A DAY IN THE LIFE OF JOE REPUBLICAN
Joe gets up at 6 AM and fills his coffee pot with water to prepare
his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some
tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his first swallow of coffee, he takes his daily medication. His medications
are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to insure
their safety and that they work as advertised.
All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's
medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance -- now Joe gets it too.
He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is
safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate
the meat packing industry.
In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. The bottle is
properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total
contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know
what he was putting on his body and how much it contained.
Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he
breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for
laws to stop industries from polluting the air.
He walks to the subway station for his government subsidized ride
to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and
transportation fees because some fancy pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a
contributor.
Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay,
medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards.
Joe's employer pays the same standards because Joe's employer
doesn't want his employees to call the union. If Joe is hurt on the job or
becomes unemployed, he'll get a workers' compensation or
unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn't think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.
Its noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay
some bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because
some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous
conservative bankers who ruined the banking system before the
Great Depression.
Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his
below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal
decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime.
Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening
at his farm home in the country. He gets into his car for the drive. His
car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating
liberal fought for car safety standards. He arrives at his boyhood home.
His was the third generation to live in the house financed by
Farmer's Home Administration because bankers didn't want to make rural
loans. The house didn't have electricity until some big-government
liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification. He is happy to see his father, who is now retired.
His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because
some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care
of himself so Joe wouldn't have to.
Joe gets back into his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio
talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and
conservatives are good. He doesn't mention that the beloved
Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys
throughout his day. Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all I'm a self-made man who believes
everyone should take care of himself, just like I have."
errr egg salad///??
well said, NPR...now if ony you had hot topless sorority girls begging me for donations during your telethon, I might begin to think about sending you a check....
8)
Me, too...... but I'd rather have hot topless fraternity guys ask me for the donation.
I want full frontal, Bella.
Quote from: Slartibartfast++errr egg salad///??
Chicken salad, with barbecue sauce, served by a nude waitress.
Quote from: Bob the MediocreQuote from: Slartibartfast++errr egg salad///??
Chicken salad, with barbecue sauce, served by a nude waitress.
I think you can leave away the salad and the sauce.
On second thought barbecue sauce sounds goood.
Naked sorority girls in barbecue sauce? Ok, coming right up....
With a side of hot boys and hot fudge for dessert, of course. On tonight's menu we have:
Orlando Bloom
Brad Pitt
Hugh Grant
Paul McGann
Alan Rickman
Ian Roberts
Colin Firth
Rupert Everett(for the boys)
and Dylan McDermott
Did I forget anyone?
Quote from: agent compassionWith a side of hot boys and hot fudge for dessert, of course. On tonight's menu we have:
Orlando Bloom
Brad Pitt
Hugh Grant
Paul McGann
Alan Rickman
Ian Roberts
Colin Firth
Rupert Everett(for the boys)
and Dylan McDermott
Did I forget anyone?
Some disturbed people prefer Sean Connery. Although I think it's for his voice, and I guess I can understand that. Sean Connery can narrate and do the actual asking :wink:
Quote from: agent compassionWith a side of hot boys and hot fudge for dessert, of course. On tonight's menu we have:
Orlando Bloom
Brad Pitt
Hugh Grant
Paul McGann
Alan Rickman
Ian Roberts
Colin Firth
Rupert Everett(for the boys)
and Dylan McDermott
Did I forget anyone?
Jeezus...is that
really what women find attractive? ya know, this may mean I'm hopelessly fucked, but at least I can blame it on y'alls bad taste...
8)
Quote from: Turd Ferguson
Jeezus...is that really what women find attractive? ya know, this may mean I'm hopelessly fucked, but at least I can blame it on y'alls bad taste...
8)
I don't find those men attractive.
Don't even know who most of them are, actually.
Only Brad Pitt and Hugh Grant ring a bell.....and they don't ring
my bell, if you know what I mean.
Me, I liked the guy who played the Uruk-hai Captain in the Fellowship of the Ring. He had a nice body. And you know, there are incredible leaps of innovations happening in dentistry nowadays!
