Please disregard following paranoid ravings - Roger
First, let it be said that I did everything a man could reasonably be asked to do. I put in the time and the effort, and I screamed when it was warranted, and I was reasonable when the situation called for reason. You demanded an asshole. I was there, gaping at you like Bob Goatse. You demanded wisdom, I spouted as best as I could, but I'm a Wise Guy, not really a wise man. You told me to rant, and then decided my rants weren't "mature" enough, or something.
You demanded mirth. I tore my face of and told jokes with my bare skull hanging out. You wanted The Future™, and I gave it to you on a platter. You wanted to be entertained, I wrote some brain-damaged shit. You wanted to be REALLY ANGRY, and there I was. I have done all of this, and I have done it for you.
You told me to keep the refinery running. Somehow, through dint of excessive overtime and superhuman efforts, the damn thing still sputters along. You told me to stay in budget. I laughed until all the horror came out.
You told me that I am too LOUD, too obnoxious, and too bit dense for Discordianism (at least for YOUR Discordianism). You told me that I come off like some crazy man, that I am someone to be patted on the head and told, "Yes, yes, Roger, that's very cute, now run along". You told me that I was too weird to sit on the same side of the bus as the rest of you. You informed me that I am a bit of a clown, and that you can't be bothered because you're all grown up and serious, now. You were kind enough to merely ignore my outbursts, rather than tell me that I wasn't cool enough or smart enough to be worth your time.
You have told me all of this and more. And as much as I have tried – and I HAVE tried – I am no longer able to give a single fuck. If I do not meet your standards, then I must regretfully and sincerely not notice any further. I am not your clown. I am not anyone's clown, with the obvious exception of Jenne, my wife. For her, I will be a clown. For her, I will to whatever it takes to make her smile. Specifically, to smile at me.
For the rest of you, if I am "beneath" you, if I am not as advertised, if I come across as a clown or as too LOUD, or over the top, or childish or whatever...I guess I'll just have to adjust to that reality. So just skip over my posts if they irritate you, and I'll just keep doing my thing. My time is limited, and I must prioritize. And my priority is the woman who makes all this horrible shit worth it. So, hey, guess what? It really isn't about you, after all.
And as for The Future? It's already here. It's all around you, and it also is not as advertised. And YOU will have to adjust to that fact, whether or not you find IT annoying.
That's all.
I quite like you Roger. You research what you talk about and are quite intelligent. You are very direct, which sometimes clashes with my personality simply because I was not raised to be that way, but I honestly think it is a better way to be. It goes the same with Nigel. Keep doing what you do best and I'll keep reading.
Thanks. I was gonna keep going anyway, because I don't have any choice.
Upon further information, the problem appears to be me.
There is a solution for this, of course.
Why, with the OP firmly in place, would you conclude that the problem is you?
You, sir, make no sense. Whatsoever.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on August 10, 2012, 06:50:04 PM
Why, with the OP firmly in place, would you conclude that the problem is you?
You, sir, make no sense. Whatsoever.
I know.
But I am now operating under the "If everyone's an asshole but you, maybe you're the problem."
Example: I misunderstood NoLodude's post down in AI, thinking that he was stating that trollbear was typical of AI, and that we didn't meet his standards, rather than - I am told - him just bitching that the board was dead. As a result, Nigel is pissed off at me.
You're leaving for a week, and everyone else either has me on ignore or can't be bothered with me.
I'd say the problem here IS me, and that given that the two people who DO speak to me are either leaving or are pissed at me, there is no real percentage in continuing.
Moping doesn't become you, DOUR. You need to go do something horrible to Tucson.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on August 10, 2012, 06:58:03 PM
Moping doesn't become you, DOUR. You need to go do something horrible to Tucson.
I'm not moping so much as I'm not well. Again.
Goddammit.
You know, I say this in a very light mood, when I first got here many years ago, I didn't like Roger at all to be honest.
He was so abrasive to me at the time, it was something I couldn't handle. I ignored it, I ignored you, and looked the other way.
I then came back. I read more and am intrigued more. I would like to talk to you on a regular basis, I like your brain.
In some way before, a bit of Roger-ism helped me grow, and I am thankful for that, because it made me look at what I didn't like about myself.
