Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: HandsomeGirl on August 24, 2012, 02:07:47 AM

Title: A burning question
Post by: HandsomeGirl on August 24, 2012, 02:07:47 AM
Why do you think it is one never hears of anyone spontaneously combusting anymore?

Alien intervention?  Better healthcare?  Corporate lobbying?  Maybe it was a ruse in the first place...

Whatever the reason, it's been plaguing me for all of an hour or so.
Title: Re: A burning question
Post by: Eater of Clowns on August 24, 2012, 02:09:37 AM
We have the Internet and so we aren't plugged up with blood and shit and semen and bile until we blow up because we fling it at each other in sticky little bombs regularly.
Title: Re: A burning question
Post by: AFK on August 24, 2012, 02:18:47 AM
Because despite,popular opinion, we are actually in a period of Global Cooling.  It makes spontaneous combusting a bit more challenging.
Title: Re: A burning question
Post by: Luna on August 24, 2012, 02:28:27 AM
Quote from: HandsomeGirl on August 24, 2012, 02:07:47 AM
Why do you think it is one never hears of anyone spontaneously combusting anymore?

Alien intervention?  Better healthcare?  Corporate lobbying?  Maybe it was a ruse in the first place...

Whatever the reason, it's been plaguing me for all of an hour or so.

Because Nigel has moved on to flensing.
Title: Re: A burning question
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on August 24, 2012, 02:31:03 AM
Quote from: Luna on August 24, 2012, 02:28:27 AM
Quote from: HandsomeGirl on August 24, 2012, 02:07:47 AM
Why do you think it is one never hears of anyone spontaneously combusting anymore?

Alien intervention?  Better healthcare?  Corporate lobbying?  Maybe it was a ruse in the first place...

Whatever the reason, it's been plaguing me for all of an hour or so.

Because Nigel has moved on to flensing.

:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Title: Re: A burning question
Post by: HandsomeGirl on August 24, 2012, 02:37:55 AM
I'm inclined to think it's because people have less inner conflict now-a-days.
Title: Re: A burning question
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on August 24, 2012, 04:26:46 AM
Quote from: Luna on August 24, 2012, 02:28:27 AM
Quote from: HandsomeGirl on August 24, 2012, 02:07:47 AM
Why do you think it is one never hears of anyone spontaneously combusting anymore?

Alien intervention?  Better healthcare?  Corporate lobbying?  Maybe it was a ruse in the first place...

Whatever the reason, it's been plaguing me for all of an hour or so.

Because Nigel has moved on to flensing.

:lulz:
Title: Re: A burning question
Post by: EK WAFFLR on August 24, 2012, 08:52:10 AM
Quote from: Luna on August 24, 2012, 02:28:27 AM
Quote from: HandsomeGirl on August 24, 2012, 02:07:47 AM
Why do you think it is one never hears of anyone spontaneously combusting anymore?

Alien intervention?  Better healthcare?  Corporate lobbying?  Maybe it was a ruse in the first place...

Whatever the reason, it's been plaguing me for all of an hour or so.

Because Nigel has moved on to flensing.


:lulz:


Also: http://www.newscientist.com/blogs/nstv/2012/08/pig-ash-could-reveal-how-people-spontaneously-combust.html?DCMP=OTC-rss&nsref=online-news
Title: Re: A burning question
Post by: Cain on August 24, 2012, 09:36:18 AM
They've all been reclassified as failed acts of terrorism and suicide bombing.
Title: Re: A burning question
Post by: HandsomeGirl on August 24, 2012, 01:33:30 PM
Waffles - That article is far more helpful than anything I found and I thank you, but I still can't find documentation of any recent cases, which now flabbergasts me more as I know people who have tried that form of dieting.  Maybe there was one in one of the article links, but I'll have to make an ccount for that, but I'm not making an account for anything hungover at 7:30 in the morning, so I'll get back to that.
On a side note, I will now urge everyone I hate to try ketosis dieting.