Amazing what can happen with a bar of soap and some veneers...
I would keep Alan Rickman, and Colin Firth on the list. Strike Orlando Bloom, though - I mean, bad enough he played an elf, but he's a pansy in all his other movies, too.
And Rupert Everett, I think, is gay. He'd appreciate the list more than he'd appreciate being ON the list, yeah.
good looks don't make teh ladies scream for more...
:mrgreen:
Quote from: horab9good looks don't make teh ladies scream for more...
:mrgreen:
Nope, but giving them string when they're about to fall of a waterfall does.
rofl
Ok, frankly, I only like about 4 of these guys myself, but I'm not sure of what y'all want. I was guessing....
*burps, wipes bbq sauce off his mouth*
But your taste in sorority girls is all right.
:-D
::stunned you forgot Johnny Depp::
and Dave Navarro...WTF? I'm about as hetero as it gets, and I'd make out with Dave Navarro....
8)
Johnny Depp + Orlando Bloom = TWO pansies
Quote from: EraPassingJohnny Depp + Orlando Bloom = TWO pansies
Considering Turd and I are both guys, that's kind of the point....
OMG, I totally forgot Johnny!
(http://www.alicia-logic.com/capsimages/pc_027JohnnyDepp.jpg)
(http://web103.server-drom.de/00000000/bild/index2.jpg)
:D
Quote from: EraPassingJohnny Depp + Orlando Bloom = TWO pansies
Ungh?
Depp is probably the best working actor today.
The hotness of any given actor is not necessarily dependant on his acting ability.
I don't think that Desmond Harrington could act his way out of a wet paper sack, but he is undeniably hot. On the other hand, Ian McKellan can act quite well, but I'd never consider having sex with him.
I know you guys can understand this - Jennifer Love Hewitt and Pamela Anderson can't act, either.
The enjoyability of any given character is also not necessarily dependant on the hotness of the actor portraying that character.
Example: I enjoyed the character of Gollum very much, but I am not tempted to have sex with the computer.
I would also like to add now that the guy who played the elf Haldir in the LotR's first two movies is the only actor whose hotness was so outstanding that I actually could overlook the fact that he was playing an elf. This is why "Haldir" is the only elf I can bring myself to not sneer at.
All other elves suck, though.
Quote from: EraPassing
I know you guys can understand this - Jennifer Love Hewitt and Pamela Anderson can't act, either.
I honestly never noticed. :lol:
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: EraPassing
I know you guys can understand this - Jennifer Love Hewitt and Pamela Anderson can't act, either.
I honestly never noticed. :lol:
I never for a moment thought that you would have.
Quote from: EraPassingQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: EraPassing
I know you guys can understand this - Jennifer Love Hewitt and Pamela Anderson can't act, either.
I honestly never noticed. :lol:
I never for a moment thought that you would have.
Watcha tryin' to say? :?
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: EraPassingQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: EraPassing
I know you guys can understand this - Jennifer Love Hewitt and Pamela Anderson can't act, either.
I honestly never noticed. :lol:
I never for a moment thought that you would have.
Watcha tryin' to say? :?
Nothing bad - after all, that would be hypocritical of me. Personally, I think that the only value in any cinematic production lies in either the hotness of the actors, or the number of the explosions. The more of either, the better the movie.
Quote from: EraPassingQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: EraPassingQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: EraPassing
I know you guys can understand this - Jennifer Love Hewitt and Pamela Anderson can't act, either.
I honestly never noticed. :lol:
I never for a moment thought that you would have.
Watcha tryin' to say? :?
Nothing bad - after all, that would be hypocritical of me. Personally, I think that the only value in any cinematic production lies in either the hotness of the actors, or the number of the explosions. The more of either, the better the movie.
Car chases and psychos don't hurt, either.
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: EraPassingQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: EraPassingQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: EraPassing
I know you guys can understand this - Jennifer Love Hewitt and Pamela Anderson can't act, either.
I honestly never noticed. :lol:
I never for a moment thought that you would have.