I would say that even if a small percentage read and reply, keep going for them. I would be quite sad if you stopped.
I know I haven't made an impression on here in a while, and I am just getting back into the scope of things, but I do hope I count in the percentage positive. Everyone has their shit, their personality flaws, and they surface because well, we can't help it. Though I would not find it reason to stop doing. The only time someone becomes a problem is when they stop growing, and here is one of the best places to do it. Or are simply here to troll, but those are easy enough to pick out. This isn't meant to be a self esteem booster speech, this is meant to state the fact: I like your ideas, I like who you are, and even if you have no more fucks to give, I got a spare for you and almost everyone else here.
The end.
If it makes you feel any better, it's not just you.
Hell, I've also had exactly three people respond to me in the past two days. Admittedly, I have not as posted quite as much, but nevertheless...
Quote from: Cain on August 10, 2012, 07:12:03 PM
If it makes you feel any better, it's not just you.
Hell, I've also had exactly three people respond to me in the past two days. Admittedly, I have not as posted quite as much, but nevertheless...
Thanks, but it's not just PD. I've got the whole shebang. Sleep problems, arrythmia, skewed perceptions, everything (I have the sensation of looking over my own shoulder as I'm typing this). It's not as bad as the first time (none of the follow-on "attacks" have been), so I can tell what I'm doing to myself when I pay attention.
Yeah, PD is dead. Yeah, some people really do have no use for me. But the main impressions I'm getting are not to be trusted at this point.
Get to the doctor, doktor. For srs.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on August 10, 2012, 07:47:26 PM
Get to the doctor, doktor. For srs.
There's not much they can do. I've been back a few times since the original virus thingie, and he just sort of shrugs. What can you do? Brain damage doesn't get better.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on August 10, 2012, 06:50:04 PM
Why, with the OP firmly in place, would you conclude that the problem is you?
You, sir, make no sense. Whatsoever.
This.
Also, as they say in the old country... fuck em in the head if they can't take a joke.
So what do you do, then? Just mistrust yourself until it goes away?
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on August 10, 2012, 07:52:21 PM
So what do you do, then? Just mistrust yourself until it goes away?
It could be a hell of a lot worse, LMNO. Some people have to live with shit like this - or worse - permanently. The neighbor kid has MS; I have it easy.
The first time this happened, when I was actually sick, I was so deranged that I couldn't analyze what I was doing. The subsequent attacks only fool me until I have a chance to think, or until someone points it out to me. Then it becomes obvious. It's also fairly obvious when it ends.
So I spend some time - a week, maybe - having to remind myself that things are not always as they seem, then I feel better overnight.
But I gotta say, it's about as much fun as root canal work. My chest HURTS. Everything seems depressing & threatening at the same time, and it's dark out, even though the sun is bashing down like a motherfucker today.
That seriously sucks Rog.
I wonder if you are suffering an allergic reaction that aggravates the underlying damage? Does this pop up in correlation with anything environmental for you?
I only suggest this because we've been cutting wheat nearly completely out of out diet here, and my girlfriend's skin blemish occurrences have been cut in half. Seems her skin was chronically inflamed, which weakened her immune system.
Quote from: Telarus on August 10, 2012, 10:37:27 PM
That seriously sucks Rog.
I wonder if you are suffering an allergic reaction that aggravates the underlying damage? Does this pop up in correlation with anything environmental for you?
I only suggest this because we've been cutting wheat nearly completely out of out diet here, and my girlfriend's skin blemish occurrences have been cut in half. Seems her skin was chronically inflamed, which weakened her immune system.
High stress seems to bring it on, and it's been VERY stressful for the last couple of months or so.
Hope your brain chills out soon, Rog. That shit is awful.
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on August 10, 2012, 10:56:12 PM
Hope your brain chills out soon, Rog. That shit is awful.
Thanks. The whole tight chest & headache thing is particularly bad right now, but if history is any guide, I'll be feeling better in the next 2-7 days.
Jesus, Roger, that sounds horrible.
I really hope it goes away soon.
Quote from: Waffles, The Iron on August 10, 2012, 11:12:13 PM
Jesus, Roger, that sounds horrible.
I really hope it goes away soon.
