Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Aneristic Illusions => Topic started by: Sir Bearington on July 27, 2012, 01:22:02 PM

Title: Do unbaptized children go to hell?
Post by: Sir Bearington on July 27, 2012, 01:22:02 PM
This is something that bugged me last night thinking about, i myself am unbaptized and i will never forget thanks to the passed down retelling of events from my family about a time in which a jehovah's witness zealously upon hearing that i was never baptized, began screaming at my family after putting his foot in the door about how i will burn in hell.

What kind of "God" would allow such a thing?

Do you have any thoughts on the matter?   :|

(I wasnt sure whether to put this thread somewhere else, but since it was more a arguement than a rant i thought it would be best here)
Title: Re: Do unbaptized children go to hell?
Post by: Lenin McCarthy on July 27, 2012, 01:29:06 PM
Don't you worry. Just get a Mormon to baptize you post-mortem.
Title: Re: Do unbaptized children go to hell?
Post by: Sir Bearington on July 27, 2012, 01:30:46 PM
Quote from: Lenin/McCarthy on July 27, 2012, 01:29:06 PM
Don't you worry. Just get a Mormon to baptize you post-mortem.

Now that is a very callous and heartless thing to say.

Even to me. Shame on you.
Title: Re: Do unbaptized children go to hell?
Post by: East Coast Hustle on July 27, 2012, 03:09:17 PM
JoHo's don't scream at people, and I'm pretty sure they don't get baptized. Your family are rotten liars. Which is good, since at least if you DO go to hell you'll still be able to see them.
Title: Re: Do unbaptized children go to hell?
Post by: Sir Bearington on July 27, 2012, 03:11:28 PM
Quote from: Echo Chamber Music on July 27, 2012, 03:09:17 PM
JoHo's don't scream at people, and I'm pretty sure they don't get baptized. Your family are rotten liars. Which is good, since at least if you DO go to hell you'll still be able to see them.

I was in the same room when he said it, or better wording it 'screamed it' i know it to be true because i can remember the grief and distress on my family's face when it was said. Just too young to remember the words.

Oh that's a nice and uplifting thing to say, thanks.
Title: Re: Do unbaptized children go to hell?
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on July 27, 2012, 05:41:32 PM
Ah, no... JW's don't believe in baptizing children. In fact you have to answer a series of 80 questions to prove that you know their belief system well enough to dedicate your life to serving their God. They actually condemn the idea of baby baptisim. They also believe that you have to be completely submerged in the water for it to be a baptism (symbolicly dying from your old life and being born new to God)... no head sprinkling. It would be pyhsically improbable to baptize a baby in the way JW's do.

Secondly, JW's do not believe in Hell. They believe that when you die, you are dead. No consciousness (unless you happen to be one of 144,000 people selected by Jesus to go to heaven).

Third, a JW would never scream at anyone in their door to door ministry. They could be kicked out for that sort of behavior.

I call bullshit.


*I was born and raised a JW, worked at their world headquarters, was an appointed Ministerial Servant and gave Sunday morning sermons. I was baptized at the age of 13 and that was considered almost 'too young'.
Title: Re: Do unbaptized children go to hell?
Post by: Faust on July 27, 2012, 06:17:27 PM
As all people are born Discordians, all are welcome in her arms, or on the end of her fork.
Title: Re: Do unbaptized children go to hell?
Post by: Mistre on August 10, 2012, 03:12:17 AM
I've heard of a place called Limbo, not sure if it applies to your question.
Title: Re: Do unbaptized children go to hell?
Post by: tyrannosaurus vex on August 10, 2012, 03:21:38 AM
YES. THEY GO TO HELL. AND THEY BURN FOREVER, IN TORMENT AND PAIN AND GNASHING OF GUMS.
Title: Re: Do unbaptized children go to hell?
Post by: Roly Poly Oly-Garch on August 10, 2012, 03:38:53 PM
This is what passes for AI, now?

--Shuffling off to Cain's new board now.
Title: Re: Do unbaptized children go to hell?
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 10, 2012, 03:58:28 PM
Quote from: NoLeDeMiel on August 10, 2012, 03:38:53 PM
This is what passes for AI, now?

