Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 04, 2012, 10:02:12 PM

Title: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 04, 2012, 10:02:12 PM
Full of horrible bits.

This is not a Holy™ thing.  It's just that I wish to say disgusting things.

Be the first idiot on your block to line right up.  Replies may take a short while, as I intend to put QUALITY FIRST.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Salty on August 04, 2012, 10:05:19 PM
GIVE ME QUALITY.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on August 04, 2012, 10:08:12 PM
Meeeee
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Juana on August 04, 2012, 10:08:49 PM
BRING IT.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on August 04, 2012, 10:10:33 PM
Word.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Luna on August 04, 2012, 10:12:28 PM
Quality, yay!  I shall update upon my return to a real computer, instead of mucking up such work on my phone.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Murmur on August 05, 2012, 01:30:24 AM
Yes, please!
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on August 05, 2012, 01:44:41 AM
Hit me with a new sig as you see fit.
Bonus points if it makes people turn away in Horror(TM).  :fap:
Thanks!
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: EK WAFFLR on August 05, 2012, 05:02:27 PM
Yes please.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: leln on August 05, 2012, 05:51:19 PM
 :lol:
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 05, 2012, 06:00:15 PM
Oh, wow.  This is more response than I expected for THIS particular subject.  Okay, I am going to get everyone in the order that they posted.  This might be a bit.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Dark Monk on August 05, 2012, 10:27:47 PM
Hit me up sir! ^.^
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: tyrannosaurus vex on August 05, 2012, 10:29:50 PM
I need a new something.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: the last yatto on August 05, 2012, 10:46:40 PM
Is it safe?
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: CarvedWood on August 06, 2012, 12:13:18 AM
I want to jump on this wagon.  I don't think I even have a sig.  Break my sig silence, Rog!
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Freeky on August 06, 2012, 04:28:34 AM
-sidles in, raises hand-
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 06, 2012, 01:45:40 PM
Quote from: Just Alty, Actually. on August 04, 2012, 10:05:19 PM
GIVE ME QUALITY.

GIVE ME AMBIGUITY OR GIVE ME SOMETHING ELSE!
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: standvast on August 06, 2012, 01:53:20 PM
you best not change my sig.  :argh!:
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 06, 2012, 01:59:04 PM
Quote from: Dear Departed Uncle Nigel on August 04, 2012, 10:08:12 PM
Meeeee

Okay, but you have to keep your other one, too.  It's too classic to get rid of just for this.

"If you've seen one Portland body pervert with a do-it-yourself pierced cranium, you've seen them all."
 
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 06, 2012, 01:59:23 PM
Quote from: standvast on August 06, 2012, 01:53:20 PM
you best not change my sig.  :argh!:

Um, what the fuck are you talking about?
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 06, 2012, 02:02:04 PM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on August 04, 2012, 10:08:49 PM
BRING IT.

"This isn't a smile, it's a rictus.  If you lived here, you'd look just the same.  'Left Coast', my entire ass.  You can't swing a dead cat in this motherfucker without hitting two teabaggers and  a 'Focus on the Family' retard...And yet flamethrowers are still illegal.  This town has no balance."
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 06, 2012, 02:03:33 PM
Quote from: Echo Chamber Music on August 04, 2012, 10:10:33 PM
Word.

"Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: hirley0 on August 06, 2012, 02:16:30 PM
6:16:33&1/3  sig.  (Read 126 times)








Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 06, 2012, 01:45:40 PM
Quote from: Just Alty, Actually. on August 04, 2012, 10:05:19 PM
GIVE ME QUALITY.

GIVE ME AMBIGUITY OR GIVE ME SOMETHING ELSE!
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 06, 2012, 02:17:43 PM
Quote from: Luna on August 04, 2012, 10:12:28 PM
Quality, yay!  I shall update upon my return to a real computer, instead of mucking up such work on my phone.

"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: hirley0 on August 06, 2012, 02:19:30 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 06, 2012, 02:17:43 PM
Quote from: Luna on August 04, 2012, 10:12:28 PM
Quality, yay!  I shall update upon my return to a real computer, instead of mucking up such work on my phone. Can U get me 1 too

"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 06, 2012, 02:21:23 PM
Quote from: Murmur on August 05, 2012, 01:30:24 AM
Yes, please!