Just another
few days million years.
And everyone gets their godsmacks, Waffles. Mine's not so bad.
I dont wan to start a 'DRUGZ' thread out of this, but have you considered a little of the 'stuff I will not name'? It might at least help with the headaches and stress... (It did for me)
Quote from: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on August 10, 2012, 11:30:04 PM
I dont wan to start a 'DRUGZ' thread out of this, but have you considered a little of the 'stuff I will not name'? It might at least help with the headaches and stress... (It did for me)
Naw, it would likely make the paranoia worse, and in addition, I get piss tested every month, because I work in a refinery.
Because I have to say, the chest & head pain isn't the really bad thing about this. The bad thing is constantly having to argue with your own paranoia. The good thing is that, barring the initial incident, I am able to recognize what's going on within a reasonable amount of time, especially if someone jerks me up short when I get started.
Understandable.
Well, count on PD.com to jerk you... in some sense :lulz:
Quote from: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on August 10, 2012, 11:34:02 PM
Understandable.
Well, count on PD.com to jerk you... in some sense :lulz:
It does. There's two or three people here that are really good at spotting it, based on the tone of my posts. If I'm posting weird shit, okay. If I'm hateful to people that don't warrant it, either A) they're new, or B) I'm loopy.
The fortunate thing is, this happens a LOT less than the doctors thought it would.
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 10, 2012, 11:35:45 PM
Quote from: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on August 10, 2012, 11:34:02 PM
Understandable.
Well, count on PD.com to jerk you... in some sense :lulz:
It does. There's two or three people here that are really good at spotting it, based on the tone of my posts. If I'm posting weird shit, okay. If I'm hateful to people that don't warrant it, either A) they're new, or B) I'm loopy.
The fortunate thing is, this happens a LOT less than the doctors thought it would.
Well the good news is that new people dont really count as real people anyway.
Agree with the above comments from everyone else. Hope everything chills out soon and you feel better.
Quote from: Placid Dingo on August 10, 2012, 11:49:36 PM
Well the good news is that new people dont really count as real people anyway.
Um, what? :?
Quote from: Placid Dingo on August 10, 2012, 11:49:36 PM
Agree with the above comments from everyone else. Hope everything chills out soon and you feel better.
Thanks.
Just casual noob bashing for comic effect.
I'm running a fever right now so it is possible that the comment made no sense.
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 10, 2012, 06:53:44 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on August 10, 2012, 06:50:04 PM
Why, with the OP firmly in place, would you conclude that the problem is you?
You, sir, make no sense. Whatsoever.
I know.
But I am now operating under the "If everyone's an asshole but you, maybe you're the problem."
Example: I misunderstood NoLodude's post down in AI, thinking that he was stating that trollbear was typical of AI, and that we didn't meet his standards, rather than - I am told - him just bitching that the board was dead. As a result, Nigel is pissed off at me.
You're leaving for a week, and everyone else either has me on ignore or can't be bothered with me.
I'd say the problem here IS me, and that given that the two people who DO speak to me are either leaving or are pissed at me, there is no real percentage in continuing.
I'm not pissed at you! I was annoyed, but you know how I am... if I'm annoyed, I say something, and then it's done and out of my system and I'm not annoyed anymore.
It's gonna be a long, dead weekend on the board, I think... whatever you do, don't take it personally! It's a weekend in August and we just had a jammin' week full of really good conversations, and now everyone's going to want/need to take a break.
I'll be working on finals. D:
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 10, 2012, 11:32:50 PM
Because I have to say, the chest & head pain isn't the really bad thing about this. The bad thing is constantly having to argue with your own paranoia. The good thing is that, barring the initial incident, I am able to recognize what's going on within a reasonable amount of time, especially if someone jerks me up short when I get started.
I was under the impression that chest pain is very, very serious. Your doc said you shouldn't worry about it?
I'm sorry to hear about all this, and hope it clears up soon. Would mailing you something horrendous help at all?
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 10, 2012, 08:00:18 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on August 10, 2012, 07:52:21 PM
So what do you do, then? Just mistrust yourself until it goes away?
It could be a hell of a lot worse, LMNO. Some people have to live with shit like this - or worse - permanently. The neighbor kid has MS; I have it easy.
