We in the Best of the One True Churches™ occasionally develop a pretty high opinion of ourselves. We assume that because we can laugh at horror, we're somehow smarter than the average monkey. This is of course patently false...I'm a dumbass, and so are you.
No, what makes us different is that we GIVE A SHIT. After all, if you don't give a shit, then what is the point of learning to think clearly in the first fucking place? If you DON'T give a shit, then – and this is only my humble opinion – perhaps you would be better served by joining the Calvinists and shitting on people from a great height. It's your soul.
Now, 99% of the time that you hear people say they don't give a shit, it actually means that they do in fact give a metric ton of shit (the other 1% are politicians or hedge fund managers or other damage cases). Either they refuse to admit giving a shit because it doesn't fit in with their ideas about masculinity or toughness (This is the John Wayne syndrome that causes poor men to vote republican), or they've never learned how to express giving a shit, and may give up after a few clumsy attempts.
Hell, almost all the hostility and bitching and petty slights done on this board are based on giving a shit. If you didn't care about someone in one way or another, you wouldn't take the time to slam them or slight them. This is a way of making someone else demonstrate that they give a shit about you, if only in a negative sense. Thing is, I think we can do better than that. There is no need for superior mutants to wallow in such primate behavior.
The short & skinny is, either you give a shit or you don't. And if you DO give a shit, then at least give a shit enough to communicate without shitting all over your fellow mutants. This goes for everyone, including myself. If you DON'T give a shit, then at least don't give a shit enough to NOT tell us all about how much you don't give a shit, because none of us give a shit about you not giving a shit.
That being said, I'm not giving up my noob addiction, and you can't make me. So shut up.
^^^ Awesome.
I'm LMNO, and I have many shits to give.
I have plenty of both shits and fucks to give, never mind that I suck at formulating the gifts.
:mittens:
Question: is there a line between giving a shit and letting the shit get to you?
Reason I ask is because, a lot of the time, I make a concerted effort not to let shit get to me. The upshot is, regarding a lot of shit, I end up giving much less of a shit. It's either that or I end up running out of shit and I pride myself in being full of shit so I cant allow that shit to happen.
Sometimes I think it'd be nice to have a break from giving a shit. It's exhausting, some days.
I think there's a basic disconnect that happens when one person fails to give as much of a shit about something that another person gives a large pile of shit about. Personally I tend to conserve my shit, because it's hard for me to give a shit (or a fuck) about meaningless, inconsequential shit.
This leads to relationship issues because nobody's definition of "inconsequential" lines up with anyone else's. For example I do not, will not, cannot give a shit what is for dinner most nights. Food, to me, is there to stop me from being hungry. If it accomplishes that, then it is successful food. It may taste better or worse than other food, but that isn't the point. As long as it doesn't make me gag, I do not care. So I'm completely useless in the "what should we have for dinner tonight" discussion, because my answer is always "I don't give a shit." I'm not being callous or uncaring, I just literally do not give a flying monkey shit. I also do not give a shit about anything that happens on Reality TV, or in "Celebrity News," although these are popular things to give shits about.
Other people do not give a shit about things I do give a shit about. Like politics, or religion, or science, or war, or the history of the East India Tea Company. There is always something more important to give your shits about than whatever someone wants them for. That's a universal Human experience, as far as I can tell. I save my shits for shit I think is important; and so do you; and so does everybody. When our definitions of "important" come into alignment, things happen. Most of the time that isn't the case, and trying to beat those definitions into alignment, or spending too much time complaining that they are out of alignment, is a source of a lot of bullshit.
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on August 27, 2012, 07:28:12 PM
Question: is there a line between giving a shit and letting the shit get to you?
Reason I ask is because, a lot of the time, I make a concerted effort not to let shit get to me. The upshot is, regarding a lot of shit, I end up giving much less of a shit. It's either that or I end up running out of shit and I pride myself in being full of shit so I cant allow that shit to happen.
I'd say there's a critical difference, and the lessening of one doesn't necessarily have to mean the lessening of both.
Quote from: v3x on August 27, 2012, 08:13:44 PM
I think there's a basic disconnect that happens when one person fails to give as much of a shit about something that another person gives a large pile of shit about. Personally I tend to conserve my shit, because it's hard for me to give a shit (or a fuck) about meaningless, inconsequential shit.
