarre Foods) eat Mongolian cuisine... I don't imagine the real stuff would go over well with Americans.
Whole sheep's head... or sheep heads boiled down into jello... Goat organs wrapped in intestines... Rotten butter inside a cow's stomach...
I didn't see a single "pick the ingredients yourself and we'll fry them on a hot chunk of iron" dish.
Bad shtick is bad, worse when its sold as 'ethnic'.
Real Mongolian food sounds pretty tasty. Dumplings and stews and barley porridge and things like that.
I read somewhere that American-style "Mongolian BBQs" actually have their origin in a particular style of Japanese grilled cuisine.
It seems quite a bit like the 'Japanese Steakhouse' places... though the Japanese owners of one place I frequented said it was very much a Japanese/American invention.
I believe the 'Mongolian' aspect came from the Mongol soldiers cooking style centuries ago. According to legend/history (one or the other or both) they would place their shield on the fire, and use their sword/dagger to chop and cook the meat on the hot shield.
That just sounds retarded, but gives me an idea for a theme restaurant in which you cook rice in a sweaty kabuto.
:lulz:
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 09, 2012, 09:59:17 PM
Quote from: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on June 09, 2012, 12:39:29 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 08, 2012, 03:09:42 PM
Quote from: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on June 08, 2012, 02:03:36 PM
Having seen Andrew Zimmern (Bizarre Foods) eat Mongolian cuisine... I don't imagine the real stuff would go over well with Americans.
Whole sheep's head... or sheep heads boiled down into jello... Goat organs wrapped in intestines... Rotten butter inside a cow's stomach...
I didn't see a single "pick the ingredients yourself and we'll fry them on a hot chunk of iron" dish.
Bad shtick is bad, worse when its sold as 'ethnic'.
Real Mongolian food sounds pretty tasty. Dumplings and stews and barley porridge and things like that.
I read somewhere that American-style "Mongolian BBQs" actually have their origin in a particular style of Japanese grilled cuisine.
It seems quite a bit like the 'Japanese Steakhouse' places... though the Japanese owners of one place I frequented said it was very much a Japanese/American invention.
I believe the 'Mongolian' aspect came from the Mongol soldiers cooking style centuries ago. According to legend/history (one or the other or both) they would place their shield on the fire, and use their sword/dagger to chop and cook the meat on the hot shield.
That sounds 100% made up for various practical reasons, including that even after they started making shields out of iron, the strapping was still leather.
Obviously. In fact, as far as I know this legend exists only in Mongolian BBQ's.
It reminds me of the story of how kebab was invented... The Persians claim it was because their soldiers cooked small pieces of meat on their swords over a fire. Also the story that Steak Tartare was invented by the Tartar soldiers who put tough cuts of meat under their saddle before they went out for the day, then had a nicely tenderized piece of meat for the evening meal... becuase tenderizing meat using your ass and your horses ass seems yummy to me.
:?
ETA: Also, Wiki covers the origin of Mongolian BBQ: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mongolian_barbecue
QuoteAlthough Mongolian barbecue first appeared in Taipei in 1951[5], the stir-frying of meats on a large, open surface is supposed to evoke Mongolian foods and Mongolian traditions. The preparation can also derive from Japanese-style teppanyaki, which was popular in Taiwan at the time. The very first Mongolian Barbecue restaurant (Gengis Khan Mongolian BBQ) was opened in 1976, and was located in downtown Taipei, Taiwan.
American restaurants such as HuHot Mongolian Grill and BD's Mongolian Grill claim that soldiers of the Mongol Empire gathered large quantities of meats, prepared them with their swords and cooked them on their overturned shields over a large fire.[6][7] A German restaurant chain with the same concept claims that the Mongolian soldiers cooked their meals on a heated stone.
Inspired by Roger, a serendipitous Groupon, and the eternal allure of questionable food, E.O.T. and I went to the mongolian grill down MLK last night.
It was... an experience. I kind of understand the reviews now.