Watcha tryin' to say? :?
Nothing bad - after all, that would be hypocritical of me. Personally, I think that the only value in any cinematic production lies in either the hotness of the actors, or the number of the explosions. The more of either, the better the movie.
Car chases and psychos don't hurt, either.
TROOF!
EraPassing,
Embraces her inner male
oh, look...you've got her trained...how cute....
8)
Turd Ferguson,
Wants to be Sick
Turd's just pissed because I love Rog and not him.
EraPassing,
Loves her some Rog
Quote from: Turd Fergusonoh, look...you've got her trained...how cute....
8)
Turd Ferguson,
Wants to be Sick
Apparently you have me mistaken for The Good Reverend Jim Jones.
Rev Roger,
Thinks you should stop hatin' and learn to love "Bob".
Quote from: EraPassingTurd's just pissed because I love Rog and not him.
EraPassing,
Loves her some Rog
That's a relief. I thought it was the other way around.
(http://bbs.fuckedcompany.com/icons/gay.gif)
(http://bbs.fuckedcompany.com/icons/lol.gif)(http://bbs.fuckedcompany.com/icons/pipe.gif)
naahh...I'm thrilled to see you two have found each other actually...I just didn't want to walk in on it, ya know? s'my bad anyway...I should have knocked....
8)
Rog, I'm not afraid of admitting a certain fondness of cracking jokes with you, and in some cases, about you.
I know, and everyone else knows, you love me, too.
Quote from: Turd Fergusonnaahh...I'm thrilled to see you two have found each other actually...I just didn't want to walk in on it, ya know? s'my bad anyway...I should have knocked....
8)
Great, just close the closet door on your way out.
TIA.
Quote from: EraPassingRog, I'm not afraid of admitting a certain fondness of cracking jokes with you, and in some cases, about you.
I know, and everyone else knows, you love me, too.
I am SUCH a slut. (http://bbs.fuckedcompany.com/icons/cry.gif)
The Good Rev,
Needs to google something. Be right back.
All Of The Young Girls Love Rev Roger
by Elton John
Album : Goodbye Yellow Brick Road
Raised to be a Discordian,
by the golden rule;
Rev Roger was the spawn,
of a public school.
With a double-barrel'd name,
in the back of his brain;
and a simple case of "Mummy doesn't love me blues."
Reality it seemed,
was just a dream;
he couldn't get it on,
with the parairie squid on the scene;
but what do you expect,
from a dude who'll never again see sixteen;
but hey, hey, hey (hey, hey, hey),
you know what I mean.
Chorus:
All of the young girls love Rev Roger,
"Tender young Rev Roger," they say;
come over and see me,
come over and please me.
Roger, it's my turn today.
All of the young girls love Rev Roger,
"Tender young Rev Roger," they say;
if I give you my number,
will you promise to call me?
Wait 'till my husband's away.
Poor little darlin',
with a chip out of his heart;
it's like actin' in a movie,
when you've got the wrong part;
and getting your kicks,
in another girl's bed;
and it was only last Tuesday,
they found you in the subway dead.
And who could you call your friends down in Soho?
One or two middle aged subgeniuses in the A-Go-Go.
But what do you expect, from an old subgenius yo-yo;
and hey, hey, hey (hey, hey, hey)
oh, don't you know?
Chorus
Apologies to Elton John
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger
Apologies to Elton John
*thinks the Rev has it backwards. Elton John should have to apologize to us.*
8)
Quote from: Turd FergusonQuote from: The Good Reverend Roger
Apologies to Elton John
*thinks the Rev has it backwards. Elton John should have to apologize to us.*
8)
Not really. I mangled the hell out of that song, for my own insidious purposes.
yeah, I know...I meant he should apologize to us for his entire career...
8)
I like Elton John.
Quote from: Turd Fergusonyeah, I know...I meant he should apologize to us for his entire career...
8)
YUO = 1 heathen.
How can you not like "Border Song", or "Social Disease"?
Please amend that to "yeah, I know...I meant he should apologize to us for his entire career...AFTER 1984."