This leads to relationship issues because nobody's definition of "inconsequential" lines up with anyone else's. For example I do not, will not, cannot give a shit what is for dinner most nights. Food, to me, is there to stop me from being hungry. If it accomplishes that, then it is successful food. It may taste better or worse than other food, but that isn't the point. As long as it doesn't make me gag, I do not care. So I'm completely useless in the "what should we have for dinner tonight" discussion, because my answer is always "I don't give a shit." I'm not being callous or uncaring, I just literally do not give a flying monkey shit. I also do not give a shit about anything that happens on Reality TV, or in "Celebrity News," although these are popular things to give shits about.
Other people do not give a shit about things I do give a shit about. Like politics, or religion, or science, or war, or the history of the East India Tea Company. There is always something more important to give your shits about than whatever someone wants them for. That's a universal Human experience, as far as I can tell. I save my shits for shit I think is important; and so do you; and so does everybody. When our definitions of "important" come into alignment, things happen. Most of the time that isn't the case, and trying to beat those definitions into alignment, or spending too much time complaining that they are out of alignment, is a source of a lot of bullshit.
I understand. I was not talking about giving a shit what Snooky is doing this week.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 27, 2012, 08:27:07 PM
Quote from: v3x on August 27, 2012, 08:13:44 PM
I think there's a basic disconnect that happens when one person fails to give as much of a shit about something that another person gives a large pile of shit about. Personally I tend to conserve my shit, because it's hard for me to give a shit (or a fuck) about meaningless, inconsequential shit.
This leads to relationship issues because nobody's definition of "inconsequential" lines up with anyone else's. For example I do not, will not, cannot give a shit what is for dinner most nights. Food, to me, is there to stop me from being hungry. If it accomplishes that, then it is successful food. It may taste better or worse than other food, but that isn't the point. As long as it doesn't make me gag, I do not care. So I'm completely useless in the "what should we have for dinner tonight" discussion, because my answer is always "I don't give a shit." I'm not being callous or uncaring, I just literally do not give a flying monkey shit. I also do not give a shit about anything that happens on Reality TV, or in "Celebrity News," although these are popular things to give shits about.
Other people do not give a shit about things I do give a shit about. Like politics, or religion, or science, or war, or the history of the East India Tea Company. There is always something more important to give your shits about than whatever someone wants them for. That's a universal Human experience, as far as I can tell. I save my shits for shit I think is important; and so do you; and so does everybody. When our definitions of "important" come into alignment, things happen. Most of the time that isn't the case, and trying to beat those definitions into alignment, or spending too much time complaining that they are out of alignment, is a source of a lot of bullshit.
I understand. I was not talking about giving a shit what Snooky is doing this week.
I know you weren't. That was just one example. There are, of course, literally
millions of people who give more of a shit about Snooky than about their own families, if they'd be honest. Giving a shit about real people who are close to you (or should be) is a dying art. But I give a shit about this place which, you're right, is at the heart of a lot of drama. And even noobtrolldrama is rooted in giving a shit a lot of the time. They give a shit about this place, they want to belong, but they don't know how to express it.
Or they see high levels of shit given between people here and want in on that action, they just don't know where the door is so they eventually try to break through the wall to get in.
I'm just saying that goals and ideals have to align before the shitgiving does anything but swirl around and bounce off of people here.
We also give tons and tons
and tons of shit about things out there in the world that we cannot change, and we give shit about people who are lost in their ignorance and refusing to wake up. But our shit has nowhere to go, so we start picking fights here where we think maybe we can find some fissure in solidarity that we can patch and smooth over, or some defect we can remedy in someone who will listen (because the rest of the world is beyond hope).
Counterproductive, though.
Quote from: v3x on August 27, 2012, 08:36:11 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 27, 2012, 08:27:07 PM
Quote from: v3x on August 27, 2012, 08:13:44 PM
I think there's a basic disconnect that happens when one person fails to give as much of a shit about something that another person gives a large pile of shit about. Personally I tend to conserve my shit, because it's hard for me to give a shit (or a fuck) about meaningless, inconsequential shit.
This leads to relationship issues because nobody's definition of "inconsequential" lines up with anyone else's. For example I do not, will not, cannot give a shit what is for dinner most nights. Food, to me, is there to stop me from being hungry. If it accomplishes that, then it is successful food. It may taste better or worse than other food, but that isn't the point. As long as it doesn't make me gag, I do not care. So I'm completely useless in the "what should we have for dinner tonight" discussion, because my answer is always "I don't give a shit." I'm not being callous or uncaring, I just literally do not give a flying monkey shit. I also do not give a shit about anything that happens on Reality TV, or in "Celebrity News," although these are popular things to give shits about.