"SaraLee, I say unto you!  If ye have a cake and halve it, and then halve it yet again, you would have four quarters and yet still not have a dollar.  Eat of that cake, for it is cake which is NOT cake, which ye may have half a mind to have at a reasonable price, yet in indecision achieve satori with said stale Moon Pie.  That's what you get when YOU FUCK WITH US."
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 06, 2012, 02:22:20 PM
Quote from: hirley0 on August 06, 2012, 02:19:30 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 06, 2012, 02:17:43 PM
Quote from: Luna on August 04, 2012, 10:12:28 PM
Quality, yay!  I shall update upon my return to a real computer, instead of mucking up such work on my phone. Can U get me 1 too

"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

"I AM speaking clearly, human scum!  It's not MY fault that you don't speak a civilized language on this mud ball!"
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 06, 2012, 02:27:35 PM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on August 05, 2012, 01:44:41 AM
Hit me with a new sig as you see fit.
Bonus points if it makes people turn away in Horror(TM).  :fap:
Thanks!

"My state gave you George Bush and Rick Perry (and his daughter Katie) and that one congressman DeLay who couldn't find a buyer for his soul that had more prestige than Orkin Pest Control.  So when I hear you bitch about your city or your state, I just laugh (so I don't cry), and then beat the mortal shit out of someone with a mullet.  Shut up and hand me a beer, human fool!"
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 06, 2012, 02:31:10 PM
Quote from: Waffles, The Iron on August 05, 2012, 05:02:27 PM
Yes please.

"To put it charitably, they are PATHOLOGICALLY ONE-DIMENSIONAL.
To put it another way they bore the living shit out of me.
The things that matter to them SUCK.
They glorify THE LOWEST COMMON DENOMINATOR and FITTING IN.
They have one personality: mindlessly snoring or bellowing, offspring-devouring, walrus-like OAF.

I have days when I almost enjoy making a game of stepping all over 'um, or hopscotching or leapfrogging or getting 'um to fight amongst themselves while I make my way around. I also have days when there's nothing I wouldn't enjoy more than witnessing their stupid guts being  blown skyhigh just to clear my path."
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 06, 2012, 02:32:58 PM
Quote from: leln on August 05, 2012, 05:51:19 PM
:lol:

"If you speak out of turn again, I will unscrew your neckpipe and use the resulting hole for my lavatory.  And I have one fuck of a case of the squirts today."
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 06, 2012, 02:44:50 PM
Quote from: The Dark Monk on August 05, 2012, 10:27:47 PM
Hit me up sir! ^.^

"TDM doesn't even know who you are.  And if TDM did, TDM would come over there and TDM your ass right into your grave, and leave you a pile of arse biscuits for a headstone.  So sit there quietly and hope TDM doesn't notice you."
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 06, 2012, 02:47:17 PM
Quote from: v3x on August 05, 2012, 10:29:50 PM
I need a new something.

"I'm a little too dumb to be smart, and a little too smart to be dumb, so I find it safest to just not listen to a word you have to say.  You may be explaining the solutions to the problems of the world, or perhaps detailing your brilliant contributions to Quantum Healing, or you may just be talking about last night's football game.  In all of the above cases, all I hear is 'BLAH BLAH BLAH'.  So shut up."
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 06, 2012, 02:50:59 PM
Quote from: the last yatto on August 05, 2012, 10:46:40 PM
Is it safe?

"Look, asshole:  Your 'incomprehensible' act, your word-salad, your pinealism...It BORES ME.  I've been incomprehensible for so long, I TEACH IT TO MBA CANDIDATES.  So if you simply MUST talk about your pineal gland or happy children dancing in the wildflowers, go talk to Roger, because he digs that kind of shit."
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 06, 2012, 02:53:25 PM
Quote from: CarvedWood on August 06, 2012, 12:13:18 AM
I want to jump on this wagon.  I don't think I even have a sig.  Break my sig silence, Rog!

"It was all a joke.  In real life, I'm not this way.  I'm some other way.  I meant it to be funny to US, and it was, at least to the ME part of US. I meant it to be funny to YOU, just not THEM, see? Unless you are actually part of THEM, and if that's true, well, my apologies.

And that would be my individual apology.  I would apologize for US but I'm not sure if there is an US that's larger than just ME in this regard.  I'm not even so sure YOU are or are not at least partially any of THEM.

But if you are one of THEM to whom I am apologizing, I'm truly sorry."

Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 06, 2012, 02:54:57 PM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on August 06, 2012, 04:28:34 AM
-sidles in, raises hand-

"PD.com is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea:  massive, difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of poop when you least expect it."
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on August 06, 2012, 04:07:20 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 06, 2012, 01:59:04 PM
Quote from: Dear Departed Uncle Nigel on August 04, 2012, 10:08:12 PM
Meeeee

Okay, but you have to keep your other one, too.  It's too classic to get rid of just for this.

"If you've seen one Portland body pervert with a do-it-yourself pierced cranium, you've seen them all."