Rev Roger,
Doesn't like him much since '84, either.
I like his newer stuff better than his old stuff.
I especially love his Disney soundtracks.
Quote from: EraPassingI like his newer stuff better than his old stuff.
I especially love his Disney soundtracks.
Unnnngh?
I prefer "Don't Kill Me, I'm Only The Piano Player", etc.
sorry, Rog, you'll get no qualifying appendages from me...IMHO, he flat-out sucked the whole time...not entirely his fault though...it's not like he wrote any of his songs....
8)
Hey! Don't drag the Bernie into this! He's a great songwriter!
Quote from: EraPassingHey! Don't drag the Bernie into this! He's a great songwriter!
Who would win in a fight? Bernie Taupin or Leonard Cohen?
Quote from: Turd Fergusonsorry, Rog, you'll get no qualifying appendages from me...IMHO, he flat-out sucked the whole time...not entirely his fault though...it's not like he wrote any of his songs....
8)
YUO WILL PAY, COME THA REVOLUTION!
YUO --->(http://bbs.fuckedcompany.com/icons/punchballs.gif)(http://bbs.fuckedcompany.com/icons/kill.gif)<---Angry hordes of mullet-wearing revolutionaries.
*thinks that he will hardly care whether or not he gets shot if he's already smashing his own nutsack*
8)
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: EraPassingHey! Don't drag the Bernie into this! He's a great songwriter!
Who would win in a fight? Bernie Taupin or Leonard Cohen?
*waffles with the uncertainty of who Leonard Cohen is*
:shock:
Quote from: Turd Ferguson*thinks that he will hardly care whether or not he gets shot if he's already smashing his own nutsack*
8)
That is only the beginning of the woe that will befall you, oh heathen!
Rev Roger,
Is fixin' to sicc some bad juju on ya!
Rog, you know I like you, but I'm gonna have to call you on this one..so far, none of your threats of impending doom have come true while I've been watching...
8)
Quote from: Turd FergusonRog, you know I like you, but I'm gonna have to call you on this one..so far, none of your threats of impending doom have come true while I've been watching...
8)
Oh, yeah? Please refer to my threads concerning the election, or any sermons 1-25.
OWNED!
The rest, well, I always WANT to bring the doom, but then I get distracted by shiny stuff, and wind up slacking off.
Rev Roger,
Is at least
consistent.
Quote from: Turd Ferguson:shock:
I have this image of the sunglasses being popped off and resting below the smilie.
Quote from: EraPassingQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: EraPassingHey! Don't drag the Bernie into this! He's a great songwriter!
Who would win in a fight? Bernie Taupin or Leonard Cohen?
*waffles with the uncertainty of who Leonard Cohen is*
UNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGH?
Ye GAWDS! Is such ignorance POSSIBLE?
Cripes! Quick, google "lyrics Leonard Cohen" before it's too late!
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: Turd FergusonRog, you know I like you, but I'm gonna have to call you on this one..so far, none of your threats of impending doom have come true while I've been watching...
8)
Oh, yeah? Please refer to my threads concerning the election, or any sermons 1-25.
OWNED!
The rest, well, I always WANT to bring the doom, but then I get distracted by shiny stuff, and wind up slacking off.
Rev Roger,
Is at least consistent.
as far as the election threads, I have yet to see any evidence of wahtever doomsday plan you cooked up coming to any sort of fruition...unless your plan was to ensure the re-election of Emperor Fuckbag, which you specifically denied in another post...as for sermons, well, I didn't really notice any doom being threatened in most of them, other than in a very general, "agree to our demands or we will destroy you!" kind of way...but hey, I like you anyway, and I think reading your posts is far better than watching the idiot box, and hell, who doesn't get distracted by a little bling from time to time? Anyway, as long as you keep owning the tards around here, I'll be perfectly content with vague implications of doomsaying...
8)
and if you ever really decide to bring the doom, please lemme know? I at least want front row seats...
Quote from: Turd FergusonQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: Turd FergusonRog, you know I like you, but I'm gonna have to call you on this one..so far, none of your threats of impending doom have come true while I've been watching...