--Shuffling off to Cain's new board now.

Why yes, one troll = PD's AI.

See you, I guess.
Title: Re: Do unbaptized children go to hell?
Post by: Roly Poly Oly-Garch on August 10, 2012, 05:15:11 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 10, 2012, 03:58:28 PM
Quote from: NoLeDeMiel on August 10, 2012, 03:38:53 PM
This is what passes for AI, now?

--Shuffling off to Cain's new board now.

Why yes, one troll = PD's AI.

See you, I guess.

In as Oculoid. So much catching up to do.
Title: Re: Do unbaptized children go to hell?
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 10, 2012, 05:15:48 PM
Quote from: NoLeDeMiel on August 10, 2012, 05:15:11 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 10, 2012, 03:58:28 PM
Quote from: NoLeDeMiel on August 10, 2012, 03:38:53 PM
This is what passes for AI, now?

--Shuffling off to Cain's new board now.

Why yes, one troll = PD's AI.

See you, I guess.

In as Oculoid. So much catching up to do.

Well, then, no time to waste.
Title: Re: Do unbaptized children go to hell?
Post by: Salty on August 10, 2012, 05:44:00 PM
Quote from: NoLeDeMiel on August 10, 2012, 03:38:53 PM
This is what passes for AI, now?

--Shuffling off to Cain's new board now.

*Thank you for depositing *ONE. USELESS. WHINE. Please wait for the following recoding BEEEEEEP*

HEY.

As one of the admins and, well, OTHER THINGS, for that board I would like to humbly request that you, and any other people who feel a need to engage in something like PD DROOLS THAT OTHER PLACE RULES kind of thing, please, PLEASE, keep it to yourself.

Just a request, not a demand or anything.

I will absolutely not accept any kind of shit talking of this or any other board I like over there. I think we had enough of that at EBG thank you very much.

Thanks.
Title: Re: Do unbaptized children go to hell?
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 10, 2012, 05:49:57 PM
Well, what can you expect?   We don't meet his standards in some way or another, and appearances must be maintained.  The interbutts are SERIOUS BUSINESS, so he has to let us know SRSLY that we don't make the grade.

Title: Re: Do unbaptized children go to hell?
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 10, 2012, 05:51:50 PM
Oddly enough, he's not over there, either.

Which means that either A) TPMP doesn't meet his exacting standards, either, or B) this entire exercise was designed to show us all just exactly how he feels.

Either way, he's an ass.  He's your problem now, Alty.
Title: Re: Do unbaptized children go to hell?
Post by: Roly Poly Oly-Garch on August 10, 2012, 06:28:09 PM
Quote from: Alty on August 10, 2012, 05:44:00 PM
Quote from: NoLeDeMiel on August 10, 2012, 03:38:53 PM
This is what passes for AI, now?

--Shuffling off to Cain's new board now.

*Thank you for depositing *ONE. USELESS. WHINE. Please wait for the following recoding BEEEEEEP*

HEY.

As one of the admins and, well, OTHER THINGS, for that board I would like to humbly request that you, and any other people who feel a need to engage in something like PD DROOLS THAT OTHER PLACE RULES kind of thing, please, PLEASE, keep it to yourself.

Just a request, not a demand or anything.

I will absolutely not accept any kind of shit talking of this or any other board I like over there. I think we had enough of that at EBG thank you very much.

Thanks.

So noted. And I do apologize.

I noticed how dead AI (relatively) has been lately, and figured a lot of what used to get posted in AI was getting posted over there. Which is actually kind of cool because the other areas of PD have been popping. I was mistaken, and totally see how my comment could be taken as dickish. Apologies, again.
Title: Re: Do unbaptized children go to hell?
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 10, 2012, 06:29:10 PM
Quote from: NoLeDeMiel on August 10, 2012, 06:28:09 PM
Quote from: Alty on August 10, 2012, 05:44:00 PM
Quote from: NoLeDeMiel on August 10, 2012, 03:38:53 PM
This is what passes for AI, now?

--Shuffling off to Cain's new board now.