Other people do not give a shit about things I do give a shit about. Like politics, or religion, or science, or war, or the history of the East India Tea Company. There is always something more important to give your shits about than whatever someone wants them for. That's a universal Human experience, as far as I can tell. I save my shits for shit I think is important; and so do you; and so does everybody. When our definitions of "important" come into alignment, things happen. Most of the time that isn't the case, and trying to beat those definitions into alignment, or spending too much time complaining that they are out of alignment, is a source of a lot of bullshit.
I understand. I was not talking about giving a shit what Snooky is doing this week.
I know you weren't. That was just one example. There are, of course, literally millions of people who give more of a shit about Snooky than about their own families, if they'd be honest. Giving a shit about real people who are close to you (or should be) is a dying art. But I give a shit about this place which, you're right, is at the heart of a lot of drama. And even noobtrolldrama is rooted in giving a shit a lot of the time. They give a shit about this place, they want to belong, but they don't know how to express it.
Or they see high levels of shit given between people here and want in on that action, they just don't know where the door is so they eventually try to break through the wall to get in.
I'm just saying that goals and ideals have to align before the shitgiving does anything but swirl around and bounce off of people here.
We also give tons and tons and tons of shit about things out there in the world that we cannot change, and we give shit about people who are lost in their ignorance and refusing to wake up. But our shit has nowhere to go, so we start picking fights here where we think maybe we can find some fissure in solidarity that we can patch and smooth over, or some defect we can remedy in someone who will listen (because the rest of the world is beyond hope).
Counterproductive, though.
I refuse to give a shit about this. It takes real effort to purge that mental acid reflux and it takes the kind of control that takes years to develop and sometimes I slip and the bile rises up in my throat and the rage starts to get a hold but, fuck it, I choke that shit down because this is my life, it's my party and fuck if I'm going to lose my shit over dumbass bullshit that I can do nothing about.
If that makes me a sociopath, then so be it. If that loses me friends then so be it. I aint going to pretend to give a shit, even though that's easier, cos it's fake and it aint me and, fuck it, I don't believe that giving a shit about it is the right thing to do and being true to myself is one of the few things I can say, hand on heart, I genuinely do give a shit about
speaking of giving a shit but being unable to express it properly
how the fuck do you help somebody out of a panic attack, without resorting to bullshit like "think about rainbows and unicorns" or "just try to breathe" ?
Quote from: v3x on August 27, 2012, 10:32:30 PM
speaking of giving a shit but being unable to express it properly
how the fuck do you help somebody out of a panic attack, without resorting to bullshit like "think about rainbows and unicorns" or "just try to breathe" ?
Hit them with a trout.
Quote from: v3x on August 27, 2012, 10:32:30 PM
speaking of giving a shit but being unable to express it properly
how the fuck do you help somebody out of a panic attack, without resorting to bullshit like "think about rainbows and unicorns" or "just try to breathe" ?
Find a place for them to lie down.
Get out of the way. Panic attacks are a physiological reaction to stress. Nothing you can say will improve the situation.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 27, 2012, 11:28:41 PM
Quote from: v3x on August 27, 2012, 10:32:30 PM
speaking of giving a shit but being unable to express it properly
how the fuck do you help somebody out of a panic attack, without resorting to bullshit like "think about rainbows and unicorns" or "just try to breathe" ?
Find a place for them to lie down.
Get out of the way. Panic attacks are a physiological reaction to stress. Nothing you can say will improve the situation.
Yeah that's what bugs me. It feels like I
should be able to help - if not with the panic attack itself, then with the environment that leads to them.
I agree with roger for the most part. Sometimes I had luck getting my ex-wife out of panic attacks by doing something absurd or unexpected... surprise would sometimes reset whatever was going wrong.
Mostly though, just having them lie down and that they know someone is there seems to be the best route.
Quote from: v3x on August 27, 2012, 08:36:11 PM
We also give tons and tons and tons of shit about things out there in the world that we cannot change, and we give shit about people who are lost in their ignorance and refusing to wake up.
I find that when pressed, a lot of the shit labeled "things in the world we cannot change" actually turn out to be things that
can be changed, they just require a high frustration tolerance, collective action, and eschewing instant gratification. So it turns into a sour grapes rationalization, "That person's mind or tough issue just couldn't be changed, so I can give up now."
Quote from: v3x on August 27, 2012, 11:32:23 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 27, 2012, 11:28:41 PM
Quote from: v3x on August 27, 2012, 10:32:30 PM
speaking of giving a shit but being unable to express it properly
how the fuck do you help somebody out of a panic attack, without resorting to bullshit like "think about rainbows and unicorns" or "just try to breathe" ?
Find a place for them to lie down.
Get out of the way. Panic attacks are a physiological reaction to stress. Nothing you can say will improve the situation.
