I just had a moment, a late-night overworked juxtaposition of thread titles, in which I saw a thread title as "Deluxe rape kit". And in that moment I thought, now THAT is American.
For just five dollars more, you can upgrade to a deluxe rape kit.
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :horrormirth:
CALL NOW AND WE'LL SEND A SECOND DELUXE RAPE KIT FOR FREE!!
IT CAN CUT RIGHT THROUGH A RESTRAINING ORDER, AND STILL SHOOT ROOFIES 3' INTO HER DRINK!
NOW HOW MUCH WOULD YOU PAY?
DON'T ANSWER YET, THERE'S MORE!
WE'VE GOT MORE RAPE THAN YOU CAN HANDLE!
Tired of doing rape the old way?
Chisels and bourbon? WHAT A MESS!
:lulz:
I just found out that one of the alternate names for a rape kit is "PERK kit", which seems oddly EVEN MORE INAPPROPRIATE. :horrormirth:
http://www.rainn.org/get-information/sexual-assault-recovery/rape-kit
ORDER NOW AND RECEIVE A RAPE-AXE CONDOM ABSOLUTELY FREE!
(http://img844.imageshack.us/img844/4283/antirapecondom.png)
TIRED OF THOSE HALFASSED RAPE KITS THEY USE AT THE ER? SICK OF RUNNING INTO YOUR RAPIST AT THE GROCERY STORE? GET BLUE CROSS BLUE SHIELD PLATINUM(TM) WITH THE GUARANTEED DELUXE RAPE KIT(TM) AND YOU CAN SEND A MOTHERFUCKER UP THE RIVER FOR LOOKING AT YOU SIDEWAYS!