The first time this happened, when I was actually sick, I was so deranged that I couldn't analyze what I was doing. The subsequent attacks only fool me until I have a chance to think, or until someone points it out to me. Then it becomes obvious. It's also fairly obvious when it ends.
So I spend some time - a week, maybe - having to remind myself that things are not always as they seem, then I feel better overnight.
But I gotta say, it's about as much fun as root canal work. My chest HURTS. Everything seems depressing & threatening at the same time, and it's dark out, even though the sun is bashing down like a motherfucker today.
It still gives me chills to remember
recognizing what was going on with you when you got sick as some kind of temporal lobe damage... I mean, holy fuck, just your description above is making the hair on my arms stand up. That shit is no kind of joke. And it's chilling as fuck to realize that different monkeys of different sexes in different locations can have the same perceptions and emotions just because God is poking them in the same part of the brain with a pin.
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 10, 2012, 05:00:40 PM
You told me that I am too LOUD, too obnoxious, and too bit dense for Discordianism (at least for YOUR Discordianism).
God DAMMIT, I can't take a break from this place for a day.
Who's the moron?
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 10, 2012, 11:32:50 PM
Because I have to say, the chest & head pain isn't the really bad thing about this. The bad thing is constantly having to argue with your own paranoia. The good thing is that, barring the initial incident, I am able to recognize what's going on within a reasonable amount of time, especially if someone jerks me up short when I get started.
Have you had your blood pressure checked lately? Stress, arrhythmia, and high blood pressure play a role in my seizure clusters, and ever since I went on blood pressure meds I haven't had any.
Also, since symptoms for temporal lobe seizures and heart attacks are almost identical, it might be worth going in. Just in case.
Quote from: Dear Departed Uncle Nigel on August 11, 2012, 01:36:50 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 10, 2012, 08:00:18 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on August 10, 2012, 07:52:21 PM
So what do you do, then? Just mistrust yourself until it goes away?
It could be a hell of a lot worse, LMNO. Some people have to live with shit like this - or worse - permanently. The neighbor kid has MS; I have it easy.
The first time this happened, when I was actually sick, I was so deranged that I couldn't analyze what I was doing. The subsequent attacks only fool me until I have a chance to think, or until someone points it out to me. Then it becomes obvious. It's also fairly obvious when it ends.
So I spend some time - a week, maybe - having to remind myself that things are not always as they seem, then I feel better overnight.
But I gotta say, it's about as much fun as root canal work. My chest HURTS. Everything seems depressing & threatening at the same time, and it's dark out, even though the sun is bashing down like a motherfucker today.
It still gives me chills to remember recognizing what was going on with you when you got sick as some kind of temporal lobe damage... I mean, holy fuck, just your description above is making the hair on my arms stand up. That shit is no kind of joke. And it's chilling as fuck to realize that different monkeys of different sexes in different locations can have the same perceptions and emotions just because God is poking them in the same part of the brain with a pin.
OUCH. Fuck God.
Yeah, get it checked. Go to somebody else if you think this guy is shining you on. Don't eat fast food crap, watch the scripts, one of those might be causing side effects, be careful. [/common sense]
If it was me I'd just knock myself out for a couple of days until it passed. Fuck.
Still got the headache and chest thingie, but otherwise much better now.
Quote from: Dear Departed Uncle Nigel on August 11, 2012, 01:36:50 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 10, 2012, 08:00:18 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on August 10, 2012, 07:52:21 PM
So what do you do, then? Just mistrust yourself until it goes away?
It could be a hell of a lot worse, LMNO. Some people have to live with shit like this - or worse - permanently. The neighbor kid has MS; I have it easy.
The first time this happened, when I was actually sick, I was so deranged that I couldn't analyze what I was doing. The subsequent attacks only fool me until I have a chance to think, or until someone points it out to me. Then it becomes obvious. It's also fairly obvious when it ends.
So I spend some time - a week, maybe - having to remind myself that things are not always as they seem, then I feel better overnight.
But I gotta say, it's about as much fun as root canal work. My chest HURTS. Everything seems depressing & threatening at the same time, and it's dark out, even though the sun is bashing down like a motherfucker today.