:lol: Yay! And I will, of course, keep the other one as well.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 06, 2012, 04:31:29 PM
Quote from: Dear Departed Uncle Nigel on August 06, 2012, 04:07:20 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 06, 2012, 01:59:04 PM
Quote from: Dear Departed Uncle Nigel on August 04, 2012, 10:08:12 PM
Meeeee

Okay, but you have to keep your other one, too.  It's too classic to get rid of just for this.

"If you've seen one Portland body pervert with a do-it-yourself pierced cranium, you've seen them all."


:lol: Yay! And I will, of course, keep the other one as well.

I meant the one about the bees.  I love that one.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on August 06, 2012, 04:37:34 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 06, 2012, 04:31:29 PM
Quote from: Dear Departed Uncle Nigel on August 06, 2012, 04:07:20 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 06, 2012, 01:59:04 PM
Quote from: Dear Departed Uncle Nigel on August 04, 2012, 10:08:12 PM
Meeeee

Okay, but you have to keep your other one, too.  It's too classic to get rid of just for this.

"If you've seen one Portland body pervert with a do-it-yourself pierced cranium, you've seen them all."


:lol: Yay! And I will, of course, keep the other one as well.

I meant the one about the bees.  I love that one.

Oh! Hahahaha. I will trade it places with the other one. I have it tucked away in my profile.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Freeky on August 06, 2012, 06:56:31 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 06, 2012, 02:54:57 PM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on August 06, 2012, 04:28:34 AM
-sidles in, raises hand-

"PD.com is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea:  massive, difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of poop when you least expect it."

Whee!
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Juana on August 06, 2012, 08:12:00 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 06, 2012, 02:02:04 PM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on August 04, 2012, 10:08:49 PM
BRING IT.

"This isn't a smile, it's a rictus.  If you lived here, you'd look just the same.  'Left Coast', my entire ass.  You can't swing a dead cat in this motherfucker without hitting two teabaggers and  a 'Focus on the Family' retard...And yet flamethrowers are still illegal.  This town has no balance."
DONE.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on August 06, 2012, 08:42:01 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 06, 2012, 02:27:35 PM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on August 05, 2012, 01:44:41 AM
Hit me with a new sig as you see fit.
Bonus points if it makes people turn away in Horror(TM).  :fap:
Thanks!

"My state gave you George Bush and Rick Perry (and his daughter Katie) and that one congressman DeLay who couldn't find a buyer for his soul that had more prestige than Orkin Pest Control.  So when I hear you bitch about your city or your state, I just laugh (so I don't cry), and then beat the mortal shit out of someone with a mullet.  Shut up and hand me a beer, human fool!"

Holy crap, you got DELAY in there...and managed to work in Katie Perry. The Horror(TM) runneth over...thanks!  :lulz:
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 06, 2012, 08:44:40 PM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on August 06, 2012, 08:42:01 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 06, 2012, 02:27:35 PM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on August 05, 2012, 01:44:41 AM
Hit me with a new sig as you see fit.
Bonus points if it makes people turn away in Horror(TM).  :fap:
Thanks!

"My state gave you George Bush and Rick Perry (and his daughter Katie) and that one congressman DeLay who couldn't find a buyer for his soul that had more prestige than Orkin Pest Control.  So when I hear you bitch about your city or your state, I just laugh (so I don't cry), and then beat the mortal shit out of someone with a mullet.  Shut up and hand me a beer, human fool!"

Holy crap, you got DELAY in there. The Horror(TM) runneth over...thanks!  :lulz:

I understand Texas, to a degree that causes physical discomfort.  It's like gas, only it doesn't help when you belch or fart.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on August 06, 2012, 08:46:48 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 06, 2012, 08:44:40 PM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on August 06, 2012, 08:42:01 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 06, 2012, 02:27:35 PM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on August 05, 2012, 01:44:41 AM
Hit me with a new sig as you see fit.
Bonus points if it makes people turn away in Horror(TM).  :fap:
Thanks!

"My state gave you George Bush and Rick Perry (and his daughter Katie) and that one congressman DeLay who couldn't find a buyer for his soul that had more prestige than Orkin Pest Control.  So when I hear you bitch about your city or your state, I just laugh (so I don't cry), and then beat the mortal shit out of someone with a mullet.  Shut up and hand me a beer, human fool!"

Holy crap, you got DELAY in there. The Horror(TM) runneth over...thanks!  :lulz:

I understand Texas, to a degree that causes physical discomfort.  It's like gas, only it doesn't help when you belch or fart.