*Thank you for depositing *ONE. USELESS. WHINE. Please wait for the following recoding BEEEEEEP*

HEY.

As one of the admins and, well, OTHER THINGS, for that board I would like to humbly request that you, and any other people who feel a need to engage in something like PD DROOLS THAT OTHER PLACE RULES kind of thing, please, PLEASE, keep it to yourself.

Just a request, not a demand or anything.

I will absolutely not accept any kind of shit talking of this or any other board I like over there. I think we had enough of that at EBG thank you very much.

Thanks.

So noted. And I do apologize.

I noticed how dead AI (relatively) has been lately, and figured a lot of what used to get posted in AI was getting posted over there. Which is actually kind of cool because the other areas of PD have been popping. I was mistaken, and totally see how my comment could be taken as dickish. Apologies, again.

Okay.  I'm just not sure how a troll spamming PD is somehow a reflection of what the rest of PD is doing.
Title: Re: Do unbaptized children go to hell?
Post by: Salty on August 10, 2012, 06:35:38 PM
Quote from: NoLeDeMiel on August 10, 2012, 06:28:09 PM
Quote from: Alty on August 10, 2012, 05:44:00 PM
Quote from: NoLeDeMiel on August 10, 2012, 03:38:53 PM
This is what passes for AI, now?

--Shuffling off to Cain's new board now.

*Thank you for depositing *ONE. USELESS. WHINE. Please wait for the following recoding BEEEEEEP*

HEY.

As one of the admins and, well, OTHER THINGS, for that board I would like to humbly request that you, and any other people who feel a need to engage in something like PD DROOLS THAT OTHER PLACE RULES kind of thing, please, PLEASE, keep it to yourself.

Just a request, not a demand or anything.

I will absolutely not accept any kind of shit talking of this or any other board I like over there. I think we had enough of that at EBG thank you very much.

Thanks.

So noted. And I do apologize.

I noticed how dead AI (relatively) has been lately, and figured a lot of what used to get posted in AI was getting posted over there. Which is actually kind of cool because the other areas of PD have been popping. I was mistaken, and totally see how my comment could be taken as dickish. Apologies, again.

Thank you. No problem. Also, you probably missed the bear while he was here. The last thing he was adding was any kind of quality. Or humor. Or personality. :lulz:
Title: Re: Do unbaptized children go to hell?
Post by: Roly Poly Oly-Garch on August 10, 2012, 06:44:16 PM
Quote from: Alty on August 10, 2012, 06:35:38 PM
Quote from: NoLeDeMiel on August 10, 2012, 06:28:09 PM
Quote from: Alty on August 10, 2012, 05:44:00 PM
Quote from: NoLeDeMiel on August 10, 2012, 03:38:53 PM
This is what passes for AI, now?

--Shuffling off to Cain's new board now.

*Thank you for depositing *ONE. USELESS. WHINE. Please wait for the following recoding BEEEEEEP*

HEY.

As one of the admins and, well, OTHER THINGS, for that board I would like to humbly request that you, and any other people who feel a need to engage in something like PD DROOLS THAT OTHER PLACE RULES kind of thing, please, PLEASE, keep it to yourself.

Just a request, not a demand or anything.

I will absolutely not accept any kind of shit talking of this or any other board I like over there. I think we had enough of that at EBG thank you very much.

Thanks.

So noted. And I do apologize.

I noticed how dead AI (relatively) has been lately, and figured a lot of what used to get posted in AI was getting posted over there. Which is actually kind of cool because the other areas of PD have been popping. I was mistaken, and totally see how my comment could be taken as dickish. Apologies, again.

Thank you. No problem. Also, you probably missed the bear while he was here. The last thing he was adding was any kind of quality. Or humor. Or personality. :lulz:

But I did learn something about JW. I'll chalk that as a win.
Title: Re: Do unbaptized children go to hell?
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 10, 2012, 06:44:51 PM
There has appeared to be a misunderstanding on my part, etc.

