Well, I've tried everything but friggin' Scientology and Eris is busy "masturbating" with her own, so maybe if I inject a couple of liters of stem cells, they'll swim to the Bad Places, fix the distorted parts and help me to become the very best Roger I can be. I can't draw the cells from the Arizona pool because they're all sun-damaged inbreds around here, so I need your help. I mean, I'm so wonderful as I AM, just THINK of how HOLY™ I'd become if I functioned at my peak!
So here's the deal: everyone who sends me at least 2 tablespoons of viable stem cells will be put on my Master List and as soon as I am "taken up", I will send you a Get Out of Normal Hell Free Card, plus a lovely teakwood plaque that says "I helped TGRR when I jacked off into a ziplock bag."
I know most of you are vile and pernicious, but its a worthy cause and I think there are JUST ENOUGH of you left who are only 87% corrupted that I have a good shot at it while I am still corporeal (again). So assist me in this great crusade and together, we can cornhole the po'buckers in Our Lifetime.
This offer not open to Babylon Horuv. I don't need any fucked up DNA; I already have plenty, just being in Arizona.
:spittake:
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on June 20, 2012, 04:54:55 PM
:spittake:
Um, no used cells, please.
Also, freeze them. I don't want a bag of rancid mush.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 20, 2012, 04:56:58 PM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on June 20, 2012, 04:54:55 PM
:spittake:
Um, no used cells, please.
Also, freeze them. I don't want a bag of rancid mush.
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Does Fedex have
reef- refrigerated trucks?
Not until you buy me dinner.
Or at least a few shots of tequila.
2 tablespoons? Jesus...I'll have to save 'em up over a few months. I'm a small man, if you haven't noticed. My stem cells are a lot like baby corn. Actually, they're a lot more like baby corn than I am comfortable with.
I'll totally send you some stem cells... now I just need to figure out how to jack this syringe into my spine.
OUCH FUCK DAMN.... yeah well that's how much I love your Roger.
Hrmmm, are my toes supposed to tingle like that?
Yes. Just wiggle it around so your nerves have some breathing room.
Wait.
THAT'S how you get stem cells?
ALL MY RESEARCH! WASTED!
MY COLLECTION OF EEL PORN! VIOLATED! FOR NOTHING!
:spittake:
gotta admit I thought it was something about spinal fluid, too but, when everyone started talking about jizz, I just figured I was mistaken :lulz:
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 20, 2012, 04:46:24 PM
Well, I've tried everything but friggin' Scientology and Eris is busy "masturbating" with her own, so maybe if I inject a couple of liters of stem cells, they'll swim to the Bad Places, fix the distorted parts and help me to become the very best Roger I can be. I can't draw the cells from the Arizona pool because they're all sun-damaged inbreds around here, so I need your help. I mean, I'm so wonderful as I AM, just THINK of how HOLY™ I'd become if I functioned at my peak!
So here's the deal: everyone who sends me at least 2 tablespoons of viable stem cells will be put on my Master List and as soon as I am "taken up", I will send you a Get Out of Normal Hell Free Card, plus a lovely teakwood plaque that says "I helped TGRR when I jacked off into a ziplock bag."
I know most of you are vile and pernicious, but its a worthy cause and I think there are JUST ENOUGH of you left who are only 87% corrupted that I have a good shot at it while I am still corporeal (again). So assist me in this great crusade and together, we can cornhole the po'buckers in Our Lifetime.
This offer not open to Babylon Horuv. I don't need any fucked up DNA; I already have plenty, just being in Arizona.
I don't have any cells of my own to spare, but I might be able to help you with the "harvesting" part. Oh wait, do you mean sperm cells?
1. I cannot in good faith comply
2. The USPS will no longer ship my "fluid", even "priority" after the last incident. I put a fake curl down from my widows peak, and popped on some red underwear. Lois Lane is STILL salvaging her ovaries from the far wall with a spatula. My picture is up in every office, and they have the Nat. Guard on speed dial.
You can have my NYEX's. All of 'em. Well, my half, anyway. (Half of 'em are mine until he gets off his ass and files the paperwork, right?)
ETA: Disclaimer, these cells may be damaged with a SEVERE case of TEH STOOPID.
My stem cells are still sobering up from that New Year's Eve in Cuzco in 2004. My consultant thinks they'll be ready next year.
I don't have stem cells anymore, Roger, I used them all when I had to repair my organs on a daily basis in order to combat the ravages of sheer eyeball-swelling horror in the underground of the Last Bastion of the Free World.
I can, however, send you Enrico Salazar.
All 32 of him.