Nothing helps. Anyone who thinks they have something that "helps" is part of the problem.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: LMNO on August 06, 2012, 08:47:22 PM
Yeah, ok.  Posting.  I need something new, anyway.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 06, 2012, 08:58:38 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on August 06, 2012, 08:47:22 PM
Yeah, ok.  Posting.  I need something new, anyway.

"Get offa me, you freaks!  This is not North Korea.  No.  This is America, and I expect to be PAID for that sort of nonsense.  In advance.  No credit...Cash on the barrelhead or GTFO.  I swear to God, there's nothing more annoying than commie perverts who don't understand the intrinsic value of the free market system."
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Salty on August 06, 2012, 11:45:31 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 06, 2012, 01:45:40 PM
Quote from: Just Alty, Actually. on August 04, 2012, 10:05:19 PM
GIVE ME QUALITY.

GIVE ME AMBIGUITY OR GIVE ME SOMETHING ELSE!

IMA GET THIS TATTOOED ON MAH BUTT.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Don Coyote on August 07, 2012, 12:32:34 AM
Eh?
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: CarvedWood on August 07, 2012, 02:05:07 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 06, 2012, 02:53:25 PM
Quote from: CarvedWood on August 06, 2012, 12:13:18 AM
I want to jump on this wagon.  I don't think I even have a sig.  Break my sig silence, Rog!

"It was all a joke.  In real life, I'm not this way.  I'm some other way.  I meant it to be funny to US, and it was, at least to the ME part of US. I meant it to be funny to YOU, just not THEM, see? Unless you are actually part of THEM, and if that's true, well, my apologies.

And that would be my individual apology.  I would apologize for US but I'm not sure if there is an US that's larger than just ME in this regard.  I'm not even so sure YOU are or are not at least partially any of THEM.

But if you are one of THEM to whom I am apologizing, I'm truly sorry."

:?   All that would be true, except for the "I'm sorry" part.  Or, depending on if there's a gun to my head, the "truly" part.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: the last yatto on August 07, 2012, 06:37:01 AM
Almost changed shit to dada... but :mittens:
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 07, 2012, 01:55:27 PM
Quote from: CarvedWood on August 07, 2012, 02:05:07 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 06, 2012, 02:53:25 PM
Quote from: CarvedWood on August 06, 2012, 12:13:18 AM
I want to jump on this wagon.  I don't think I even have a sig.  Break my sig silence, Rog!

"It was all a joke.  In real life, I'm not this way.  I'm some other way.  I meant it to be funny to US, and it was, at least to the ME part of US. I meant it to be funny to YOU, just not THEM, see? Unless you are actually part of THEM, and if that's true, well, my apologies.

And that would be my individual apology.  I would apologize for US but I'm not sure if there is an US that's larger than just ME in this regard.  I'm not even so sure YOU are or are not at least partially any of THEM.

But if you are one of THEM to whom I am apologizing, I'm truly sorry."

:?   All that would be true, except for the "I'm sorry" part.  Or, depending on if there's a gun to my head, the "truly" part.

It's a safe apology, if you re-read the whole thing.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 07, 2012, 01:55:49 PM
Quote from: Guru Quixote on August 07, 2012, 12:32:34 AM
Eh?

Yours is already PERFECT.   :lulz:
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: CarvedWood on August 07, 2012, 04:55:36 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 07, 2012, 01:55:27 PM
Quote from: CarvedWood on August 07, 2012, 02:05:07 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 06, 2012, 02:53:25 PM
Quote from: CarvedWood on August 06, 2012, 12:13:18 AM
I want to jump on this wagon.  I don't think I even have a sig.  Break my sig silence, Rog!

"It was all a joke.  In real life, I'm not this way.  I'm some other way.  I meant it to be funny to US, and it was, at least to the ME part of US. I meant it to be funny to YOU, just not THEM, see? Unless you are actually part of THEM, and if that's true, well, my apologies.

And that would be my individual apology.  I would apologize for US but I'm not sure if there is an US that's larger than just ME in this regard.  I'm not even so sure YOU are or are not at least partially any of THEM.

But if you are one of THEM to whom I am apologizing, I'm truly sorry."

:?   All that would be true, except for the "I'm sorry" part.  Or, depending on if there's a gun to my head, the "truly" part.

It's a safe apology, if you re-read the whole thing.

Hm... well, ok... but it kind of feels like swallowing a goldfish on a dare.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 07, 2012, 04:57:36 PM
Quote from: CarvedWood on August 07, 2012, 04:55:36 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 07, 2012, 01:55:27 PM
Quote from: CarvedWood on August 07, 2012, 02:05:07 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 06, 2012, 02:53:25 PM
Quote from: CarvedWood on August 06, 2012, 12:13:18 AM
I want to jump on this wagon.  I don't think I even have a sig.  Break my sig silence, Rog!

"It was all a joke.  In real life, I'm not this way.  I'm some other way.  I meant it to be funny to US, and it was, at least to the ME part of US. I meant it to be funny to YOU, just not THEM, see? Unless you are actually part of THEM, and if that's true, well, my apologies.

And that would be my individual apology.  I would apologize for US but I'm not sure if there is an US that's larger than just ME in this regard.  I'm not even so sure YOU are or are not at least partially any of THEM.

But if you are one of THEM to whom I am apologizing, I'm truly sorry."

:?   All that would be true, except for the "I'm sorry" part.  Or, depending on if there's a gun to my head, the "truly" part.

It's a safe apology, if you re-read the whole thing.

Hm... well, ok... but it kind of feels like swallowing a goldfish on a dare.

Who needs a dare?  I eat those little bastards like popcorn.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Don Coyote on August 07, 2012, 05:05:44 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 07, 2012, 01:55:49 PM
Quote from: Guru Quixote on August 07, 2012, 12:32:34 AM
Eh?

Yours is already PERFECT.   :lulz:

:lulz:
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 07, 2012, 05:07:52 PM
Quote from: Guru Quixote on August 07, 2012, 05:05:44 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 07, 2012, 01:55:49 PM
Quote from: Guru Quixote on August 07, 2012, 12:32:34 AM
Eh?

Yours is already PERFECT.   :lulz:

:lulz:

I NEED AN ADULT
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: hooplala on August 07, 2012, 05:24:29 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 07, 2012, 05:07:52 PM
Quote from: Guru Quixote on August 07, 2012, 05:05:44 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 07, 2012, 01:55:49 PM
Quote from: Guru Quixote on August 07, 2012, 12:32:34 AM
Eh?

Yours is already PERFECT.   :lulz:

:lulz:

I NEED AN ADULT

I don't think I count in that regard.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 07, 2012, 05:29:58 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on August 07, 2012, 05:24:29 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 07, 2012, 05:07:52 PM
Quote from: Guru Quixote on August 07, 2012, 05:05:44 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 07, 2012, 01:55:49 PM
Quote from: Guru Quixote on August 07, 2012, 12:32:34 AM
Eh?

Yours is already PERFECT.   :lulz:

:lulz:

I NEED AN ADULT

I don't think I count in that regard.

GET THE GENERALISSIMO!  ONLY HE CAN SAVE US NOW!
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Suu on August 14, 2012, 03:36:04 AM
Still taking requests, Rog?
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Signora Pæsior on August 14, 2012, 03:48:43 AM
I suspect I'm the only idiot on my block... but bring it.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 14, 2012, 01:40:00 PM
Quote from: Signora Paesior on August 14, 2012, 03:48:43 AM
I suspect I'm the only idiot on my block... but bring it.

The only idiot on your block to do what?

Quote from: Suu on August 14, 2012, 03:36:04 AM
Still taking requests, Rog?

Yep.  Sometime today.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 14, 2012, 06:37:18 PM
Suu:

"Go get your ten-billionth burger, America. Fatten your already fat asses with bacteria-and-hormone-ridden meat and do nothing as you sit stupefied before your mind-numbing television sets awaiting the next episode of sad families being humiliated on 'Cops.'  You earned it."


SP:  I am still unsure what you meant, so I'm waiting until you respond.

Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 14, 2012, 07:41:23 PM
Oh, wait.

:lulz:

Apparently, I am senile.

So SP, here you go:

"'The lobbyist does not suffer from the manipulation and the collection of semen is something we do every day around the world.'' he said, referring to the common practice used to ensure that congressmen get fed enough and on time."

Substitute in parliament ministers or whatever the hell You People use for government.

Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Signora Pæsior on August 16, 2012, 07:32:53 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 14, 2012, 07:41:23 PM
Oh, wait.

:lulz:

Apparently, I am senile.

So SP, here you go:

"'The lobbyist does not suffer from the manipulation and the collection of semen is something we do every day around the world.'' he said, referring to the common practice used to ensure that congressmen get fed enough and on time."

Substitute in parliament ministers or whatever the hell You People use for government.

You may be senile, Roger, but it has taken me this long to realise/remember that I am SP.

:lulz:

Gracias!
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 12, 2015, 07:37:45 AM
Open for business.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Ben Shapiro on October 12, 2015, 08:06:40 AM
Sup
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Dubya on October 13, 2015, 01:57:03 AM
Hit me with the Holy™, please.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 13, 2015, 03:07:00 AM
Quote from: Gone with the Sin on October 12, 2015, 08:06:40 AM
Sup

"Here in Austin, the real men shit on the floor and then make snow angels while crying uncontrollably."

Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 13, 2015, 03:08:16 AM
Quote from: Dubya on October 13, 2015, 01:57:03 AM
Hit me with the Holy™, please.

"Gold Medalist of the 2015 David Cameron Memorial Barnyard Olympics."
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Aucoq on October 13, 2015, 03:21:20 AM
I can't believe I missed this thread.  I'd love a sig!
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 13, 2015, 03:25:24 AM
Quote from: Aucoq on October 13, 2015, 03:21:20 AM
I can't believe I missed this thread.  I'd love a sig!

"All of the world's leading theologists agree only on the notion that God hates no-fault insurance."
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Aucoq on October 13, 2015, 04:21:51 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 13, 2015, 03:25:24 AM
Quote from: Aucoq on October 13, 2015, 03:21:20 AM
I can't believe I missed this thread.  I'd love a sig!

"All of the world's leading theologists agree only on the notion that God hates no-fault insurance."

:lulz: :lulz::lulz:
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on October 13, 2015, 10:12:43 AM
I know better than to post ITT after what happened the last time  :argh!:
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: EK WAFFLR on October 13, 2015, 10:49:26 AM
Hit me!
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Vanadium Gryllz on October 13, 2015, 11:31:07 AM
Yes please mister.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 14, 2015, 03:59:16 AM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on October 13, 2015, 10:12:43 AM
I know better than to post ITT after what happened the last time  :argh!:

"Not actually a meat product."
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 14, 2015, 04:00:14 AM
Quote from: The All-Seeing Waffle on October 13, 2015, 10:49:26 AM
Hit me!

"At first I lifted weights.  But then I asked myself, 'why not people?'  Now everyone runs for the fjord when they see me."
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 14, 2015, 04:01:28 AM
Quote from: Xaz on October 13, 2015, 11:31:07 AM
Yes please mister.

"I was fine until my skin came off.  I'm never going to South Attelboro again."
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Chelagoras The Boulder on October 15, 2015, 09:32:14 PM
Do want!
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: LMNO on October 15, 2015, 09:44:44 PM
Hit me, kid.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on October 15, 2015, 09:55:22 PM
I would ask for a new one but I already stole one from you and it is basically perfect.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 15, 2015, 10:27:40 PM
Quote from: LMNO on October 15, 2015, 09:44:44 PM
Hit me, kid.

"The only problem I have with throwing myself out of my office window to squash some miserable bastard on the sidewalk on my way out is that I work in Boston, and thus have too many targets from which to choose."
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 15, 2015, 10:28:00 PM
Quote from: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on October 15, 2015, 09:55:22 PM
I would ask for a new one but I already stole one from you and it is basically perfect.

I really couldn't improve on that if I tried.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 15, 2015, 10:29:35 PM
Quote from: Chelagoras The Boulder on October 15, 2015, 09:32:14 PM
Do want!

"It isn't who you know, it's who you know, if you know what I mean.  And I think you do."
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on October 15, 2015, 11:04:31 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 15, 2015, 10:28:00 PM
Quote from: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on October 15, 2015, 09:55:22 PM
I would ask for a new one but I already stole one from you and it is basically perfect.

I really couldn't improve on that if I tried.

Yep. I know genius when I see it.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Nast on October 18, 2015, 08:37:26 AM
Ooh! Ooh! Pick me! Pick me!
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Freeky on October 23, 2015, 10:10:40 PM
Jazz hands!
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 24, 2015, 02:59:44 AM
Quote from: Nast on October 18, 2015, 08:37:26 AM
Ooh! Ooh! Pick me! Pick me!

"If I owned Goodwill, no charity worker would feel safe.  I would sit in my office behind a massive pile of cocaine, racking my pistol's slide every time the cleaning lady came near.  Auditors, I'd just shoot."
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 24, 2015, 03:00:33 AM
Quote from: Choppas an' Sluggas on October 23, 2015, 10:10:40 PM
Jazz hands!

"29th Street isn't a bad neighborhood, it's an adventure!
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Nast on October 25, 2015, 01:09:42 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 24, 2015, 02:59:44 AM
Quote from: Nast on October 18, 2015, 08:37:26 AM
Ooh! Ooh! Pick me! Pick me!

"If I owned Goodwill, no charity worker would feel safe.  I would sit in my office behind a massive pile of cocaine, racking my pistol's slide every time the cleaning lady came near.  Auditors, I'd just shoot."