All previous statements retracted, and my apoligies extended to NoLodude.
Title: Re: Do unbaptized children go to hell?
Post by: Cain on August 10, 2012, 07:03:12 PM
TPMP isn't exactly any more alive than this place, anyway.
Title: Re: Do unbaptized children go to hell?
Post by: Roly Poly Oly-Garch on August 10, 2012, 07:14:33 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 10, 2012, 06:29:10 PM
Quote from: NoLeDeMiel on August 10, 2012, 06:28:09 PM
Quote from: Alty on August 10, 2012, 05:44:00 PM
Quote from: NoLeDeMiel on August 10, 2012, 03:38:53 PM
This is what passes for AI, now?

--Shuffling off to Cain's new board now.

*Thank you for depositing *ONE. USELESS. WHINE. Please wait for the following recoding BEEEEEEP*

HEY.

As one of the admins and, well, OTHER THINGS, for that board I would like to humbly request that you, and any other people who feel a need to engage in something like PD DROOLS THAT OTHER PLACE RULES kind of thing, please, PLEASE, keep it to yourself.

Just a request, not a demand or anything.

I will absolutely not accept any kind of shit talking of this or any other board I like over there. I think we had enough of that at EBG thank you very much.

Thanks.

So noted. And I do apologize.

I noticed how dead AI (relatively) has been lately, and figured a lot of what used to get posted in AI was getting posted over there. Which is actually kind of cool because the other areas of PD have been popping. I was mistaken, and totally see how my comment could be taken as dickish. Apologies, again.

Okay.  I'm just not sure how a troll spamming PD is somehow a reflection of what the rest of PD is doing.

Not PD in general, just AI. Probably a slow news day/week/month, or threads in Apple Talk that are much more interesting to follow than whatever the dipshit's in charge are up to.

I honestly was under the impression that AI was sort of migrating. This particular troll post just struck me like tumbleweed in a ghost town--only with less zazz.
Title: Re: Do unbaptized children go to hell?
Post by: Golden Applesauce on August 11, 2012, 04:35:49 PM
I totally read "This is what passes for AI, now?" as an indictment of Trollbear's ability to pass the Turing test.
Title: Re: Do unbaptized children go to hell?
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on August 11, 2012, 06:35:47 PM
Quote from: Golden Applesauce on August 11, 2012, 04:35:49 PM
I totally read "This is what passes for AI, now?" as an indictment of Trollbear's ability to pass the Turing test.

That was how I read it initially, as well.  :lulz:
Title: Re: Do unbaptized children go to hell?
Post by: ZeroZeroSix on September 23, 2012, 06:56:38 PM

And what do Discordians think about Jesus Christ?
Title: Re: Do unbaptized children go to hell?
Post by: AFK on September 23, 2012, 07:02:45 PM
seems like a cool guy to hang around with.



Title: Re: Do unbaptized children go to hell?
Post by: Faust on September 23, 2012, 07:22:46 PM
Quote from: ZeroZeroSix on September 23, 2012, 06:56:38 PM

And what do Discordians think about Jesus Christ?

Nicer then Zeus, less cool then batman.
Title: Re: Do unbaptized children go to hell?
Post by: Internet Jesus on September 23, 2012, 07:40:50 PM
Quote from: ZeroZeroSix on September 23, 2012, 06:56:38 PM

And what do Discordians think about Jesus Christ?

He was the bastard child of Pandera, who stole the mystic name of Yahweh from the temple in order to do magic, wow the rubes and tap some ass.*

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toledot_Yeshu

Oddly enough that makes him much more relatable that the God-Man of John, the social crusader of Luke, or the Uber-Jew of Matthew.  I'll leave Mark off the list, because Mark was just ripping off Homer.

*not the actual opinion of any Discordians
Title: Re: Do unbaptized children go to hell?
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on September 23, 2012, 08:07:15 PM
There's an alt spelling "Pantera". Like the band.  :lol:
Title: Re: Do unbaptized children go to hell?
Post by: Internet Jesus on September 23, 2012, 08:17:52 PM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on September 23, 2012, 08:07:15 PM
There's an alt spelling "Pantera". Like the band.  :lol:

True.  I just wanted to be an ass and limit everyone else's fun, by not leaving the obvious joke out there -  that Dimebag Daryl is really the father of Jesus.  Now you've gone and ruined it.  :argh!:  :lulz: