Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: Freeky on June 15, 2012, 05:10:35 PM

Title: The Pied Piper of Tucson
Post by: Freeky on June 15, 2012, 05:10:35 PM
So there was this guy, you know, back in the sixties.  He was like any other Tucson teenager; cruising up and down Speedway, dating all the hot chicks, being personable and making friends, being curious about the world.  Wanting to know stuff.  More on that in a minute.

When I say he was personable, well, that doesn't quite cut it. 
He was totally charismatic.  Such a charmer! 
I can just see him now, pulling up to some hotties, being all,
"Hey lady, hey lady! Honey girl, you so fine. 
Don't you wanna, you know you wanna,
don't you wanna be mine?"
And they'd blush, and they'd giggle, and bat their eyelashes. 
His sweet talking self made them damp all in flashes. 
They hopped in his car, he drove away,
they fucked like bunnies, I'm sure.  Up until the day

He wondered.

This dude had his girl talk another girl up. 
Why this one, not that one, one never can tell. 
This guy had his girl tell the other one some dude liked her. 
Convinced her to go on a date. 

Told her he said, "Hey lady, hey lady!  Honey girl, you so fine. 
Don't you wanna, you know you wanna,
don't you wanna be mine?" 
She blushed, and she giggled. 
She cast her eyes down. 
But that sparkle in her eye soon turned dull as stone. 

The boy pulled up in his car, and he said, "Don't delay! 
Your date says to hurry.  Don't you worry 'bout bein' late! 
We'll pick him up, and I'll drop you guys off,"
his wolf eyes did glitter b'hind reflectors
             he refused to take off. 

He picked up his friend, and they drove off to the Empty. 
The girl must have begun to feel fidgety. 
"Hey lady, hey lady!" the boy said with a grin. 
             "I been wondering so long. 
What must it be like to end some other one's song?"

She lay in the desert, not really there anymore. 
She left a mother and father behind, and they mourned.

The boy, feeling pride, did decide to confide. 
Another of his girls in which to confide he did decide. 
Eventually, though,
bored of her he did grow. 

"Hey lady, hey lady.  I don't think you're so fine. 
I no longer want you, honey girl, to be mine." 
Gretchen grew angry, or so people did say. 
"You can't leave me.  I know things.  If you do, then you'll pay!" 


Well, what could he do?  She had pushed him too far. 
Poor Gretchen, and her sister, both fell in the trunk of his car. 

They, too, became fodder for Tucson's big Empty. 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Schmid
Title: Re: The Pied Piper of Tucson
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 15, 2012, 05:45:29 PM
Well-written... request that you edit it into ballad format?
Title: Re: The Pied Piper of Tucson
Post by: Freeky on June 15, 2012, 05:48:40 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 15, 2012, 05:45:29 PM
Well-written... request that you edit it into ballad format?

Sure.  Is that like in stanzas?
Title: Re: The Pied Piper of Tucson
Post by: Freeky on June 15, 2012, 06:01:11 PM
Is that it? 



Note to self: It needs tweaking so it is all like a ballad poem thing.
Title: Re: The Pied Piper of Tucson
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 15, 2012, 06:04:13 PM
Yes, like that! It works so well that way!
Title: Re: The Pied Piper of Tucson
Post by: Freeky on June 15, 2012, 06:08:31 PM
And it looks pretty, too.  Nice request, Nigel. :)
Title: Re: The Pied Piper of Tucson
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on June 15, 2012, 06:21:37 PM
EVERYONE SHOULD VISIT TUCSON.
Title: Re: The Pied Piper of Tucson
Post by: Luna on June 15, 2012, 06:24:27 PM
Damn.

Gotta watch the ones that talk pretty.
Title: Re: The Pied Piper of Tucson
Post by: Freeky on June 15, 2012, 06:27:46 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 15, 2012, 06:21:37 PM
EVERYONE SHOULD VISIT TUCSON.

EVERYBODY.  YES!
Title: Re: The Pied Piper of Tucson
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on June 15, 2012, 06:29:40 PM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on June 15, 2012, 06:27:46 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 15, 2012, 06:21:37 PM
EVERYONE SHOULD VISIT TUCSON.

EVERYBODY.  YES!

MAMA TUCSON WUVS YOU!

And it's like being the cyclops of legend.  You can see the future, but only the rotten bits where you get chopped up and thrown in a dumpster or buried in the trunk of a car.  It's Greek mythology meets Hannibal Lecter.  It's all the fun you can stand, forever.  You'll never have a better time.  At least afterward, I mean.

Title: Re: The Pied Piper of Tucson
Post by: Freeky on June 15, 2012, 06:36:36 PM
I think it's been said before, but man wasn't meant to live in the wastes.  It does funny things to their brains.
Title: Re: The Pied Piper of Tucson
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on June 15, 2012, 06:49:23 PM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on June 15, 2012, 06:36:36 PM
I think it's been said before, but man wasn't meant to live in the wastes.  It does funny things to their brains.

It makes us see things clearly.  It makes us NORMAL.  It makes us understand why they dance like that, out in the boneyards and the low streets and the bodegas.  It shows us WHY South 4th Street1.  It makes us sing, it makes us party with the junkie angels and the lechers crawling beneath the table, looking for something good.  It gives us Teeth With Which To Eat.




1  To the uninitiated, that sentence makes no sense.  But it does.
Title: Re: The Pied Piper of Tucson
Post by: Freeky on June 15, 2012, 06:57:28 PM
Quote from: Sister FracturePraise and Despair unto the God-City!