:lulz:

Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Freeky on October 31, 2015, 11:12:01 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 24, 2015, 03:00:33 AM
Quote from: Choppas an' Sluggas on October 23, 2015, 10:10:40 PM
Jazz hands!

"29th Street isn't a bad neighborhood, it's an adventure!

Oh my god. 


OH MY GOD.  YES.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Doktor Howl on August 12, 2019, 12:12:00 AM
Bump.

Open for business again.  Please allow 24 hours for delivery.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: altered on August 12, 2019, 05:01:32 AM
Hit me, metaphorically.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Juana on August 12, 2019, 06:21:30 PM
I don't think I got one last time.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Al Qədic on August 13, 2019, 06:50:45 AM
Give it to me poetic if you can, and pretentious if you insist.

Wait, those are practically synonymous nowadays.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: tyrannosaurus vex on August 13, 2019, 11:21:37 PM
i require a signature. bonus points if it fits in a facebook bio, too.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: chaotic neutral observer on August 14, 2019, 02:03:06 AM
O dread Doktor, whose Words cause the Mountains to Tremble and whose Hate makes the very Stars to Quail:

Me too, please.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Doktor Howl on August 14, 2019, 03:07:44 PM
Quote from: nullified on August 12, 2019, 05:01:32 AM
Hit me, metaphorically.

"I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me[/].
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Doktor Howl on August 14, 2019, 03:10:06 PM
Quote from: Juana on August 12, 2019, 06:21:30 PM
I don't think I got one last time.

"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don'e meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Doktor Howl on August 14, 2019, 03:11:14 PM
Quote from: tyrannosaurus vex on August 13, 2019, 11:21:37 PM
i require a signature. bonus points if it fits in a facebook bio, too.

"I live in Virginia now.  KEEP YOUR HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM!"
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Doktor Howl on August 14, 2019, 03:11:49 PM
More later, I have a thing.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Doktor Howl on August 14, 2019, 03:25:56 PM
Quote from: Al Qədic on August 13, 2019, 06:50:45 AM
Give it to me poetic if you can, and pretentious if you insist.

Wait, those are practically synonymous nowadays.

"There is no reason to be ashamed of poetry.  It is natural.  But you should still do it in private and wash your hands afterward."
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Doktor Howl on August 14, 2019, 03:28:16 PM
Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on August 14, 2019, 02:03:06 AM
O dread Doktor, whose Words cause the Mountains to Tremble and whose Hate makes the very Stars to Quail:

Me too, please.

"When I say 'engineering', I have unreasonable expectations.  It must - as you know - look good in SolidWorks AND give you plenty of help ducking and weaving in meetings.  But it must also, at some distant point in time, function.  If it does not, then you must accept that you are not in fact an engineer but instead an MBA.  Hang your head in SHAME, sinner!"
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: altered on August 14, 2019, 04:31:25 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 14, 2019, 03:07:44 PM
Quote from: nullified on August 12, 2019, 05:01:32 AM
Hit me, metaphorically.

"I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me[/].

I find it concerning just how close to the heart of the matter you have gotten here, and have entirely rearranged my profile to frame it appropriately as a result.

And the results speak for themselves. Why, I'm already losing those useless "extra" teeth as I begin to shrink into a shriveled Peruvian cave mummy. Just another satisfied customer. Thanks Dok!
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Juana on August 14, 2019, 05:37:03 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 14, 2019, 03:10:06 PM
Quote from: Juana on August 12, 2019, 06:21:30 PM
I don't think I got one last time.

"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don'e meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."
:lulz:
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: chaotic neutral observer on August 15, 2019, 12:06:44 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 14, 2019, 03:28:16 PM
Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on August 14, 2019, 02:03:06 AM
O dread Doktor, whose Words cause the Mountains to Tremble and whose Hate makes the very Stars to Quail:

Me too, please.

"When I say 'engineering', I have unreasonable expectations.  It must - as you know - look good in SolidWorks AND give you plenty of help ducking and weaving in meetings.  But it must also, at some distant point in time, function.  If it does not, then you must accept that you are not in fact an engineer but instead an MBA.  Hang your head in SHAME, sinner!"
That rings true.  Marketing guy apparently has a engineering degree.  Once, in my presence, he had difficulty recalling Ohm's law.  He likes to help with part selection.  It turns out as well as you'd expect.

Thanks.

(I swapped SolidWorks for PADS.  Fits better with my line of work.)
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on August 19, 2019, 06:19:14 PM
 :cpd:
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Doktor Howl on August 19, 2019, 07:33:07 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on August 19, 2019, 06:19:14 PM
:cpd:

"I've up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy."
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on August 21, 2019, 09:31:02 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 19, 2019, 07:33:07 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on August 19, 2019, 06:19:14 PM
:cpd:

"I've up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy."