8)
Oh, yeah? Please refer to my threads concerning the election, or any sermons 1-25.
OWNED!
The rest, well, I always WANT to bring the doom, but then I get distracted by shiny stuff, and wind up slacking off.
Rev Roger,
Is at least consistent.
as far as the election threads, I have yet to see any evidence of wahtever doomsday plan you cooked up coming to any sort of fruition...unless your plan was to ensure the re-election of Emperor Fuckbag, which you specifically denied in another post...as for sermons, well, I didn't really notice any doom being threatened in most of them, other than in a very general, "agree to our demands or we will destroy you!" kind of way...but hey, I like you anyway, and I think reading your posts is far better than watching the idiot box, and hell, who doesn't get distracted by a little bling from time to time? Anyway, as long as you keep owning the tards around here, I'll be perfectly content with vague implications of doomsaying...
8)
and if you ever really decide to bring the doom, please lemme know? I at least want front row seats...
Not THAT election thread. That was a jake that didn't work out. I mean the threads predicting King George's second term, and how Ashcroft was a PIKER, compared to whomever would follow after him.
I'm batting a thousand, so far. If they float a draft by the end of January, I'll have hit the trifecta.
As for our demands, you WILL eventually agree to them. Or else.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger
Cripes! Quick, google "lyrics Leonard Cohen" before it's too late!
I tried that already - I still don't recognize anything he did.
Quote from: EraPassingQuote from: The Good Reverend Roger
Cripes! Quick, google "lyrics Leonard Cohen" before it's too late!
I tried that already - I still don't recognize anything he did.
Not even "Everybody Knows"? :shock:
Sorry. :?
::Shakes his head sadly::
Kids these days. Don't even know the guy who wrote Hallelujah.
Next they will be saying Bob Who?
Quote from: gnimbley::Shakes his head sadly::
Kids these days. Don't even know the guy who wrote Hallelujah.
Next they will be saying Bob Who?
SHHHHHH!
That's bordering on heretical questioneering.
Quote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSCQuote from: gnimbley::Shakes his head sadly::
Kids these days. Don't even know the guy who wrote Hallelujah.
Next they will be saying Bob Who?
SHHHHHH!
That's bordering on heretical questioneering.
Well, shut my mouth!
::slaps himself in the face::
::falls down::
Side Note: Bernie Taupin never wrote any "songs". He wrote the lyrics, which in this case equates to "really crappy poetry." Elton wrote the music.
Double side note: Did you know that Taupin wrote the lyrics to Starship's "We Built This City"?
Yall aren't good enough to appreciate the artistry that is Bernie.
Ah yes, he who gave us such classic lines as:
"marconi plays the mamba."
Quote from: LMNOSide Note: Bernie Taupin never wrote any "songs". He wrote the lyrics, which in this case equates to "really crappy poetry." Elton wrote the music.
huh...learn something new every day...although that just strengthens my position that E.J. should apologize to us for his entire career....
Quote from: LMNODouble side note: Did you know that Taupin wrote the lyrics to Starship's "We Built This City"?
for
that, he should be dragged out into the street and shot in the face...
8)
Quote from: Turd FergusonQuote from: LMNODouble side note: Did you know that Taupin wrote the lyrics to Starship's "We Built This City"?
for that, he should be dragged out into the street and shot in the face...
8)
::hides his copy::
I didn't say anything.
Quote from: gnimbleyQuote from: Turd FergusonQuote from: LMNODouble side note: Did you know that Taupin wrote the lyrics to Starship's "We Built This City"?
for that, he should be dragged out into the street and shot in the face...
8)
::hides his copy::
I didn't say anything.
He should be skull fucked before being shot, and before that, he should have his skin sliced with a thousand razors cuts, and before that he should have his toes burned, and before that....
hah! I just wanted to post after Hugh without getting stabbed....
8)
*stabs the previous poster*
JJJJJJIIIIIIIIIIIHHHHHHAAAAAAADDDDD!!!!!!
Kallisti!
Kratisti!