Yeah that's what bugs me. It feels like I should be able to help - if not with the panic attack itself, then with the environment that leads to them.
Whoops. There's a difference between something that LEADS to a panic attack, and what you can do to help once the attack has already started.
Want to see me have a full-blown panic attack? Drop me in six feet of water. (A few people have seen me in that much water on purpose, but that's with me in control of where I am, what I'm doing, and it's usually "fuck you, fear, you don't control me" and the panic attack held off by force of will.) There's a difference between "just don't fucking push me in the deep end of the pool" and "haul my ass out of the water, give me a towel, and get the fuck away from me while I get my shit together."
Quote from: Luna on August 28, 2012, 03:59:24 AM
Quote from: v3x on August 27, 2012, 11:32:23 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 27, 2012, 11:28:41 PM
Quote from: v3x on August 27, 2012, 10:32:30 PM
speaking of giving a shit but being unable to express it properly
how the fuck do you help somebody out of a panic attack, without resorting to bullshit like "think about rainbows and unicorns" or "just try to breathe" ?
Find a place for them to lie down.
Get out of the way. Panic attacks are a physiological reaction to stress. Nothing you can say will improve the situation.
Yeah that's what bugs me. It feels like I should be able to help - if not with the panic attack itself, then with the environment that leads to them.
Whoops. There's a difference between something that LEADS to a panic attack, and what you can do to help once the attack has already started.
Want to see me have a full-blown panic attack? Drop me in six feet of water. (A few people have seen me in that much water on purpose, but that's with me in control of where I am, what I'm doing, and it's usually "fuck you, fear, you don't control me" and the panic attack held off by force of will.) There's a difference between "just don't fucking push me in the deep end of the pool" and "haul my ass out of the water, give me a towel, and get the fuck away from me while I get my shit together."
That sounds more like an anxiety attack response than a panic attack response.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 27, 2012, 11:28:41 PM
Quote from: v3x on August 27, 2012, 10:32:30 PM
speaking of giving a shit but being unable to express it properly
how the fuck do you help somebody out of a panic attack, without resorting to bullshit like "think about rainbows and unicorns" or "just try to breathe" ?
Find a place for them to lie down.
Get out of the way. Panic attacks are a physiological reaction to stress. Nothing you can say will improve the situation.
I've been talked out of a panic attack.
However, I also have extensive practice with breathing techniques, otherwise the person trying to help me could have made it much worse. A lot of people are uncomfortable with even being aware of their breathing let alone modulating it.
The unfortunate part about that is how breathing patterns are strongly linked to the physiological stress response. When you alter the breathing component, you're directly effecting your physiology. But it takes prior practice to be able to apply it to extreme situations.
I'm not sure there is a one-size-fits all approach to severe anxiety issues—what helps one person may cause another to freak out even more. Assuming you know the person who is having the panic attack, it's probably best to rely on your intuition about what is likely to be helpful to that specific person.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 27, 2012, 05:45:28 PM
We in the Best of the One True Churches™ occasionally develop a pretty high opinion of ourselves. We assume that because we can laugh at horror, we're somehow smarter than the average monkey. This is of course patently false...I'm a dumbass, and so are you.
No, what makes us different is that we GIVE A SHIT. After all, if you don't give a shit, then what is the point of learning to think clearly in the first fucking place? If you DON'T give a shit, then – and this is only my humble opinion – perhaps you would be better served by joining the Calvinists and shitting on people from a great height. It's your soul.
Now, 99% of the time that you hear people say they don't give a shit, it actually means that they do in fact give a metric ton of shit (the other 1% are politicians or hedge fund managers or other damage cases). Either they refuse to admit giving a shit because it doesn't fit in with their ideas about masculinity or toughness (This is the John Wayne syndrome that causes poor men to vote republican), or they've never learned how to express giving a shit, and may give up after a few clumsy attempts.
Hell, almost all the hostility and bitching and petty slights done on this board are based on giving a shit. If you didn't care about someone in one way or another, you wouldn't take the time to slam them or slight them. This is a way of making someone else demonstrate that they give a shit about you, if only in a negative sense. Thing is, I think we can do better than that. There is no need for superior mutants to wallow in such primate behavior.
The short & skinny is, either you give a shit or you don't. And if you DO give a shit, then at least give a shit enough to communicate without shitting all over your fellow mutants. This goes for everyone, including myself. If you DON'T give a shit, then at least don't give a shit enough to NOT tell us all about how much you don't give a shit, because none of us give a shit about you not giving a shit.
That being said, I'm not giving up my noob addiction, and you can't make me. So shut up.
A FUCKING men!