Changed to "I'm" on account of grammar nazi :hitlerbanjo:
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on August 21, 2019, 11:49:39 AM
I got a lot of sigs, but I've never asked you for anything so far and I feel that my PD experience is incomplete if I don't.

Hit me Dok!
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Doktor Howl on August 21, 2019, 10:40:25 PM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on August 21, 2019, 11:49:39 AM
I got a lot of sigs, but I've never asked you for anything so far and I feel that my PD experience is incomplete if I don't.

Hit me Dok!

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on August 21, 2019, 11:57:33 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 21, 2019, 10:40:25 PM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on August 21, 2019, 11:49:39 AM
I got a lot of sigs, but I've never asked you for anything so far and I feel that my PD experience is incomplete if I don't.

Hit me Dok!

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

I somehow feel that this describes me on a karmic level.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Frontside Back on August 22, 2019, 07:12:55 AM
The subliminal marketing kicked in. WANT.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on August 25, 2019, 10:58:50 AM
Quote from: Frontside Back on August 22, 2019, 07:12:55 AM
The subliminal marketing kicked in. WANT.

Protip: It's not subliminal if it makes spinal fluid leak out your arse a bit
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on August 25, 2019, 01:06:34 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on August 25, 2019, 10:58:50 AM
Quote from: Frontside Back on August 22, 2019, 07:12:55 AM
The subliminal marketing kicked in. WANT.

Protip: It's not subliminal if it makes spinal fluid leak out your arse a bit

:lulz: :lulz:
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Frontside Back on August 25, 2019, 09:49:49 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on August 25, 2019, 10:58:50 AM
Quote from: Frontside Back on August 22, 2019, 07:12:55 AM
The subliminal marketing kicked in. WANT.

Protip: It's not subliminal if it makes spinal fluid leak out your arse a bit

My spine isn't where you think it is.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on August 26, 2019, 09:57:55 AM
Quote from: Frontside Back on August 25, 2019, 09:49:49 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on August 25, 2019, 10:58:50 AM
Quote from: Frontside Back on August 22, 2019, 07:12:55 AM
The subliminal marketing kicked in. WANT.

Protip: It's not subliminal if it makes spinal fluid leak out your arse a bit

My spine isn't where you think it is.

That's true of most people's spines. I'm not a f'kin gynaecologist :kingmeh:
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Frontside Back on August 26, 2019, 06:14:26 PM
Okay. My patience has ran out. My glass is empty. My shoelaces tied.

If Mister Howl isn't going to deliver me the signature I am legally entitled to, I say FUCK IT, I'm not gonna sit around waiting while the world is burning around me.

Sayonara motherfuckers, I'm going to D.I.M.

I BET YOUR LAUGHING WHEN YOUR LITTLE SIGNATURE BUSINESS GOES BANKRUPT!

-furious customer
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on August 26, 2019, 08:41:16 PM
When the poster is ready, the signature appears
:america:
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Doktor Howl on August 26, 2019, 11:55:34 PM
Quote from: Frontside Back on August 26, 2019, 06:14:26 PM
Okay. My patience has ran out. My glass is empty. My shoelaces tied.

If Mister Howl isn't going to deliver me the signature I am legally entitled to, I say FUCK IT, I'm not gonna sit around waiting while the world is burning around me.

Sayonara motherfuckers, I'm going to D.I.M.

I BET YOUR LAUGHING WHEN YOUR LITTLE SIGNATURE BUSINESS GOES BANKRUPT!

-furious customer

You can't rush Holy™ and I have been busy.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Doktor Howl on August 27, 2019, 12:38:23 AM
Quote from: Frontside Back on August 22, 2019, 07:12:55 AM
The subliminal marketing kicked in. WANT.

"I want to be the Borg but I want to do it alone."
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: Frontside Back on August 27, 2019, 07:06:40 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 27, 2019, 12:38:23 AM
Quote from: Frontside Back on August 22, 2019, 07:12:55 AM
The subliminal marketing kicked in. WANT.

"I want to be the Borg but I want to do it alone."
Thanks and apologies, I've never understood busy.
Title: Re: Post in this thread, and I will give you a new sig.
Post by: altered on August 27, 2019, 08:02:21 AM
It's like this: Holy can only be in one place at a time, but thanks to bad science Dok is usually in three places at one time, and he doesn't get to pick which one gets the Holy.

We call this being busy. It is why Tucson is a pit of despair, Hell is real, and PD has insufficient Holy on weekends.