Nigel, tell us a story! Tell us about the time you went to a questionable Mongolian grill!
*rapt attention*
We walk into the place and there's the unmistakable tang of cleanser in the air. It is, as many reviewers state, very clean. Very. Clean. A small herd of fat Europeans waits for a table, but before long we are handed two plastic cups and directed to a two-seater near one of the many large windows. We fill our cups with our soda fountain beverages of choice, and place them on our table.
I notice that the building appears to have once been a Tastee Freez.
We go to the back of the ingredients line and snag bowls. The food is unassuming, but quite fresh. The meats are clearly purchased frozen, already thinly sliced. I select beef, squid, and shrimp, and soon require a second bowl as the first is overflowing. We move to the sauce line, which contains exactly the same everything I've seen in previous visits to Mongolian grills, the last of which must have been twenty years ago.
I sauce the shit out of everything. E.O.T. follows suit.
They slap the shit on the grill, a couple minutes later it's done and we eat. We even sample a couple of items from the very limited pre-cooked selection. Pretty decent, actually. Not bad at all, especially not for $12 for two all-you-can-eat meals. I look around and notice that everyone in here is really fat.
We finish our first plates and head back to the line like good little pre-fat Americans. The surly Latin-American chefs seem to be struggling a bit, but it's not clear why, exactly. They hand us our food and here's where we run into the only real problem we have; they have run out of Mongolian sauce. We want Mongolian sauce. We aren't totally clear on what the fuck it is, but we want it. And then we realize that they have also run out of wilverware. What the fuck kind of restaurant runs out of silverware? And why do there appear to be only three employees in the whole place? The cook who took the empty Mongolian sauce bottle into the back has not reappeared and we are becoming impatient. How long does it take to refill a plastic squeeze bottle? Why the shit do they only have one bottle of this stuff, and it's at the grill, and not on every table? Jesus fuck! Finally, more silverware materializes, and is just sort of slapped down in the dishwasher tray because apparently they're too busy to put it away. Forlorn about the lack of Mongolian sauce, we get forks and go back to our table to pick despondently at our food, and just then the cook reappears with the bottle. Finally properly condimentized, we once more return to our table and gorge.
Our bellies distended with all-you-can-eat meats and vegetables, our last act was to get a dish of the soft-serve and "chocolate" syrup. It is not entirely clear whether the soft-serve is made of an actual dairy product, but it's definitely not ice cream. Not terrible. Not something I will willingly put into my mouth a second time.
Engorged, we depart. It is now clear to me why the reviews are overwhelmingly positive while simultaneously glowing with faint praise like "It's clean" and "Avoid the white rice". This is food that is not great, but is hard to complain about. This is all you can eat. We paid six bucks a plate.
This is America.
Fuck yeah.
All the bland stuff you can shove in your face for less than $10, and UNLIMITED DATA.
That's fucking AMERICA, right there. Also, your retailer for that unlimited data must sweet talk you and kiss your ass to get the purchase you already know you want, or the experience is RUINED. Same thing with the food. It must be JUST SO (which has nothing to do with quality, and everything to do with INDULGE MY WHIMS) or they have ROBBED YOU.
I hate it when I look around a restaurant and every single customer is really fat. It makes me feel like I need to GTFO. NOW. Before I get those hanging blobs on my legs. :x
Nigel's experience made me laugh a bit, then THINK a bit, which is NEVER GOOD. And what I thought was that even the Americans with the understanding that our disposable culture and TOO MUCH CRAP FOOD is something toxic, most often only understand that it is toxic to them personally, without considering that it's the same to the rest of the world.
This is due to our media depicting the rest of the world as a bunch of shoeless morons living in mud huts and fleeing floods with baskets of kittens on their heads, or students throwing molotov cocktails in obscure Asian locations.
This is due to a lack of exposure to the rest of the world, by being isolated and brainwashed by media, that shows the rest of the world as incapable children. The truth is, Most Americans are grindingly, pathetically provincial and cling desperately to ideology that they believe has to work in loud opposition to something, anything, so they don't feel like a sheep in a pen maintained by wolves, which is of course what they are.
As a matter of fact, many Americans believe that if you aren't loud and domineering, nobody will pay attention to you and someone will eventually wander over and take everything you have without your say in the matter. This is because, in effect, the government, or someone with enough money, CAN do this while everyone turns a blind eye and keeps their nose to the ground. This is why they turn to blaming other socioeconomic, religious, and racial groups for their ills, instead of the big faceless money, as a coping mechanism that keeps the heat off the real enemies and the problems within understanding. This is why they have guns and are afraid of their neighbors, and shoot Black kids for no discernable reason.
Most Americans are used to a massive amount of market competition in the act of selling CRAP. Therefore they market the hell out of CRAP until you are psychically exhausted and spiritually drained by a bombardment of media advertising, and by the time you get to the retail outlet that sells this CRAP at the lowest advertised price, brainwashed into believing that you desperately need this item, you get to a minimum wage salesperson who is required to spend massive amounts of time following you around with toilet paper to wipe your arse, if only you would buy some CRAP. This is why, overseas, Americans get pissed off when they demand exclusive attention and service for a prolonged period of time, and are denied..And then mortally offended when a salesperson refuses to have the life sucked out of them by Americans who think it's a massive philanthropic favor to buy the CRAP from them. Whereas, everyone else in the world merely goes to buy CRAP from the closest store when they actually feel that they need it, with no fuss or bother.
Most Americans have to pay for all their medical insurance and expenses. As getting work requires education, they have to get huge government loans to go to college, and because of this, by the time they are 21 the culture and government has made sure that they are in massive debt in the tens of thousands. This effectively prevents Americans from immigrating anywhere, and also why the smart ones are often grim and shy while on vacation outside of their own country, unless they are hawing and yelling amongst their own. They know they're fucked. This is why they're very willing to convince themselves that they're #1 and that the rest of the world is out to get them. Most Americans who understand their own quandary are the real patriots, however, by the time they understand this, they hole up in the countryside, leave, or file Chapter 11 and check into the funny farm because it's too late to imagine having a zero balance ANYWHERE.
And this is precisely why Americans are arse biscuits.
WE LIVE HERE FOR THE FREEDOM :x
They've got us by the balls, and they have us terrified of economic collapse because HOW WILL WE PAY OUR MORTGAGE AND OUR STUDENT LOANS AND OUR CREDIT CARD BILLS?
The thing is, collapse is the only thing that might potentially get us out of this shit. If a large percentage of the population opted out, we would have THEM by the balls. Stopped paying back loans, and stopped buying crap that isn't actually necessary. It wouldn't take a month. It would hurt the little guys, but it would devastate the big guys.
It would be worth the hurt to pull that off.
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on June 13, 2012, 09:40:20 PM
It would be worth the hurt to pull that off.
Absolutely.
It's pretty low-risk, too. People get late on payments all the time, and all that happens is they get charged late fees.
Get a few million people to all deliberately be late at once, and refrain from buying stuff, and the whole system goes tits-up practically overnight.
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 13, 2012, 09:43:56 PM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on June 13, 2012, 09:40:20 PM
It would be worth the hurt to pull that off.
Absolutely.
It's pretty low-risk, too. People get late on payments all the time, and all that happens is they get charged late fees.
Get a few million people to all deliberately be late at once, and refrain from buying stuff, and the whole system goes tits-up practically overnight.
What's preventing this from happening?
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 13, 2012, 09:43:56 PM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on June 13, 2012, 09:40:20 PM
It would be worth the hurt to pull that off.
Absolutely.
It's pretty low-risk, too. People get late on payments all the time, and all that happens is they get charged late fees.
Get a few million people to all deliberately be late at once, and refrain from buying stuff, and the whole system goes tits-up practically overnight.
Yep.
If you owe the bank $10,000, that's your problem. If you owe the bank $10,000,000,
that's the bank's problem.
Quote from: Net on June 13, 2012, 10:02:28 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 13, 2012, 09:43:56 PM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on June 13, 2012, 09:40:20 PM
It would be worth the hurt to pull that off.
Absolutely.
It's pretty low-risk, too. People get late on payments all the time, and all that happens is they get charged late fees.
Get a few million people to all deliberately be late at once, and refrain from buying stuff, and the whole system goes tits-up practically overnight.
What's preventing this from happening?
Collective Risk Aversion. The average monkey sees the short term over the long term.
I mean, if it was that easy to change behavior, there would be no man-made global warming.
In other words, EVERYTHING DEFAULTS TO MAIN.
Quote from: Net on June 13, 2012, 10:02:28 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 13, 2012, 09:43:56 PM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on June 13, 2012, 09:40:20 PM
It would be worth the hurt to pull that off.
Absolutely.
It's pretty low-risk, too. People get late on payments all the time, and all that happens is they get charged late fees.
Get a few million people to all deliberately be late at once, and refrain from buying stuff, and the whole system goes tits-up practically overnight.
What's preventing this from happening?
Nothing at all. In fact, it should happen now. All that needs to happen is for the word to get out, for a month to be chosen (any month but December, really; too much cultural pull to buck Christmas) and for enough people to not be afraid to participate. The world won't stop. We won't be cast into mayhem, which is what the 1% want people to think. There will simply be a brief and dramatic restructuring, and all of a sudden the people who were on top won't be on top anymore, while the people on the bottom will suddenly find themselves released from the crushing pressure of debt.
They can declare a state of emergency, but they can't actually MAKE us shop or pay our bills on time.
And your neighbors don't even have to know. It's a completely silent, invisible protest. In order for the system that fucks us over to continue to function, it requires that we buy into it. But we don't have to.
This is so simple, it's fucking BRILLIANT. :)
Shouldn't be hard to get people not to make payments, most people have trouble doing that anyway. The only snag I can see is getting them not to BUY STUFFTM.
EVERYTHING DEFAULTS TO MAIN.
He repeated.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on June 14, 2012, 12:49:07 AM
Quote from: Net on June 13, 2012, 10:02:28 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 13, 2012, 09:43:56 PM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on June 13, 2012, 09:40:20 PM
It would be worth the hurt to pull that off.
Absolutely.
It's pretty low-risk, too. People get late on payments all the time, and all that happens is they get charged late fees.
Get a few million people to all deliberately be late at once, and refrain from buying stuff, and the whole system goes tits-up practically overnight.
What's preventing this from happening?
Collective Risk Aversion. The average monkey sees the short term over the long term.
I mean, if it was that easy to change behavior, there would be no man-made global warming.
In other words, EVERYTHING DEFAULTS TO MAIN.
But there is also the issue of dependents. It's easy to risk when it is just you, but when there are others under your roof as well, the primal directive to provide kicks in.
Minimal risk to participants, in the form of late fees and a late pay blip in your file (and that only if it didn't work). Mortgage payments aren't usually even recorded as late in your credit record unless they're over 30 days past due.
It wouldn't take 30 days, if enough people participated. And if they don't... you still have your money, you pay your bills with it, everything returns to business as usual.
There is a grain of a point in RWHN's argument, but I think the "primal directive to provide" is a lot more different than buying MOAR STUFF. So much shit is shoved into our face while advertisements scream "FUCKING BUY THIS, YOU NEED THIS, YOUR CHILDREN NEED THIS, YOUR CHILDREN'S CHILDREN WILL NEED THIS, YOU ARE FUCKINGED FOREVER IF YOU DONT BUY THIS" and it's borked people's sense of what they need.
That definitely is true.
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on June 05, 2012, 05:10:42 PM
I still think AmericaTM DESERVES a Scottish restaurant chain.
This gives me hope. :lol:
it would be GLORIOUS. I love me some haggis. Not so sure about deep-fried Mars bars tho.