It still gives me chills to remember recognizing what was going on with you when you got sick as some kind of temporal lobe damage... I mean, holy fuck, just your description above is making the hair on my arms stand up. That shit is no kind of joke. And it's chilling as fuck to realize that different monkeys of different sexes in different locations can have the same perceptions and emotions just because God is poking them in the same part of the brain with a pin.
Yeah, but again...There are many, many worse things that people deal with.
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 12, 2012, 04:37:52 AM
Quote from: Dear Departed Uncle Nigel on August 11, 2012, 01:36:50 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 10, 2012, 08:00:18 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on August 10, 2012, 07:52:21 PM
So what do you do, then? Just mistrust yourself until it goes away?
It could be a hell of a lot worse, LMNO. Some people have to live with shit like this - or worse - permanently. The neighbor kid has MS; I have it easy.
The first time this happened, when I was actually sick, I was so deranged that I couldn't analyze what I was doing. The subsequent attacks only fool me until I have a chance to think, or until someone points it out to me. Then it becomes obvious. It's also fairly obvious when it ends.
So I spend some time - a week, maybe - having to remind myself that things are not always as they seem, then I feel better overnight.
But I gotta say, it's about as much fun as root canal work. My chest HURTS. Everything seems depressing & threatening at the same time, and it's dark out, even though the sun is bashing down like a motherfucker today.
It still gives me chills to remember recognizing what was going on with you when you got sick as some kind of temporal lobe damage... I mean, holy fuck, just your description above is making the hair on my arms stand up. That shit is no kind of joke. And it's chilling as fuck to realize that different monkeys of different sexes in different locations can have the same perceptions and emotions just because God is poking them in the same part of the brain with a pin.
Yeah, but again...There are many, many worse things that people deal with.
True enough.
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 12, 2012, 04:36:58 AM
Still got the headache and chest thingie, but otherwise much better now.
That's good news.
I don't have anything to relate it too in my personal experience but particularly nasty bouts of PMS, or coming down from an idiotically reckless weekend. The feeling where anything moving in my peripheral vision was a threat and I viscerally wanted to stabbity-stabbity until it STOPPED MOVING AND LEFT ME THE FUCK ALONE, except I KNEW it was all in my head. Which was probably the Baby Disney
(TM) version.
I just hope you find some way to get rid of it. You're one of a small handful of people I've met who have no need of Lessons In What Hell Is, in ANY way, shape or form.
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on August 12, 2012, 09:33:35 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 12, 2012, 04:36:58 AM
Still got the headache and chest thingie, but otherwise much better now.
That's good news.
I don't have anything to relate it too in my personal experience but particularly nasty bouts of PMS, or coming down from an idiotically reckless weekend. The feeling where anything moving in my peripheral vision was a threat and I viscerally wanted to stabbity-stabbity until it STOPPED MOVING AND LEFT ME THE FUCK ALONE, except I KNEW it was all in my head. Which was probably the Baby Disney(TM) version.
I just hope you find some way to get rid of it. You're one of a small handful of people I've met who have no need of Lessons In What Hell Is, in ANY way, shape or form.
The Hell is largely of my own making...Not the illness that fucked me up, but my life experiences, which were in a fairly large sense a set of decisions made at a young age with no moral compass. Had to gain THAT the hard way.
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 12, 2012, 09:44:00 PM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on August 12, 2012, 09:33:35 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 12, 2012, 04:36:58 AM
Still got the headache and chest thingie, but otherwise much better now.
That's good news.
I don't have anything to relate it too in my personal experience but particularly nasty bouts of PMS, or coming down from an idiotically reckless weekend. The feeling where anything moving in my peripheral vision was a threat and I viscerally wanted to stabbity-stabbity until it STOPPED MOVING AND LEFT ME THE FUCK ALONE, except I KNEW it was all in my head. Which was probably the Baby Disney(TM) version.
I just hope you find some way to get rid of it. You're one of a small handful of people I've met who have no need of Lessons In What Hell Is, in ANY way, shape or form.
The Hell is largely of my own making...Not the illness that fucked me up, but my life experiences, which were in a fairly large sense a set of decisions made at a young age with no moral compass. Had to gain THAT the hard way.
That was then. You GET IT now.