Also, I will stay away from Nigel unless I desire firey death.  Which I might, someday.
Title: Re: A burning question
Post by: hooplala on August 24, 2012, 01:59:24 PM
Didn't they find a connection between so-called "spontaneous" combustion and Entertainment Tonight co-anchor Mary Hart's voice?  Something about the pitch or something made people watching burst into flames.  I'm sure I read that somewhere.
Title: Re: A burning question
Post by: LMNO on August 24, 2012, 02:08:04 PM
I saw it in a documentary.
Title: Re: A burning question
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 24, 2012, 04:53:31 PM
Quote from: HandsomeGirl on August 24, 2012, 02:07:47 AM
Why do you think it is one never hears of anyone spontaneously combusting anymore?


Because it turned out to be bullshit.  Some "scientists" figured it out.  These are the same sorts of assholes that fucked up Loch Ness and similar shit.  I hate them, and want to throw them in the choppy grindy burny thing.
Title: Re: A burning question
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on August 24, 2012, 04:54:52 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 24, 2012, 04:53:31 PM
Quote from: HandsomeGirl on August 24, 2012, 02:07:47 AM
Why do you think it is one never hears of anyone spontaneously combusting anymore?


Because it turned out to be bullshit.  Some "scientists" figured it out.  These are the same sorts of assholes that fucked up Loch Ness and similar shit.  I hate them, and want to throw them in the choppy grindy burny thing.

FUCKING "SCIENTISTS"! ALWAYS RUINING THE FUN.  :argh!:
Title: Re: A burning question
Post by: tyrannosaurus vex on August 24, 2012, 04:55:27 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 24, 2012, 04:53:31 PM
Quote from: HandsomeGirl on August 24, 2012, 02:07:47 AM
Why do you think it is one never hears of anyone spontaneously combusting anymore?


Because it turned out to be bullshit.  Some "scientists" figured it out.  These are the same sorts of assholes that fucked up Loch Ness and similar shit.  I hate them, and want to throw them in the choppy grindy burny thing.

If it's bullshit... then my Great Aunt Gertrude didn't spontaneously combust?

How does this affect the consolation value of the insurance money they paid to Great Uncle Pete?
Title: Re: A burning question
Post by: HandsomeGirl on August 24, 2012, 05:01:12 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 24, 2012, 04:53:31 PM
Quote from: HandsomeGirl on August 24, 2012, 02:07:47 AM
Why do you think it is one never hears of anyone spontaneously combusting anymore?


Because it turned out to be bullshit.  Some "scientists" figured it out.  These are the same sorts of assholes that fucked up Loch Ness and similar shit.  I hate them, and want to throw them in the choppy grindy burny thing.

I want a choppy grindy burny thing.  I think I have a new DIY project for today.
Title: Re: A burning question
Post by: Enrico Salazar on August 24, 2012, 05:14:51 PM
Oh.  Enrico was think this thread was for ask him question.  Enrico have advice column of same name in early 1980s.
Title: Re: A burning question
Post by: tyrannosaurus vex on August 24, 2012, 05:15:06 PM
<swoon>
Title: Re: A burning question
Post by: Luna on August 24, 2012, 05:38:57 PM
Quote from: HandsomeGirl on August 24, 2012, 05:01:12 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 24, 2012, 04:53:31 PM
Quote from: HandsomeGirl on August 24, 2012, 02:07:47 AM
Why do you think it is one never hears of anyone spontaneously combusting anymore?


Because it turned out to be bullshit.  Some "scientists" figured it out.  These are the same sorts of assholes that fucked up Loch Ness and similar shit.  I hate them, and want to throw them in the choppy grindy burny thing.

I want a choppy grindy burny thing.  I think I have a new DIY project for today.

Which way does the line form to use the choppy grindy burny thing?  I have some... volunteers...  For SCIENCE!